The End Of Seeking

[Raptorsin7]

 

Edited March 23, 2020 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

The true mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost

The true heart can tough the poison of hatred without being harmed

Since beginning-less time darkness thrives in the void, but always yields to purifying light

[zeroISinfinity]

Did you played 5 games of League of Legends of complete mindfulness. 

You know only focus on your champ. 

Champ/chimp reminded me on foot long can't beat that but can practise and be best with average. Mindfulness is very helpful for many things. 

Tantra yogini here we go while hippie chick is not here. 

I am such a devil sometimes  I am sorry. ☺️

Edited March 27, 2020 by zeroISinfinity

[Raptorsin7]

@zeroISinfinity  Hey thanks for checking in coach 

I played a few games top lane, I switched roles, and It was much more fun. 

I really want to start a morning routine of meditation, yoga etc before I play ranked games. I think it will help the climb.

I will keep trying to be mindful as I play. I know a lot of games I lose focus and start tilting etc and then it fucks me. 

12 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

I am such a devil sometimes  I am sorry. ☺️

Man don't be so hard on yourself. How are you being a devil

Go look at what I wrote on modmyth's journal lol, that's 10x worse 

[zeroISinfinity]

I just read her story about sex in woods. Made me remember something. 

I have nothing to hide. 

I was maybe e 20,21years old back then. I had sex with my boss she was like 40 or more in near by forest close to our working place. Nowhere near romantic. Oh gosh how naive I was hahahaha. 

You know what new girlfriend loves nature so. ?

It's police hour man nothing to do. Corona yada yada yada lots of time for self reflection, meditation, dreamboard etc. 

Edited March 27, 2020 by zeroISinfinity

[Raptorsin7]

Hahah I had something similar happen to me recently with a girl I just met when I was out walking.

Life is getting better and better. The website is coming along really well, i'm learning the game so fast. I will be challenger in no time.

Can't wait to start boosting accounts to challenger. When corona virus is over I will spend 1 month in Hawaii just chilling out on the beach 

[Raptorsin7]

So i've officially put an end to a major chapter of my life. I dropped out of law school. I basically told my controlling uncle to chill out and stop telling me what to do.

I'm beginning to notice the nuance of words like SHOULD, NEED, MUST, HAVE TO. When i scrutizine my language these words come up, over and over again. But i do not want to live my life like that. I want to live according to what i want. And what i want is to feel love. I want to feel good. So i will live my life according to what feels good, and what i want that will lead to feeling good. 

I want to be less strict and rigid in my practices as well. The guide for me is feeling now, and it's important to be attentive to how different practices and teachers make me feel. If it doesn't feel good then move on. Find something that feels good. Very simple. 

I'm so thankful for the path. My life is getting so much better. The trajectory i'm now wasn't even conceivable to me like 4 months ago. I was still a lost law student looking for happiness in all the wrong places. I can't believe how much i've improved and changed. Very excited for the future.

[Raptorsin7]

How to play league?

Relax, and have fun. No need to be so serious. Just enjoy. All is well, all is good.

Paradoxically, this will produce the best results. I want to do my best. So just be yourself. No need for more than that.

[zeroISinfinity]

@Raptorsin7 Hey man thanks. 

You are so awesome. 

When ?=Jed says /it's this /you know peter pan. Peter part of me starts to rage and tilts lol. 

Sometimes I am just average LoL player in life I rage a lot. 

I take keyboard and start hitting desk until it gets destroyed. 

Feelings never wrong. 

Then I take mouse and throw it outside. ?

Fucking LoL, fuck the day I even start playing it. (metaphore) 

Edited April 14, 2020 by zeroISinfinity

[Raptorsin7]

@zeroISinfinity haha no problem man. Thank you too. 

[Raptorsin7]

Who am i?

YOU.

who is the one that is observing the typing? I am. But no that's not the observer. I am is just typed language. And the common response of I am the observer doesn't make sense because it's a thought.

 

[zeroISinfinity]

@Raptorsin7 Oh God damn it. 

Don't try to be ? Jed. 

That's not Self inquiry. 

Just sit there do nothing. Senses, pure senses. 

Feelings never wrong so feelings. 

Edited April 15, 2020 by zeroISinfinity

[Raptorsin7]

@zeroISinfinity Okay haha.

My third eye is cracking and popping like crazy. I remember during my awakening where i got the waves of bliss it popped fully open.

You think just sitting and being with these sensations in between my eyes overtime this will lead to enlightenment? I'm not sure what practices to do now, like i do meditate again for like 30 minutes to an hour but i don't know if i'm close to actual awakening again.

Kinda getting bored tbh. I feel like i'm in limbo, like i'm so close to actual enlightenment where i feel it, but at same time i am disconnected right now.

[zeroISinfinity]

Sit there like a curious cat. Feel all of it.

If you want to focus on something, focus on ❤️. 

Meditate with eyes closed so you do not get distracted. 

Edited April 15, 2020 by zeroISinfinity

[Raptorsin7]

@zeroISinfinity I don't feel Heart though. I legit don't feel love lol. My heart chakra isn't opened yet.

Do you mean focus attention on the heart area of my body? Like bring awareness to chest. Or do you mean bring attention to the feeling of love? Because i don't feel love yet.

[zeroISinfinity]

Do nothing sit there close your eyes and meditate. Do not think about anything any tought let go return to senses. 

[Raptorsin7]

@zeroISinfinity Okay.

Does it make it a difference if I lay or down or sit straight with back up?

I think binaural beats are really valuable too, but I want to find one that makes me feel good. 

Do you think movie soundtracks or mixes could work as well as healing binaural beats? Or are beats better?

[Raptorsin7]

Learning to cry and opening the crown chakra are the next steps on the path for me.

Could contemplating on these questions give me the answers to these problems @Nahm

I've re-introduced practices like meditation and overall i feel more grounded and my third eye is popping like crazy which is a great sign. But i'm not sure if i should just ramp up my meditation to like 3-4 hours a day. Should i do affirmations, should i do yoga? So many questions, so little answers.

I really do feel stuck right now, but i am hopeful. I know the path is real for me, and i've felt it so there's no question that the path is forward. But i really do want to break through and open these chakras, i believe it's a key to my success and progress on my LP.

[Raptorsin7]

The end of this clip has a great talk destiny, and keeping an open mind and an open heart. I feel those words and they make me emotional. But not enough for a full on purge crying, which is what i want. 

Maybe more movies, more tv shows? Hmm?

[Nahm]

Yes contemplation can bring any answer to the surface. Key is fully letting the question go, and feeling good. 

I’d say yes to all of the above practices, try all of them, to the extent you genuinely want to. Not to ‘kill it’ for ‘gainz’ so to speak.  The whole thing’s about presence, mindfulness, letting go. Careful not to miss any of that in the “doing” of the “practices”. “Slow & steady wins the race”. Nobody’s ever really “moving”, so, it’s always safe to surrender, relax, some ‘witness mode’ maybe. 

Breaking open the crown chakra is kind of a backwards understanding. We tend to go to thinking about it, and associating it with the head & higher consciousness, on the forehead specifically, but that’s like thinking the water is only of the facet, without acknowledging all the pluming pipes bringing the water to it.  

The body is infinite intelligence. In terms of purification, feel emotion / energy in the body, Moving in a wavelike feeling, from your feet all the way up through the body and straight up out of the top of the head. Take a deep stomach breathe in while feeling the body ‘gathering up all the energy to be released’, hold it for a few seconds, and then blow the breathe out, and feel it all go up and out the crown. 

When letting go, releasing, purification....there is very strictly not thought involved. Put awareness to seeing, hearing, breathing, relaxing, feeling. 

You’ll be sitting front row to the ‘how sneaky you actually are’ matinee. You’ll trick yourself right out of purification with thinking & involving other people probably three to four hundred times, but be steadfast nonetheless, a point will come where you don’t get tricked by it.

? vs ?