Sex Journal

[egoeimai]

BTW keep describing cock and pussy. 

It's amazing to read. 

Lol

 

[Annoynymous]

@egoeimai lol.

I think how you see cock and pussy is quite relative

Edited December 31, 2019 by Annoynymous

[Annoynymous]

40 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

Men want sex. Women want sex. People want sex. 

Some women want commitment before sex. 

Some women want sex before commitment. 

Some women want only sex and no commitment. 

Some women want commitment only, and if sex happens. Okay. 

 

Some men are not having as their main goal to have sex. Some men really want commitment but they do enjoy sex. 

There are asexual people. They happen to be men as well.you know. Men and women. Asexual. Which means no sex at all 

 

People are complicated being. So much more than these oversimplified statements. 

Let's not put women and men in that position. It's 2020 already. And people are not one thing and only. 

@egoeimai actually what you described is quite eye opening because hey, it's quite difficult to find other examples of men and women viewing sexuality that you described.

In a conservative society (prescisely where i live),  women do want commitment before sex in 98% of the case. It's mainly because of consevetism.

On the other hand, men in this kind of society enjoys privilege sexually because of hyper patriarchal societal pattern.

So it is quite hard to experience sexual dynamics other than that.  

[Annoynymous]

Conservatism and it's effect on my sexuality

i was raised in a conservative society. My family is also conservative but a moderate one. 

Since childhood i used to be a introvert person who would spend hours in observing others and questioning everything. I was and am curious about pretty much everything as hell. 

In my early teenage time, i used to question the nature of this world and existence of myself. Why am i here? What is my purpose? What is these place? - these were some common questions too ask.

Maybe i was looking for an authority figure to guide me and tell me what it is. As i have said early that i live in a conservative area, teaching about religion (Islam) is very common here. I also read in a islamic oriented school so it also influenced me directly.

So i turned to religion. I began to read quran and other religious text. I had found some sort of shelter in it and beginning to subscribe to it quite quickly.

So it did have an impact on my views on sexuality.

In islam, it is prohibited to look at women (without "mahram", which basically includes mother, sister and other close relatives) twice. No romantic relation, no sex outside marriage, no masturbation etc. It was also described how one would be punished in this life and afterlife if he violates these rules.

So i believed all of that and start practicing.  

It meant i could not masturbate. Can not have romantic relationship. So the sexual energy inside me was on the rise.

I used to feel frustrated, annoying and anxious. Even though masturbation was prohibited,  i used to do it within few days of abstaining. Then i would  guilt myself, become pretty upset about it.

I did not like my cock getting erected. I did not like to see a women who wear revealing dress but at the same time i was feeling pretty attracted towards her. 

I was getting teared apart. Sometime it felt like going against myself. Suppression, repression was very common. I was not even aware of the dynamics of my sexual energy and how to become conscious of it. So it gave me pretty hard time.

I was sexually repressed by myself, until one day i decided to explore what lies outside of my thinking pattern and belief system.

I am writing this journal in a nonlinear,  scattered way. But it is an expression of my sexual self, which was suppressed for a long time. I think this is the time when i need to vent out whatever is in my mind to open up sexually in a honest way.   

It's a process of discovery, outside of the box. I want to see what can i discover.

 

 

Edited December 31, 2019 by Annoynymous

[Annoynymous]

Sexual Arousal by Visual

it is true that for male and female,visual is one of the most vital players for sexual arousal. For Male, they absolutely depends on visual to arouse.

So what captures a  man's eye at first? Of course, the physical appearance of opposite sex. I do not know about others, but what i notice first about a female is their face and body shape. If it attracts me, then bam. I start to feel the heat.

It would be a lie if i say i don't check out for breasts as almost all other men.  I find it awkward to look at woman's breast when i first look at her. It is kinda creepy. But if i get introduced,  then it depends when i would check out for that. Maybe after spending some time, if our conversation goes fine.

### i think arousal works in a counter intuitive way. I have noticed that if i see some woman wearing revealing dress,  many times i won't be aroused. But if i see some tiny part of her physique gets revealed accidentally like side boob or belly,  i would be aroused almost immediately. I have also heard some men reporting the same experience on this matter.

I think a sense of secrecy  plays a huge part in arousal. People are curious by nature and if one can intrigue their curiosity then they would seek to find answers like hell.    

Edited January 1, 2020 by Annoynymous

[Annoynymous]

An image that represents the Union through Sex 

 

[Annoynymous]

On Ejaculation

i think men have got an inclination to ejaculate inside the pussy.

one of my favourite sexual fantasy is that i am ejaculating inside a women's pussy and how it is fulfilling etc. It feels like i would be giving something "valuable" to her by doing that.

It also feel like a "holy duty". A sense of belongingness with the women. I wonder why i fantasize like that.

Maybe it has got some reproduction value. We can not go against our genetics. So as man, i feel like it is my duty sow my seeds from the point of view of giving birth.

From that pov,  its fine and serve the cause near perfectly. But is it fulfilling and close enough to attain spiritual union? Absolutely not.   

Edited January 1, 2020 by Annoynymous

[Annoynymous]

On Nakedness 

sometimes i wonder what is the relationship between Sex and being naked - is there any?

Traditional sense of sex implies that one has to be nude in order to have sex. So sex includes nakedness. But is the nakedness include being sexual?

I think not. When i am naked, i do not necessarily feel like a sexual being although i know that i can feel like that if i want to. I think being sexual while being nude is a choice,  neither a necessity nor inevitable.

Sometimes i try to be naked just to feel what it feels like. What i have discovered is that there is a difference of feeling while in cloth or being naked.

When i am naked, i feel connected to the nature. Somehow it feels raw, although i can not describe the feeling properly. Also, when i am naked i can see that i do not look at my full body. 

It feels great to look at my cock just the sake of looking at itself other than peeing, masturbating or bathing. A body part of myself just hanging around outwardly yet so much connected inwardly.  It is not aroused, not erected - just like soft small tail.

I am thinking on the transformation of the cock from non sexual to sexual position. How it changes physically as well as emotionally is just amazing. I will write about it surely.