Deep existential fear, please help

[nightrider1435]

@Max_V Unfortunately you’re just going to have to ride this out. These realizations can really shake you to your core.

8 hours ago, Max_V said:

Right now, like I said, I’m back to base. I want this process to go more smoothly and lovingly. How do I do that

It just can’t always be like that. You can’t plan for theses things to go smoothly like the mind would prefer.

[ADD]

You can't think yourself out from this. Having fears about the sensations of fear is creating a cycle of fear. You answer to your fear with fear. The spritual awakening makes you more aware of your feelings. That is why you feel those somatic symptoms so strongly. And having those physical symptoms just means your body is functioning correctly. Your mind tells your body that it's in danger and it causes fight or flight response which then causes all kinds of physical sensations. You are fine, the fear is illusion.

Take your focus from your thought to the feeling. Hold it there. If you loose your focus to your thought stream, bring it back to the physical sensation.

You can allso try observing your thoughts. Face them. They are unreal. Nothing to be afraid of. Be compassionate to your fearful mind. If the fear arises again you know that you are lost in your thoughts.

 

The fear is here to help you awaken. It's your spiritual teacher.

[karkaore]

7 hours ago, Max_V said:

I just did some self-reflection. What I saw is that my mind is trying to process insights and realizations it cannot metabolize.

•  My existence is a lie and made up. 
• I have always been here and will never leave.
• My love is the only thing I can ever rely on. Everything else is in constant flux. 
• The line between insane and sane is arbitrary and abstract and does not actually exist. All judgement we make about a certain state is just that, a judgement. The being that underlies it is forever the same.

While my mind processes these truths, I guess I will just distract myself as much as necessary to make it bearable.

 

When you use a word "Me" you are confusing yourself with something you are not. This is where the fear comes from.

How is it that your existence is a lie when your existence is the only thing you have ever experienced?

Edited December 17, 2019 by karkaore

[Max_V]

@karkaore Me, Max, is in constant flux, never the same. thus being this static thing that I have always thought myself to be is a lie.

[Shin]

1 hour ago, nightrider1435 said:

@Max_V Unfortunately you’re just going to have to ride this out. These realizations can really shake you to your core.

It just can’t always be like that. You can’t plan for theses things to go smoothly like the mind would prefer.

Exactly ?

Just hold on tight Max ?

[archi]

18 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

My dread is everyday life without spirit.

Choose your spirit 

[remember]

10 hours ago, Max_V said:

It feels like there is tons of energy moving in my stomach and heart area. Can this physically harm my body? Is this part of some transition? How should I approach this?

feel the energy, it`s not just movement is it? close your eyes -  feel the heat - what do you see?

[ivory]

I went through this a couple years ago. Fear of no-self. Fear of nothing existing. Etc. It passes. The best thing you can do is not resist it. After a while you see that the mind is just playing tricks on you and there's nothing to be afraid of.