Deep existential fear, please help

[Max_V]

I am having really big existential fear. My entire body is reacting like it's going to die. I intuit it's about death I'm resisting. I don't know what to do. Please help. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone and deeply afraid

[Highest]

Don't fear death, love it and embrace it. Nothing unpleasant can happen with death once it is done, become conscious of this fact. Prophet Muhammad said it well and knew what he was talking about when he said:

"O ignorant one! When we die, it will be proven to us: a dream was what we have seen. And what we have heard, was a tale."

Death is not the end, it's the ultimate final awakening. Accept it, surrender to it. Be happy, you lived. Now it's time to die, and it couldn't get more beautiful than that, more magical, more extraordinary and beyond even that. 

[nightrider1435]

Do you know what sparked this? Mediation, self inquiry, psychedelic? Either way this will pass, whether or not the ego is resisting just know it's all good. This can be very unpleasant, just hang in there, you're ok! 

[Leeeon]

Lay down.

Let it wash over you.

[Highest]

God likes excitment. Extraordinary unknown things which will happen. Let it unfold, see what happens. Put this "death" to the test. 

[Max_V]

@nightrider1435 @Highest @Leeeon I've been trying to just let it pass, it resulted in me having a panic attack that has been going on on for more than an hour now. My heartrate has been elevated all this time, I feel so tired.

[Leeeon]

I've been there before.

Does taking a bath sound good?

If so, Take a nice, warm bath,put on some music and let out some emotions. 

[karkaore]

@Max_V I would recommend you to get distracted from the idea for now. Seems like you've been revealed to something your ego can't cope with atm.

Let it go. Go out, call a friend and have some fun. Go for a walk or something. Whatever you like. I know it doesn't seem that way for you now, but it will pass. New heights are waiting for you, friend.

[Leeeon]

 

[Max_V]

Thank you guys for responding to my message. That means a lot. I’m going to sleep now, will give an update tomorrow.

bye 

[Visionary]

There's something accompanying you during those existential fears. This fear can give one a feeling of complete alienation. But there is something that cannot be touched. It's home. It's You.

[ADD]

This is a really good video about the subject. I've been going through extreme fears during this path. I hope you well, it will pass.

[Leo Gura]

Just suffer thru it. Let go of needing it to go away.

[Raptorsin7]

@Leo Gura Does existential dread still come up as you go deeper into spirituality? Or is it one of those things where once you uncover it and accept it fully it stops arising?

 

[Leo Gura]

My dread is everyday life without spirit.

[Raptorsin7]

@Leo Gura So you do have days without spirit anymore?

[Max_V]

Hello, it’s morning for me now.

I think homeostasis kicked in and brought me back to base. Now that I can give some more context, I will. I have been meditating since I was 16, I turn 20 the 27th. Two days ago during practicing my AUM chant, then pranayama, and finally some breath meditation, My self started dissolving.  (I had this 2 years ago too, even commented about it on the forum as well.) As a result this incredible gripping fear of death came upon me. I brushed it off, knowing it would probably pass like last time. Then yesterday it came back full force. It felt like my entire reality was collapsing. I ended up sitting in a fetus position with my family holding on to me so that I could confirm I still existed. Pretty crazy. This thought that “I cannot hang on to anything” was rapid firing in my mind. Then as a result I oscillated between that meaning that I am safe everywhere and that I am safe nowhere. Eventually I got into a loop of “I am safe nowhere”, and had a long panic attack lasting for about 3 hours, that I was going to die.

Right now, like I said, I’m back to base. I want this process to go more smoothly and lovingly. How do I do that?

@Highest @nightrider1435 @Leeeon @karkaore @Leo Gura @Visionary @ADD

[Max_V]

I just did some self-reflection. What I saw is that my mind is trying to process insights and realizations it cannot metabolize.

•  My existence is a lie and made up. 
• I have always been here and will never leave.
• My love is the only thing I can ever rely on. Everything else is in constant flux. 
• The line between insane and sane is arbitrary and abstract and does not actually exist. All judgement we make about a certain state is just that, a judgement. The being that underlies it is forever the same.

While my mind processes these truths, I guess I will just distract myself as much as necessary to make it bearable.

 

Edited December 17, 2019 by Max_V

[Max_V]

It feels like there is tons of energy moving in my stomach and heart area. Can this physically harm my body? Is this part of some transition? How should I approach this?

@Leo Gura

[Eu Sint]

3 hours ago, Max_V said:

It feels like there is tons of energy moving in my stomach and heart area. Can this physically harm my body? Is this part of some transition? How should I approach this?

What if you were trying to remove the mental labels that attach to these experiences and only experience them as deeply as you can, as if it were something new, never known until now and for which there is no matching label. Just let yourself be carried by these energies, moved with them, be one with them to the subtlest details. What if you replace fear with curiosity?You call it death, but have you ever experienced death ? You know what it's like to die, so that you can be scared ?Aren't you afraid of your own imagination? Think about this.Contemplate. ❤️