Groundedness Over Enlightenment?

[emind]

 

Emotional Groundedness 

One of the main things I've been trying to pursue through my meditation practices is achieving emotional groundedness and stability. I have a very over active mind, and my energy is all over the place. I typically struggle to hold my own whenever I'm having a disagreement with someone else (due to nervousness and fear), and am just generally very frenetic. 

Although I have managed to partially control this energy through a daily meditation practice, it very rarely lasts beyond 2 hours after my meditation session. 

 

And this is what I realized...

Although experiences of no-self are extremely valuable and typically bring with them emotional groundedness, they are not one and the same with groundedness per-se. Not only that, but the thing that I was really going after in my meditation practice (without really knowing it consciously) was simply acquiring a more grounded and calm attitude. Although my goals may seem incredibly trivial for the metaphysically inclined, achieving emotional groundedness is a priority for me. Im still young and haven't yet established a career or acquired the material wealth I want to acquire, I am still largely in stage Orange  of SD, whether I want it or not, and I cant force myself to the upper stages prematurely. 

So my question is, how can I develop a specific, and very practical plan, exclusively designed to achieve  emotional groundedness? Do you know any resources? 

 

Ultimately what I'm trying to pursue is that calm, peaceful, unperturbed, and confident state you achieve after a really good meditation session. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Cut down any dietary ingredients like caffeine or other stuff like sugars and alcohol /smoking. 

Restful sleep 

Of course meditation. But practice is needed. To fit into a flow. 

Try Transcendental Meditation which helps a lot with emotions 

 

For me personally, counting helps a lot. 

Also a shower to calm down when he mind is racing. 

Avoid distractions. Keep a no distraction day. 

Journal your emotions. This helps in keeping a record and emotions processing. 

Walks. A nice walk helps a lot in keeping those nasty thoughts away 

Cut down sensory stimulation in your life. 

 

Do shadow work for intrusive thoughts 

 

Use Om meditation. Available on YouTube 

When your mind is racing, dry drawing and sketching. 

EFT... Emotional freedom technique. Does wonders 

 

Do not react immediately. First understand and analyze, then react. Cut off the tendency to react immediately by shunning yourself whenever you react emotionally. 

If you are having disagreement and cannot tolerate them then learn to let go and practice letting go and acceptance. 

 

What I learned is something of my own concept. I call this concept emotional immunity. That is I try to distance myself from the reaction realizing that it's baseless for me to react out of it no matter how much ever my emotion is justified. So I gain immunity over time. I just do not allow the disagreement to impact me. This requires shunning the situation and calling it useless. Thus I have invalidated it before it can impact me. 

I hope the list helps. I can't say a concrete plan but maybe all the random bits of information Iisted might help you to make a thorough plan. 

 

Edited December 16, 2019 by Preety_India

[erik8lrl]

Self-Love

[Consilience]

7 minutes ago, erik8lrl said:

Self-Love

This +1

 

I feel like a broken record because I always talk about it now on the forum, (It’s helped me so much so I try to spread the word lol) but the book The Mind Illuminated by John Yates. A samtha state of consciousness is extremely tranquil, equanimous, and joyful which Id consider to be a very emotionally grounded state. In the book, this dude outlines a meditation practiced designed around achieving samatha. Maybe it wouldnt be up your alley but ime it’s been the most effective way Ive ever meditated. Ive gotten more results with transforming my baseline state of consciousness following that book’s meditation style than any other spiritual practice. Only other technique that rivals it would be psychedelics but since emotional groundedness is what you’re after, not really sure psychedelics would be a good idea. 

[Raptorsin7]

@erik8lrl what is self love? Is it just acceptance of whatever the experience is in the moment? Is there a degree of self love or is it you love your experience or you don't?

[Raptorsin7]

@Consilience What does the book teach specifically? Is the whole book just about getting that samatha experience? Or does he cover other stuff too?

[Consilience]

1 hour ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Consilience What does the book teach specifically? Is the whole book just about getting that samatha experience? Or does he cover other stuff too?

He covers other stuff too. He describes how mindfulness can heal us, what the foundations are for any meditation practice, various meditation techniques, how to enter into jhana states and why these states could be useful, how talks about the nature of mind and consciousness, and creates new distinctions in experience I personally never heard of until reading the book such as the difference between extrospective vs. introspective awareness, attention vs. awareness, mind wandering vs. subtle distractions vs. gross distractions, the nature of joy and happiness. It's a rather technical book but I've learned a lot from it. Ultimately the aim is the achieve samatha though so that's the overall context. 

Edited December 16, 2019 by Consilience

[Leo Gura]

The ego cannot have emotional groundedness because all of it is false.

The only thing there is to ground into is Truth, which the opposite of the you who wants control.

For a calm attitude, you must die.

[Nak Khid]

7 hours ago, emind said:

 

Emotional Groundedness 

One of the main things I've been trying to pursue through my meditation practices is achieving emotional groundedness and stability. I have a very over active mind, and my energy is all over the place. I typically struggle to hold my own whenever I'm having a disagreement with someone else (due to nervousness and fear), and am just generally very frenetic. 

Although I have managed to partially control this energy through a daily meditation practice, it very rarely lasts beyond 2 hours after my meditation session. 

 

Try this specific form of Buddhist meditation called Metta Meditation. It will include a different way of dealing with the person you are in contact with with the conflict

 

[Nak Khid]

31 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The ego cannot have emotional groundedness because all of it is false.

The only thing there is to ground into is Truth, which the opposite of the you who wants control.

For a calm attitude, you must die.

you've strayed into extremes 

[Leo Gura]

@Nak Khid You're about to get kicked out of this forum if you keep up with this foolishness.

I have less and less patience for people on this forum talking shit they clearly do not understand. Either have enough wisdom to listen to those who know more than you, or find some other place on the internet to BS. It's not gonna fly here.

I see you.

[Nahm]

9 hours ago, emind said:

I typically struggle to hold my own whenever I'm having a disagreement with someone else

Inspect the validity of your own thoughts...it’s not perception taking you for a ride. 

For example, why ‘have a disagreement’ at all ?

When you’ve seen through your own sneakery, you’ve seen through everyone’s, and there is little surprise left to throw you ‘off center’, there is no ‘self’ to constantly protect and defend, such as with disagreements. 

‘Trying to be grounded’ might just really = not feeling (creating the resistance). 

Handing the power over to everyone - “I hope you don’t throw me off my ‘grounded ness’.”

Trying to be an object, when you’re the emptiness the scene ‘transpires in’, will never ‘click’.

[Leeeon]

@Leo Gura Maybe you should do a Video that helps people to use this Forum better, i don't get the feeling that many have really internalized the guidelines, myself included.

[emind]

@Preety_India Wow, that  was a really good post, seriously thank you. I am definitely going to try a few things on that list. I feel caffeine affects me tremendously, and I also have a thing for artificial sweeteners, which I've heard are neurotoxic. 

[emind]

@Consilience Hey! I checked out the book on Amazon and it looks really good! I'm going to buy it and stick with it. Thanks for the advice!

[Preety_India]

39 minutes ago, emind said:

@Preety_India Wow, that  was a really good post, seriously thank you. I am definitely going to try a few things on that list. I feel caffeine affects me tremendously, and I also have a thing for artificial sweeteners, which I've heard are neurotoxic. 

You're very welcome. Caffeine does impact like a ton. I see a huge shift with and without caffeine. 

Artificial sweeteners are definitely neurotoxin. They shorten our levels of impulse control. So they tend to make a person hyper. 

Take care. 

[bejapuskas]

You can have periods in life when you are reasonably happy and aren't suffering too much, but the existential suffering is inevitable, you cannot run away. 

[Forestluv]

19 hours ago, emind said:

Ultimately what I'm trying to pursue is that calm, peaceful, unperturbed, and confident state you achieve after a really good meditation session. 

Be careful of seeking and chasing. 

[Raptorsin7]

@Serotoninluv Is seeking a way to stop seeking and chasing dynamics the only acceptable form of seeking from a meta/big picture point of view? Or is this still untenable?

[Forestluv]

37 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Serotoninluv Is seeking a way to stop seeking and chasing dynamics the only acceptable form of seeking from a meta/big picture point of view? 

I would say from a meta view, seeking energy is another appearance happening Now. 

Seeking to stop seeking is more seeking. Imo, it's all from the same pile of seeking. It's not necessary a "bad" thing - it is part of the human experience. Yet the mind and body can get so immersed into seeking it can become a distraction and cause distress.

Examples: many people seek a better now. That better now varies from person to person. And within a person it can vary over time. Jack may seek a high-paying job, Suzie may seek healing from childhood trauma. On Tuesday, Marcus may experience seeking energy toward a peaceful state of mind - the next month Marcus may be experiencing seeking the attention of a gal he has a crush on. These are all appearances happening Now, yet they are very alluring and mesmerizes a mind into a story of a "me" character (that has existed in the past and will continue exist into the future). This is a distraction to the presence/awareness of Now. Yet ime, seeking to eliminate seeking is a surface level. That is still oriented toward having a better Now. "If I can get rid of this seeking then I will be happy and peaceful. All "If. . . then. . . " statements are conditional. Now is unconditional. It is where unconditional perfection, love, peace etc. resides. Yet that is not what the person seeks - the person seeks relative perfection, relative love, relative peace etc. in a timeline. . . There is nothing wrong with that - it is part of the human experience. Yet when it gets too intense it becomes distracting to presence/awareness Now and it's distressing to the mind and body.   

Asking if seeking to stop seeking is "acceptable" is part of The Game. "Acceptable" is a relative judgement. Now doesn't care about "acceptable". Peace is present with seeking energy and Peace is present without seeking energy. . . Keep in mind that at the human level, there will always be some level of seeking energy - that is Alive-ness. That is Motion. It can be beautiful. . . And the energetic source of that seeking can differ. One being can be energetically oriented to seek for self-centered motives. Another being can be energetically oriented to experience the majesty of Beingness.  One can observe desires appear and disappear Now.