Removing Should-statements And Eventually Reaching Enlightenment

[JKG]

I already wrote a post about my school day, but closed the window and now the text is day... Maybe thats meant to be... But I had no strong emotional reaction! Good. But now I don't feel like writing it again. Just a few thoughts and insights.

Leaving the Comfort Zone Regularly

You have to get into the flow of leaving the comfort zone multiple times a day to keep up the momentum. The best example is the temperature. When I wake up in the morning and just think of getting into the cold shower... So uncomfortable, I just want to say inside the warm bed. But then I get myself up, into the shower, and then I feel good, proactive, productive, moving forward. Or on a weekend day I am inside studying in the morning. Then when I want to get outside running, after having spent the entire day in the warmth... Horrible. Then when I am running or finish running I feel like I should rather spent the whole day outside, surrounded by fresh air and not inside this warm room without fresh air.

I continuously have to get outside into the cold. Outside of the comfort zone. I need to keep up momentum. Its like physics. You have to bring up energy to move an object higher. Then you have more potential energy inside of the object. But if you stop pushing the object up, gravity will bring it down again. When I stop getting out of the comfort zone the downward spiral will kick in. Humans don't have gravity, but something like homeostasis.

[Gabriel Antonio]

This license plate reminded of you =P

 

[Gabriel Antonio]

22 hours ago, quantum said:

I need to keep up momentum.

I am also building momentum, and I am doing things that are unimaginable. Yet a part of me fears about the time I lose the momentum and get off track.

Living outside of the comfort zone is a lifestyle.

[JKG]

A School Day - 2

Why do I have to go to school? I hate school. I hate it to sit in classes from 8am until 5:30pm around negative people, just waiting for the classes to get over. I could use my time so much more effective. The stuff that I learned there in these 10 classes I could learn at home in less than two hours. It is highly inefficient, a waste of my time, sucks my energy... I will write now to get all these thoughts out of my head - if this is possible just through writing.

I did my usual morning routine. And the negativity started with the breakfast. I not only ate fruit. I also made myself an oat meal. Why? I don't know. Then I remembered that I said to myself yesterday, that I would write down everything I intend to eat before preparing it. Then I thought "shit, I broke the streak. I could..." Then I just let myself go. I already felt kind of bad physically because of the food. I noticed that it would be a day of many negative emotions, wasted time etc. I remembered myself that I will learn more from handling negative situations mindfully, than just reacting...

It started with two useless German lessons. We had no teacher, just a sheet full of tasks. Only 1/3 of the people were there. It was loud in the room. I couldn't concentrate properly. Normally I would have become very annoyed. I still was a little bit annoyed, but I tried to understand those people, use the situation to grow, and still tried to concentrate on the tasks. It was a text about how one's world view changes through using different languages. The topic could be interesting, if I wouldn't Have to do it in school. I could finish the tasks and felt a little bit better because of productivity.

The third class again was useless. We had physical education, the teacher was again away and we had theoretical tasks on how we could improve our volleyball techniques. We just formed groups and did nothing. Very productive! I talked (rather just listened) to a negative "friend" who just complained about all her classes and teachers. I tried to say something encouraging but it wasn't really possible. I tried to continue more German homework but it was so loud.

Then I had English class. The first class of the day with a teacher! We did some listening tasks on a conversation about Shakespeare. I was done with the tasks after listening twice. I had almost everything correct and felt superior to the other students.

Then I had physics class. We compared the homework. The tasks were so stupidly easy and still the majority of the course cannot handle it. Our teacher also complained about the work ethic by some of the students. To my group he came and said that he was really happy about our participation.

The maths class. We continued with analysis, complicated functions, calculating high and low points... Already revision for the final exams. Our teacher also said the topics of the pre-final-exam (exactly in 4 weeks). We literally have to know everything!

In the lunch break I was firstly sitting with my friend at a sitting area alone. We talked (I rather just listened again) but then other people came. We basically stopped taking at all because those people talked all the time about so stupid stupid nonsense. About stupid shit on social media, series, their thousands of "friendships," how stupid they are... The whole time I thought that I was so happy to not be this way. Their life is so meaningless. All they do all days are except form school stuff: meeting friends, gossiping, watching series, social media, preparing for parties, shopping, eating unhealthy food, talking nonsense, using make-up, caring about their look, taking about how bad our school is..........

Then in history class we talked about how the criminals after the second world war got treated. It was okay but not particular interesting. At the end I got so tired.

And then the last classes of the day were social science. Our class was literally the last one in the whole school. But therefore it was better than usual. Our normal teacher got sick and we got a new teacher (happily). She talked a lot about social inequality and injustice and about how the society works. I guess in these two lessons I learned the most of the day.

Then I came home. Ate. Stood in front of my computer. Ate. Felt tired and full. I haven't meditated yet...

Only 8 weeks of school left. I start to get a little bit nervous. The pre-final-exams are in 4 weeks. I have to start studying. I have to learn soo much... I need to change my priorities again. Less productive stuff, more unproductive school stuff. I have so many homework... This will be a good time to start practicing equanimity and build real work ethic. I will need this for university and my life purpose. Tomorrow I will create a plan on when to study and what to study. I need to study and revise regularly and more.

[JKG]

Dreams

I've had some really weird dreams this night. Today I school I somehow remembered them on the toilet and thought "What the fuck was I dreaming??!"

It is an embarrassing dream. But I want to practice radical honesty here on this public journal.

In one dream there were three or six men. It was like on an observer on at a screen. They were talking something and then pulled their pants down and showed their penises... The testicles rather looked like huge swollen tumors with a sausage...

In the second dream I though about the chemistry pre-final-exam. I real life I though that I could look for an old exam in a book which my teacher might use in the actual exam. In the dream she looked inside her book and found a good exam. I got the number of the page and wrote it down. Then my teacher looked at me like she always does when she is shocked and said something like "J, I wouldn't expect you to try to cheat."

And another embarrassing dream I've had in the past (probably in 8th or 9th grade): I've had sex with my maths and class teacher (female). But I cannot remember any details. Afterwards I was so shocked of what my mind things of and was embarrassed. My mind thought that I was a lesbian. At than time I was talking with @Mango1998 about our dreams, but I never revealed to her with teacher it was.

Maybe I am not totally asexual. But not as sexual as normal people. I am somewhere on the ace-spectrum.

[JKG]

"Der Mensch kann nicht tausend Tage ununterbrochen eine gute Zeit haben, so wie die Blume nicht hundert Tage blühen kann." - Tseng-Kuang

Badly translated: "The human being cannot have for a thousand days a good time, like the flower cannot blossom for hundred days in a row."

[JKG]

2 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

Yet a part of me fears about the time I lose the momentum and get off track.

Me too. I fear falling back into not doing self-actualization at all, or not working on my habits at all. I don't want to get into this depressive mood again. I don't want to feel everyday like I did today. I want to feel as good as yesterday.

AAAaaaah, I have to let go of this attachment.

[JKG]

I feel a little bit frustrated. Leo is diving deep into the mystical stuff, becomes much more conscious, studies so much...

I want to do that too. But whats going on in my life? I have to sit around in school. And I have to study chemistry and history. I also want to work on my consciousness and study mysticism. But I just don't have the time for that. I fear than at some point in the future I don't understand what Leo is talking about in his videos, that be becomes too advanced for me.

First things first. First school. Then university. Then Life Purpose. Then Enlightenment. In 20 years I'll be there!

[JKG]

University

Yesterday I talked with my father about that I don't want to study electrical engineering but rather computer science. He was open to it. Now I just have to decide between just computer science with the minor subject electrical engineering (Informatik mit Nebenfach Elektrotechnik), or applied computer science with the application subject electrical engineering (Angewandte Informatik mit Anwendungsfach Elektrotechnik). I really feel that computer science will be the better choice.

 

History

There is so much stuff that I have to learn for this one fucking history final exam. I don't know how I will get all of these data into my mind. I am always happy when I am done with studying history and can continue with chemistry. Chemistry is easier and is more about understanding.

Some stuff that I try to get into my mind at the moment. I wrote this down to look if I know everything that I need to know

Quote

1.9.39 angriff auf polen, inszenierter kriegsgrund
3.9.39 kriegerklärung fr, gb an deutschland
konnten polen aber nicht viel helfen
september-oktober eroberung polens mit sowjetunion
aufteilung polens in deutschen teil, sowjetischen teil und "generalgouvernement"
polen als laboratorium für den verknichtungskrieg
zwangsarbeit, massenexekution, eliminierung der polnischen intelligenz, gettoisierung, unkoodinierte verfolgung jüdischer bevölkerung

machtexpansion 40

april-juni 40 eroberung dänemark, norwegen
mai 40 eroberung niederlande, belgien
juni 40 frankreich, paris

juli 40-juni 41 deutsche luftangriffe/terrorangriffe auf gb, geplante invasion scheiterte
märz 41 deutsche offensive in nordafrika
april 41 dt+it angriff jugoslavien, griechenland

vernichtungskrieg

22.6.41 angriff auf udssr trotz nichtangriffpakt
eroberung großer gebiete
winter 41/42 große verluste im russischen winter
september 41- januar 44 belagerung leningrads, ziel stadt aushungern
6.12.41 russische gegenoffensive vor moskau
wannsee konferenz 21.2.43
übereinkunft über weitere vernichtung der juden, maßnahmen, intensivierung des völkermords
sportpalast rede
aufruf zum totalen krieg, alle waffenfähige männer zwischen 16-60

6.6.41 "kommissar-befehl", ermordung politischer kommissare, funktionäre der sowjetunion
2 mio zwangsarbeiter aus osteuropa, für vernichtungskrieg
unterdrückung, ausbeutung sowjetischer zivilbevölkgerung,
scheiterung wegen schlechter logistik, russischer winter, russischer beharlichkeit
rechtfertigung wegen menschenverachtender ideologie
"lebensraum im osten"
"minderwertige rassen"
viele kriegsgefangene in sowjetunion
kein rückzug->sinnlose verluste eigener soldaten

totaler krieg

winter 42/43 einkesslung der 6. armee von roter armee vor stalingrad
durchbruch an deutscher ostfront
31.1./2.2.43 kapitulation vor stalingrad
sportpalast rede 18.2.43
rede vor nsdap mitglieder, die das deutsche volk repräsentieren sollten, vorbereitung auf den angeblichen endkampf
"volkssturm" mobilisation aller waffenfähigen männer (16-60)
juli 43 beginn sowjetische sommer offensive
4.3.44 gegenoffensive an südlicher ostfront
22.6.44 hautangriff gegen deutsche "heeresgruppe mitte"
12.1.45 sowj truppen bis zur oder
25.4.45 amerikanische und sowjetische truppen treffen sich an torgau/elbe
30.4.45 selbstmord hitler
2.5.45 kapitualtion
9.5.45 unterzeichnung bedingungsloser kapitualtion deutschlands gegenüber udssr

 

Sickness

I feel sick. This morning I woke up and started to cough. And now because of the coughing my throat hurts. And I feel warmer than usual - like a fever warm. The area in the mouth is warmer than usual.

I wasn't sick since a little cold last summer. I wanted to not get sick this entire winter to prove that I am healthier than all the others. But I recognized that I just wanted to prove my superiority. I am just a human being. I am vulnerable, even my immune system.

Sometimes I think that it is nice to be sick. Then I don't have to work out and can just stay at home. But then there is this aspect of not feeling well, being energy-less.

Additionally I slept in. I wanted to just lay down for another minute, then slept in and woke up an hour later at 6:35am. And I just thought "oh shit." I didn't showered cold and just did the visualization. It was a strange morning. I like my morning routine much more.

[Mango1998]

On 9.2.2017 at 8:08 PM, quantum said:

And another embarrassing dream I've had in the past

That´s not embarrassing at all. It´s normal. If you could know what weird dreams I have you wouldn´t think like that

[JKG]

Sickness

It turned out that I have actual fever and a lot of coughing. At 5pm I went into my bed and "meditated" there a bit with interruptions until 8pm.

I remembered the teachings of the Buddha. I am too attached to happiness, feeling good in my body, feeling energetic, getting stuff done... I tried to detach from "feeling good in my body." I felt very warm in many areas of my body. But that was okay. I became relatively happy.

Laying in bed with boredom gives one an opportunity to let the mind wander, kind of like "do nothing." It came up with good ideas:

• There is this one habit that I wanted to implement for a long time now. Mindfulness. Awareness is curative alone. Doing throughout the day little meditations from 1 to 5 minutes before I might indulge in unconscious behavior or when I recognize myself acting unconsciously. That means before I eat or prepare a meal, when I waste time watching stupid videos, when I act hectic... I am currently building rather normal habits. But this mini-meditation habit would be like a keystone habit which will transform many other habits effortless too. I cancel the other habits for now and exchange them with this keystone habit. It would have become too many little ones.
• Everything has a reason in life. This sickness is there to make me conscious of my attachments and that I should act slower, more deliberate, more mindful. I didn't value my health and energy not enough. I am blessed in life. And it can end so quickly.

I couldn't sleep last night. I was so hot. I was like an oven. I just wanted to be able to sleep and be cooler. I couldn't find a comfortable position where I would have gotten too hot or where I wouldn't have shivered. My temperature was at about 40.5 degrees Celsius. Then at 10pm I just took that pill which lowered my temperature to 39 degrees. My bed was still too hot from me, the oven. When I just laid down on my normal floor sleeping place although my parents didn't wanted that. There is was cooler, harder, more comfortable and at about 11:30pm I could finally sleep well until 7:30am. Now my temperature is at 38.4 degrees. I hope I don't have to go to school tomorrow.

I started reading "The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt. What a brilliant book. I just read the introduction and a little bit of the first chapter. In this book it seems like he is answering all the questions that I was curious about with my first Life Purpose idea. I wanted to find ancient wisdom, compare all the sources and try to teach normal people this wisdom to make them more conscious. Well, he does all of that in this book.

I was mindful about whether I wanted to eat and what to eat. I decided for a pretty little oat meal with banana and two apples. It felt good before but then later it didn't felt good at all.

So what will I do today? I could study, I could do personal development stuff, I could meditate, I could go for a little walk or I could waste my time on my computer. I don't know. I will go with the flow. I will listen to my intuition and do mini-meditations.

[Mango1998]

5 hours ago, quantum said:

I could study, I could do personal development stuff, I could meditate, I could go for a little walk or I could waste my time on my computer.

Or you could do nothing

[JKG]

Dropping The Roley You Play - Worksheet

What are the top 3 roles you play?

1. the progressing self-actualizer - this implies also the healthy one, the spiritual one, the productive one, the learner
2. the good student/citizen/member of society
3. the shy, quiet, introverted girl

What are all the specific ways you act out each role?

1. trying to use my time effectively, with useful tasks which bring me forward; working out regularly; meditating regularly and long, progressing towards enlightenment; reading many books and consuming informational products
2. getting good grates; studying a lot for exams; participating in class regularly; doing my homework; acting to most of the norms of society; wanting to be appreciated and accepted; not breaking the law
3. not approaching new people; not trying to build new relationships; not participating much at conversations that I am not interested in; not doing comfort zone challenges (social ones); not asking people for something; not spending much time with other people, rather being on my own; if I have no need to socialize after some time I will get pretty isolated and a bit depressed; I avoid smalltalk...

How did you acquire each role? What traumatic event(s) - if any - created the need for each role?

1. wasting my time in middle school; not being able to control my habits and feeling bad because of it; seeing meaning in self-actualization and improving ones life; gave my life a bit meaning/purpose and something to do, not just sitting in front of the computer all day in my room; being more happy when I see progress
2. my father treated my badly when I got bad grades; I had not much to do at the end of primary school, I distanced myself from friends, so I had something else to do, namely homework and studying; feeling good when I accomplished a good grade and getting appreciation
3. not being able to argue with someone and express my opinion; in 5th to 7th grade I spoke very quiet, so teachers always wanted me to speak louder, but I was embarrassed of it and it strengthened my role; not wanting to participate in conversations, so I got seen by others as shy and quiet

How does each role feed into your sense of being a self?

1. having a purpose and something to do; feeling not "worthless" but meaningful
2. feeling appreciated/socially accepted; security
3. the self wants to hide aspects of it

How are your roles protecting you?

1. without these activities I would get depressed, my life would become nihilistic; it protects me from unhappiness which other people experience on a regular basis;
2. it protects me from negative responses of my family or other people; I can avoid arguments; keeps me from feeling not appreciated
3. showing vulnerability; not showing my true self to other people so I cannot get hurt; avoiding arguments

Which deep psychological needs does playing out each role satisfy?

1. meaning/purpose/something to do; fulfillment
2. appreciation
3. avoiding vulnerability

Which genuine aspects of you is each role suppressing?

1. sometimes I don't want to be so productive, sometimes I just want to be lazy
2. I don't really want
3. I like being social some times; when I feel safe I can act pretty extroverted

Who would you be without these roles?

Detached; "free" to be lazy; more outgoing; showing my true emotions;

How are your roles limiting the growth of your consciousness?

I act a bit fast throughout the day to get a little bit more stuff done. So I am not able to be as mindful. But maybe this is just caused by my hectic parents; I am not able to communicate clearly and really say what I think; I am not able to connect deeply with people; I am not able to be totally present all the time;

How could you be more aware of when you're playing inside a role?

recognizing it, slowing down, meditating for a minute, see the illusory nature of thought, becoming aware of the shortness of life, becoming aware of my higher values/my vision, and that I will not be able to reach my higher goals being attached to those roles

Edited February 13, 2017 by quantum

[Gabriel Antonio]

random comments

15 hours ago, quantum said:

meditations from 1 to 5 minutes before I might indulge in unconscious behavior or when I recognize myself acting unconsciously.

oh yes! this will save your butt!

warning: meditation always makes things better.

 

 

On 2/11/2017 at 8:18 AM, quantum said:

Sometimes I think that it is nice to be sick.

totally. i dunno how i'm gonna meditate for 4 hours if i get sick. thank god i take lots of vitamin c (papaya, lemon [yes, RAW!] and dragonfruit). also, lots of coconut, which contains lauric acid -- boost your immune system! and finally i eat a piece of raw ginger every single. no flu!

4 hours ago, quantum said:

not participating much at conversations that I am not interested in

I run away from shallow conversations.

 

15 hours ago, quantum said:

I am too attached to happiness, feeling good in my body, feeling energetic

i totally relate to that. i have been room and a part of me desperately wants to go outdoors to feel better. "chill out, homie!" I say to myself

On 2/10/2017 at 4:02 AM, quantum said:

Then university

skip that. not important.

 

On 2/9/2017 at 5:11 PM, quantum said:

"The human being cannot have for a thousand days a good time, like the flower cannot blossom for hundred days in a row."

in buddhism, they say we have 10000 joys and 10000 sorrows.

 

5 hours ago, quantum said:

without these activities I would get depressed, my life would become nihilistic

hahaha totally!!

[JKG]

7 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

oh yes! this will save your butt!

warning: meditation always makes things better.

@Gabriel Antonio I got that idea from you

 

7 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

thank god i take lots of vitamin c (papaya, lemon [yes, RAW!] and dragonfruit). also, lots of coconut, which contains lauric acid -- boost your immune system! and finally i eat a piece of raw ginger every single. no flu!

Jealous. I put ginger sometimes in my smoothie

 

7 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

On 10.2.2017 at 7:02 AM, quantum said:

Then university

skip that. not important.

Not necessarily. When I want to pursue my life purpose within the domain of computer science or artificial intelligence university will be useful. I will be forced to study and can learn much more than when I just study at home. I also will be able to get a job for a while, then build contacts and then have better chances to build my business. And it also gives me security. You still have to think realistically and strategically.

 

[JKG]

Sickness

I couldn't sleep well this night. I slept for about an hour and woke up at 11:30pm because I had to go to the toilet. Then I tried to fall asleep again but it just didn't worked. I wasn't tried enough to fall asleep. So I spent my time doing nothing and thinking, listening to music and singing with my sick voice, dabbling around on the forum and internet, and once in a while trying to meditate and do some of the enlightenment exercises. Then at about 2am I could finally fall asleep again.

But the sleep wasn't restful. I woke up again and again. Then at about 7:30am I got up. I took a shower. That felt good. Finally being clean again and not full of sweet, oily hair and stinking.

Now it is the third day, but it doesn't seem like it is going to become better. This morning I had again 39.7 degrees Celsius. About every 8 hours I have to take "Iboprofen" so that my temperature doesn't rise above 40 degrees and can cause damage. I also take cough syrup. My grandmother made me a natural one. She took a big purple onion, cut it and put sugar into it. It doesn't taste too bad. I just smell like a lot like onion.
And my nose is occupied my mucous. And I start to get hayfever - thats what I hate about spring.

I don't appreciate my health and good sleep that I normally have. And my youth. I might not be forever young, healthy and energetic - but I will take care of my health a lot in the future. I want to go outside and go running again! I want to feel energetic again!

Normally when I got sick in the past, I always had something with my throat. I think I now know why. My throat chakra is blocked.

 

Isolation

This night my mind thought about social contacts. Now, just after three days of no social contact outside of my family, I already feel a bit isolated and get this slightly depressed feeling. I somehow want to go to school again to get social contact. But when I think about that only 8 weeks of school are left... For a while then I will have to study a lot and will most likely again have almost no social contact outside of my family. And if it goes badly, this will be this way until the begin of university, in September or October.

I am scared about this fact that I might get this depressed feeling again. I have no real friends with whom I meet often.

I need to find something social to do in that time.

 

Enlightenment

Quote

Exercise #12: Noticing The External World Doesn't Exist

Sit comfortably and quietly, still your mind, and become aware of direct experience.

Notice that you have an notion of "external reality" -- a world "out there" beyond "me".

Notice that this is literally a story, or a thought, or a mental image.

Notice that in fact you've NEVER experienced a world beyond direct experience.

Notice that there is in fact ZERO evidence of an external world.

Notice that any ideas or justifications you have for the existence of an external world are merely thoughts!

Now -- here's a doozy -- notice that you actually DO have a direct experience of absolute reality.

That direct experience is.... NOTHING!

So the external world exists as... literally NOTHING!

Become deeply conscious of this until your old paradigm of a physical external world breaks down.

I did this exercise yesterday. And that is really strange. It makes my mind go a bit crazy, especially this night. A sound is just a sound. I just imagine where the sound comes from. I hear a bird, but there is just the sound of the bird,  I cannot see the bird, and my mind comes up with an image where the sound comes from. External reality is a thought. Some times I just didn't cared about the external circumstances, there was just perception.

[JKG]

Sickness - Day 4

This night I could sleep very well. I didn't wake up at all and could sleep through unlike the last nights. As I woke up I was full of sweet.

I just was at the doctor. In the waiting room I observed all those old sick people. I will never end like that. If they would just eat healthy...

My lungs seem okay, my tonsils are not swollen, nor my ears. And I won't go to school the whole week.

Everyday seems like the same. Everyday I do the same. Everyday I feel the same. Every later afternoon I begin to shiver, go into bed, wait until its evening. And every evening I hope that I can sleep well....

Yesterday evening I even listened to an audio play. In my childhood I listened to many many audio plays. I listened to an episode of "Die drei Fragezeichen" / "die drei ???" (in English "the three investigators"). There are three guys who are detectives and try to solve mysterious cases. It remembered me of my childhood. But I analyzed the psyches of the three guys and how each of the episodes is build. Pretty lame. 

I just want to be healthy again!!!

 

Dreams

Somehow I can remember my dreams now better.

Yesterday I had a weird dream. I was riding with my father mountain bikes. He was on mine and I was on his bike. And we drove over something that looked like a graveyard just without graves. But in my mind I remembered that we left my sister and my cousin back alone. And I thought that my cousin could die because he is so little - but in reality he is already 5 years old.
Then we arrived at a shower area?!?! And we tried to shower there. But I didn't want to see my father naked. But the showers didn't work and we had to ask an employee there...

This morning I also remembered a dream, but now its gone...

 

The Dark Side Of Meditation

Because of boredom I listened to that video again yesterday evening. I recognized that I already have some of those things. Like the weird dreams or hyper judgmentalism. And I feel like I don't want to do those enlightenment exercises anymore because they drive my mind crazy.

 

School

Yesterday I finally made myself a studying plan for my final and pre-final exams. I kind of panicked because it is so much, especially in history. For Maths and English I will only start a week earlier. But for History it is so much, and Chemistry seems okay.

When I don't have to go to school anymore I will study each day for 5 hours, from 9-12am and 4-6pm. But as long as I have school it will be about 2 hours each day, except from Monday and Thursday because then I have school until 5:30pm.

Yesterday I started revise chemistry stuff that we have done 1.5 years ago - electrochemistry. I was surprised that I was able to remember so much. If all of that works so well in terms of chemistry I will not have to study that much.

And I already have to catch up with school stuff from this week...

 

I will study now as long as I feel okay. And hay fever is annoying.

[JKG]

Eurovision Songcontest

It makes me nostalgic and kind of happy/excited to listen to these songs again. Its strange to remember myself as a 10 year old watching it with my mother. I always wanted to be able to understand what these people were singing there in English.

And my mother just showed my the song for Italy this year. After listening to it like 10 times I am in love with that song. It makes my mood so great while the fever comes back again. I like the title and parts of the lyrics - as much as I understand it.

 

 

And this made me pretty emotional.

 

[Gabriel Antonio]

Strangest thing: I got a fever. #WeCoexist 

[JKG]

7 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

Strangest thing: I got a fever. #WeCoexist 

Get well.

Edited February 15, 2017 by JKG