Weakness in a man

[Forestluv]

The deeper levels for me include personalities, yet go much deeper than personalities. The basic necessities to start off are mutual support, willingness to be vulnerable and a desire to grow, both individually and together. Importantly, there is a sense of us. Not me and her, us. This us is like a third entity in the relationship and it’s magical. It’s spontaneous, free, joyful and loving. It can be mystical. It’s so intimate that each of us loses touch with time and “me”. We are like two parts of one organism. It’s like being in a flow state together. For me, it’s been rare and these moments have been fleeting.. . . It’s so pure and I live for that yep of stuff. Now I can’t be in a relationship without it. To get there, I have to be willing to open up and allow her to enter my inner realms. That can be a big risk. With each level deeper, there is more power and there is a risk she uses that to her advantage. This is why mutual support, mutual vulnerability and trust is so important. In many relationships, I desired to reach these experiences levels quickly and I opened up and allowed her entry early on. I was naive and got manipulated in ways I couldn’t have imagined. After deep hurt, I would respond by putting up enormous barriers and protect those inner layers. Yet being on the surface and going through the motions is so painful for me. I have a yearning to go deeper. I can no longer do those types of relationships. Now, I screen the best I can. When that “it” is present, I’m willing to open my heart and go for it. . . . The last gal I dated, there was that transcendent we. That magic. Yet it scared her and she told me she couldn’t continue. There is deep sorrow in that loss, yet joy and sorrow are two sides of the same coin. The deeper I go with joy, the deeper I go with sorrow. Yet it’s sorta a beautiful form of sorrow. 

[Preety_India]

@Serotoninluv  you are fortunate to have experienced such a joy. 

I experienced it too and also the sorrow

Once that happens everything changes 

 

 

[Parththakkar12]

@Serotoninluv I'm in a similar situation with similar relationship goals to be honest. I'm happy for you that you're in a place in your life where you can actually date around to find this dream inter-dependent conscious relationship you're describing! I'm in the visualizing stages right now. I probably need a life purpose first in order to be able to sustain a conscious connected relationship. In fact, being in the kind of conscious attachment you're describing wasn't possible for me cuz of my wage-slavery! I could find conscious people to socialize with. But, I couldn't have them seriously conclusively enter my life cuz of personal struggles. Anyways.

Have you looked into Teal Swan's material? She could be just what you're looking for in terms of help creating this sort of conscious personal life, and helping you resolve the threshold guardians that come in your way so to speak.

If you don't mind me asking you, what exactly was your last ex afraid of?

[Forestluv]

On 12/14/2019 at 1:57 AM, Parththakkar12 said:

@Serotoninluv

If you don't mind me asking you, what exactly was your last ex afraid of?

This is just my impression. . . She is a single mother raising two children on her own. One of her boys is a special needs child. Some of the places we were exploring together were new frontiers and groundless. My sense is that she felt like she was being pulled away from her reality with her two kids. I was super disappointed, yet respected that and wished her well. We are still in occasional contact as friends. 

[mandyjw]

@Serotoninluv Oof. I've experienced how motherhood kills your ego, and yet becomes it at the same time. It can sometimes be difficult to be around people who don't know what it's like to have to be "on call" 24/7. Just typing this response so far I've been interrupted by my kids twice.  It's hard to integrate your kids into your spiritual journey at some points and sometimes feels like you have to choose between them. Luckily you don't, but it can be hard to see that sometimes. Sorry it didn't work out. 

[Parththakkar12]

@Serotoninluv Was she a self-sacrificing mom? Did you pick up on regrets about having kids or the sense that she didn't really want them? I'm asking about this cuz if she genuinely wanted to have her kids, connecting with you wouldn't get in the way of her situation with her kids! Maybe she could've brought her kids in when connecting with you. (Imagine creating that kind of a family tho!)

When a single mom is able to find connection with a man / masculine support, that's almost always good for the kids.

Edited December 16, 2019 by Parththakkar12