Goals

[Amandine]

I'm going to use this journal to track my Goals.

Goal #1: drink less wine (1/2 bottle of wine per day maximum).

I don't want to abstain altogether, I live in France, lol. 

Over the last couple of years, I've gradually become dependent on wine as a tool to relax.

I think on average these days I drink around 3/4 of a bottle a day. 

I would like to evolve more as a person, become more enlightened, so I think this first step of cutting down on my alcohol intake is definitely the most logical place to start.

Edited December 13, 2019 by Amandine

[Amandine]

Day 1 went well, I achieved my goal for today.

 

Edited December 13, 2019 by Amandine

[zeroISinfinity]

I like drinking wine too. Not addicted but for lunch I like glass of fine wine. Dunno is that Just Euro thing. 

[DrewNows]

I’d suggest throwing in some meditation practice, but even more beneficial might be meditating or being conscious while you have your wine. Thought is the creator of the addictions, fears, shames, worries and meditation can cure all by giving yourself the power back, accepting responsibility, this is self love 
 

25 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

I like drinking wine too. Not addicted but for lunch I like glass of fine wine. Dunno is that Just Euro thing. 

But if you like pina colada? ? haha joking but yes I think that must be a euro thing, interesting 

Edited December 12, 2019 by DrewNows

[Amandine]

On 12/12/2019 at 3:53 PM, DrewNows said:

I’d suggest throwing in some meditation practice

That'll be Goal #2

Edited December 14, 2019 by Amandine

[Amandine]

Another good day, achieved goal.?

Edited December 13, 2019 by Amandine

[Amandine]

Goal #1: drink less wine (1/2 bottle of wine maximum per day).

3-day streak underway ?
 

 

Edited December 15, 2019 by Amandine

[Lynnel]

@Amandine

In case you're not a troll I would encourage you to take this issue way more seriously.

Like set a more powerful goal such as drinking only once per week or something.

There isn't much difference between being a hardcore alcoholic and a medium one - it's just the speed at which you decay. I hope you stop decaying all together.

[Amandine]

@Lynnel

Don't judge me, you are not being helpful.

If I decide to make my next goal one glass a day, or one glass a week, or no alcohol at all, that'll be in the future.

Right now, the 1st goal I'm "dealing with" is half a bottle a day, sorry if it's not enough for you. 

I also advise you to read the guidelines that @Leo Gura has set out, before you comment on people's Journals.

"Keeping a public journal of your struggles and triumphs can be very powerful. You are also encouraged to be brutally honest about your struggles. Document things exactly as they occur for your, without any sugar-coating or self-censorship. This is extra-powerful. Here are some ideas for themes you could start a journal around: Your struggle to overcome an addiction like food, sex, porn, alcohol, or drugs"

Edited December 15, 2019 by Amandine

[wesyasz]

I think Lynnel was just trying to be helpful

[Amandine]

Feeling discouraged right now.

Edited December 15, 2019 by Amandine

[Amandine]

Don't bother coming back. 

You're both a waste of time.

 @Lynnel  @wesyasz

Edited December 15, 2019 by Amandine

[wesyasz]

You drink everyday. This is alcoholism. Sometimes saying truth straight into face is best intention and out of love.

If you don't want any input from other people why do you write journal which is public?

6 minutes ago, Amandine said:

Thanks @Lynnel for stopping by to read my Self-Actualization Journal, but don't bother returning.

I was doing ok til you left me that mean comment on my Goals page.

Nothing to do with Lynnel here.

[zeroISinfinity]

@Amandine You are perfect as you are. Don't give a fuck what anyone say. 

You are amazing. 

They project their own BS onto you just shrug it off. 

Edited December 15, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[Amandine]

@zeroISinfinity I love you right now. 

Edited December 16, 2019 by Amandine

[Consilience]

I think the small goal is a great idea. Sometimes cold turkey isn’t what’s best when it comes to addiction or habits. The mind transforms and reprograms itself slowly overtime. Sure cold turkey or dramatic changes can work... but these also can create strong ego backlashes that end up being worse than the original problem. When/if you’re ready to stop, you’ll stop. For now progress is progress, so great job, seriously  

Personally, Ive gone through extremely long periods of heavy weed use, which I classify as addict status. But over time Im cutting back. Ive known quitting cold turkey isn’t what I wanted because there’s value I get out of the substance. But with cutting back, Ive been able to slowly transform my relationship with the substance. Instead of smoking everyday, I eventually want to smoke once per week possibly even once a month. Similar to your goals here, my strategy has been baby steps and gradual change. So far it’s worked!

Anyways, looking forward to reading more of your journal! +1 to goal number 2 being some kind of meditation or maybe yoga practice ??

[Raptorsin7]

@Amandine Don't worry about people telling you what you SHOULD do. You know what you should do, and more importantly you know you what you can do right now. The long term goal is to quit alcohol or at least reduce the amount a lot. Keep it up you can do it.

[Raptorsin7]

@Lynnel @wesyasz Imagine someone commenting on your meditation journal and belittling you because you aren't meditating long enough. "Wow you're only doing 10 minutes you aren't going to make any major changes doing only 10 minutes, you need to do minimum an hour to notice real benefits. Might as well not meditate at all". All you're doing here is hurting her chance of being successful.

[Amandine]

@Consilience @Raptorsin7  Thank you both of you so much, I'm really touched by your warm, kind words, they've made my day and cheered me up again.  

Seing the harsh comment of  @Lynnel at the end of the day really upset me, especially as I'd actually spent all my time yesterday helping and encouraging others. I'm a bit naive but I don't understand how people can be so mean sometimes. Was he trying to make me feel guilty, ashamed of myself? I'm hoping meditation will at least help me develop a thicker skin.

Starting a goal with a 'half bottle of wine limit' might seem frivolous (and amusing) to some, but my objective was to gradually taper down to zero alcohol, but in my own time.

I just like the taste of a fine wine, here in the South of France having an aperitif is such a banal, everyday occurence. 

I'm new to all this self-actualizing but am very serious, sincere and motivated, I'm someone with very strong will power, who doesn't like to be dependent on anything.

Discovering Leo's videos recently by accident, and then this site, has opened up a whole new world to me that I didn't know existed. Incredibly fascinating but admittedly so scary at the same time.

I have decided now to stop alcohol as from today and replace it with 20 minutes of daily meditation, gradually doubling or tripling that over time. I've never done it before, so it'll be interesting. 

Goal #2: meditation (20 minutes per day minimum).

@Raptorsin7 By the way, I really enjoy reading your Journals which are so honest, inquisitive and so interesting, I learn a lot from them, and your personality shines through. I also love your warm replies to various people on this forum, I adore the questions you ask too and your curiosity about things in general. You always put things so clearly, which helps a newbie like me. I (almost) always understand what you're saying and asking, which isn't my case for everyone here, ha. 

@ConsilienceI love you sharing that with me, I'll be thinking of you over the next few days when its gets tough, knowing that you're going through the same process. 

Wishing you both the very best on your journeys. And thank you once again for your support and encouragement, I needed it, so really appreciate it! It's actually thanks to you two and the solidarity yesterday from @zeroISinfinitythat I want to progress now to goal #2. Watch this space! 

Edited December 16, 2019 by Amandine

[Amandine]

No wine today, and don't miss it at all

During my meditation, I hear my husband open the fridge to fetch himself a glass of wine, but not jealous or FOMA 

Fed the cat first so that he wouldn't be on the scrounge, sashaying back and fore whipping my face with his tail 

 

My 1st ever Meditation (20 mins)

So, I showed up! Leo says that's the main thing 

At my desk in front of my computer

Not at all sure what to expect, I have done no research beforehand apart from watching Leo's "Meditation for Beginners" this morning, which was great

Google "timer" displaying 20' on screen

Body felt relaxed (though breathing could be deeper, will have to improve that) 

Not too many distracting thoughts or worries

Bit anxious the cat was going to bother me, not having seen me sitting so still for so long before 

Felt quite relaxed and comfortable

Felt pleasant "I can do this every day!"

Trying to control things a bit but not too much

Not worrying about being perfect

If I yawned or scratched or moved, it was ok for now (though did keep my eyes closed throughout, up to the half-way point, see below)

Saw a lot of purple colour behind my eyes, felt this was good

Just went with the purple colour, which was something to "focus" on and thus probably help to stop me thinking less

The purple was like a nice big splodge of colour in front of my eyes, and sometimes "swirling" 

Then suddenly in a flash everything went pitch black in an abrupt click of a finger

Startled, my heart beating faster, I opened my eyes  in panic

Only to find that it was only the lit-up computer screen in front of me going to sleep and blackening out, phew!

Resumed my meditation, amazed to have noticed on the timer that 10 minutes had already gone by

Purple colours came back, not sure what they are

The last 10 minutes went by calmy and smoothly

Just worried towards the end how much time was left and whether the google timer was set too loud and was going to jolt me out of my pleasant calmness

 

 

Edited December 16, 2019 by Amandine