Help!!! I cannot quit porn

[Name]

I make a few nice streaks,like 10-90 days,then binge binge binge,then I get my shit together,make a good streak again and binge binge binge.

and so on over and over again.

I feel stuck in this cycle,it's not even rational,I always trick myself into relapsing.

I meditate everyday and do cold showers but still relapse,especially when I am alone.

Please tell me a good tehnique to get rid of it.

I feel desperate.

I want to self actualize but I cannot with this addiction.

Please guys,tell me the solution,porn brainwashed me,I though that I'm done with this shit when I was at 90 days but I just binged and feel stuck again.

How do I deal with this?

Please I beg you,I am willing to do any kind of meditation,anything,just help me to get rid of this addiction and stay sober!!!!

I watch porn since was 10 and cannot quit(I'm 20 now)

I don't want to be 21 and still addicted,I want to enjoy life!!!!!

[Ananta]

On 12/11/2019 at 10:35 AM, Name said:

I make a few nice streaks,like 10-90 days,then binge binge binge,then I get my shit together,make a good streak again and binge binge binge.

and so on over and over again.

I feel stuck in this cycle,it's not even rational,I always trick myself into relapsing.

I meditate everyday and do cold showers but still relapse,especially when I am alone.

Please tell me a good tehnique to get rid of it.

I feel desperate.

I want to self actualize but I cannot with this addiction.

Please guys,tell me the solution,porn brainwashed me,I though that I'm done with this shit when I was at 90 days but I just binged and feel stuck again.

How do I deal with this?

Please I beg you,I am willing to do any kind of meditation,anything,just help me to get rid of this addiction and stay sober!!!!

I watch porn since was 10 and cannot quit(I'm 20 now)

I don't want to be 21 and still addicted,I want to enjoy life!!!!!

I felt like this when I smoked and vaped...I could not stop. No matter how much I wanted to I just couldn't. 

Finally, I got an overwhelming desire to quit and did cold turkey. That was 3 yrs ago. If you cant do cold turkey and stick with it, then put yourself on a "moderate " schedule and stick with it as best you can, until you can quit. Doing it in moderate amounts will reduce some pressure from the psyche.

[Sleyker]

Don't be too hard on yourself bro, you're still pretty young and I'm sure you will quit, just don't beat yourself up for that. 

I'm 21 and also have porn issues. I've tried and failed many times just like you and right now I'm at a point where I don't pay attention to my streaks or relapses, dwelling on that just doesn't help.

I just try to focus on my goals, create a good life for myself and eventually I know I won't watch porn anymore. Trust yourself that you will do it but don't expect to quit with a magic technique, it'll take time. 

 

[Arcangelo]

Humanity is gonna be in serious trouble once that VR porn comes up.

[BHARATH]

External approach

1.Use porn blocker extension 

2.keep your youtube on Restriction mode ( Seminude (dangerous than porn) scenes on youtube triggers urge to watch porn)

3. Train your RAS to focus on Nonsexual things and objects in Real world (porn addicts perceives/thinks/projects most things they see in a  real world as sex object) with positivity

Internal approach

1. Meditate (observe your Emotions)

2. listen to positive music (instrumentals recommended) and Be in a positive enviroinment

3. Bypass that critical point (strong urge) By feeling the emotions fully and feel that pain

4. make note of your Excuses if you fail at first attempt (everyone fails , no need to worry,but keep going) and become concious of it.

     This much is enough  to Eliminate  if you do it properly and honestly.

     let me know the results after a month (30days)

[Sleyker]

17 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

Humanity is gonna be in serious trouble once that VR porn comes up.

It's already avalaible 

[Leeeon]

Whats wrong with masturbation?

[Thought Art]

For me, I've read some books on developing healthy sexuality and I think its all about moderation and balance. Perhaps, still talking to a therapist or councillor could help if you have deep seated issues like loneliness etc. 

Not a doctor, but I do not recommend celibacy. We are sexual being in my opinion.

For me, I really struggled to do no fap. Though cutting down from 2-3 times a day I think was really healthy. I now have the goal for 5  times a month. Before it was LIKE IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO FAP AHHHH.  I found that in my daily journal having a record of the faps I could reflect on helped.  I actually think I had a specific note file on my phone.I would record the faps, and whether it was with or without porn. I began Setting goals that I thought were healthy. starting at 15 faps a month, then 10, then 5. For me I think that 5 faps a month really helped me to break free from porn and masterbation being  unhealthy. And lately I don't record it because I think I've developed a healthy habit. Some months I would go over, but because I had a record I can take note of the things going on in my life both internal and external.

EDIT: Also having a set amount of matches to burn was great, and even if I went over my 5 matches would reset every month so I wouldn't have to worry about going like, 90 days not expressing a natural urge.

Ultimately, I wouldn't worry about it. Keep working toward finding that middle path in your life, and remember that Self Love trumps pretty much every other habit. And I am finding it to be the thing that allows the real development of a healthy life. 

Edited December 13, 2019 by Thought Art

[Javfly33]

@Name Probably this is not what you want to hear, but I'll tell it to you anyway because it's coming from love:

Why do you want to quit porn?

With this question I don't intent to actually say that porn can not be prejudicial, I'm just saying the most accurate can you answer this question, the more close you will be to actually transcending your porn addiction.

Be very cautious how you are answering this question. Seriously question yourself your beliefs and what porn means to you in your life.

This is not philosophy, I have been trying to quit porn until I recently realized I was bullshitting myself. Is only by this that I've actually started to free myself with porn. Not with force hardmode abstaining s with 0 retrospection and total projection of "porn is the thing to eliminate in my life and the rest is fine".

If you want to success in this you need to be smart.

[Adodd]

On 12/11/2019 at 10:35 AM, Name said:

Please tell me a good tehnique to get rid of it.

I feel desperate.

I want to self actualize but I cannot with this addiction.

 

First off, never say you "can't"?(you can). You are only going to convince yourself you are right. 

I am so proud of you for being able to go so long without it! That is an accomplishment! STOP being discouraged about the occasional relapse and instead be proud of yourself for what you HAVE accomplished! Smile about it, you're doing great! (Most people don't even attempt to quit so you're already doing better than most.) 

Leo has a great video on the root cause of addiction and even gives a useful exercise on how to quit. I highly recommend watching it.

Beating addiction is tough. It takes perseverance. You will have good days and you will have bad days. On the bad days, when you are really struggling, is when the most growth happens. 

Also man, at 20 years old it is a lot tougher. Your testosterone is going crazy and it's tough to control. Keep on going. I believe in you.

[Nahm]

It seems like the thinking “I have a porn addiction”...and so “I need to quit porn” is perfectly logical, and I guess it is. But when scrutinized, there is no such thing as the absence of a thing, so technically “quitting porn” is still focusing on the thinking about porn. Likewise, “addiction” reinforces the sense of “me”, and the ego strongholds onto that sense of “me” to make it real, which it is not. So that adds another layer of still thinking about the porn, just flipping it to the identity as the one who has ‘the addiction’. 

Another course of thought, is since everything is changing anyways...just slowly but surely, change what you do with your time to something else. 

Preferably, a dream board full of things you actually want. Very soon, if not immediately, you’ll know, and be ‘doing’ a handful of things you want more than porn. A day will come where you literally won’t be able to remember what “addicted to porn” actually felt like, because you’ll have expanded consciousness by letting the old thought relationship, attachment, and identity, go. You’ll be feeling so good all the time, that you won’t even really have time for something you actually like less, than what you’re doing with your life. The life’s dream you are creating. There’s no better feeling than lost in love with reality.

In that light, it’s almost as if at present, you’ve made an enemy of reality. Something to strive & strife against - rather than change.

[Loving Radiance]

4 minutes ago, Nahm said:

letting the old thought relationship, attachment, and identity, go.

Is 'letting go' practiced by focussing on 'doing' something else? Could it be the process towards a want or achievement/fulfillment/realization of it that means expansion and thus letting go?

[Igor82]

Yes, its important to not think about porn all the time. What worked for me is indentifying what needs im satisfying with porn. For me it is:

• A sense of connection and a fulfillment of my need  for physical touch
• An intimate moment with the feminine essence
• To see and relate to how the feminine moves to ecstasy
• An easy attempt to have a spiritual experience

The trick is to not focus on quitting porn, but rather focus on satisfying your needs that porn is currently satisfying for you. Experiment! Go to some tantra yoga event and do some physical touch with people or some eyegazing, and see if that cools you off. For me Ive met an amazing woman that satisfies all of my needs above, and so I dont feel the need to watch porn anymore. And if I do watch porn, its because im deficent in these needs, and if I relapse, thats okay, because I know that if I just satisfy these needs I will not think about porn!

We are not wired to watch porn. I believe that if we satisfy all those needs that makes us crave sexual satisfaction then we will not crave to ejaculate or watch porn, furthermore I believe that ejaculation for men is a conscious choise and not a need. Just as giving your greatest gifts to the world is your conscious choice and not your need.

What also helps for me is to practise some taoist techniques, that will give you a way out of having to ejaculate all the time. Get out there, find a girl, or get your needs met in some other healthy way.

Remember, if you are still thinking about porn, you wont be able to quit it, those thoughts will attract porn sooner or later. And those thoughts will only go away if your needs that porn currently fills is satisfied in another (healthy) manner.

[Red-White-Light]

@Name You just need to suffer that pain of discipline, there's no other way. 

[Nahm]

53 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

Is 'letting go' practiced by focussing on 'doing' something else?

It’s just about one thought. That’s it. Letting one thought go. We’re only ever working with one thought. The one thought arising right now. Regardless of it’s content or implication, Regardless of where it is on the script, or what it implies about the movie - it is one single thought, now. That’s the entirety of human thinking. One thought, now.  No size, no shape, no levels, no form or properties at all. Just an impartial micro-essence that comes & goes. Seems to anyways.

It’s funny to imagine God saying just one single thought at a time, there’s no way that could get out of hand.  And it’s like giving a kid a flint pebble and he burns half the city down. 

Letting one thought go, we’re liberated of reaction to it, free to put attention on a thought that feels good, one about what we want. Feeling always delivers. What feels good to you + your attention on it naturally leads to more. Somethin’s gonna happen next anyways, mind as well be conscious of it.  Also feel free to let thought go all together, and just be, eventually these are known as one in the same.

The wind doesn’t require a blower, choice doesn’t require a chooser, ‘doing’ doesn’t require a doer. Reality is unconditional in regards to creation, and yet there is a source. All we see are parts, yet we don’t see any parts, ever. Use feeling & awareness  to feel each thought. Apply the source, to the thoughts, and the extraordinary is revealed in perception (and of course feeling). Nothing is needed of you for that, nor do you need anything for that. Let go of one thought 24/7, stomach breathing is great too. It’s inherently a conscious body scan. 

In the momentum of letting one thought go, new thought arises with more connection to feeling, like intuition. With more letting one thought go, new ways of seeing arise with perception. 

 

Changing a pattern, or the thought choice pattern, little by little is one way to become conscious of a habit. Then it’s no longer a habit. Arguably preferable if the habit has been made into a mountain, if there is already moment of thought-marriage. Some rip the band aid off, and some peel it slow, both converge at consciousness. 

53 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

Could it be the process towards a want or achievement/fulfillment/realization of it that means expansion and thus letting go?

There is no process towards a want. The end result is being used as a condition to happiness while on the journey.

Nothing needs to be done. Want is automatically felt, derived from unwanted, from experience. We are creation, experiencing, creating, expanding. You’d have to admit, the playground of choice is vast. Preferences naturally arise. There’s so much to create.

To wait to let go, is to unconsciously create - the experience of waiting. ??

Precisely when one entertains they’re  ‘unconsciousness’, there is the realization of consciousness. 

There isn’t an object which is absolutely a certain way. What it is is what you’re thought, perception & feeling is allowing. 

[Bill W]

First thing is to realise porn is not the real problem. Masturbating is not the real problem. You have a spiritual malady. 

In fact, it may even be pointless working directly on the porn as it will just be replaced with something equally as problematic for you until the spiritual malady is addressed. 

And you can definitely still work on actualization and development while battling the porn issue, do don't give yourself that excuse that all your progress is ground to a halt and you are are at the complete mercy of your addiction. That's you (I do it as well) giving yourself a nice Get Out of Jail Free card as a reason to not work on other areas of your life. 

You have the desire to quit but the desire doesn't have the required power to materialise. 

[Loving Radiance]

@Nahm

 

29 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Changing a pattern, or the thought choice pattern, little by little is one way to become conscious of a habit. Then it’s no longer a habit. Arguably preferable if the habit has been made into a mountain, if there is already moment of thought-marriage. Some rip the band aid off, and some peel it slow, both converge at consciousness.

@Name I get the hunch that this is especially for you.

Edited December 17, 2019 by Loving Radiance

[Austin Actualizing]

Best way is to just purchase porn blocking software. 

[Arcangelo]

On 12/13/2019 at 2:21 PM, Sleyker said:

It's already avalaible 

Yeah, but from what i heard is not complete, it is still not as perfect as they are gonna make it. We already have fake rubber vaginas sold on the internet, and masturbators. They are prolly gonna find a way to plug the VR to the masturbator or to a plastic doll. That's the VR porn i am referring to. I quit porn a long time ago, like about a year ago. Leo's self deception series and the 30 ways society fucks you in the ass videos helped a LOT to bring awareness about how pathetic it is to watch porn. The only way i would watch porn is with a girl by my side. It will be like an instructional/educational video, is not gonna be a replacement for a real life partner.

It's only gonna get worse, in the distant future we are gonna have sex droids for sure. But that's not gonna be considered porn. It will be called robot sex or something.

Oh man I was truly addicted to porn during my 20s. I would be late to work and to classes because porn was consuming a lot of my time. During my 30s i wasn't that addicted but still watched lots of porn. Now i am porn free, i do every now and then get the itch to watch it but i don't. I know is not gonna get me anywhere, i know those are not real girls, they are just pixels. Basically i understood that the map is not the territory.

I also heard about guys that could not have an erection w/o porn, that scared the shit out of me, so i stopped.

It's one of my accomplishments in life that i am very proud of.

If i could do it anyone can do it.

Check it out

Minute 3:16 and minute 3:19

 

41 minutes ago, Austin Actualizing said:

Best way is to just purchase porn blocking software. 

I disagree 100% as actualizers we gotta be able to control ourselves.

 

I hope i didn't offend anyone. I apologize in advance if i did.

 

 

 

 

 

It's evolution baby!

 

Arc

[RawJudah]

It’s hard but...

Get rid of ALL screens. 
 

No screens - no porn.