How to have good sex, erection problem

[Eyal Bor]

Hey guys,

I've been getting into pick up lately and I've been getting pretty good results, I feel much more confident in approaching, talking, escalating, until I'm in bed with the girl. 

I dont have huge amounts of experience in bed (I'm 24), lately almost every time when I'm putting the condom on, my erection disappears. I think it has a lot to do with the pressure I put to myself to perform well since the girls I date since I started pick up are much prettier and hotter.

The first two girls I ever was with were not super hot, had no pressure and no problems having an erection.

So my question is: how to have great sex? I mean, if i just dont worry about it, dont push myself, I go back into a soft, nice guy not very dominant kind of sex, just the way I used to do it, but when I try to take control,I guess I get a bit nervous because I'm pushing my comfort zone but I end up losing my erection. ? 

Since there have been many new girls, getting to know them better and being more intimate definately helps, but, is there a way to perform well without needing to be super intimate from the beginning? Connecting only from our sexual parts and not our emotional on necessarily?

Maybe my sexuality is a bit repressed, specially the dominant part? (I used to be a nice guy, and I have a soft dad). Maybe I need emotional connection for getting erections, feeling safe on showing that part of me? 

Any tips?

Are there any books on how to have great sex?

Thank you so much.

[Shin]

You can have orgasms that will make you look at your current orgasms as big jokes  

https://www.amazon.com/Multi-Orgasmic-Man-Sexual-Secrets-Should-ebook/dp/B000FC12XM/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+multiorgasmic+man&qid=1575900023&sr=8-1

[Shin]

You can have orgasms that will make you look at your current orgasms as big jokes  

https://www.amazon.com/Multi-Orgasmic-Man-Sexual-Secrets-Should-ebook/dp/B000FC12XM/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+multiorgasmic+man&qid=1575900023&sr=8-1

Also to master sex, one night stand or just few sex sessions with lots of different girls isn't gonna do it, because lt's too much stimulation (good sex is a marathon), and you never know what the girl like or don't like, so you have to limit yourself and can't really go as wild as you want.

Women needs intimacy way way more than guys to let themselves go really really really wet and crazy for you, and one night stand is super lame for that.

When you find a girl you really like, just stay with her, and watch the episodes that Leo released on how to have amazing sex, you can become amazingly good in 6 months to a year, and it's easy honestly.

 

Edited December 9, 2019 by Shin

[LfcCharlie4]

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0yMj-s4r3ydlDtT9XlBUSw

This channel would be a good start, foreplay is important as well as sex man. 

Also @Shin that advice is awesome. But if he wants to PU right now and sleep with multiple women, if he's doing it ethically and not manipulating these girls etc, I feel it's always best to not suppress something, just my 2 cents. 

But yeah, it will be harder to develop incredible skills on ONS, you could develop sort of FWB/ Casual things maybe to help?

[Shin]

Yeah I was just talking about sex specifically, but if his goal is the initial attraction phase, PUA is better.

Depends on what he wants to improve on ?

[Identity]

For me one night stands was not a good basis to learn sex from. 
I also had little experience, and got i to pick up. I would not be very authentic when seducing girls, trying to do whatever worked to get them home.

Than you come home with in this persona role and its time to have sex. Good sex relies on vulnerability  and being connected to your feelings. Both things which are the opposite of the fake persona.

For me having good sex only started when I threw all the pick up stuff out the window and became vulnerable. Allowing myself to feel my fears and insecurities, and than overcome them.

Now that I am in a relationship sex is becoming a totaly different more amazing domain.

Not saying pick-up/one night stands cant help you to learn and grow. However, I would check whether you are  being authentic, vulnerable and connected to your feelings when chatting these girls up.

[Eyal Bor]

@Shin  I got into Pick Up because I was terrible at both things, the attraction phase, so I never got to the deeper phases. I do direct game, I show my intention, I'm honest and I'm all against manipulation (TNL type). I wanted experience in the field, so went right into it.

So I went from having nothing, into having choice which is amazing. But I bet a my mostly fruitarian diet really doesn't help with erections. 

What about the dominant side of sex? 

I mean, I watch a movie like 50 shades, and I just see how women crave a dominant man in bed (as well as intimate, but I feel the intimate honesty part I'm ok with it) but I guess I'll be able to be one when I actually know what I'm doing, when I explore my own body and female body with the same woman for a while. 

Maybe a fuckbuddy or stable open relationship will do, while I continue improving the first phases skills.

[Eyal Bor]

@Identity I do direct game, and I'm transparent with women. I guess the most "persona" I create is showing sexual intent, I feel I make promises, and then in bed I feel I need to successfully fulfill that promise, which makes me put pressure on myself, which makes everything worse.

Maybe slow down my expectatives to perform, just be where I'm at and slowly get comfortable with more wild stuff.

[Ananta]

1 minute ago, Eyal Bor said:

I feel I make promises, and then in bed I feel I need to successfully fulfill that promise,

And "that" is the problem! 

[Eyal Bor]

@modmyth maybe that's the thing, maybe I dont. I do prefer girl on top a lot more, positions with lots of skin contact (not huge fan of doggystyle for example) although I wouldnt say I like being submissive either. 

[Shin]

You don't need to get better the way you think you need to get better.

Women don't really care if you perform or not, but they care a lot if you care about her and are not selfish, if you connect with her, and more importantly (and what makes them turn on), is if you are connected to your (true) masculine side.

Lots of woman will tell you that sex can be amazing physically, but they will almost always tell you that they are still unsatisfied, that's because most guys are disconnected from their emotions, don't care that much about her pleasure, and are manboy, so of course it's not satisfying, because they need the emotional component.

It really doesn't matter how technically good you are in bed unless you understand this.

You will maybe be good at one night stand, but when a deeper connection will form, you won't be able to have great sex, the girl won't at least, not for long.

It's mostly the mindset you're in that matters, and this is something that only changes if you change the way you look and direct your life.

The way you experience life as a whole is how you will have sex, it's not separate from everything else.

We say making love for a reason, and that's because the degree to which you love life is the degree to which you can have good love making, past the physical lustful part of it, which is never satisfying, and pathetic comparing to the sex you can ultimately have.

[Identity]

3 hours ago, Eyal Bor said:

@Identity I do direct game, and I'm transparent with women. I guess the most "persona" I create is showing sexual intent, I feel I make promises, and then in bed I feel I need to successfully fulfill that promise, which makes me put pressure on myself, which makes everything worse.

Maybe slow down my expectatives to perform, just be where I'm at and slowly get comfortable with more wild stuff.

Yeah exactly. The promise I would say is the persona. Telling her “this is what I am”, and than needing to prove that. Thats when the vulnerability for me flew out the window with one night stands.

[Eyal Bor]

@Shin Thank you for your words.

What does it mean the true masculine nature if it's not being more dominant/leading in bed?

Without leading, you won't really turn her on, will you?

I know the emotional part is super important in lovemaking, some of the best sex I've had has been the most emotional, but I'm looking to improve on the physical/sexual part of what makes sex great. I always try to connect with the girls anyways, and I dont really take girls in bed with which I dont feel I have some sort of emotional connection, even if it's going to be a short encounter.

I watched Leo's video, so my mindset has always been to please the girl, not myself. Finding what she likes. Giving.

 

[Shin]

Watch David Deidas videos ?

[Identity]

@Shin Binged his videos after you said that, they are fucking great