I saw a man get shot and killed today

[Consilience]

I was going to a store with a friend, as we stopped at a traffic light, we heard this big pickup truck honk at what looked to be a homeless man. He was in the middle of the street slowly walking towards the intersection, dressed in a bathrobe. 

Within 30 seconds, 4 cop cars showed up. They all got out and started yelling at the man to get out of the street, which seemed to provoke him. The homeless man turned from looking confused to now somewhat aggressive and started walking towards the cops waving his arms up in the air. I hear 3 loud bangs, and I watch his body drop to the ground. News article later confirmed he was dead.

Im not entirely sure how to process this or even how I feel or what I think... It was just a really intense moment and I haven’t had any comparable experiences in my life thus far. Ive experienced traumatic events of various kinds, but nothing so visceral. One thing I will say though, it makes me feel privileged to live in such a safe and comforting environment compared to various parts of the world. 

It felt like sharing would help. If anyone has any advice or input Im all ears.

[Ananta]

Sounds like maybe this man was mentally I'll or had dementia or was just homeless and confused, maybe drunk? From what you said I don't see why it was necessary to shoot and kill him? 

 

[Consilience]

@Anna1 It didn’t seem necessary. He didnt have any weapons or anything, nor was he interacting with anyone other than blocking cars. It felt like there were alternatives law enforcement could have used rather than using guns. What was even weirder was that they used assault rifles to take him down. 

Maybe there’s more to the situation I dont know, ie what this man had been up to in the area prior than this incident, that caused the police to immediately use lethal force. It still felt unnecessarily violent though. 

[Ananta]

@Consilience If he was not armed with a weapon then they will have to answer to why they killed him. Your account says you are in the US, so you know, cops can't just go around killing ppl without answering to someone for it. 

That being said, police officers really don't have enough training on how to deal with ppl mentally ill, dementia, etc. Most of them are more dangerous to themselves.

[Consilience]

@Anna1 True but I don’t actually know what the official reporting will be... Im going to be watching the local news tonight to see if there are any repercussions mentioned. But I could easily see the officer not receiving any punishment, seems to be a trend here in the states. 

I agree with your assessment on the training. Thank you for you input.

 

[IChoseTheRedPill]

@Consilience  It sounds as if You witnessed a manslaughter charge at the very least... Are You positive he was unarmed? Could the police have seen something that You couldn't? I'm just asking because if not, Your story is important...

[Consilience]

 

17 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

Right!?  Absolutely!

My advice would be for OP to figure out why they think that this incident should make them feel safer as compared to other countries.  Feeling safer and privileged in a country where innocent mentally ill people are shot down dead?  What?
Why don't the police have tranquilizers for situations like these?
The fact that makes you feel safer, OP, is a level of insanity all on it's own.  That's on par with deranged homeless person in a bathrobe level of insanity that such actions towards a sick human being who needs help, should somehow make you feel safer... and privileged?  Imagine if that was your father, son or brother with schizophrenia or severe autism or something like that.  I just can't get over it.  Safer and privileged.  Those two words are absolutely not kosher for what happened.  It's like adding a laugh track to video footage of the haulocaust or something.  

You’re analogies dont really make sense. Also notice that I didnt say it made me feel safer. I said it was safe COMPARED to other parts of the world. Interesting how reactionary you got over a word I didnt use and completely misinterpreted my post.

Safety here is relative. For example, have you seen footage of Syria, for example? Thousands upon thousands of people dealing with trauma much more horrible than anything I witnessed today. Was this act awful? Of course. I feel a great sadness for that apparent homeless man. It felt like a cruel and inhumane violence that was unneeded. But when I think about the collective lives of humanity, I hit the jack pot all things considered... it would be unwise to not acknowledge this, imo. 

I feel privileged to not live in a war torn country. I feel privileged to have a safe home to sleep in. I feel privileged to not have to live near warlords. I feel privileged that I dont witness violence regularly unlike thousands upon thousands of others. 

If you take this perspective as insanity, fine, but notice that this is all a projection of your ego. Watching someone die in front of you has the tendency to recontextualize your life, at least it did for me.  

It also represented how much more work our current society has to do with both collective mental healthcare, such as, why is it so unavailable for those who need it most? It also showed me how bad homelessness can be for people and also showed a level of police brutality that is alarming. Trust me, it feels fucked up and I feel the trauma forming in my body. It will be some time to process. 

But on the other hand, I would be lying if this event didnt create a recontextualization for my life. I am truly lucky to be where I am in life. If that seems insane to you, go live in a SD Stage Red/Blue country and get back to me. 

[Consilience]

32 minutes ago, IChoseTheRedPill said:

@Consilience  It sounds as if You witnessed a manslaughter charge at the very least... Are You positive he was unarmed? Could the police have seen something that You couldn't? I'm just asking because if not, Your story is important...

Im not positive. I just watched the news and it said 911 was called because he had a knife. So perhaps I missed it. It’s kind of a blur in my memory now. 

 

 

@Mikael89 Thank you. Like I said though, I dont feel safer. Instead, I recognized my relative safety. Until today, Ive been extremely disconnected from violence all things considered. And for that I feel grateful. My heart does go out to this man and any potential family members he has though. Im not sure if there were or werent weapons involved... I didn’t see any but the news report says otherwise so idk. 

The thing is, this one isolated event doesn’t change my situation. Feeling less safe doesn’t change anything. Just gotta stay extremely vigilant and aware at all times but letting my overall fear increase is not the lesson to be learned here. At least that’s not the lesson I feel. 

[DrewNows]

@Consilience Interesting and i am glad you shared this experience here. I feel there is a purpose for experiencing these sorts of "wake up calls" that arise in our lives without any notice whatsoever. Everyone who reads this here can relate to some degree on what it might feel like to experience this event, the ever changing nature of reality, and the illusion of safety the mind creates in knowing, routine and familiarity. Are we constantly overlooking a Truth beyond measure and experience? 

Does this feel like a call to action? Not even directly relating to the incident but in general and if so, what's it mean? 

[Consilience]

2 hours ago, DrewNows said:

@Consilience Interesting and i am glad you shared this experience here. I feel there is a purpose for experiencing these sorts of "wake up calls" that arise in our lives without any notice whatsoever. Everyone who reads this here can relate to some degree on what it might feel like to experience this event, the ever changing nature of reality, and the illusion of safety the mind creates in knowing, routine and familiarity. Are we constantly overlooking a Truth beyond measure and experience? 

Does this feel like a call to action? Not even directly relating to the incident but in general and if so, what's it mean? 

Yes... the timing for my friend and I was so weird. All the events of that day were timed so perfectly for us to watch, it didn’t feel accidental. It felt like reality gut checking me. Like.. “look truth in the eyes, do you still see love? Do you still see beauty? Do you still see safety? Do you still feel fearless?” And such a powerful observation because yeah, knowing, routine, familiarity, all create a perceived sense of safety that’s not actually there. Life could be taken away at any moment... and that lesson is sinking in deeper and deeper.

It feels like there is a call to action... which basically amounts to accepting the way the world is without losing empathy and genuine human to human understanding. To grow my compassion for the collective situation humanity finds ourselves in. To understand my own position in life and how grateful I am to be in a position where I can do something like consciousness work. Life is brutal but it’s not often I see brutality firsthand. So... this felt like a harsh lesson that the Universe wanted to be acknowledged if I really care about something like Truth. 

Thank you for your input. 

[abrakamowse]

I work in New York and I really agree with @Anna1 that probably police doesn't know how to deal with people with mental problems. 

Some years ago a mentally ill person was killed by the police because he had a knife in his hand and wave it at the police, I know that's not good but I think they could have taken the knife without the need of killing him, but... who knows.

 

The other one was another guy with mental problems, he was walking naked on top of a business Awning, it seems his home was in a building on top of that business, and he left his room from a window and he was there walking naked on top of that awning. So the police used an electric gun, who shocked him and made him fall from the first floor to the street to his death.

Not good... 

I found a youtube video with the news...

 

[Nahm]

@Consilience Feel for ya man. Seen a few people die unfortunately. One burned alive, was not pretty. My advice, this is it, live. Dream bigger, and then bigger, and go after it. The odd’s we’ll die are 100%. And 0. Thoughts are just thoughts.

 

[EddieEddie1995]

@Nahm100% and 0% heheheheeh 

Last week, one guy tried to kill himself by running into my car, luckily i menage to avoid him and not crush... I never thought it could happen to me(i could kill a guy, or die in a accident).What i learned is that I should be more grateful, don't worry about pity problems and live the best that I can, you never know what could happen to you, but why spend your life worrying when you can be happy and grateful (Im convincing  myself to take lsd, because, you never know when you gonna goo hehehehe:D ) 

[Nahm]

@EddieEddie1995 I was just trying to grab that twenty I dropped you maniac.

[Consilience]

@Nahm Thank you for the wisdom ??

[CreamCat]

This usually doesn't happen outside USA. I think american cops need to learn to deal with harmless unarmed people.

[Harikrishnan]

Don't cops be suspended or put on trial for killing people in u.s?  Isnt human rights strong there?  

[Consilience]

1 hour ago, Harikrishnan said:

Don't cops be suspended or put on trial for killing people in u.s?  Isnt human rights strong there?  

Supposed to, but it doesn't always happen. This cop got put on paid administrative leave as the investigation took place. Apparently this guy had a knife so there doens't seem to be any big consequences or repercussions. For the most part, our cops are good, but like.. it's not uncommon for cops to get away with things either. They are kinda the authority figures and with all authority based on ego, corruption seems inevitable. Much stronger human rights than a lot of other places around the world though, but there's still much work to be done. 

Just a general update, I did a holotropic breathwork session and had a pretty big release. As weird as this sounds, I discovered that I felt frustrated at my complete lack of ability to prevent this. I felt pathetic just watching as this man got brutally gunned down within seconds of the police arriving... And I wished I could have prevented it. In a way, I somehow feel responsible for this dude's death which I know sounds completely irrational, but emotions aren't always rational. Overall I wanted to help, I wished this man could just get help, but I wasn't able to, I wasn't strong enough. 

I also felt horrible for the cop that killed him, because I clearly saw how the act was out of fear. The officer shot him so quickly, he panicked. It felt like I felt the panic and felt the pain this officer is going to have to live with after killing someone like that. I felt sadness for the child that watched with his father (saw the father get interviewed on the local news), how the kid is going to have to grow up with this scar and how the father is as well. I also felt the fear of being killed myself, and how utterly vulnerable I really was and am. I also wish I could have shielded this situation from my friend, in fact, everyone. This is all what the emotional body wanted. 

Today I felt extremely lethargic and unmotivated to do anything, but after doing the breathwork I feel a lot better somehow. Somehow acknowledging the emotions, no matter how irrational they seem, really helped me let them go, or start to let them go. Healing probably is a process and will take time. I've never seriously participated in breathwork until tonight, but given the immediacy of its result, I'll probably continue to do it.

Thanks again for everyone's thoughts, ideas, insights, etc. I do sincerely appreciate it. 

Edited December 11, 2019 by Consilience

[skywords]

@Consilience, https://www.actualized.org/forum/profile/12860-consilience/ this was clearly, a horrific event, I empathize with you, profoundly.

I'd like to add a couple of perspectives that contextualize it, for me, in any case.

1.  Ppl who live in cultures of violence and coercion, act in violent and coercive ways.  This is the trance they are in.  We are all in a trance that privileges one interpretation of "reality" over another.  The culture of Actualized.org, is clearly one of inwardness and empathy.  But that is NOT the prevalent culture throughout the world.  If you watch movies, documentaries, and other media portrayals of coercive cultures, particularly police and military, but also, prison guard and other militant institutions, I believe you will find that aggression and contempt are privileged over other "trance," or emotional states.  Shockingly, I have also remarked that such "trance" states, or emotional states as compassion and empathy are discounted, dismissed and, I will emphatically insist, condemned!  I have been exposed to such cultures, on countless occasions, and have been sickened by the starkness of this contemptuous condemnation of love, tenderness, empathy and compassion.  This mentality, which modern psychology recognizes as power and shame based, but which pathologizes it as a trait of distinctly separate individuals, isolated from the norm ~ fails COMPLETELY to recognize it as TRIBAL and profoundly cultural/contextual.

2.  There are institutions predicated on both physically and emotionally stressful and deprived (and, thus, depraved) states of mind and body.  Such militarized institutions as police forces, but also, ironically, hospitals, routinely, for example, use sleep deprivation to instill discipline and compliance on it's subordinates.  This strategy of sleep depravation, among authoritarian structures, is as deleterious, unhealthy and intentional, as it is ubiquitous.  Sleep depravation causes insanity.  This is a well established fact, which I encourage everyone to study, both the literature, and the personal experience.  It is a form of torture.  It is among the top causes of cancer and mental break down.  And I am almost, certainly very close to confident, that BOTH the homeless man, AND the police, were very likely exhibiting the symptoms of both cumulative stress and sleep deprivation, both of which are an ongoing plague upon humanity, and our humanity itself, currently and throughout history, and prehistory.

Lastly, I would add, ANYONE who has the relative LUXURY to engage in INWARDNESS, even for a brief moment, such as we, ourselves, here, on actualized.org, are EXTREMELY privileged, and very close to the pinnacle of heavenly entitlement.  We are lucky indeed ~ BUT EXTREMELY NAIVE to expect that the rest of humanity can afford to engage in this crucial "indulgence."  It approaches the cliché, "let them eat cake."  (Although Marie Antoinette never said such a thing, what she did say, would be taken entirely out of context, so endemic is our predilection to demonize.)

https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ted.com%2Ftalks%2Fmatt_walker_sleep_is_your_superpower%3Flanguage%3Den%26fbclid%3DIwAR2pwAE2J8k4n9TgQQHRlsV0R-c2R8fvuFzTEzR08VM9vYKH9SaNpPUE5LE%23t-208929&h=AT1frP0pUHhrGDDA2HdEC3w6N_SrGES-J8MchxbE_IGryFNykyc8L9JhaRNQgrErM-n12Z4NRUjau5ypbdw-SjZ6WffrGPCa-gZgTPDxoS9cSfgMh-LeFywf2-LudseYc10OVGepErqxgcEHQ0JclIAWG-XhfDVT09VF7zbJvM0s

 

Edited December 11, 2019 by skywords