Grief

[IChoseTheRedPill]

Believe it or not, the DSM-V states that grief that lasts more than two weeks should be classified as major depressive disorder... The wording is tricky but it is classified as MDD... I lost my wife to brain cancer and medical malpractice a little over 2 1/2 years ago and it's still tough dealing with it at times...  I'm grateful that my psychiatrist defies this rule...  Thank goodness for my two children, family and my friends is all I've got to say... There were times when I would go to get togethers and I'd find myself sitting alone thinking "How can everyone be so happy with Cheryl not here?" I eventually came to realize that that wasn't fair to anyone, that people grieve for different lengths of times and in different ways... I knew and know that everyone still misses Cheryl... I still find myself crying at times though... One of my favorite earthlings, Keanu Reeves is quoted as saying "Grief changes shape, but it never ends..."  He's absolutely right... Spending time with others, music, photography, my computer, reading and donating my time and energy to those in need (Cheryl constantly volunteered) fills the void for me...

I hope I'm not being too personal by asking this... What did dealing with grief do to You and how did You handle this crisis? PeaCe2 everyone...

[Average Investor]

It sounds like you are really trying to work through your issues going through the last few of your threads. I hope you have an excellent healing journey. I am working through depersonalization disorder right now. I am taking it down piece by piece. I am highly focusing on ocd right now and only have one slight ocd action yesterday that I caught myself in. 

A lot of it depends on where the person is at emotionally and their habits. I had a close friend kill himself and I was one of the last people he talked to a few years ago. It really was not all that easy process to be honest with you. But how I would have handled it then versus now is much different. 

I think a lot of those life style changes I showed you would really help you move in the right direction. That and really facing the emotions of the loss is important. It might help you to write out a letter to here that you just keep for yourself. Maybe explain all of the emotions you feel. Maybe even write the story of your relationship out as a whole. Really delve into it and not avoid it. But really know that she would not have wanted you to be hurting. Try to focus in on all of the good things that you have going for you in life. Maybe write out 3 things every morning that you are thankful for.  

I know this might sound a bit further out and you would want to do your research. It might be worth it to research psilocybin mushrooms. I am going to be using some to face some trauma. I am going to do it next time and write out a biography of my childhood. However, I would really urge you to be in a good mood for two weeks at least and working on all of those other things I had sent you in the link. But if you decide to go this route please do the research. Be open minded to it too. I have heard of people equating it to 5 years worth of therapy. I have had luck with it reducing my ocd as well as well as others who have had the same findings.  

Also, I would highly recommend avoiding any mood stabilizers or anti depressants. This is really going to hinder your growth and healing in my opinion. 

[IChoseTheRedPill]

Thank You so much for all of Your feedback... I really appreciate You... I'm taking everything You've shared with me to heart... I'm very sorry for the loss of Your friend... You have to be in a lot of internal pain in order to take Your own life because You know it's going to hurt those who love You but there is no other way that You can see... It;s a horrible place to be in... Again, I'm sorry... I'm an experienced cultivator, since about 1986... I bought Paul Stamets book "Thwe Mushroom Cultivator" and it was all down hill from there... Check out the Shroomery if You're interested in growing edibles, medicinals or actives, it's a great site... The majority of people there are very cool... I do use actives every now and then for the reasons You recommended and you're right, they completely change my headspace... They're a gift from nature that evolved right along with us as far as I'm concerned... I subbed Your UTube channel... I'm just starting to get up to speed on crypto and blockchain on Block Geeks... By the way,  I'm "I've Got Cateyes" on UTube... Thanks again man...

Important Note: This is for any other reader who goes through this thread... Psilocybin can change Your life in many ways but please do not consume these mushrooms while on SSRI's as it can easily cause an extremely serious reaction known as "serotonin syndrome" which can be deadly...

[Surfingthewave]

@IChoseTheRedPill Grief is one of the many reasons my self actualisation path has intensified. I lost a close friend to suicide also and it took the rug out from beneath my feet. The pain and suffering was unbearable at times.

Writing a letter to him really helped. As did allowing myself to really feel what I needed to feel. Self love, talking to others, asking for help, meditation, exercise, walking in nature. Time really does help. 

[IChoseTheRedPill]

@Surfingthewave  I'm so sorry for Your loss... That is a horrible way to lose someone... Your friend still loved You, they just didn't know there were other ways out... I understand what You mean regarding the pain... The loss seemed so surreal at times, it actually put me in the hospital for 5 weeks afterwords... It's good to see that You've managed to make it work  for You, that's the crossroad I'm at now, it took me some time...

8 hours ago, Surfingthewave said:

Writing a letter to him really helped.

I am going to write that letter later today... Thank You for everything Surfer...

Edited December 9, 2019 by IChoseTheRedPill

[Average Investor]

@IChoseTheRedPill Yeah, I had been in a similar space when I was younger, so I know how it can feel to be at that point in life.  Sorry for your loss as well I can imagine it carries a burden.

Do you think the book is worth it compared to online searching? I have watched Paul Statments on Joe Rogan and I actually buy his host defense brand of lions mane, which is super awesome if you have not looked into that.  I have checked out their site, but I think I will register and dive in a bit deeper one of these days. I have actually wondered about growing my own lions mane. We have been talking about getting my own green house here and maybe that would be a good place to work on growing some. 

I don't do any crypto videos now. I have been kind of playing around with maybe showing how to grow various businesses and what not on there. I recommend looking into Andreas Antonopoulos and Data Dash.  The blockgeeks site looks pretty good. I did try to find your youtube, but did not come back with a channel. 

[IChoseTheRedPill]

@Average Investor  Thank You... It's a good book but it came out in the early 80's... The Shroomery is a great web resource because there are experienced cultivators and mycologists there who can answer who will answer any questions You might have... There's also a trusted vendor sub forum where You buy grow kits to start off, spores and cultures... I wouldn't be surprised if Lions Mane is available... I'm up in age and want to try Lions Mane for my memory... I'm interested in starting one or more online stores but I want to do it right... Google statistics claim well over 90% fail at it... I don't want to be one of them... I'm unsure what platform to use... I have over 880 transactions at 100% on eBay... Up until recently all my sales were big ticket items like motorcycles, photography gear, welders and shop equipment... Recently I sold a pair of carhartt overalls and made a $40.00 profit but eBay hit me with a $17.00 fee which I thought was ridiculous... FBA doesn't appeal to me at all... I don't know what to do so I'll watch Your videos and see which way to pivot... I just subbed both of those channels... Thanks... Maybe You can't find me because I don't have any content yet... I'm not sure...

 

Take care... Back to Grief...

[Average Investor]

@IChoseTheRedPill Definitely give it a shot! I have noticed that I will now ever remember things that I would have just disregarded because they were not important anymore. Like how much I spent on something etc, but it became important for whatever reason. I would not have been nearly as successful in remembering prior to it. 

 Ebay would be good to drive traffic to your own site as well, so no point in not using it to be honest. I was going to move onto amazon a bit and mostly just try to sell big ticket electronics there if they let me. I doubt I will get ungated for collectibles.   I am working on investing into a better structure for my listings on ebay to get on several platforms and possibly my own shopify store, which is suppose to be easy to sync listings over to. I do intend to list thousands of items though, so a subscription to cross listing might not be worth it depending on your frequency of listings. I was thinking about putting out a video this week maybe. I am going grinding quite a few hours out for reselling this week though too, so we will see.  

I am pretty well versed with selling on ebay. Would be happy to provide you a lot of resources you could find useful and teach you some stuff if needed. Feel free to pm me if you want.

Take it easy. 

[IChoseTheRedPill]

@Average Investor  Thank You AI... I love eBay, I was just shocked on how much it cost me to list and sell... I am more a buyer then a seller and I hadn't sold in awhile so I'm not up to speed as far as the new fees go... Shopify interests me too, I've watched a lot of their tutorial series... The only thing I'm unclear about so far is will the customer know it's a Shopify store or will it be an independent url? Thanks for the offer, I will take You up on it... I'm looking forward to Your YouTube feed... Take good care...

[Average Investor]

@IChoseTheRedPill I am not an expert with shopify for sure, so I cannot really say. It would be a new place for me to try out. Ideally I would direct traffic from google and ebay customers to it. I am full time selling as my only income right now. I am not an expert, but I know quite a bit. I really just use ebay right now, but I need to diversify. I have nearly half of my businesses income coming from local sales though too. 

Ebay is not very user friendly unfortunately. I am wasting an hour or so just phoning between them and paypal to literally just change my automatic payment method this morning. I cannot ship until they change it over to my bussiness paypal. That and I am on managed payments and I am having buyers tell me that they are not able to pay me, so I missed out on two sales just because of their technical issues. I love the platform too it just seems like every month now it seems there is a new issue I have to resolve with them. 

Definitely message me though. Maybe it would be a good hobby or business for you to try out. I love going out and getting items it is really fun for me. In the summer I travel hours out of town to garage sale events. 

Edited December 9, 2019 by Average Investor

[Nahm]

@IChoseTheRedPill On a personal note, I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss. On the actuality, or existential note, grief - the feeling, not the thought content - can be a bridge into nonduality when we explore into the feeling nuance, as to wether grief is essential to our being. This is revealing of what is essential to our being, which in turn brings tremendous peace, changing the content, and the feeling of, grief. In the sense, pain, suffering, loss... can be the wrapping on unthinkable gifts, insights, and realizations, of Love...Self-Love.

[IChoseTheRedPill]

@Nahm  You've given me some things that are important to consider... Thank You Nahm...