communication to woman with depression,anxiety,panic attacks

[archi]

I met recently woman that I have to deal with her in various ways but it turns out that she's got depression, anxiety, panic attacks? (l do not know what type yet, assuming mild to severe)

One of the major challenges is that I like her but I realized I'm not able to talk to her and I need some advice.

She is on medication (do not know what she takes). She has lots of survival problems and also she keeps talking how she loves sun and hates winter/cold.

Once I started theme around depression and it was no good idea (it was possibly too early), I was not able to communicate with her in a way that  I did not offend her (she made 5 steps in logic forward her way and made assumptions and  conclusions that had nothing to do with what I said) and she immediately became frustrated and stumped me with words to the ground like schoolboy . (Oh boy, I loved it, I guess I'm masochist)

Afterwards, I apologize and she takes control and I say almost absolutely nothing most of the time, like a fucking pony. ( at this point I just let go)

I feel it is all related to trust and the fact that I'm not used to it and and.

How to talk to people with depression?

How to gain trust?

Do people with depression have ability to change or drug take control over them?

Any other advice?

 

 

[Elisabeth]

A person with depression is a PERSON like any other. Usual communication conventions apply with the caveat that they might have a difficult time relating to your happiness or humor, and advice like "DO something .." often doesn't apply because they just don't have the emotional bandwidth to do it, their will tends to be drained by the most common tasks. (However, there's nothing in your post that indicates that she's currently in this deeply tired and inactive state. )

They will also probably have one or more topics where their defence mechanisms are very active - the topics most severely contributing to their mental health problems. A difficulty changing can't be really attributed to medication, rather to the broken parts of the psyche itself. 

What's your intention with this women, what would you like to talk about? 

[aaalex]

You have to make a decision if you want to interfere with her and her progress. If she’s on medication for depression means that she probably has a quite unstable psychology. Of course there are some things you can do to make the communication easier between the two of you but don’t expect anything from a person who suffers from depression.

If she struggles with trusting people she will likely be super defensive if you try to confront or talk to her about anything related to why she’s depressed. What I’ve experienced with people on medication for depression is that there’s a lot of self denial and suppression. That’s one of the reasons they even take medication in the first place.

Edited December 8, 2019 by aaalex

[archi]

On 12/8/2019 at 1:06 PM, Elisabeth said:

What's your intention with this women, what would you like to talk about? 

Women, yes, maybe she is more women in one .

I just never met women like her and I was brain fcked  and it looks that the reason was the number of psychiatric sessions and some depression/anxiety.

Intention that is a good point, when my mind cannot think of anything else and I suffer my intention was to get rid of my suffering , I used it for creativity.

All was resolved in multiple interactions, I got rid of my suffering (lost painful creativity) and she is in the same state that she was before , god bless her.

[archi]

On 12/8/2019 at 4:12 PM, aaalex said:

You have to make a decision if you want to interfere with her and her progress. If she’s on medication for depression means that she probably has a quite unstable psychology. Of course there are some things you can do to make the communication easier between the two of you but don’t expect anything from a person who suffers from depression.

If she struggles with trusting people she will likely be super defensive if you try to confront or talk to her about anything related to why she’s depressed. What I’ve experienced with people on medication for depression is that there’s a lot of self denial and suppression. That’s one of the reasons they even take medication in the first place.

I quickly decided not to interfere, yes, I realized that there were many interesting things in her views but they were not theirs.

I saw something that was not there but I still see lots of potential but I keep it for myself, she wants to burn I let her burn .

I wondered that maybe she uses depression to manipulate people and she was manipulating me .

 Once I realized that all my suffering stopped.

She cannot trust me, I cannot trust her, case resolved  .

[aaalex]

59 minutes ago, archi said:

I saw something that was not there but I still see lots of potential but I keep it for myself, she wants to burn I let her burn .

I wondered that maybe she uses depression to manipulate people and she was manipulating me .

Sometimes we create an idea of someone / something in our head and confuse ourselfs (been there done that). I like your honesty about it!

Interesting observation! I used to be depressed the majority of my life and can see how manipulating can go hand in hand with depression. I was so consumed of my own misery which made me create bad and toxic behavioural patterns. I remember behaving nasty in situations and using my depression to my advantage which made it easier for people around me to put up with my shit.

It all depends on how willing you are to be completely 100% honest with yourself. Spiritually helped me with this even if it was a painful truth to discover about myself.

Or you’ll continue to be in denial because the truth can be extremely painful for some people. It’s very likely you’ll stay in that state if you also take medication (my own observation). May she find peace and realises she is the only one responsible for her own happiness! 

1+ to you for staying true to yourself! 

[archi]

22 hours ago, aaalex said:

Sometimes we create an idea of someone / something in our head and confuse ourselfs (been there done that). I like your honesty about it!

Interesting observation! I used to be depressed the majority of my life and can see how manipulating can go hand in hand with depression. I was so consumed of my own misery which made me create bad and toxic behavioural patterns. I remember behaving nasty in situations and using my depression to my advantage which made it easier for people around me to put up with my shit.

It all depends on how willing you are to be completely 100% honest with yourself. Spiritually helped me with this even if it was a painful truth to discover about myself.

Or you’ll continue to be in denial because the truth can be extremely painful for some people. It’s very likely you’ll stay in that state if you also take medication (my own observation). May she find peace and realises she is the only one responsible for her own happiness! 

1+ to you for staying true to yourself! 

Glad to hear that someone with condition was able to overcome it and realize own manipulation.

I'm not easy person and I as anybody else have tendency to manipulate. 

I try to be honest with myself, ideally radical honesty, it is tough.  At the same time, one cannot use radical honesty to people around.

People around are mostly ignorant and are not able to accept honesty, they want lies, not that honesty isn't lie by itself .