MDMA and God's Love

[MrDmitriiV]

Dosage: 150mg (drank with water); Setting alone at home; Previous experience: 8 LSD trips from 50ug to 500ug

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/42050-your-on-the-other-side-8th-lsd-trip-report/#comment-524481 last trip

The powder looked like small yellowish crystals, smelled beautifully like a virgin’s flower and had an unpleasant chemical taste.

 

 I started feeling the effects at 20min, and at 30-40min the effects started to make my mind very turbulent, but thanks to my previous experience with LSD I was used to my mind going to very unexpected places/states. Most notably my mind was focusing on some “unpleasant” human images from memory and repeating them in a loop. I was saying to myself, WTF are these for? This was supposed to be pleasant! Good thing I focused on my breathing and they subsided.

 That memory-image-looping lasted for a few minutes, after focusing on breathing (which was unusually effortless) my mind went into a state of “like waiting in a lobby for something big to happen”. And finally at about probably 1hr the switch turned. In almost an instant all the (past and present) worries, fears and negative emotions simply vanished to be left with pure and innocent Love. The switch was just the peak starting, because in a few min after, the Love became more and more intense. So intense my eyes become watery writing about it. Soon I was crying and murmuring “It’s all Love, It’s all Love, It’s all Love…” after saying this for some time I switched on to “Wow, wow, wow”.

 In the “it’s all love” part I was seeing/feeling how EVERYTHING is made out of love for love. In the “wow” part I was marveled at how pure and innocent is the purpose behind this creation. God has a baby-like innocence. The first part was known both theoretically and experientially before, but this time was a first in terms of clarity. The second part was brand new. I was experiencing the pure/innocent being behind all of this. I was also seeing how God allows evil precisely for greater love. Although it’s not evil in god’s eyes). Both of these parts are part of the single and main peak which lasted for about 30 min.

 After that I wrote to my friend how silly it is to fear stuff, from a meta-perspective that is. Since all is made of love, all you fear and reject is parts of yourself. Not just fear, but hatred and judgment too. But at the end of day, it’s all because we love that fear too! I also said how sorry I am for many devilish things I did. And how no part of reality is better then the other (re-affirmation of the insight from last LSD trip).

 Some other notable things about my MDMA trip: I had perfect mental clarity, could easily think, speak, write and move; Was surprised that time was just a little speed up, compared to LSD where it really slows down; I had no desire to move, but when did it felt very effortless; While there where no visual patterns, my visual perception definitely changed, like the distance between things became much closer; Music felt good but not as good as with LSD. I really liked the interstellar "First Step" soundtrack by Hans Zimmer under mdma.

 From negative effects only had: very fast heartbeat before peaking (maybe after too, but didn’t notice?), also I started sweating hard. Jaw clenching was only present if I held my mouth semi-open. None of these were bad though, just make sure to drink plenty of water and take pure MDMA.

 

 It’s very unfortunate that most people take it on stupid parties and missing on more spiritual growth. Also most MDMA sold is very impure, most pills contain other shit or no mdma at all! So be careful to get the real pure thing. If it smells like a virgin’s flower that’s how you know it’s good))) (joking, that’s just the first description which came after smelling mdma and it stuck)

 Overall I’m very glad to experience this substance. LSD has much more powerful potential (and much safer, it’s easy to harm or die with mdma) but mdma does offer a unique experience on things! Most notable is the focus on the love aspect while having perfect mental clarity.

At the 6-8hr mark it was out of my system and felt no “hangover” like with LSD (feel mentally-exhausted for a day after taking it). Also I did not experience "brain-fry" or sadness after the trip, like many report.

[Leo Gura]

Nice work.

You can also access this same love on LSD and all psychedelics if you set your intention to go there.

[How to be wise]

What is the chance of getting caught by the police with those drugs? I want to assess the risk before I can even contemplate buying them.

[Bill W]

5 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

What is the chance of getting caught by the police with those drugs? I want to assess the risk before I can even contemplate buying them.

There is a 9.4 % chance 

[MrDmitriiV]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

You can also access this same love on LSD and all psychedelics if you set your intention to go there.

 LSD really fucks up my mental clarity and obliterates my ego (every time after peaks I have to re-assemble the ego). I can't think/contemplate properly with it or there's no "someone" to experience some mind-blowing states of consciousness. Also I experience a more zen/male-like type of love with LSD, but with MDMA it was an extremely intense Christ/feminine-like love. LSD is a very flexible substance, and I agree with better intention and training I can get there with it.

 Recently I got a "device" for committing suicide and planned to do so this weekend, MDMA made me re-think that))) It showed me that it would be a very selfish action on my part and cause insane suffering for my mother. Last LSD trip did not alleviate my desire to die at all, since it makes me realize it's all an illusion/nothing. Realizing that everything's a mental game/illusion when you're living a hellish life isn't fun. It adds up to insanity aspect.

 Also looks like this MDMA trip alleviated some of my social anxiety barriers. After it's peak I got MANY insights on the devilish ways I treat other people.

  MDMA is certainly not a top-weapon for spirituality, but has many unique benefits very few talk about (since it's a party drug).

[Bill W]

1 minute ago, MrDmitriiV said:

Also looks like this MDMA trip alleviated some of my social anxiety barriers. After it's peak I got MANY insights on the devilish ways I treat other people.

I'd be really interested to hear more about this, either on this thread or elsewhere. Do you have a journal?

Also, I'm glad suicide is not currently high on your agenda. I hope it stays that way for you. 

[MrDmitriiV]

1 minute ago, Bill W said:

I'd be really interested to hear more about this, either on this thread or elsewhere. Do you have a journal?

Also, I'm glad suicide is not currently high on your agenda. I hope it stays that way for you. 

 I've been suicidal for 5 fucking years!!! 8 goddamn LSD trips, 6 years of doing self-development work (have been watching Leo almost since his start on YouTube, watched 95% of his vids, re-watched many and so...). Although I did grow way beyond any expectations, my life's above average hardships and physical inabilities to actualize my beautiful mind has driven me nuts all these years. Trying to thrive in a country with 300$/month avg salary with many health issues while pursuing Enlightenment is a hell of a ride...  

 Can't talk much about the social aspect of MDMA since I just took MDMA yesterday early morning. Will have to see in the coming days.

 After peak I did get a 1hr "revision" of my past social relations with others. Stuff like sending a birthday message to my mom (instead of calling) and being so cold with other human beings in general.

 Tripping on different psychedelics or drugs is definitely a must, it's like learning from different teachers instead of one! Also I feel zero addiction or desire to try MDMA, so it's drug label is mainly deserved to it being toxic and even fatal on large and frequent doses. Only once in 1/3 months and no more then 200mg! At least that's what I read so far)

[MrDmitriiV]

On 12/8/2019 at 9:12 AM, MrDmitriiV said:

drink plenty of water

Correction. Don't drink too much water though, as it can be bad too:

"While staying hydrated can reduce the risk of heat stroke associated with MDMA, the drug can also cause the body to retain water, so drinking too much can lead to a potentially fatal electrolyte imbalance".

[SriBhagwanYogi]

@MrDmitriiV Niceee my favorite ? but effects of love or clarity never stay in my case