Vulnerability vs Victim Mentality

[Parththakkar12]

I'm sorry for the strawmans. I'm doing internal work on this dynamic as we speak.

I'll tell you what I know about recovering from a vibration of powerlessness/victimization.

Step 1 : Don't blame yourself. When you're in that state, you'll want to blame whatever catches your fancy. Self-blame is a lower frequency than blaming someone else. When you're in the space of powerlessness, someone telling you to take responsibility will feel like a gaslight, i.e. it will feel like they're blaming you for what's happened to you. If you buy what they're saying, you'll not end up taking responsibility for yourself, instead you'll end up self-blaming, which is self-abuse.

Step 2 : Be present with your powerlessness. That the reality is that that's how you feel.

Step 3 : Now you'll move into a space of revenge, which is a higher vibration than powerlessness. Here you'll have emotions like rage, fury, anger. All these are higher vibrational states than powerlessness. Process accordingly (May involve listening to metal, venting anger, etc)!

Step 4 : Victim-mentality. Now you've settled into a space of blaming the person who has wronged you, and you're 'putting the blame where it belongs' (This is an important step for victims of sexual assault). Having people feel sorry for you/validate you can be healing (as long as you're not bringing them down too much).

Step 5 : When you're done being in a dis-empowered space (which is what the victim-mentality is) then you wake up to the reality that you have been creating everything to begin with. Take responsibility for your life and move into a space of empowerment!

All of this is based on my direct experience. It's verified by a lot of people who have healed from sexual trauma. (I wasn't sexually abused, but healing from other childhood traumas works similarly)

What this tells me is that helping someone heal from 'victim-mentality' (if you want to call it a dysfunction) depends a lot on where they're at. Tuning into them emotionally is the only way of knowing where they're at! This is what I meant when I mentioned taking responsibility for them.

I'm not expecting anyone to be able to do this in one go. It's a personal commitment to take responsible for other people's emotional health. But it's surely a useful discussion to have!