When a girl likes me I think there is something wrong with her

[Bridge to Infinity]

I've never had a girlfriend or intimacy with a girl and I'm pursuing pickup hardcore at the moment... that being said....

I've read this in the SixPillarsOfSelfEsteem book where Nathaniel talks about how because we don't love ourselves we are shocked when someone loves us and we start to think that there is something wrong with their judgement and dismiss them as not worthy enough.

I'm conscious of that however I legit think if a girl is playing into me and sending me pictures and face-timing me after a day or two of meeting her I start to think she is really insecure, unexperienced and lonely which turns me OFF. 

Story:

I visited the city of my soon to be university, and I met this girl during the time I was there. She just wanted to get involved with me, telling me "don't leave stay with me" and whenever I talked about my future she would always come in and say, I want to do that with you. To me, she was just an insecure person and I couldn't imagine myself having sex with her.

I will never have sex with an insecure girl, it turns me off and makes me feel used, as some sort of crutch to get her out of her loneliness. 

[oMarcos]

If you don't value yourself, how can you believe that someone else will value you? It's basic maths

Edited December 7, 2019 by oMarcos

[Leo Gura]

I told ya... Self-Love

Bro, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

[Bill W]

Imposter Syndrome.

It afflicts us all at one time or another. 

[remember]

@bridge to infinity
maybe you could start being friends with her? why should you want to sleep with any random girl? are you sure she’s insecure? maybe she was giving you signs that she wants to hang out with you, because you are both new in the city. so why not start having a female friend? you can learn a lot of her and she will probably also have female friends who are more easily to approach. if you both end up in bed anyways i guess you both want to fulfill some needs is that unattractive? i guess you just didn’t sort out that attractiveness thing for you yet. just go on with pick up, making some friends along can’t be wrong can it?

[Bridge to Infinity]

@Leo Gura I love your one-liners! HAHA@Bill W I'll look into it "imposter syndrome" maybe it could shine a light on the situation @remember wise words, cheers m8

[Ananta]

16 hours ago, Bridge to Infinity said:

I've never had a girlfriend or intimacy with a girl and I'm pursuing pickup hardcore at the moment...

Okay, so you're looking for a girl.

 

16 hours ago, Bridge to Infinity said:

she was just an insecure person and I couldn't imagine myself having sex with her.

So, then the universe sends you a available girl, that's into you, that doesn't play games and you in turn judge/criticize her, then ultimately reject her.  ?

 

[CreamCat]

I see a few possibilities.

• She is a trojan horse.
• She wants to test a relationship with a guy.
  • Perhaps, you are too ugly to believe that a girl actually starts liking you right after you meet her?
• She is also into pick-up.
• She is a traditional girl or was never in a relationship with a guy before.
• Her parents have maintained a good relationship, so she thinks marriage is a good deal.
• ...

You don't want to have sex with her? Either, she is not hot enough, or she looks dangerous.

Edited December 8, 2019 by CreamCat

[Consept]

It sounds like your self esteem could improve and you should work on that But.... Yes neediness is very off putting and if its too much at the start if you actually get involved it will be 10x worse. Just because someone wants to sleep with you doesn't mean you should just do it, worry about what you actually want, are you attracted to her, do you know what you're looking for? You will have to be honest with yourself and work out if she's insecure or your self esteem is low 

[Javfly33]

Lol I'm also reading that book and actually starting pick up... (Did it like 5 years ago but I stopped at the seventh girl or so xD)

I don't see where is your problem. Clearly you still don't accept / love yourself enough. 

Have sex with her or not, anyway is not going to change much and you should focus in growing.

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

On 7.12.2019 at 10:52 AM, Bridge to Infinity said:

I've read this in the SixPillarsOfSelfEsteem book where Nathaniel talks about how because we don't love ourselves we are shocked when someone loves us and we start to think that there is something wrong with their judgement and dismiss them as not worthy enough.

LOL, I was almost going to say "Join the club, we got jackets"... but then again, if you're anything like me at all, you're not going to want to join a club that would take on a bum like you as a member anyway.

Yeah, whenever someone gives me signs of genuine interest and affection, I immediately conclude that they a) must be hopelessly deranged and desperate loners themselves (which, ironically, is probably true in 70% of all cases - after all, you attract what you are) or that b) they want to take advantage of me and fuck me over somehow. Why else on god's green earth would they want to spend time with an utterly worthless heap of dung such as myself anyway... RIGHT?

It takes a lot of time and effort to rewrite this toxic program that's been running in your mind since childhood; I have been working on that for years, and let me tell you, I'm not anywhere near done. You basically need to take your self-loathing and insecure inner child by the hand and re-parent it; there are tons of videos about this available on Youtube. And I guess I don't even have to say this, given the fact that there are about 3587 threads on this forum that tell you the same thing, but psychedelics help massively in this process.