Am I talking to Leo in my own mind?

[Strangeloop]

I think I gear Leo's thoughts in my mind. It's like I'm having a conversation with him. It's very weird.. I'm making an assumption that there's a hierarchy in the thought realm like someone is on the top of the hierarchy and everyone below them listens and thinks like the leader of the pyramid. 

Although it could be just me talking to my future or older self however you want to call it.

I had this thought that maybe my future self is talking to me from the future to the past self and I'm talking to him from now. 

Also I hear women's voice all the time "which definitely isn't Leo". She talks a lot but I can't seem to catch on what she is saying. When I try to speak in my mind the thoughts are still in the women's voice as my thoughts. It's very weird it's like I'm a women in a man's body. From which stems up the thought of being transexual. Which I don't even know why it  came up. If I tries to guess I would say that being transexual is the same as saying "I'm God" because in my philosophy every aspect of reality is God and that includes being Transexual and Gay and terrorists, murderers, homophobes, ISIS, America, Trump, A vagina, a cup, a table (Jim Carey said that)

Why did I even get a life with this exact philosophy, I don't want it, I want to be a regular guy who has a family and friends and is not doing this crazy shit of speaking to himself and thinking he's God or The Universe. Like How can I even be the Universe? Sure Leo explained it in his "What is Consciousness?" Video. He said that below atoms there is consciousness and everything is made not out of atoms or energy, but consciousness. It's like I have to agree with him because I can't seem to find a better answer. Uhhhh..... I take all of his words on faith... it's frustrating.

[silene]

Maybe you're spending too much time on Leo's theory and not enough on your own practice? Try picking just a few practices, spend more time looking at the reality around you, and drop Leo's theories until you can see the truth for yourself. Who knows, Leo may be wrong, but you need your own direct experience to actually find out  By the way, Iif you want a regular life, what's stopping you? 

Edited December 7, 2019 by silene

[SgtPepper]

Time to let go of all thoughts and go into your heart. Sit in silence, the answer is there.

[MAYA EL]

You sound like you are experiencing schizophrenia

[Strangeloop]

@SgtPepper But I like to have conversations. Silence is not my enemy though.  

@MAYA EL Yeah I had went to the doctors for this it's probably it and I don't know how to deal with it.

[SgtPepper]

Conversations are good! However, when we start to get confused or frustrated through that process, I think its a sign to sit in silence and let yourself come to know what's the next step.

Btw, I would not say this is schizophrenia without more information. If anything, I immediately thought that this is how Christians connect to Jesus. I feel like we can connect to the spirit of others by getting to know them and it serves as a guide.

[MAYA EL]

6 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

@SgtPepper But I like to have conversations. Silence is not my enemy though.  

@MAYA EL Yeah I had went to the doctors for this it's probably it and I don't know how to deal with it.

You have to grab your mind . Remember its your mind and your realm so you are the master and you get to pick what's in your mind and what's not. And you will have a hard battle but you can regain control. 

[Strangeloop]

@SgtPepper @MAYA EL Thank you

 

[Nak Khid]

On 12/6/2019 at 1:09 PM, Strangeloop said:

 I want to be a regular guy who has a family and friends and is not doing this crazy shit of speaking to himself and thinking he's God or The Universe. Like How can I even be the Universe? Sure Leo explained it in his "What is Consciousness?" Video.

You might want to look at the following options. Get some cognitive therapy and study how it works, start working on something creative that will occupy your thoughts away from paradoxical mystical questions and philosophical abstractions. If this fails look into getting being prescribed an anti-psychotic medication.
And go out and do regular things and read books and videos on regular stuff and forums in this website other than this one.

 

[seeking_brilliance]

@Strangeloop unfortunately the universe spits out all these people with these brains that can get corrupted, like a  bad disk on your computer.  No one has ever truly figured out schizophrenia because its too similar to mystical experiences.  In my opinion it is a type of mystical experience but colored incorrectly by a corrupted disk (your brain).  So with this in mind, pursuing mystical experiences with a corrupted disk will be so misleading, it will only further perpetuate the schizophrenia!   This is why it is important to seek help.  As much help as possible.  If you don't go on medication, you will need a strong helper to keep what is "real" apart from what is a schizophrenic delusion.  Even if you realize it is all imagination and a delusion in the end, for your own immediate survival, you MUST learn the difference between what is your character's delusions, and what is 'actually happening'. Only then will you have the discernment to judge mystical experiences, and continue to advance in spiritual work.  My two cents.