Very emotional all of a sudden

[Butters]

Hello lovely actualized members, 

Recently I've fallen on some hard times; financial stress and unemployment. I've dealt with it before and it's going okay. After a short few weeks of alcohol and cocaine abuse I had 3 experiences on MDMA that clarified some youth traumas, that was very helpful and I've given it a place now. 

Then yesterday some things become very clear to me: what I'm supposed to do with my life and how I should do it. It was an amazing experience. From then on I've become very emotional. Like I cry when I think about certain things or see a child in public. I can hold it back in public but this is a completely new experience for me. 

It's not sadness, it's just feeling very emotional and wanting to cry. 

I realize I have been emotionally unavailable for the last 12 years, maybe more.. (I'm 30 now). 

So even though I am taking action and loving life now, I don't know what this means. Am I now emotionally unstable? 

 

Thanks in advance for your answers. 

[Lento]

Heart chackra opening, don't worry. You're alright.

[Butters]

Just now, Lento said:

Heart chackra opening, don't worry. You're alright.

Oh thanks dude I really appreciate that answer 

I also just realized I'll impress my acting class being able to cry on demand now 

[Meditationdude]

@Butters The reason you’re crying is because you’re coming down off of drugs. It used to happen to me all the time.  I’d go on a bender and then for 2-3 weeks after I’d be an emotional mess. Then my brain chemistry goes back to normal and I’m fine again.

Do yourself a favor and stop messing with drugs because it’s fucking with you more than you know. It’s not going to be possible to grow with actualized work if you’re doing stimulants (cocaine or adderal) and depressing drugs like alcohol. In fact it will make things worse because once you get some awareness with say meditation work, all your problems will be clearly right in front of you but you won’t be able to do anything about them. It’s a lot easier to fuck up your life when you’re unconscious. Consciously fucking up is much harder. 

[inFlow]

@Butters It's a part of the process. Don't block emotions, feel them for what they are, they are pointing you to something. Investigate deeper why they come up, what shadow elements you still have subconsciously. Feeling bad from time to time is a good sign of growth, later you will understand this.