Hopeless - please help.

[beatlemantis]

My deep, intrinsic insecurities are getting the best of me at 20-years-old, and I feel no hope to recover from them. 

I'm aware of the techniques (positive affirmations, etc.) to help cure this belief system inside of me, but lately I've felt no hope to ever get better. I don't believe I can change, that my personality and habits are rooted, and that thought process is scaring me. 

If anyone could reach out, I have a hurting heart and extreme sense of hopelessness. I want to be greater than this, but everything I've been told I am so far is making me self-doubt. I don't know what to do. 

Thank you for listening.

[DrewNows]

Have you tried accepting this unideal state of being? You will know when you’re ready to accept it because all the emotions will come flooding to the surface and you will then expel all the negative energy or resistance.

if this doesn’t sound so easy right now then be gentle and talk to yourself (the inner child needs your love/support), you aren’t your conditioned thought or behaviors, they are just a program to rewire. Keep in mind change isn’t forced, it’s allowed like caterpillar evo butterfly, pure magic. Question (not judge) every arising thought, explore every emotion/sensation. We all come to these road blocks, that’s life, and the question can be ‘how best to move through them?’

Edited December 3, 2019 by DrewNows

[Nickyy]

7 hours ago, beatlemantis said:

I don't believe I can change, that my personality and habits are rooted, and that thought process is scaring me. 

Can you take a step back from yourself and watch yourself change?

Surely you have noticed that some days you feel good and on top of things and other days you don't, you feel insecure, weak, unsure, low, desperate?

Can you see change constantly happening in yourself?

Can you see that yourself changes?

Can you see that because yourself changes it can't be real?

If you can see all of these things about your experience, does it still make sense to hold onto the belief that you cannot change? 

[silene]

Bless you. Well done for reaching out, compassion and love from here. At 20 you are still learning your potential and talents. Just being young is a risk of feeling self-doubt and anxiety about your future. Do you remember how you felt as a young child, were you happy, carefree and confident at trying new things? It's a common pattern for childhood exuberance and joy for life to be drained out of us by society as we grow up into youth. But please believe me, it is possible to change and move into a place where you can release your potential. 

I agree with the other advice. Also suggest that you try to turn your doubt back on itself. Instead of believing your negative thoughts, just see it as an open question.

Instead of saying "I can't do this, I'm no good ...",

try "I haven't tried this before, maybe I can do it. I'll keep an open mind and give it a go and find out what I'm capable of. I don't know until I properly tried." 

In other words, can you let go of assumptions and judgements, and create some space for new possibilities to develop. It will take time, you may be a beginner at something, so remember to celebrate small achievements, and don't be perfectionist. Take your time, Rome wasn't built in a day.  

Very best wishes, life has stops and starts, twists and turns, but in the end it's all impermanent, this bad patch will end and you can move on. There's always a chance to let go of the past and move on. 

Edited December 3, 2019 by silene

[mandyjw]

Can you imagine if you were a character in a story? Now imagine that you are playing that character but who you truly are is the author of that story. Wouldn't you throw some challenges in your character's way so she can evolve into what you envisioned in her all along? Wouldn't you as the author rejoice in writing the turning point in the story, when the desire to be greater becomes too big for her to ignore? 

Focus on the desire, focus on what you want to become, knowing that you already are whole, you already are that. The book is already written, but we're here to enjoy the story as it unfolds. When we get too invested in the character it helps to take a step bad, to check in with the author. Meditation, stillness, becoming aware of our thoughts and always moving towards a better feeling thought helps us to do this easier and easier. 

You are loved. The author loves you, we love you, we really do. The colors, the music, the beauty all around is here, just for you. You just have to match up with all that love and love yourself as much as we already do. And you already have. (I already peeked in the back of the book for you, and it's true.)

[Nahm]

@beatlemantis ♥️

Insecurity is not intrinsic, nor deep. It’s the feeling, telling you the thoughts aren’t true about you at all. 

It the choosing of thoughts which do not feel good, which do not align with your inner being, the infinitely loving source within you.

Those people you are listening to, and believing, that have an inner being to...let them off the hook, let them choose their thoughts, and feel their feelings. You can choose yours, and align, and feel your source for yourself. 

Listen to the feeling, and let it guide you in the choosing of thoughts. 

You are not supposed to feel bad, life is supposed to be fun!

Tough to shoot a hole in this... It is because you’re awesome, that thoughts to the contrary will never resonate.

[Ananta]

20 hours ago, DrewNows said:

Have you tried accepting this unideal state of being? You will know when you’re ready to accept it because all the emotions will come flooding to the surface and you will then expel all the negative energy or resistance.

I second this ?

[Dumuzzi]

You're 20. You literally need to grow up. 

The person you are growing into bears no relation to the person you are now. 

Trust the process of change and that you are becoming something more and better.

Do not be impatient with yourself, what you need is self-love and self-acceptance, chill and giving yourself time.

[LeoX8]

@beatlemantis I understand you but by asking yourself if you can do it or not you won't go anywere.

The question you should ask yourself is:

"Do I want to be better? Do I want to be happy?"

I hope that this can help you in some way