Peter Ralston 5 Week Retreat & 2 Week Dark Room Retreat - Writeup

[Bluebird]

14-Day Dark Room Retreat

On the first night, I entered around 7 pm and after getting comfortable with the space blew out the candle. Darkness. I will struggle to talk about how long I did anything for as I lost a clear sense of duration or time passing. I managed to maintain a day/night cycle though.

My primary practice was contemplation, after a while of focused contemplation (and particularly in the second week) I found the contemplation fading away into meditation. The not-knowing became natural and blissful. I could sit effortlessly in love or fulfilment for hours.

Generally, after a period of bliss, love, or samadhi I would experience mini ego-backlashes of fantasising and boredom. I found myself accepting this after a while. Expansion... and now I'm a person again.

My fantasies got strange. I started dreaming of work, success, and business. Thinking about the intricacies of burgers. Childhood memories of certain places and foods. Food was a big one this time around. I would often realise I'm doing this and it's all occurring in my mind. It's imagination, not real, it's not actually here and I'm the one doing it.

On day one I got hit with all of my hallucinations. I slept a little during day one, after that it became hard to sleep so I just had to keep contemplating through the night since there was nothing else I could do and if I lied down I would be more likely to fall into fantasising.

I had hallucinations of a friend sitting on my bed, I could see him clearly. 

I hallucinated leaving the room, going outside and speaking with people. I realised this was a dream and started speaking with people conscious of this.

I started being able to see the room as clear as day, without light. I was hallucinating this.

I experiencing the room turning into an orchestral symphony, and realised I was composing an entire song unconsciously with my mind. Lyrics and all, like I was listening to it through stereo headphones.

I did not do this for the hallucinations, I had come for the Truth. From day two onwards, there were no more of these.

The first 5 or 6 days weren't too tough if I recall correctly. Days 6 - 8 were the hardest, knowing I had another week to go. On day 8, I got a nice hit of effortless sitting, bliss, love. This was a confirmation of trust and surrender for me. I could feel presence giving me the consciousness, almost whispering to me: I'm always here, just trust, you really think I would ever do anything but love you.

The second week my contemplation got more fluid. I started contemplating:

• What is invention
• What is mind
• What is innovation
• What is technology
• What is love
• What is eternity
• What is reality
• What am I
• What is life
• What is self
• What is another
• What is death

I'm experimenting with my contemplation style. I had just worked on a single question for 2 weeks in a Contemplation Intensive. This time I would switch a lot more. I also found that I was by far the most conscious in the early afternoons through evenings. And felt the least conscious shortly after waking up.

I also made some new distinctions in my experience based on Ralston's consciousness work.

I didn't lose myself in Nothing/Love/Truth. I expanded my sense of self, purged some resistance. I didn't have what I consider a full non-dual awakening. But I can be lightly conscious of God, perhaps somewhere between catching and taming the ox (or maybe not, just my intepretation).

When I departed I didn't know what to expect. I felt pretty normal in the darkroom, sober and not all that conscious at that moment an hour or so after waking up.

I opened the door at sunrise. I took a few steps and then had to sit down because I was so conscious, so high, I couldn't stand. I couldn't walk more than a few steps without losing my balance. Reality was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, colours, form, sound. Life. I could feel myself in the plants, I marvelled at my hands, how amazing it all is. It was divine, I had no idea I was this high in there.

It was stronger than any acid trip I'd ever done, barring a 600ug trip. It was akin to a light 5-MeO microdose. And, it can't be compared. There is an unfathomable beauty in being that conscious and being completely sober. It feels so right, that reality is actually this good, actually, not with anything else needing to be there.

I have some signs when I'm going deeper, guidances. The presence of a dog, or what I can only describe as guiding Sam-energy.

Within seconds of stepping out, a beautiful dog came and sat with me. There was a love between us, he licked me, I stroked him.

I did a meditation that morning, and then stood in the sun. The sun was a warm loving bliss. I'd never appreciated the sun this much in my life.

I've come down a bit since then. I can still see God in the trees if I focus. My baseline has been significantly upped.

I was offered a little weed a few days after getting out. I had a very small amount and it was perhaps the most insightful and blissful yet intense experiences with weed. I feel so much more purified now as well, I can sit with people in a deep not-knowing without much fear, letting myself be authentic without much fear.

I will keep becoming more God, truly appreciate life and reality more fully, what I am. Live in not-knowing and no-mind. I am able to be more comfortable operating in no-mind now, there is less fear in me and more trust.

It didn't solve everything. I'm still worried about survival concerns, what to make my career out of, to pursue business or spirituality. I struggle with this one a lot. I still get sadness and existential emptiness at times. The journey has only just begun.

Peter Ralston Fall Series

I did the entire fall series workshop, ending in a 2-week long contemplation intensive. This is (I believe), the only time that a 2 weeker has been offered at the Cheng Hsin centre. It was perfect, I would have struggled much more with the darkroom had I not just done this.

The consciousness work itself was great, Brendan Lea was our primary facilitator. I had concerns about the work not being led by Ralton, but they were completely unfounded. Brendan was great to work with, and it was work.

It wasn't easy, long days and deep work. I didn't grasp a lot, of course. The seeds were planted and my ability to do consciousness work effectively has increased.

My only suggestion to those intending to do it, expect to also NEED to get the audio courses and eCourses afterwards. There is too much and it goes fast, you won't get it all and will need to do the work ongoing.

This consciousness work is pretty advanced, so I wouldn't go to the centre without some prior consciousness. Just a little bit should be fine, who knows, go and see for yourself I guess.

I wasn't a big fan of the Enlightenment Intensive format. I feel I can go deeper by myself, without a partner. The partner is there to help focus and not get so lost in fantasy. I definitely get lost in daydreaming or losing the question when I'm alone, it's more fluid. If reality starts to feel beautiful, I go into the beauty for a bit. The CI was not like this.

There is an appreciation for life that I have when getting out of these intensives. It is so beautiful, so entertaining. It's hard to imagine a better place to spend my time, I'm so happy to have this life to deepen consciousness. Learn and grow. 

 

Please ask me about the experience, I would love to answer any questions or help clarify my experience with Ralston, Brendan and the Cheng Hsin centre or the darkroom.

❤️Thank you, much love, and I wish all of you courage and determination on your own journeys. It's worth it. ❤️

[Consilience]

Still working on trying to write my write up, I attended the fall series as well! I only did the ENB and TSW though... so much to integrate that Ive felt paralysis trying to write a cohesive write up. 

Maybe ill add it to this thread instead of starting another thread or maybe Ill start another haha. 

Also a darkroom retreat is intense af after doing all 5 weeks of Cheng Hsin!! Great report  

Edit: Also +1 to Brendan being a great facilitator. Was bummed Peter wasn’t leading but seriously Brendan was phenomenal. 

Edited December 2, 2019 by Consilience

[Consilience]

Have you had much of an opportunity implementing the Principles into your life?

So far, the Do It Now and Get Shit Done have been absolute game changers. They’re so simple but so so so effective. 

[Bluebird]

@Consilience I've been implementing those principles yes. Goes against my natural tendency to resist certain activities.

[Nahm]

Great work! Thanks for such a great share??

[Kalki Avatar]

Did they teached you something in order to improve contemplation practice? 

What is to contemplate in essence, from your experience? 

[Bluebird]

@Kalki Avatar The facilitator would assist you in trying to grasp something and have an insight into your experience. The act of doing it intensely for an extended period of time was the major factor in the improvement, in my estimate.

To contemplate is to not know about your experience deeply, until you become conscious of something true. How's that? 

[Petals]

@Consilience would you mind writing a sentence or two about 'Do It Now' or 'Get Shit Done'? It sounds simple enough, but was there a specific insight that made them game changers for you? I'm just curious.

[Sev]

Cool! Did you get to meet Ralston at all? I plan to participate in the future.

[archi]

@Bluebird  Your experience of reality after dark-retreat reminds me of me having first bite of food after 3 weeks of water fasting. Great work!

[Consilience]

@Petals For sure but to properly explain imma need more than a few sentences so hopefully you don’t mind.

The way I think of Principles is that they’re almost these psycho-existential operating systems for behavior. They aren’t beliefs, they aren’t concepts, and they aren’t better or worse than any other way of living life; this is what Peter and Brendan both seemed to both stress anyways. Instead, Principles are simply ways of living life that create sets of outcomes. They limit the ego’s available options for behavior and paradoxically, this limiting of available choices manifests an interesting and powerful freedom. 

So for example, Do It Now: When you notice your bed needs to be made, the kitchen needs cleaning, your computer desktop needs organizing, food need to be prepped, you stop trying to plan when these small little day to day tasks get done. When I feel lethargic and notice dishes in the sink, I dont put it off for later. I do that shit now. It basically helps declutter your life from the things you already have to do by doing them immediately and not creating excuses for putting it off for later. Once I implemented this, I noticed how often I put off small tasks. So my behavior had to transform to align with the energy of this principle.

Get Shit Done: You live your life getting shit done. Stop wasting time doing bullshit. Stop being distracted. Just start noticing how much shit that needs done, and start DOING IT. Very simple. But when someone actual makes the decision to live life this way 24/7, serious momentum starts to accumulate. When you notice yourself wasting time, the incongruency with this principle will be felt in the mind and body; it’s precisely the directed decision to implement the Get Shit Done that helps manifest the momentum instead of a yo-yo of productivity and laziness that people often experience when trying to be productive. But there’s one final principle worth mentioning that holds the web of this whole system together.

Integrity: Imagine living a life where your word actually meant something. A world where when you tell yourself, “Im going to do x,y, and z” and you actually fucking do it. This principle is you essentially creating absolute accountability with yourself and your own word, true genuine self-honesty and self-trust. So when I tell myself, “oh Im going to implement the get shit done and do it now principles into my life after this workshop.” I actually do it. I actually can trust myself to not backslide. This one is actually extremely profound because your word suddenly has the CONSISTENT power to manipulate the future... very heavy metaphysical implications Im still contemplating on. I digress. 

So yeh sorry for being long winded, but I felt like this was a more genuine response. 

Edited December 3, 2019 by Consilience

[Petals]

@Consilience thanks a lot for the detailed answer!!!

[Recursoinominado]

2 hours ago, Consilience said:

@Petals For sure but to properly explain imma need more than a few sentences so hopefully you don’t mind.

The way I think of Principles is that they’re almost these psycho-existential operating systems for behavior. They aren’t beliefs, they aren’t concepts, and they aren’t better or worse than any other way of living life; this is what Peter and Brendan both seemed to both stress anyways. Instead, Principles are simply ways of living life that create sets of outcomes. They limit the ego’s available options for behavior and paradoxically, this limiting of available choices manifests an interesting and powerful freedom. 

So for example, Do It Now: When you notice your bed needs to be made, the kitchen needs cleaning, your computer desktop needs organizing, food need to be prepped, you stop trying to plan when these small little day to day tasks get done. When I feel lethargic and notice dishes in the sink, I dont put it off for later. I do that shit now. It basically helps declutter your life from the things you already have to do by doing them immediately and not creating excuses for putting it off for later. Once I implemented this, I noticed how often I put off small tasks. So my behavior had to transform to align with the energy of this principle.

Get Shit Done: You live your life getting shit done. Stop wasting time doing bullshit. Stop being distracted. Just start noticing how much shit that needs done, and start DOING IT. Very simple. But when someone actual makes the decision to live life this way 24/7, serious momentum starts to accumulate. When you notice yourself wasting time, the incongruency with this principle will be felt in the mind and body; it’s precisely the directed decision to implement the Get Shit Done that helps manifest the momentum instead of a yo-yo of productivity and laziness that people often experience when trying to be productive. But there’s one final principle worth mentioning that holds the web of this whole system together.

Integrity: Imagine living a life where your word actually meant something. A world where when you tell yourself, “Im going to do x,y, and z” and you actually fucking do it. This principle is you essentially creating absolute accountability with yourself and your own word, true genuine self-honesty and self-trust. So when I tell myself, “oh Im going to implement the get shit done and do it now principles into my life after this workshop.” I actually do it. I actually can trust myself to not backslide. This one is actually extremely profound because your word suddenly has the CONSISTENT power to manipulate the future... very heavy metaphysical implications Im still contemplating on. I digress. 

So yeh sorry for being long winded, but I felt like this was a more genuine response. 

Hey, this seems incredible work. 

How did you come up with those principles? It was a task in the retreat to contemplate about what are principles, or what do it now means, etc?

Can i have access to those teachings?

[Consilience]

@Petals Fosho!  

@Recursoinominado Thank you yes it felt incredible. It felt like everyone at the workshop felt the utility of these and I hope everyone’s been successful with implementation. 

The ones I listed where given to us by Brendan, I can’t take credit. But the possibilities are endless, and he encouraged us to contemplate and discover new ones for ourselves, so basically you already have access to them you just have to discover them  

Other examples:

Happiness, effectiveness, effortlessness, appreciation, compassion, patience, honest communication.

It could be anything really so yeah it’s fun to contemplate. Id give yourself time to slowly implement them though. I haven’t been 100% perfect, and the ego isn’t going to like integrity, for example, so taking it slow and being methodical with transforming yourself is what they advised. 

[White Monk]

@Bluebird you might like a different intensive, they are massively powerful. Especially if you tell the truth, it’s the one place where I’ve seen non psychedelic awakening experiences happen.

I heard not good things about Ralston Intensives, not something I’d ever want to be a part of, but glad you learned from it. I’ve had multiple very deep awakening experiences on 3 day retreats, and 2-week retreats I’ve been to most of them. You might like a different teacher honestly, although idk, if you think you can go deeper alone go with that feeling. 

 

[White Monk]

@Consilience thanks for sharing as well I like to hear about these longer contemplative and life changing periods ☯️