DMT trip went farther than anticipated

[Dlavjr]

I've done DMT about 20 times in the last maybe 6 months since I first tried it. Last night, I was hanging out with a friend and she and I were smoking DMT. I did a decent amount at first (unfortunately I don't own a scale so I can't properly dose myself, I know that's a pretty risky and ignorant way to do a drug as strong as DMT) and I had a regular DMT with all the geometric shapes, nothing too crazy. However, the SECOND time, I actually smoked less than before, and as soon as I started inhaling I knew something felt different. 

Suddenly the room started going red, and everything started trembling and the walls and floors rose around me, then it all collapsed. I was blinded by colors and shapes and suddenly it all became one, everything was just an infinite loop. I looked over at my friend, and I looked at what was happening around me, and it all felt incredible familiar, like I knew that somehow, some way I had seen it all before. I can't quite make out everything that happened, a lot of the trip is foggy now, but I vividly remember seeing indescribable beings and shapes and colors, and for some ungodly reason when I looked at my German Shepard she looked like a hellhound. The poor thing was simply playing with a sweater on the floor but on the trip it looked as though she was tearing blood and guts out of the floor. Towards the end of the peak it was just psychological hell, the floor was a pool of blood, and I could swear to you that I was covered in blood as well. 

I'm very thankful that somebody else was there to calm me as I came down, but, can any of you make sense of all this for me? I've done a decent amount of self inquiry, meditation, studying enlightenment, but honestly not that much that I can really comprehend what happened. What throws me for a loop even more so, is that I only did a small amount the second time. The night prior, I did triple what I did last night, and it was intense to where my mind and reality became one, and there was no difference between anything, but this time I did so little and it felt like I slipped through a crack in reality and saw more than I was ready for. Is this normal? 

[Nahm]

The perspective of the having seen it all before is of the true self, the actuality behind the thought / belief “death”, the absolute. The morbid stuff is symptomatic of going a bit faster with a psychedelic than your thought construct of being a separate self was yet deconstructed properly. Imagery projected in refusal of self acceptance (that you are eternal & infinite love). Simply put, thought hijacked feeling. 

You can logically note this, in the being very thankful that somebody else was there to calm me down. There really wasn’t anything to be ‘un-calm’ about, that is just thoughts rooted in identity, that Is resistance held, playing out. The same day to day resistance, with the gas of psychedelics poured on it. This is why psychedelics are referred to as The Truth, and Absolute. Self referential thoughts are relative, and of condition & limitation. These do not hold up “in the face of” what is absolute. 

Let go of the notion of “normal”. It’s just a relative opinion, it is not an absolute measuring stick by which one can actually compare one’s self, any experience, to, because one does not have a self. Believing the thought “normal”, is believing in the ”comparison”, resulting in holding you, as a “separate self”. 

Consider the difference between taking a psychedelic based on a goal or a need, vs just for fun, because you enjoy the trip. Give your dog (God) a hug after all that projection.  

Bridge “the gap” between the separate, or relative self (thoughts), and the actuality, or absolute (without self referential thoughts), by writing about how you feel. Venture to go deeper and deeper in articulating feelings, and the “gap” between wave & particle (actuality of awareness & identification with physical body) begins to evaporate, positioning you for a full, and much much more pleasant breakthrough. Articulation is communication, and communication is wonderful for getting down to what can not be communicated.  You might not even need the psychedelic. 

A suggestion, as an ‘exercise’, if you’re inclined...rewrite, entirely, what you wrote above...but just swap out the word “ I “, with the word “awareness”. 

[Dlavjr]

20 minutes ago, Nahm said:

The perspective of the having seen it all before is of the true self, the actuality behind the thought / belief “death”, the absolute. The morbid stuff is symptomatic of going a bit faster with a psychedelic than your thought construct of being a separate self was yet deconstructed properly. Imagery projected in refusal of self acceptance (that you are eternal & infinite love). Simply put, thought hijacked feeling. 

You can logically note this, in the being very thankful that somebody else was there to calm me down. There really wasn’t anything to be ‘un-calm’ about, that is just thoughts rooted in identity, that Is resistance held, playing out. The same day to day resistance, with the gas of psychedelics poured on it. This is why psychedelics are referred to as The Truth, and Absolute. Self referential thoughts are relative, and of condition & limitation. These do not hold up “in the face of” what is absolute. 

Let go of the notion of “normal”. It’s just a relative opinion, it is not an absolute measuring stick by which one can actually compare one’s self, any experience, to, because one does not have a self. Believing the thought “normal”, is believing in the ”comparison”, resulting in holding you, as a “separate self”. 

Consider the difference between taking a psychedelic based on a goal or a need, vs just for fun, because you enjoy the trip. Give your dog (God) a hug after all that projection.  

Bridge “the gap” between the separate, or relative self (thoughts), and the actuality, or absolute (without self referential thoughts), by writing about how you feel. Venture to go deeper and deeper in articulating feelings, and the “gap” between wave & particle (actuality of awareness & identification with physical body) begins to evaporate, positioning you for a full, and much much more pleasant breakthrough. Articulation is communication, and communication is wonderful for getting down to what can not be communicated.  You might not even need the psychedelic. 

This is incredible sound advice, thank you. Forgive me for my lack of understanding, because I'm pretty young on this journey and I've without a doubt been cast into something far bigger than I think I was ready for, but just to clarify you're saying that I should be dissociating my sense of self from what I feel, and experience the feeling from a more meta state, as in objectively experiencing the trip rather than identifying it and experiencing it subjectively? It's hard to put accurately into words what I felt and how I experienced it, especially because it's all a haze now, but I remember watching in amazement but also there was an underlying fear, especially towards the end of the peak and the comedown when I saw the more morbid visions, and reality began to reconstruct. I still had recognition of where I was and who I was with, it felt almost like a portal was opened up and I was getting sucked into it, but I definitely resisted out of weariness of whether or not I could handle it. I'm thinking I'll rely on drugs less to reach these experiences, and focus more on meditation and self inquiry. I'm just having trouble understanding the best way to make sense of what I experienced, or if there's any use in making sense of it at all. 

[Nahm]

@Dlavjr ??  The thought ’disassociate’ , that thought’s flavor, or color, or implication, or content...is fundamentally of separation. Rather... a thought is just, a thought. Allow the content, the implication to simply come, and simply go. Much like a joke comes and goes. It is enjoyed, appreciated for the feeling, but a joke is not “believed”, held, etc. 

Thought plays an important role in creation & the expansion of consciousness - in the creation of the life you truly want. Rather than articulating on the memory of the experience, write about how you are feeling, right now. You cannot create in the memory, only in the now.  If the past or future comes up in any way, let thoughts about them go, and write about the feelings present right now. Understanding = being...and being is always arising, always ‘at the ready’. In no longer believing the thoughts, in focusing on feeling the feelings, understanding naturally arises. A “body” is a word, a thought. The actuality is closer to infinite intelligence. Beyond choosing a thought aligned with experience you want to experience, to create, thought just gets in the way of infinite intelligence. 

A thought arises, and the thought is about you...the content of the thought... is a “you”... there is no need to believe the thought. You could choose another thought, one about what you want, about what you want to create.

4 hours ago, Dlavjr said:

my mind and reality became one, and there was no difference between anything

That points to Truth, a glimpse.  

Then thoughts about yourself arise, as they previously had, and are again, believed, as they were before  - this could be said to  dual-I’s  (dualize) the experience, of right now. It makes it seem like there is a “you”, separate of the experience. The experience, and “the one” trying to understand (the believed-to-be-separate) experience. Understanding is “itself” just experience, it comes and goes, and does not require a “separate understander”. You are the now which experience “transpires” in, and you are experience. 

Rule out all that you are not, all that is not actually, separate. Start from the premise that you are infinity, and notice any thoughts which attempt to separate, or “carve out” a “you”. 

 

Post trip....

Then a pronoun, “me” and the noun “reality” is added. A subtle thought path, which is fundamentally based on twoness, you, and reality.

 A thought arises... “my mind and reality became one”. You have only ever been One. You have never actually experienced being two. If that thought is believed, a separate self is created (only in thought). The thought I became or merged with reality follows, and claims the experience, indirectly, this create an idea of a me, “the claimer”. All that happened in actuality, is via the chemical, most of such thoughts were ‘unavailable’, and there was the One, which you are right now. If you will...The One, aware of , thoughts. 

Afterwards, there is a desire to understand what transpired. “What happened...to me”. And thus, there is already the sneaky, slippery slope of dualistic self referential thoughts believed. A beautiful experience is a beautiful experience. It is not mine. 

The most ideal outcome which could arise from understanding what transpired, would be feeling amazing, and free of any suffering. Unfettered by concerns, living, loving, and creating the life you truly dream of experiencing is well underway. Notice these thoughts of separation, be willing to explore the acuity of feeling (deeper articulation & expression = clarity), and such thoughts are no longer fueled, and no longer arise. 

 

Short hand: There’s no “you”, that’s a thought.

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

Out of curiosity, how long did the visions of blood everywhere seem to last in your mind? Not how long the trip was in real time but did it seem to stay like that for a good period of time? And did this trigger a fear or panic response immediately? Or was it more of an uncomfortable feeling of confusion? 

[Dlavjr]

1 minute ago, TrynaBeTurquoise said:

Out of curiosity, how long did the visions of blood everywhere seem to last in your mind? Not how long the trip was in real time but did it seem to stay like that for a good period of time? And did this trigger a fear or panic response immediately? Or was it more of an uncomfortable feeling of confusion? 

The whole thing felt like it went on for an hour, it's hard to pinpoint really but the negative visions lasted probably 15 minutes relative to that. I was in kind of a shock of what I was seeing, a lot of disbelief that it was happening, and I felt almost a sick feeling in my whole body (at this point in the trip I could feel a body again, at the start I felt limitless). 

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

9 minutes ago, Dlavjr said:

The whole thing felt like it went on for an hour, it's hard to pinpoint really but the negative visions lasted probably 15 minutes relative to that. I was in kind of a shock of what I was seeing, a lot of disbelief that it was happening, and I felt almost a sick feeling in my whole body (at this point in the trip I could feel a body again, at the start I felt limitless). 

I would definitely invest in a scale to weigh it out. Can get good ones for relatively cheap online. Maybe try to eyeball out of memory the dose you took on the scale and see how much that was to get an idea, then compare with dosage intensities online. Maybe you took a lot more than you were ready for. 

Simple things like this I think will influence your subconscious before the trip, knowing you're doing it in the most responsible way possible and having a way to measure out the dose beforehand so you aren't just jumping in with maybe some hidden subconscious anxiety of not knowing it. 

[Dlavjr]

9 minutes ago, TrynaBeTurquoise said:

I would definitely invest in a scale to weigh it out. Can get good ones for relatively cheap online. Maybe try to eyeball out of memory the dose you took on the scale and see how much that was to get an idea, then compare with dosage intensities online. Maybe you took a lot more than you were ready for. 

Simple things like this I think will influence your subconscious before the trip, knowing you're doing it in the most responsible way possible and having a way to measure out the dose beforehand so you aren't just jumping in with maybe some hidden subconscious anxiety of not knowing it. 

I agree wholeheartedly, but the part that gets me is that I know for sure I've done higher doses before. The night prior, I put two pretty decent scoops (I use a dab tool to scoop and an herbal vaporizer to smoke) and when I did that I had an intense experience where when I closed my eyes I felt my mind collapse and I dissolved into being one with everything in the room. Last night when I did it however, I did what looked like a third of that dose. The only logical explanations I could come up with were that there was some left in the vape that I didn't know about, that perhaps me having a minor cold and taking over the counter cold medicine might have made a difference, or perhaps it was a completely random coincidence where I just had some kind of an epiphany. I'm grateful for what I experienced but I'd rather experience such things intentionally ?.

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

29 minutes ago, Dlavjr said:

I agree wholeheartedly, but the part that gets me is that I know for sure I've done higher doses before. The night prior, I put two pretty decent scoops (I use a dab tool to scoop and an herbal vaporizer to smoke) and when I did that I had an intense experience where when I closed my eyes I felt my mind collapse and I dissolved into being one with everything in the room. Last night when I did it however, I did what looked like a third of that dose. The only logical explanations I could come up with were that there was some left in the vape that I didn't know about, that perhaps me having a minor cold and taking over the counter cold medicine might have made a difference, or perhaps it was a completely random coincidence where I just had some kind of an epiphany. I'm grateful for what I experienced but I'd rather experience such things intentionally ?.

Maybe it goes deeper than what you are thinking. About your cold, even if minor that is an illness in your body that is definitely related to a mind/body interaction about stress in your life perhaps. Something deeper going on emotionally, that could've caused this trip. 

Don't dismiss a cold as just a cold, it definitely goes deeper than that. Even if you attribute it to pure physical reasons, such as your immune system being exposed to some pathogens or you eating something shitty, its all connected in the mind/body stress response. Some things to contemplate. 

Don't let it discourage you though. Keep charging forward responsibly and im sure you will overcome this and get many great trips in the future. Try to see the humor in what happened with the blood scenery best you can as well, even if it seems strange. Just my advice, I am no expert in this but these are things I try and do myself. 

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, Dlavjr said:

can any of you make sense of all this for me?

It's easily explained. Since you are God, your mind constructs/imagines all of reality. The psychedelic expands your consciousness and will power such that whatever you start to imagine starts to physically manifest. If your mind starts imagining blood, you start to see blood. There is no limit to what you can imagine. This can lead to some freaky trips, especially if you have a poorly disciplined or impure mind.

[Dlavjr]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It's easily explained. Since you are God, your mind constructs/imagines all of reality. The psychedelic expands your consciousness and will power such that whatever you start to imagine starts to physically manifest. If your mind starts imagining blood, you start to see blood. There is no limit to what you can imagine. This can lead to some freaky trips, especially if you have a poorly disciplined or impure mind.

So what I'm gathering from everybody here is that my thoughts took control and led the trip into a spiral, i.e. I felt resistance and I thought fear, so my mind conjured up fearful images and thoughts that altered the course of the trip. Because at the start of it, I felt a little overwhelmed, but I wasn't necessarily in fear, just in awe of discovering what was a massive truth of reality that I had not yet experienced, and it slowly changed into a lot more morbid visions. Is this a good indication that there's a lot of shadow work that I need to do, that perhaps there are much underlying, deeply subconscious thoughts that I've not come to face until now? Or is it that I've not yet gotten to a point where I'm able to let go of my ego in order to objectively experience a trip? 

[cetus]

8 hours ago, Dlavjr said:

and for some ungodly reason when I looked at my German Shepard she looked like a hellhound. The poor thing was simply playing with a sweater on the floor but on the trip it looked as though she was tearing blood and guts out of the floor. Towards the end of the peak it was just psychological hell, the floor was a pool of blood, and I could swear to you that I was covered in blood as well. 

@Dlavjr Was just watching a video about mother aya and it said experiences as you describe above are part of a purging process. 

 

[Dlavjr]

7 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Dlavjr Was just watching a video about mother aya and it said experiences as you describe above are part of a purging process. 

 

Interesting perspective, could you elaborate/link the video? 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Dlavjr said:

So what I'm gathering from everybody here is that my thoughts took control and led the trip into a spiral, i.e. I felt resistance and I thought fear, so my mind conjured up fearful images and thoughts that altered the course of the trip. Because at the start of it, I felt a little overwhelmed, but I wasn't necessarily in fear, just in awe of discovering what was a massive truth of reality that I had not yet experienced, and it slowly changed into a lot more morbid visions. Is this a good indication that there's a lot of shadow work that I need to do, that perhaps there are much underlying, deeply subconscious thoughts that I've not come to face until now? Or is it that I've not yet gotten to a point where I'm able to let go of my ego in order to objectively experience a trip? 

It wasn't even fear per se. Your mind just happened to drift off into images of blood and you did nothing to change it so it just got stuck in an echochamber of bloodly imagery. Then you got scared because what you imagined started to materialize before you and you were confused about how this was possible. You were terrified by the power of your own imagination and it didn't even occur to you to control it.

This is all normal. You must learn that your imagination is very powerful, so be careful how you use it, or how you let it use you.

You can avoid such trippy detours by giving your trips a strong intention. Guide your mind towards what you wish you contemplate so your trip isn't just a random dream.

It's important to not get lost in the content of one's trips but rather to focua on going meta, contemplating the strucuture of consciousness. What I have been describing here is strucuture while your bloody stuff was content.

[Thewritersunion]

@Dlavjr congrats, now you know what Einstein’s Mind was trying to say.  I’ll let you try to think of that on your own.

[pluto]

20 times in 6 months? Jesus lol

It seems you aren't "getting the message".

I haven't done it in years, few experiences are more than enough.

Lay off Psychedelics for a while and start properly integrating the experiences.

 

 

[Dlavjr]

14 minutes ago, pluto said:

20 times in 6 months? Jesus lol

It seems you aren't "getting the message".

I haven't done it in years, few experiences are more than enough.

Lay off Psychedelics for a while and start properly integrating the experiences.

 

 

Is that relatively a lot? I was introduced to the drug by somebody who does it multiple times a week, so for me 20 times in 6 months didn't seem like a large amount. I planned to take a break anyways though, it was an exhausting experience and a lot to take in so I want to stay sober for a while and do exactly that, integrate the experiences. 

[pluto]

59 minutes ago, Dlavjr said:

Is that relatively a lot? I was introduced to the drug by somebody who does it multiple times a week, so for me 20 times in 6 months didn't seem like a large amount. I planned to take a break anyways though, it was an exhausting experience and a lot to take in so I want to stay sober for a while and do exactly that, integrate the experiences. 

These substances we do for consciousness work, expanding ourselves and reconnecting with our true self and dissolving delusions/illusions we have picked up from the world so we can be more of ourselves and live our lives to our fullest potential and pursue our soul mission/calling.

Doing them with the intention of having fun with friends is not wise and little will be gained from the plant medicine/teacher substance/tool.

If you do them with the right intentions in a more spiritual set/setting, you will notice you will gain far more from the experience, especially when you do it alone than with people in a friend/fun/party setting.

100 years ago these substances were only used under guidance of a master shaman because they can leave you energetically out of alignment and can take a lifetime to balance if you aren't properly educated and understanding of what occurs when you take these substances on a energetic level.

Just because others do them online and advise you to do them is not wise because these people are not true shamans, they are still babies when playing with other dimensionalities of existence.

You will find eventually, that Less = More.

Hope this clears somethings up.

 

 

Edited December 3, 2019 by pluto

[Dlavjr]

6 hours ago, pluto said:

These substances we do for consciousness work, expanding ourselves and reconnecting with our true self and dissolving delusions/illusions we have picked up from the world so we can be more of ourselves and live our lives to our fullest potential and pursue our soul mission/calling.

Doing them with the intention of having fun with friends is not wise and little will be gained from the plant medicine/teacher substance/tool.

If you do them with the right intentions in a more spiritual set/setting, you will notice you will gain far more from the experience, especially when you do it alone than with people in a friend/fun/party setting.

100 years ago these substances were only used under guidance of a master shaman because they can leave you energetically out of alignment and can take a lifetime to balance if you aren't properly educated and understanding of what occurs when you take these substances on a energetic level.

Just because others do them online and advise you to do them is not wise because these people are not true shamans, they are still babies when playing with other dimensionalities of existence.

You will find eventually, that Less = More.

Hope this clears somethings up.

 

 

This clears a lot up, thank you. I certainly never intended to use any psychadelic for fun, I only ever used it to learn. In my mind, I was doing it little because it was little relative to what I knew. I guess my problem is that I never had a set intention for where I wanted to go with my trips, and in that sense I used it irresponsibly. I'm definitely not doing any psychadelics until I've spent some more time learning about how to safely trip. 

[Corpus]

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's easily explained. Since you are God, your mind constructs/imagines all of reality. The psychedelic expands your consciousness and will power such that whatever you start to imagine starts to physically manifest. If your mind starts imagining blood, you start to see blood. There is no limit to what you can imagine. This can lead to some freaky trips, especially if you have a poorly disciplined or impure mind.

Maybe I'm wrong but this does not sound fully valid when it comes to vaporized DMT. The speed of evolution of the full DMT breakthrough does not leave temporal space for imagination to imagine and concurrently/sequentially manifest. And that is what is so utterly incredible about the experience and stands distinct from the other routes unless perhaps you take daft sized doses.

DMT is largely a dual experience (as the OPs description would seem to describe) but there are "tricks" which can make it reliably non-dual but take a very settled mind-set at the launch in order to avoid some major headfucking trauma. And the nature of the realization is not the same as that provided by 5 MeO which convinces me of the multiplicity of non-dual being. Its not inferior, just different, and in some ways embodies the "position" that " 'I' am nothing" more than " 'I' am everything/"God"/whatever".

One would need a reliable delivery system (such as the GVG) and take the dose with headphones on playing a suitable track of about 10 minutes duration and just lie back and become the process. All immersive, with no sensation of being a physical being, and a dissolution into an all encompassing unfolding of a show which is not in any way dependant on ones imagination. A pure state of being which if one is up for it is very valuable.

The other aspect which is not generally known is that the dose - effect response can on occasion be utterly unpredictable with lesser doses evincing a much more profound effect, and, albeit less frequently, hyperspace putting a block on entry irrespective of the dose taken even with the GVG.

A scale is vital when working with DMT via vaporization; many very experienced people feel the horror of DMT can exceed that from a rough 5 MeO experience.