One-itis in men : The tragedy of love

[assx95]

If you think she is the one and she is irreplaceable.  And you are chasing her indefinitely, to exhaustion. And your life revolves around her. Then maybe this might open your eyes.

When I realized (It was more of a vision) that romantic love and sex are intimately connected, that I could make love to the one I love, or love the one I make love to, it kind of unified for me, and the duality collapsed.  I immediately knew that I am compatible with an infinite number of romantic and sexual partners, and even though i might make her the one, it isn't absolute. Leo was right about this. 

Sleeping over Leo's video on Love, a week later, it dawned on me, that heartbreak is indeed the sign of Infinite love. That if I truly love her, I would allow her to break my heart and leave me. I would give her Infinite freedom to do whatever makes her happy. Manipulating her, to stay with me, in any way, and not always do we realize we are manipulating, is like tying her up in chains. Maybe she likes BDSM, who knows. Lol. 

I have a theory that : 

When Men realize (I'll say it's subconscious for most)  that women don't have their (Men's) best interests at heart, only their very own. Seeing that very selfishness of women, and blinded by their own, men adopt Blackpill and Redpill Ideologies. 

I'm disillusioned by romantic love, until I fall in love again. 

[oMarcos]

"When Men realize (I'll say it's subconscious for most)  that women don't have their (Men's) best interests at heart, only their very own. Seeing that very selfishness of women, and blinded by their own, men adopt Blackpill and Redpill Ideologies. "

 

So basically men became slave's of women interest, is this is the implication? A real tragedy indeed.

Edited December 2, 2019 by oMarcos

[Preety_India]

 

Both men and women get rejected. 

Your life should not revolve around her. It's upto you to make that choice. 

In fact the more you show to a woman that your life revolves around her, she finds it more repulsive. 

You don't have to indefinitely chase her. You have to chase many. And if they don't respond you have to give up since it's a waste of energy and time. 

If a woman is interested of course she will respond. You need to be patient.. 

A woman is not obligated to submit yo your request because there may be many men chasing her at the same time. It's upto her to decide who she wants to be with. That's not selfishness. 

Blackpill and red pill are just ideologies to fit a theory or behavior. You don't have to stick to them. You have to be authentic. Pilling is just trying to box yourself into a category. In real life we are a mixture of many tendencies. 

 

[assx95]

58 minutes ago, oMarcos said:

So basically men became slave's of women interest, is this is the implication? A real tragedy indeed

There are no implications and no conclusions. The dynamic between the sexes is a flux. 

[assx95]

@Preety_India

I've read everything you said. 

You haven't fully grasped what I was trying to convey and distorted it with your perception of how things work. 

If you read it again, and I highly recommend you do, you'd realize that I wasn't complaining of problems with women, I was trying to throw light on Men's tendency to chase a woman they fall in love with, and a possible way to transcend that. 

Now if you read your reply again, after you've re-read my post, you'd know. 

It's your choice btw, you're not obligated to do any of what I said. 

[Arcangelo]

 

2 hours ago, oMarcos said:

So basically men became slave's of women interest,

Us men are slaves to our own penises.

 

 

Arc

[Nickyy]

@assx95 This is just plain wrong. Women do look after their own interest, but not in a relationship. In a relationship women are very much interested in you and your life purpose, what makes you tick. That's why women get into relationship, they are driven by relationship. Women cannot function well without relationship. 

 

[Preety_India]

4 hours ago, assx95 said:

tendency to chase a woman they fall in love with, and a possible way to transcend that. 

I read your post. I didn't find that possible way. Can you be a little more detailed and explain what that possible way to transcend is? 

The post appeared a bit vague to me like beating around the bush. So a little more clarity might help..

 

[assx95]

47 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Can you be a little more detailed and explain what that possible way to transcend is?

The reason some men end up chasing just one woman, is that they think she is the one. Their only soulmate.  And these are the same men, who jerk off to women on the internet they find sexually attractive, or who find other women sexually attractive. Notice how contradictory those two things are. A collapse of the duality between romantic love and sexual desire or sex, is what I describe here: 

8 hours ago, assx95 said:

When I realized (It was more of a vision) that romantic love and sex are intimately connected, that I could make love to the one I love, or love the one I make love to, it kind of unified for me, and the duality collapsed.  I immediately knew that I am compatible with an infinite number of romantic and sexual partners, and even though i might make her the one, it isn't absolute

That's one way to stop chasing after one woman. 

----

The other is a bit tricky, it requires a kind of balance, i haven't mastered yet. 

It is a kind of awakening of love where you know that even her breaking your heart is a sign of love, a kind of brutal love which makes it possible for her not to be with you. A kind of infinite freedom that you could gift her to do whatever she desires. If such freedom is not given, then there is a lot of clinging onto, and a lot of attachment, hurt and sadness and not to mention, manipulation. Like men threatening to kill themselves if the woman doesn't accept their love or something similar. To know that the deepest way you could love her is by giving her infinite freedom, you end up not chasing her. 

@Preety_India I hope this is clear. I do think I could present ideas more clearly. 

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, assx95 said:

The reason some men end up chasing just one woman, is that they think she is the one. Their only soulmate.  And these are the same men, who jerk off to women on the internet they find sexually attractive, or who find other women sexually attractive. Notice how contradictory those two things are. A collapse of the duality between romantic love and sexual desire or sex, is what I describe here: 

That's one way to stop chasing after one woman. 

----

The other is a bit tricky, it requires a kind of balance, i haven't mastered yet. 

It is a kind of awakening of love where you know that even her breaking your heart is a sign of love, a kind of brutal love which makes it possible for her not to be with you. A kind of infinite freedom that you could gift her to do whatever she desires. If such freedom is not given, then there is a lot of clinging onto, and a lot of attachment, hurt and sadness and not to mention, manipulation. Like men threatening to kill themselves if the woman doesn't accept their love or something similar. To know that the deepest way you could love her is by giving her infinite freedom, you end up not chasing her. 

@Preety_India I hope this is clear. I do think I could present ideas more clearly. 

Good for you. 

 

[Lento]

I think this is speculation.

In the real world, things don't work like that.

[assx95]

10 minutes ago, Lento said:

In the real world, things don't work like that.

I've come a long way. 

I have cried like a baby begging for women to not leave me, multiple times for the same women. I've tried to manipulate them into liking me. Bombing their phones with text. Being passive aggressive in my texts. Blaming them for hurting me. 

Until, I could see through it all. 

I've had my heart chakra open twice,  it feels like cold breeze around the chest. And had an awakening about love (I'm not sure whether I'd call it an awakening) but I could actually see how I was loved despite my love rejecting me. 

It works for me now. It might not work for me tomorrow. Or for you. Or Anyone. Who knows? 

Edited December 2, 2019 by assx95

[Preety_India]

12 minutes ago, assx95 said:

 

I have cried like a baby begging for women to not leave me, multiple times for the same women. I've tried to manipulate them into liking me. Bombing their phones with text. Being passive aggressive in my texts. Blaming them for hurting me.  

Oh, that reeks of desperation. My ex did that. Deluge of texts to beg me. I left him. It scared the shit outta me. 

 

Nothing worse in a relationship more than manipulation and bullying/gaslighting guised as love..

You might want to believe that begging appears as selfless and wanting but if you really want to look deeply at it then ask yourself "why am I doing this? Am I doing this for myself or for her really? Why do I want her when she doesn't want me?" you'll begin to realize that the answer to that question is "you", you don't do it for her, you do it for you and in the same breath you invalidate her needs or disrespect her desires or feelings, pressuring your needs/wants on top of hers. This is no different than forcing her to be with you, used in a careful sweet manner. But it's same thing in different ways, same passive aggressive behavior, only the vehicle is different. Because if you really cared for her needs, you'll value her decision instead of placing blame. So you need to confront the shadow within you that causes you to think it's justifiable to coax her with texts and demand a submission from her against her will. Nothing more selfish than that. When you will realize this in your shadow work you will let her go and find peace and learn that real love originates from care and selflessness.

Let go of the need to attach blame when your needs are not met. They have their space, their freedom, their life and to respect it is to respect their trust they have in you.. 

 

[Nickyy]

2 hours ago, assx95 said:

I've come a long way. 

I have cried like a baby begging for women to not leave me, multiple times for the same women. I've tried to manipulate them into liking me. Bombing their phones with text. Being passive aggressive in my texts. Blaming them for hurting me. 

Until, I could see through it all. 

I've had my heart chakra open twice,  it feels like cold breeze around the chest. And had an awakening about love (I'm not sure whether I'd call it an awakening) but I could actually see how I was loved despite my love rejecting me. 

It works for me now. It might not work for me tomorrow. Or for you. Or Anyone. Who knows? 

Yes, reality is telling you that you're not hitting the mark. You were "sinning" which means missing the point of existence. 

I like the way you take responsibility and don't blame anyone for your errors