How can I reset my sexual fantacies?

[Elham]

I want to get to orgasm easier and faster, experience multiple orgasm, vaginal orgasm and many other. I think my sexual fantacies prevent me to be fully engage in sex. Because it makes me to be aroused only in a particular situation with a particular mental image.

How can I reset my sexual fantacies?

Edited November 29, 2019 by Elham

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Elham we can try solving that problem together 

but - seriously - i would love to get answer for that too

Edited November 29, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Elham]

6 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Elham we can try solving that problem together 

NO thanks 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Elham

[FourSeasons]

@Elham do you want just orgasm or all the proceses? 

First of all you have to understand what is actually sexy for you, what turns you on and share it with your partner. 

You have to to discover yourself by what you feel not what you find on porn sites. Yes this can also be something you can use in your sexual life but you have to think about whats bringing you that sexy mood not concentrate on orgasm. 

It will come when you fully into that mood and you enjoy process that much that brings the orgasm when its time. 

Good luck 

[Applegarden]

@Elham Hey, i havent had sex and i am a male, but i strongly suggest lubrication your emotions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx6Zr6lrTaI

Also meditation should help, becuase if you are blisfull, its easier to feel loving, have the congnition that your parter wants to please you to the extreme and you want to please the partner, another way is when these fantasies come, just observe them. This could probably work aswell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjLt5LUYZhw&t=2271s Maybe increase intimacy, stare at each other and be aware, even if you have to laugh, and even then where do you have to hurry, maybe the foreplay acctually should be long to get the full thing. Why reduce the amount of time for such things. Generally, i have no idea, thats what i would advise my partner and stick to doing myself. So just ideas to think about. Maybe alot of exercise helps too to warm up or smth idk.

[Nahm]

3 hours ago, Elham said:

I want to get to orgasm easier and faster, experience multiple orgasm, vaginal orgasm and many other. I think my sexual fantacies prevent me to be fully engage in sex. Because it makes me to be aroused only in a particular situation with a particular mental image.

How can I reset my sexual fantacies?

You are not that self in the thought story. You are already liberated of this, imposing the limit in believing the thought story. Don’t judge your self, you’re free. 

In accordance, what & who you are wanting to explore with, simply shows up. 

[Elham]

@FourSeasons I know what brings me the sexy mood. That's exactly what I want to change. You know because being aroused by limited sexual fantacies, which my partner may or may not be able to provide, cannot give me the pleasure I want in sex!

[Elham]

@Applegarden thank you. I don't know maybe meditation can directly help this situation. 

[Elham]

@Nahm Excuse me can you elaborate more? I'm not sure I understood what you say.

[Nahm]

@Elham I’d consider what is the comfort factor which exists in the fantasy, but is believed not to be available in ‘real life’. Unless it’s an alien or something, without the resistance to it, you’ll experience it. Maybe even if it was an alien. The limitation of your wanting & belief you can have it, is yours, not a partners. Have you communicated what you are wanting to your / a partner? 

[Elham]

20 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Have you communicated what you are wanting to your / a partner? 

I have. Its not something odd and far fetched. I just want to be able to get to orgasm not just by ONE fantacy. Because not only it may not happen, but also it just leads to one kind of orgasm, clitoral.

[Sucuk Ekmek]

@Elham Seems like you have a solid definition of what is sex and what is not. You are freezing the forms. I think this is the worse thing one may can ever do. Plus you want to get things easier. I don't think the problem is just sexual. Sometimes I just talk to girls about any non-specific topic and I get more pleasure than sex. I dont try to reach out for anything.  As Socrates said: Let the discussion lead the way. 

[Nahm]

@Elham How long have you been sort of ‘fixed’, on this one mental image? And is this image something which can play out with your partner, or something distinct from your partner. Such as your partner is a man, and the mental image is a woman, etc. What is preventing you from having the fantasy, and also exploring the other methods? 

[outlandish]

I don't think it will be productive to try to "reset" your sexual fantasies, I don't think the human mind works like that. I think this is a situation of evolution, not revolution. 

I'm guessing you're just going to have to figure this one out on your own in the end, but I'd suggest entertaining more minor fantasies you have than your main one, and seeing where and how they develop. You can try saving your main one for special occasions (or at least not for every meal), and just see if you can let the other ones grow.

I've noticed with my wife that there is a very specific thing that will get her off every time. I try not to go there every time though because I think it could wear out or get boring, so I think I know where you're "coming" from haha.

[mandyjw]

@ElhamMaybe it's not about the fantasy, it's about the focus the fantasy allows you to have? 

[Nahm]

This is a funny application of teamwork making the dream work.  “We got you, you can totally do this!”

[TRUTHWITHCAPITALT]

@Elham  I think you have self inflicted energy blockages. Psychedelics(esp. 5Meo) will open you up sexually in a way that you would never have imagined. 

If you take out ego, attachment and social structure sex is just exchange exchange of energy. Don't get too hang up on illusions.

Orgasm is just one of manifestations of sexuality.   

 

 

 

[Elham]

@JonasVE12 OMG 

I dont need electric shock! Its not a fetish or anything wierd!

[Elham]

19 minutes ago, TRUTHWITHCAPITALT said:

I think you have self inflicted energy blockages.

Thats the thing I consider to be the reason possibly. 

21 minutes ago, TRUTHWITHCAPITALT said:

Psychedelics(esp. 5Meo) will open you up sexually in a way that you would never have imagined. 

That I would eagerly try but i can't find the stuff here and even if I do, I won't use it. In Iran nothing is pure 

 

22 minutes ago, TRUTHWITHCAPITALT said:

Orgasm is just one of manifestations of sexuality.   

 you mean shouldn't I expect to get to orgasm everytime I have sex?