15mg 4-HO-MET and 1g dry Mushrooms

[RickyBalboa]

I've been experimenting with Metocin(4-HO-MET) in increasing doses over the past couple months. First 1 mg for threshold effects/allergy test. 3 mg for experimenting with microdosing potential. I find metocin to be one of the best psychs I have come across in terms of microdosing. It's noticeable at very small amounts and gives me a very obvious increase in mind-body connection/ proprioception and energy. It's absolutely fantastic for yoga. From my experience I recommend no other psychedlic for microdoing above metocin. Simply fan fucking tastic. Dosing is a bitch with powder and scale so you must dose volumetricly. 10 Mg syringe with alcohol and your desired ratio for microdose. 

Anyway, after a few microdoses I tried 10mg outside at a music festival and got slight but shortlived visuals and all the things that come along with microdoses as well. Very manageable.

The most recent experience involved 15 with a bump of psilocybin to get my off the ground in terms of headspace which I am told Metocin can lack. Alot of reports of a "hollow" experience. Involving no heart or spiritual influence. I found with a small amount of psilocybin that there was enough there to explore some interesting areas. 

My experience lasted about 4 hours and I was able to notice things that would normally be "sub-perceptual" influences to my flow of thought. For example..

 

• I noticed how often I am grabbing at my gentials. Scratching, cupping, tugging at, and just generally encapsulating the intirety of my junk with a semi-clenched fist. I noticed a mental tug as if there was some even more unconsious reasoning why I might be doing this. I haven't gone to deeply on this topic on my own or even with others, but I've seen enough people bring this up to know I'm not alone. Heck you might be grabbing your giblets as I speak while you read this. If my talking about the subject hasn't already sort of influenced you to do it sub-consciously. Mind you this is not a sexual thing I feel in terms of arrousal. My penis stays fairly flacid while doing all this. I feel an underlying sense of security though when doing this so that might be a thing for me to explore next time I encounter this topic in my next experience

 

• I noticed also my minds underlying aversion to putting my finger near or around my mouth after said touching. Usually being cautious and using my knuckles or the back of my hand to satisfy any itch or task that involved the placement of my hand on my face. Clearly there is some processes with regard to hygiene that my mind trys to uphold as to not risk getting sick or whatever. This is most likely also a relation to touching of my ass and or armpits as well. 

 

• Within these urges and aversions I noticed that all these processes exist simultaneously and that my body is a sort of unconscious Survival mode at all waking moments. That alot of my actions and choices are simply a consciousness trapped in a spectrum of extremes simply trying to find solace and consistency. A perpetual balancing act that keeps my consciousness intact. The themes in Leo's video series on Survival really started becoming a real force I can feel acting on me. The videos made perfect sense when I watched them but implications of them became so intrinsically real. I see now that I have to dedicate lots of time to understanding myself and elucidating all the facets of my daily habits and choices with regard to this topic and its relationship with motivated fear and love.

 

 

The last thing I became curious about was my reactions to people when I'm not alone. How my mind allows itself to function and orient itself when In the presence of others. The themes of survival and authoirty began to feel very relevant here. I usually try to be alone when tripping as it feels most conducive to achieving understanding but I still had an urge to mimick the experience of being around alot of people and observing how my and other peoples thoughts are influenced by each other. 

I'm a fan of stand-up comedy becase I find the social dynamic between crowd and performer very interesting. There are so many things going on in these interactions so I decided to explore that by turning on Kill Tony, which is live podcast taped in the Comedy Store, a comedy club in Hollywood, CA. It involves bringing up novice comics up on stage to preform for 1 minute (which usually is a mess) and the judges/comics sort of pick apart their set and proceed to make jokes about the novice. It can be brutal. It can be a very emotional experience as your mind is being jerked around not knowing whether to feel empathetic for the novice or whether to laugh at the judges remarks which can be truly funny at times. There's a battle of authority going on. Your mind begins to reacto to and ask all these questions as volleys are being thrown back and fourth. 

• "Oh, that was harsh, did he go too far?"
• "Did the crowd really not get that joke?"
• "is this material too taboo to speak about?"
• "Should I not be laughing at this?"
• "HA! That joke is only possible to understand with knowledge of X and Y. That was really clever"
• "Wow, that's embarrassing. I would have walked off the stage after that remark. How is he able to take that critisicm"

 

There's so many ideas worth focusing on and trying to pick apart when watching these reactions in its explosive high energy environment. Paying attention to your reactions and how a simple slew of words can send you howling and bent over wheezing. Its just like BAM! It hits you and the combination of your expectations of whats going to be said and your past knowledge sends you into an uncontrollable fit. I felt myself being tugged around like a ragdoll and loved being able to notice my reactions more carefully and trying to pick them apart. 

I know many might have seen this activity of watching standup as indulgent and a waste of time but I find low doses such as this to be valuable in practicing your daily habits and being able to consciously break them apart step by step with feedback while doing said thing. I leave full on contemplation to higher doses where tasks start to become impossible. At that point it seems trying to uphold a task is really not of value anymore.

Thats it. Hope you enjoyed the read and that I have given you something to ponder that you hadn't already thought of yourself. Any feedback or questions is encouraged and appreciated!