Self-Talking? This is problematic!

[hamedsf]

upon years after birth, when your EGO emerged and fledged fully, you developed different things including talking, thinking, etc.

after you learned your mother tongue, you began to talk and interact with those around you, but surprisingly you developed another type of interaction!

if you've ever noticed almost every person on earth has got a voice inside his or her head and you see that people have identified themselves with that voice.

catch yourself once you talk to yourself in your head! notice, who you're talking to? are you two persons interacting together? 

if you observe more and be aware of the whole dysfunctional behavior pattern, you'd see that the "talking self" originates from a really superficial level and your "observer self" is way much deeper than that.

this talking self has created problems in your life and will create more in the future. because this talking self is coming from a limited box aka EGO. this behavior detracts you from a higher or observer self.  so be more observant and turn that voice off.

the irony is that when you teach mindfulness meditation to people, when they're in meditation, they begin talk to themselves: "okay, in my meditation, lemme clear up my thoughts" and they try and try but they fail and again self-talk begins: "goddamit! why the heck this doesn't work? why amn't I good at this? " and they never take it much deeper. now the kicker is, some people who realize self-talk, they kinda try to talk to themselves again to convince themselves not to talk to, they should understand that birds of a feather flock together, you can't eliminate a thought with another thought or a self-talk with another self-talk, ultimately an unconditional observer is required to terminate all of these malicious patterns forever.

[Raptorsin7]

How do we quiet the mind, without using the mind to quiet it? I find after a hard workout or something the mind tends to be quieter and it is easier to meditate, but sometimes the mind is very active and there is no depth to the meditation. I believe connection to the present moment in a way that is ultimately satisfying is the entire goal of spirituality, but how do we go about connecting fully to the present if we do not have experience with it? 

[hamedsf]

34 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

How do we quiet the mind, without using the mind to quiet it? I find after a hard workout or something the mind tends to be quieter and it is easier to meditate, but sometimes the mind is very active and there is no depth to the meditation. I believe connection to the present moment in a way that is ultimately satisfying is the entire goal of spirituality, but how do we go about connecting fully to the present if we do not have experience with it? 

@Raptorsin7 as I said, you can't eliminate thought by thought or a voice with another voice, if you'd do, another thought would rise, an observer camera is needed to observe everything unconditionally non-judgmentally, that's not any part of the mind but coming out of space and time. a mediator should not be a human inside his/her meditation, the problem with beginners is that a beginner gets so empty that he gets back to thought to meditate again or he might speak to himself to make himself back to present moment, because he thinks if he doesn't have thought, he can't meditate properly as he learned with techniques, but he doesn't know that all process of profound meditation is done automatically when techniques are internalized in the long-run. hope you get the point. 

Edited November 27, 2019 by hamedsf

[Raptorsin7]

How easy is for you to get into a mental state of no-self through meditation. A state where are you fully engaged in the present moment, and there is complete satisfaction and loss of self?

[hamedsf]

@Raptorsin7 of course, it's easier said than done, if I'm don't feel sleep and not tired at all, I can reach into that state even in less than 30 seconds. 

[Raptorsin7]

@hamedsf How long did it take you from day 1 of meditation to the point where you could access this state with ease. Do you have any tips to access it? I feel like after I do yoga, and then meditate I can get close but there is still resistance.

[hamedsf]

 @Raptorsin7 it should be done in a time that your mind is a bit detached from daily life activities, since I'm a bit perfectionist, it should be done in absolute darkness, you should find your specific time when your mind is tranquil and still, either early in the morning or late at night. for me, night time is my right time when I'm not feeling sleepy. but finding the right time is not the only factor, you should carefully watch the dark screen of your mind.

[Eph75]

You can stop self-talk through becoming aware of it. Systematically becoming aware will, just as meditation, reduce the length and frequency of self-talk before we become aware. When things happen in life, self-talk is affected, just as meditation is "better" or "worse" depending on the circumstances in our present life.

When becoming aware of self-talk, we can switch to inquiry and try to see patterns in what it is we are procrastinating, so that we can move that thought into the present and take whatever internal or external actions are needed to rid ourselves of the content. This paired with working on calming the mind is quite effective.We can quite quickly find ourselves in a place where the negative self-talk gets quieted down, which gives your mind space to be creative. A somewhat less problematic side-effect is that your mind might switch from negative/costing/problematic self-talk to creative/constructive/exploring self-talk.

Tricky stuff when it comes to the ego, you might be disillusioned to thinking that your self-talk, that is negative, is serving your purpose, which is negative. Even when asking if it's working well for you, you might be so disillusioned that you think it is while in fact it's not.

Depending on what your purpose is, if it's to be 100% in the NOW, that might be quite frustrating. If our purpose is to function and achieve in the illusion of reality, it can be quite useful. Whatever serves your purpose/works well is right in your world. That's all we can do, become more aware and constantly refine that purpose, which might be reduced down to nothing, just being.

Edited November 29, 2019 by Eph75

[hamedsf]

@Eph75 not only did I point my finger to negative self-talk but also did refer to positive self-talk. any self-talk no matter it's positive or negative, it's self-talk and it reinforces the mechanisms of EGO just like negative self-talk does and even you can see positive self-talk doesn't help you to change yourself that much because it originates from a shallow and surface level.

 

[Elham]

I dont believe self talk is as dramtic as you described it.

Thoughts are language and there are theories that suggest there is no thinking without language. 

Aren't you thoughts in a form of language? How do you plan, for example, your tmr without talking to yourself in your mind? 

Of course there are severe cases in which you loose the track and you get lost in dual conversations in your mind. That can be problematic.

Edited November 29, 2019 by Elham

[hamedsf]

@Elham Good question! 

The Ego communicating to itself in many forms but for the most part, it's thoughts in the forms of imagination and inner voice.
saying that without talking to yourself, we can't get things done is shallow thinking and perspective about ourselves, because we have more things in deeper parts that know what will be doing based upon our individual agendas. one of them is feeling or for some people much deeper involved like intuition. for example, it happens a lot to us that when we know that we gotta wake up at 5:00 AM, we see that we wake up instantly in or on time without any conscious interference in the process. 

you might be asking, why the heck even positive self-talk isn't that important? if you're doing positive self-talk right now chances are you will do negative self-talk in the future because their origin is the same: EGO and both types of self-talks reinforce each other indirectly!!

P.S: In some consciousness teachings, they refer to intuition as "inner voice", so watch out not to confuse this stuff together.

[hamedsf]

 

[hamedsf]