How to create lasting habits?

[GGG]

Hey guys,

I am curious if anyone has advice or knows good resources or books about creating new habits and making them last. Usually, when I try to start doing something new on a constant basis it will last for some time but eventually I am likely to stop and never really develop it, unless there is immediate necessity to do it.  Right now I am trying to develop an orderliness/cleanliness habit and keeping my place clean and organized at all times. This is something I have been struggling with for a while now. I am planning to get a book about Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, not sure if it will help though. 

Thanks.

[Sahil Pandit]

@GGG It sometimes takes many months to develop consistency for a habit. You have to build up what i like to call "Positive Momentum".

This is the emotional labor that is required at the beginning of any habit. At first, it's strenuous, hard, and taxing on the system. But after a while, you get over that hump and start to feel good about the habit you're forming.

Example: The first 2-3 days back in the gym can be tedious... but after a week or two things start to naturally flow easier and the progress ensues!

[Rigel]

You can't keep a habit because you don't know what you want from life. If you want to be healthy and you are definit about it then it is only logical that you would eat healthy. VISION.

Why do you want your place to be clean? Is it because you love a clean environment or do you feel like you should because x and y? 

[GGG]

7 minutes ago, Rigel said:

You can't keep a habit because you don't know what you want from life. If you want to be healthy and you are definit about it then it is only logical that you would eat healthy. VISION.

Why do you want your place to be clean? Is it because you love a clean environment or do you feel like you should because x and y? 

This specific habit is motivated by my desire to avoid letting my environment become disorganized and unclean. When everything is in order I feel good about it. For example, I cleaned the toiled yesterday and I feel great when I look down on it as I "relieve myself of toxins". The problem is that I know that eventually I will let it all go - I'll let the dishes pile up, the dirty laundry will eventually be all over the place, the bathroom will become a nightmare, etc. I might maintain it for a bit but eventually I will slip into skipping things one by one, letting my laziness take over an inch at a time. Being vigilant about it doesn't seem to last.

[Aquarius]

Make a reminder on your phone and when it pops up do whatever you gotta do.

[JustThinkingAloud]

5 hours ago, GGG said:

The problem is that I know that eventually I will let it all go - I'll let the dishes pile up, the dirty laundry will eventually be all over the place, the bathroom will become a nightmare, etc. 

I'd be careful with negativity. It's up to you whether you'll clean it or not, don't set yourself up for a failure. So far you're doing great, the fact that you're enjoying the result of it will help a lot in keeping the habit. You will keep it clean when you decide to keep it clean. We are constantly changing so just the fact that you used to be like that doesn't mean that you will keep being the same in the future.

[Alissa]

@GGG I think making habits last is very critical to the motivation behind practicing them in the first place. But especially for tidying and cleaning the house, don't make your motivation be "maintaining the cleanliness of the house" cause this is very counterintuitive, and you'll end up cleaning all day long and not fulfilling your desire. Instead practice this habit once or twice a day for at most 30 minutes (either before going to sleep or after waking up) and what's important is mainting doing the habit. Batching similar tasks together instead of taking 5 min here and there is very helpful too. 

[Dan502]

The folders go on the shelf because that's their home. That's where we like them to be. We take one, we use it, we put it back.

At the weekend, we look around the room. We ask, is it tidy? Is it clean? Just like we clean ourselves in the shower, we must remember to clean the shower too!

When we get home, we ask, have I bought anything? Do I need to put it somewhere?

When we have time off work, do we have a "spring clean?" Do we sort through old drawers and boxes and clothes?

At work, is our desk tidy? Do we know what's in our pockets? Do we know the contents of our wardrobe? Our glovebox? Our bank account? Our mind? Are our thoughts in order? Are our relationships in order?

Where could we start? What's realistic? What's the smallest change that we could be grateful for?

[hamedsf]

Remember this key insight:

whenever you're practicing developing a new habit, EGO will kill you to get back on your former habits. how? it will produce pain and suffering. 

[Recursoinominado]

12 hours ago, Rigel said:

You can't keep a habit because you don't know what you want from life. If you want to be healthy and you are definit about it then it is only logical that you would eat healthy. VISION.

Why do you want your place to be clean? Is it because you love a clean environment or do you feel like you should because x and y? 

That is key. As someone who suffered from really bad discipline and bad habits my whole life, i am finally seeing a light here and this is helping me a lot with taking action. I am basically doing a lot of contemplation and trying to be precise with what i really want and what i have to do to achieve that. This puts a lot of things in perspective. 

Do i want to realize my true existential nature or do i want to be a couch potato wasting way life with video games, weed and junkie food?

If i really want X and i KNOW doing Y will get me there, why the fuck i am not actually doing Y and doing some bullshit instead? 

I think it really comes from being brutally honest with myself and ground myself in my direct experience, not what i think but what is actually. I often thought that smoking weed and playing video games and eating garbage was actually helping me deal with my anxieties from the spiritual purging process, i was fucking deluded! It is just an escape, increase in consciousness (grounded in reality) is always the way to go, self-deception is really a BITCH. 

[Elham]

There is a good book on the subject which precisely explain how to create new habits, how to maintain them and why it's hard to do it. I think it can help you.

 

[Eph75]

Also this is a good read.

[TRUTHWITHCAPITALT]

1 minute ago, Eph75 said:

Also this is a good read.

I agree this is a phenomenal book. Zen habits is also a must read. Also use Habit hub to track the progress of your habits.

[Consilience]

The principle of integrity is huge here. When you say you're going to do something, DO IT. If you can’t trust your own word, what kind of results in life do you expect? Start small, build momentum with your integrity, and over time let your word mean something. The principle of integrity is one of the most powerful and under appreciated principles of self actualization.

[GGG]

@Elham @Eph75 @TRUTHWITHCAPITALT I've known about these books and I've been meaning to read them for a while now. They will probably answer my question. Thanks.

[Spiral Wizard]

@GGG

This may help you:

https://youtu.be/MjKYJjCqUv4