Brain visions

[Preety_India]

I have been having so many dreams and nightmares in the last 3 days. 

 

[Preety_India]

A high quality product only goes to the highest bidder. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

When you can't even give basic respect to someone, you can't expect anything better beyond that. It's stalled right there. 

 

[Preety_India]

Certain things I learned from my previous relationship 

Someone who is moralizing you too much is also like a violation of who you are or basically you are not allowed to be yourself. 

You don't become completely undesirable or unworthy or bad just because of a few flaws or imperfections in your personality. A person constantly holding you to very very strict moral standards is tantamount to moral abuse. 

They are not able to accept you for who you are. 

Moral behavior cannot be directly designated as right or wrong. It's not that simplistic. You also have to see factors that are underlying and causing that behavior. 

Immoral is not when a person is behaving out of character as a result of a personality change or due to some compulsion or problem. 

A bad behavior could be because of a defect of personality or because of inherent sociopathy. The latter is a cause for evil.

 

[Preety_India]

Certain things I learned from my previous relationship

• Proofreading communication
• Recognize a source of discomfort in a relationship and understand that if you feel trapped or miserable then it's a red flag. 
• Recognize patterns of mind control or mind programming in a relationship. This is more like emotional mind control. You almost feel like you cannot escape the relationship or the partner. You have to deprogram the mind. This is like deaddiction. Like not going cold turkey in breaking up but taking it slow. After some therapy, desensitization, coaxing by family and friends, temporary separation, acclimatize the woman to the  break up situation. Use simulation techniques. 
• Usually a mentally weak woman gets abused and controlled in a relationship. Also the reason she can't escape it or she goes back to the abuser can also be explained by her mental weakness. 
• Setting criteria for potential relationships. Cut out those who do not meet the criteria 
• Blaming and judging doesn't help. Compassion and understanding helps. 
• Vaginal penetration. Vaginal penetration induces the hugging hormone in a woman. This is my personal experience. It induces oxytocin. This hormone and the strong feelings produced  during sex with the man is very effective in keeping the woman tied up in the relationship. The resistance is considerably reduced once the man has achieved sex with the woman. Abusers/Manipulators/ players use sex as a way to keep the woman tied up or trapped or addicted to the relationship even if it's toxic. Her resistance is systematically and progressively reduced by sex. This is to entice an emotional submission from a woman, especially a mentally weak woman. 
• Guilt tripping is a very common way of preventing a woman from Escaping a toxic relationship. 

 

 

Edited March 17, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I can do my tarot and go to sleep

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Don't shame, blame, judge, hate, bully...... These things never bring any good. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

The reason why a woman leaves a man for the first time is the same reason why she leaves him for the last time

 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm fierce. I had to be. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

One way to work on my self worth is to 

SAY NO..... 

SAY ..... I DON'T WANT. 

SO IF I DON'T WANT. 

 

 

 

THEN

 

 

I DON'T WANT. 

 

TO BE ABLE TO BE CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO SAY 

I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. 

I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR.... 

 

INSTEAD OF SAYING 

 

I CAN'T...... 

NOPE. 

 

 

I DON'T. 

 

Maybe I'm still awake because I'm still not in an emotionally good place, courtesy you. 

 

Edited March 19, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Practice emotional safety at all times. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

God sees everything Jo. 

You aren't free from judgement either

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

You left me emotionally damaged. Now what do you want? 

 

 

[Preety_India]

A woman is free of all fear when she learns to say... 

 

" I don't" 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

You were emotionally abusive.. 

I'm traumatized by you 

 

You used everything 

Gaslighting 

Playing on emotions

Emotional blackmail 

Guilt tripping 

Passive aggression 

Inducing Fear 

Abusive language 

Create fear panic trauma hurt 

Apologizing when I tried to withdraw 

Then hurting again 

Confusion

Lack of clarity 

Taking advantage of emotions

Emotional control

Mind control

Dehumanization 

Demonization and shame tactics 

Insensitivity in times of suffering 

Counterintuitive behavior in every situation 

Narcissistic Abuse 

Mocking, ridicule and Invalidation 

Projection 

Sexually Exploitative 

 

 

 

An abuser always needs his victim. Because that's where he finds his sadistic attachment. 

He doesn't want to talk too much with people he is thriving with. Because there is no emotional thrill there. 

Therefore whoever he is happy and non-fuss or bland with, he gets too bored. He wants to be back with the one he feels he can torture again to get his thrill. His highs and lows. 

Abusers get too bored with people where they have to moderate their behavior constantly. They can't have public or socially thriving relationships where families get to watch their behavior. They can't play out their darkness. 

They want secrecy, sadomasochism. They want to let loose their anger, find a punching bag that will accept them even after the punch and won't judge or discipline them. 

Since in modern civilized society they can't be allowed to be impolite, their inner harshness and need to beat up and victimize (their bullyness) doesn't find an active outlet. 

 

Mental weakness is a fertile ground for abusers. 

 

They don't feel stimulated in those situations where they can't abuse. 

 

 

Edited March 20, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

My silence to him will be the best answer to him.. 

I hope he has a day of awakening some day where he will turn around and think about me. And in that moment he will (should) realize how much I trusted him and how much he disappointed me. I think in that moment he will feel the pain that I felt for so long. In that moment he will feel like a piece of ass. I told him once what an ass he was to me. 

And one day he will realize how he was to me all along. That moment when he really feels what he did, will be closure and justice for me. 

 

He thinks that everything is a joke. In that moment he won't think that. 

 

He thinks that I'm guilt tripping him. In that moment he will realize that I wasn't guilt tripping him but telling him the truth. 

 

 

 

Edited March 20, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Maybe he wants to finish his business with me. I'll let him vent. 

That's some generosity I'll show to him

He was cold, unemotional, abusive, insensitive and selfish. And he will always be that.. 

 

 

Edited March 20, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Learning to look for love in myself. 

 

Within myself 

 

Loving myself for a better tomorrow. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Only if you had said 

" I know bad things happened in this relationship. I did you wrong. I treated you bad. I wasn't the best boyfriend. Maybe I failed in showing you love." 

Yea I remember once you said "maybe I'm not the best boyfriend." 

I remember when you came back from jail you said, 

"I know I didn't love you enough. I know I never made you feel loved." 

Yes.... Right there. 

Just an acknowledgement would have been enough. 

I would have felt a bit better in knowing that you at least acknowledge how I felt. 

But then again, what to expect from a narcissist? 

To be honest, I didn't deserve the painful relationship. It wasn't fair to me. I started living like a zombie after you bullied me. 

To continue loving a man who made me feel like I didn't deserve love, how fair was that? 

Even when I dumped your sorry ass, I still loved you. That's the part that hurts the most. 

I just couldn't unlove you. 

I couldn't hate you even if I wanted. 

 

 

Edited March 21, 2020 by Preety_India