Brain visions

[Preety_India]

I'm looking forward to bigger changes in the coming few months. 

Starting today

 

I just pray and pray that the next few days be good. 

I have been going through a difficult time this last few months and this month is nothing new.. 

Today is the height of my frustration. 

Plus my noisy neighbors are extremely irritating. It's been loud noise since last night. 

I really need to get going. 

The coronavirus scare has screwed me up so bad, I don't wish to go anywhere. 

I even canceled my event last week. 

I am scared to even go to the hospital but I have had a leg injury since the last week and I really wanted to visit a doctor this week. 

My family that stays in the US just called me and told me to not go anywhere at this time. Not even the hospital. That makes sense because it's the hospitals that have the greatest risks with patients coming in for screening. 

So sad. I feel so anxious over this coronavirus thing. 

 

Edited March 10, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Hopefully today everything gets sorted out somehow. 

Today is the action day. 

I need to take things slow now. 

I am trying to fix my leg with warm compress. 

It hurts like hell. 

I have got so much work to get done. 

Going anywhere is not without risk. I see everyone wearing a mask. Feels like we are living in alien space. 

 

[Preety_India]

The nerves in my hands have been causing some pain since morning. 

These are particularly bad days when nothing seems good. Everything gloomy. 

And today is the worst. Feeling depressed for a while. I wish things weren't this way. 

 

[Preety_India]

I feel like I can bite into some chocolate right now

 

Edited March 10, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

[Preety_India]

There are so many tarot decks 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Things are pretty ugly. I don't even feel okay anymore. 

Just got some bad news and it's so frustrating once again. 

She called me and it was such a long argument. 

I'm fed up with what's been going on. 

I literally lose hope every day. 

My tarots only help me

[Preety_India]

I'm trying to fix things right now. But I feel like I'm slipping away. 

Things are getting crazy 

 

I just can't handle it any more 

 

I feel like my whole life was a joke 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I just sink into this deep despair and a place of darkness. 

I start to blame myself and feel like I don't deserve any love or anything good. Like I'm very low value. Useless and worthless and good for nothing. 

It's a place of darkness. I feel unloved, abandoned, uncared and rotten inside. 

Like my life never carried any value. 

My narcissistic family was so abusive for so long. They never gave me a sense of worth. 

I was raised to believe that I was nothing. 

This was constantly fed into my head that my life meant nothing. 

I was nothing. 

It took me years to feel normal. 

Yet sometimes I go back into it. 

It's so hard. 

My ex used to abuse me mentally. It was brutal. I used to beg him to stop 

Then one day I realized that I need to stop this person in my life. 

It was a cold dark sad feeling. The feeling of betrayal of trust. 

How could someone do this to me when I was so good to them. 

I treated him so nicely and kindly and yet he took advantage of me. 

It hurt so bad. 

Like a stab in the heart 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

My feelings of darkness originate from my childhood. 

My beloved cat died when I was 15.

I blamed myself for her death

 I went into depression. 

I felt like I didn't deserve to live. 

I felt like a failure 

 

 

Edited March 10, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I am feeling much better now after reading some poems. 

Maybe I can get this under my belt. 

What I will do is this. 

I will write positive affirmations instructions in glitter text. 

That will uplift me out of my dark periods. 

 

[Preety_India]

I've understood that brae is an inescapable matrix. 

 

Just be in non continuation shit

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Adam Green 

Brother Nathaniel 

Steve Frassen.

Nick Fuentes 

 

Edited March 10, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

One day her conscience will wake up but it will be too late 

 

 

[Preety_India]

The world needs a God and a godfather 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I have always been getting this weird dream lately where I am eating a weird substance that is being banned from the market 

I have no idea what to call it. It looks like macaroons. 

I am supposed to add some flavoring substance to it.