Brain visions

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Just trying to process things 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm trying to connect the dots

I think that depression, bi-polar and autism are all correlated and somehow negativity and narcissism, controlling behavior and ocd and the need to create drama and the need to provoke, bully and the need to blow things out of proportion and inflict pain to the point of sadism and the need to have stimulation at the expense of destructive behavior or destructive consequences is a terrible vicious mixture which is cyclical and a huge part of the personality disorders that create this toxic mixture. 

 

[Preety_India]

Getting a feeling of distress. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

That person threw away my medication. 

 

 

What the hell. 

It's been a bad day. 

 

[Preety_India]

Something weird is going on in my life right now. 

I called Andrew 10 mins ago and he tells me that he can't find his medication.. 

This is getting weird seriously. 

I lose my medication and he loses it at the same exact time. 

Can't wrap my head around this 

Feeling creeped out. 

Lately things aren't going well in Andrew's life either 

I hope everything works out at the end of the day. 

Today is like a miserable day. 

[Preety_India]

What a strange coincidence. 

And this is not the first time I am experiencing a coincidence with Andrew. 

It always happens. 

He has a bad day. And usually I have a bad day on the same day 

[Preety_India]

Finally got a good doctor for a diagnosis for her. Hopefully this time everything will turn out right 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I want to make these canapes for my next catering event. That will be awesome. I love these. Saw these at a restaurant today. 

 

 These are the fruit skewer canapes 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 This one is the vegetable one. 

 

 

 

 

 I like the cabbage idea. I want to try it. I'm hooked.

 

Edited February 23, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I love the Greek salad canapes 

I'll try making those 

[Preety_India]

 

This guy is making some fantastic salmon canapes. Yumm. I will try these too. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Here's a simple explanation: You were born, and someone gave you a name. You noticed everything and everyone around you, how they behaved, what worked and what didn't. You noticed what got rewarded and what got punished. You noticed what was appreciated and what was criticized. You noticed what was valued and what was devalued. And just like that, in all that noticing, you cast yourself into a mould that everyone around you put you in. That, is so gradual and unconscious, that you end up thinking, this is me. That you, the image you have of yourself is your personality.

As an example: Ever since I was a kid, my mom would interrupt me whenever I tried to speak something. If someone asked me a question, she would answer on my behalf before I do. And then over a period of time, I felt it is not really a good idea to open my mouth. I retreated into a shell and became an introvert. I disliked being around people even though I could not pin point why. Then that became my personality - shy and quiet. 

Then I move out and go to college. I no longer have my mom around. I also get to do stuff that I find interesting. I am able to ask questions openly and answer them honestly. And people started saying I'm so confident. Then that became my personality. 

That is what a personality is. People at in my family have a hard time believing I am confident and outspoken. People at my college have a hard time believing I'm shy and quiet. None of these extremes is me. Both are acquired traits.

Personality, the word, comes from 'Persona' meaning a 'mask'. So it is something that actually covers up your real face or the real you. How do you know what is the real you? When you let go of all your masks and stand naked. Decide which aspects of you are acquired and let them go. It's a hell of a process and hurts your ego a lot. 

[Preety_India]

I think life is based on 3 things 

A good life is when 

• You are doing what you always wanted to do. Passion. 

 

• You are doing what you should do.. Universal purpose. 

 

•   You have at least found someone who you can love forever. Finding or knowing a soulmate 

 

•     You're living with the person who you love and wanted to be with. Living with a soulmate. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Something is hurting my feet

 Sometimes it feels like it's on the outside like a knife on the skin

Sometimes it feels like it's on the inside something shooting from my blood vessels. Really hurtful. 

Hope this pain ends. It's awful pain like inside outside both. I was fine just a while ago and suddenly I started to feel shooting Jabs in my feet and leg muscles 

It's like cutting through skin

Awful 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Love this

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

February 24 Monday 

Day 22 of the no contact challenge. 

Day 8 of Implementation Days. 

February 2020 

 

  

 

I kinda fell off the wagon for a few days. 

Edited February 24, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

On 2/18/2020 at 5:47 PM, Preety_India said:

Recap 

 

 

• Pre planning
• Pie chart 
• Tracking system... Sequence of codes 
• Reward points 
• Reward charms 
• Implementation Days 
• No Social Contact Challenge 
• Activity codes
• reward charms jar
• Charms chart 
• Activity blocks 
• Sequence notes 
• Activity classifications as Engaging/Useful or Random
• Milestone Photo album and Milestone Jar 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 2/18/2020 at 9:54 PM, Preety_India said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

How to start implementation day all over again? 

• Refer to the pre-planner. 3 page Reference chart 
• Create sequence notes, activity codes and activity blocks. 
• Start right away 
• Keep the timer as a reminder for the reward system
• Reward points to be given 
• Reward charms chart to be drawn. 
• The tracking system will be represented by a sequence of codes in line in the order in which they were finished after a couple bunch of codes are done. Like example... T1, A4. S7. S4. R4. B2... Etc 
• Create a pie chart in the end for future reference and record keeping. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

[Preety_India]