Brain visions

[Preety_India]

The universe will collude to help you attain your objective if you are persistently at it. 

 

If you knock on God's door it will open. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I need to get out of the emotional mess. I know that something is holding me down. And once I get out of it, I will be free and able to live and not just survive. 

 

 

The silence was deafening and he kept talking to the dead me. 

 

 

 

Edited February 7, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Woke up early today and I had errands to run. 

Confirmed with the doctor's office. 

 

Edited February 8, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

On my way to the therapist right now. Feeling extremely anxious right now. 

I just hope that everything goes well. 

I really don't want to go but I have to. 

There's like a knot in my stomach. 

I hope the doctor is okay. 

 

[Preety_India]

I just need to learn to be calm. 

There's a lot of traffic here. It's tough

 

 

[Preety_India]

Today's appointment turned out to be a dud. 

The doctor left early and it was past the wait time. I had to return home. It was a waste of time. 

But felt glad that I didn't have to face any drama

 

[Preety_India]

It's time for me to revamp

 

I haven't tired 5meo Dmt like the direct form but I have tried ayahuasca plenty of times. And the effects lasts for 2 to 3 hours for me. But it's great. 

Makes me feel more connected to everything.. 

[Preety_India]

Today my mood is better. I had my relax tea. 

And I feel much better 

 

Time for me to gain focus and think what more I need to get done. 

When the demon is trying to win, ask for God's favor. 

Edited February 9, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I have decided a 2 to 3 year plan. 

 

Like every 2 years is going to be term. 

Or level

Like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7, 8, 9. Etc. 

Level 10. To level 15. 

Visualization technique. 

 

A success program at each level. 

 

[Preety_India]

Minimize the impact. 

Don't lose focus 

 

Keep yourself motivated 

 

Work hard. Protest harder. 

Self care. 

Task list 

 

Be proactive. Even a small thing means a lot. 

Take baby steps.. 

Don't give up hope. Pray to God and have tremendous faith 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm going to use the term exclusive focus.. 

That's the most important thing. 

Resources 

Tools 

Health 

 

[Preety_India]

Trying to put everything together 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Need to go to the therapist today again

Let's see if it works out this time. 

Last time it didn't. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

7 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

   Well, there's plenty of interesting views expressed in this thread about pick up. I gonna give my take on it a little seriously: It depends on where the individual is at on the spiral, his/her psyche, and the collective his/her view is coming from and framing pick up onto.

   A cave man wouldn't think twice about pick up. Sees potential mate, goes after mate and conquers without question, and would view pickup in today's era as weird, like just go and get mate and own woman, spread your seeds. The reverse is true for cave women, they need strong men to hunt food and fend off beasts and protect offspring. Relationships between the sexes would be for pure survival. This is also observed in animals and their mating rituals. Pure animalistic living would hit a limitation, and eventually stage baige consciousness must move up the spiral, realizing that survival is easier with other things around and working together.

   At stage purple Tribes have a tradition called 'seed honouring', where the recently conquered enemy tribe's women would be enslaved and forced to bear children for the conquering tribe, with the thinking that this honours their ancestors/deities they worship. Also, some tribes do have matriarchal rule, as well as patriarchal rule. They would view pickup today as weird. Magical thinking and tribe family structure is the heart of relationships between the sexes. Dating does not exist between tribes, only within the tribe your at, only it wouldn't be viewed as dating even here. Of course, community is tighter and limited to the tribe you're at, and Karma's a bitch: eventually, you and your tribe would get conquered too, by an iron fisted ruler. Here, consciousness must move up the spiral, realizing that there's more power and might at the top.

   Examples include Native Americans and Indonesian tribes, African tribes. Exceptional example of a person going from purple to red would be queen Boudicca. When the king she was with passed away, she approached the Romans who had conquered the British isles to be recognized as the ruler of her tribe, and to honour the agreement between her king and their leader. Of course, the Romans did not acknowledge her as the rightful ruler, and as punishment she was raped and forced to see her three daughters raped before her. Likely, this event pushed her psyche to level up to stage red, with the desire to unite the tribes and seek revenge.

  At stage red, a con artist or criminal organization would not hesitate to take advantage, Especially if there's a feeling of dominance over the woman they approach, either by force, blackmail, bribe or seduction. Relationships here would be dysfunctional, power based, more egocentric. Here, we finally start to have cases where sometimes the women, if stage red, also are as vicious as men in manipulation of the relationship, all about take more, give less, despite at first men could have more power over women, but actually woman at this level do, with enough will and seduction, can rise to the top and rule with instilling fear. People at this level will abuse the hell out of pick-up.

   One example, forgot the name of the woman, was at one point the leader of the Cartel, a Mexican Mafia organization. She was hardcore stage red, that when the hit man she hired failed to kill a whistle blower, she was gonna chop off his dick herself and shove it down his throat, but when he did tell her he instead accidentally shot his 5 year old son, instead of showing remorse like any other woman, she went ecstatic, and praised the hit man's miss! Also, some cases of nurses that poison patients, one in particular poisons babies, but then later saves the babies herself over and over again, despite killing them, and also women stealing babies. Plenty of male examples of evilry, but I want to emphasize more on women here because despite biological limits, they are very capable of being eviil themselves. Eventually, this impulsive living between the sexes hits a limit, and we must realize that there's more than me, or my family, or exciting my best friend down there, taking power, and what was once and iron fisted ruler, becomes preacher next door. 

   At stage blue, civilization, empires, and Nations are forged, religions made, and bureaucracy established. A devote follower, priest, office worker, traditionalist, moralist, conformists, right wing political ideologies, all would call pick up nonsense, as it gives too much independence to the man, or woman, and goes against traditional values of family, marriage, arranged marriage, history, National and cultural values that conforms their group into a cohesive unit. If you were also seen 'dating', or 'having relations' to a man/woman of a different race, culture, morals, religion, nationality, political view, and not socially normal or acceptable, you would be ostracized and demonizes out of the community. Sometimes crimes are committed here for such rebellion against the nation or religious group here. Eventually, this gets boring to stay under a conformist umbrella, so we Sally forth onto the next stage.

   Here, we finally arrive at pick up and dating we know today! Yay! At stage Orange, it's about the individual being rational and for profits and results. Material luxury, money, transactions, results, and business is the way that a male stage Orange thinks about pick up, dating and relationships: physical worth, material luxury, trophy wife(Is this woman a higher score? Is her figure nice? She looks like she can give great sex! Is she worth my allowance? She's not worth my time if she's like those religious nut cases, or she bogs down my schedule. Oh! This woman looks like she taking care of her career and she looks down to earth.) and so on... And a stage Orange woman would also view men in terms of: physical worth( bigger muscles, bigger dick), material luxury ( can he give me more make up, nicer dresses, Guiche bag, high heels, jewelry and more to show off and out shine my female friends?), Transactional, trophy husband, financial worth(Is he rich? Is he gonna be a good fuck? If we're married [stage red thinking] how much can I get off of him?). Stage Orange views relationships in terms of success, children producing results, and family out competing the neighbors family, and so on. Eventually, this way of life between the sexes and relationships becomes dry and souless, Because you're only focused on wether the person you're with is still good looking, until they're not, and dating and relationships keep giving results until there's a fallout, and emotions play a miniscule role and is externally motivated in these interactions that if you find a better external condition, you'd leave regardless of others feelings. These limitations might propel pick up, dating and relationships towards stage green.

   At stage green, because they value relativism, humanism, the environment, emotions, emotional connection, community that is more diverse, the hippy, new age man/woman, social justice warriors, humanists, environmentalists, LGBT and minority groups at stage green, would consider dating and relationships in terms of connection, emotional support, feelings, others well being, and maybe are more open to polyamorous types of dating and relationships, and would favor a version of pick-up that is in line with stage green values, as stage Orange values of pick-up does not factor in feelings, emotional connection and togetherness in stage green, and the results oriented, materialistic way of dating, relationships and pick up rubs stage green the wrong way. The limitations of dating, relationships and pick up at this level is probably over attached to the others feelings in a relationship or dating setting, over diversity of different people dating, and more vulnerability to emotional manipulation by stage red people ( Charles Manson and the Manson compound) due to lack of integrating stage Orange's rational thinking.

   Here I think pick up might fizzle out, but dating and relationships may continue to evolve into stage yellow.

   If it does, then to a stage yellow thinker, he/she might view dating and relationships in a systemic way, how these may interconnect to different systems, and have a holistic view. Stage yellow thinkers might actually not be too focused on dating and relationships, because their level of thinking and processing different problems is higher ordered than stage or she's way of thinking, includes vision logic and overall energetically speaking, stage yellow individual/collective is more at their heads than hearts, slightly more left brain yet includes right brain.

   I don't know at stage turquoise. Dating and relationships are so spiritual and radical, that without the age of the internet and the books, videos and meeting spiritual people face to face to help brace yourself, you would probably laugh hysterically or demonize heavily this version of dating and relationships. Stage turquoise individuals/collective is beyond conventional thinking, that's for sure. Maybe the types of dating and relationships would be paranormal/energetic and hyper spiritual that it's radical.

   Sigh, so there you go. Pick-up, dating and relationships and any view on them is relative to where you're at.

   Take this to heart please, my head is throbbing I'm tired thank you very much have a good day (thud)???

   

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

So I had been to the psychiatrist. And the doc prescribed meds to my mom for depression and bipolar disorder. 

I hope and pray that it works this time. 

 

 

[Bill W]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

So I had been to the psychiatrist. And the doc prescribed meds to my mom for depression and bipolar disorder. 

I hope and pray that it works this time. 

 

 

So you the see psychiatrist but it's your mum that needs to take the medication? 

I'm trying not to laugh as I know you are working hard on your mental health, and I am too. But this did make me laugh, not sure if it's a typo?

[Preety_India]

@Bill W I'm seeing the psychiatrist for her. 

For myself I have a therapist that I visit sometimes that gives me advice on life's issues. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Seeing a person close to me being abused for such a long time, of course it's going to create hate. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Criminals underestimate things. They are ignorant. They don't know how things are going to play out. How eventually justice will come. 

 

 

Even when I was just 7 years old I was able to process things. I had an encounter with a neighbor who was sexually abusive. And even then as a kid, my intuition told me that he is not a good person 

And I told him to leave me alone and that is how I was freed from his sexual abuse.. 

I remember that incident very well. 

 

 

The whole idea that kids do not understand things is wrong. They do.