How to Financial Independence

[Nickyy]

3 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Nickyy i'm going to start working with a life coach i think thats where ill have to iron this stuff out. I don't feel comfortable sharing this stuff fully with anyone in my life. 

Ok. But I've seen a lot of life coaches, especially "men's group" wanna be coaches, and they make a lot of errors by basically telling guys what their purpose is as a "man" by telling them that they goal is to make money, to get game hot women, to build muscles, to get a great diet. All the cliche things. 

This has nothing to do with an individuals purpose, it's about them and their ideas.

Surely you have a best friend?

[Raptorsin7]

Im getting coaching from Nahm. i trust him i think he knows what hes talking about.

[Nickyy]

@Raptorsin7 Lucky 

[Raptorsin7]

@Nickyy Yea i have a close friend who i can talk to this about. He lives in my home city and right now i'm away from school, but when i go back in a few weeks i'll talk to him about this stuff and see what he thinks.

[Nickyy]

33 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Nickyy  see what he thinks.

Lets define this more.

See what he thinks?

Hmm 

By that I assume you mean to ask him to suspend his intellectual opinion on the matter and tell you if he thinks you're not 100% coming from your heart. Youre after a congruency screening. He might not intellectually agree with you, but if he's a good friend and an honest guy he will be able to feel that you are being 100% honest with yourself because of your passion.

I interview people for my company and this is the quality I look for,non verbal confirmation that it's the only thing they want to do with their lives. 

Everything else (verbal communication) is prone to self deception 

This is why a lot of therapies are done in person and not over the phone or Skype

 

 

[Raptorsin7]

  @Nickyy I'll just go over what i'm feeling. Right now i'm really hating law school, I know i don't want to be a lawyer and it's tough to get motivated to do the work. I told my family and they were very uncomfortable with this they want to me finish the year then reassess. There main concern is that they don't want me to be a loser and they think law is great, but they are very unconscious people who just don't understand what i'm feeling. I feel like i'm making so much spiritual progress but i also feel kind of depressed right now because of my situation.

[Nickyy]

@Raptorsin7 How long have you got left? What are the costs of dropping out? What are the costs of staying on?

I was the same at high school. I hated it so much that I left at the Easter break and went in solo to finish my exams. It was tough but I'm glad I finished it for my sanity and the fact that it actually opened a lot of doors for me.

Yes you don't want to be a lawyer, but finishing school has a lot of benefits that you won't see for a few years. From my view id finish it even if it breaks me.

Always end what you start in a positive way is my sincere advice to you. 

[Nickyy]

@Nickyy @Raptorsin7 Maybe you can find motivation by reframing your education in light of the fact that it will serve your life purpose. 

The psychological cost of dropping out and not finishing a path is harsh. 

It's better to have a clear mind and tie things up sensibly.

[Nickyy]

@Raptorsin7 Also, you're being financially supported by your folks (because?) you are studying law.

If that's the case then figure out what your values are with regard to taking the support knowing full well you won't be using your degree when you're done.

How does this all work for you? 

 

[Nickyy]

@Raptorsin7 Trust me, when you have figured all this out you will find yourself a lot more present and content. Out of that will come motivation and from motivation will come presence. They feed each other. Just like depression and thinking feed each other, presence and purpose feed each other. 

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Nickyy That is t

17 minutes ago, Nickyy said:

@Raptorsin7 How long have you got left? What are the costs of dropping out? What are the costs of staying on?

I was the same at high school. I hated it so much that I left at the Easter break and went in solo to finish my exams. It was tough but I'm glad I finished it for my sanity and the fact that it actually opened a lot of doors for me.

Yes you don't want to be a lawyer, but finishing school has a lot of benefits that you won't see for a few years. From my view id finish it even if it breaks me.

Always end what you start in a positive way is my sincere advice to you. 

I have 2.5 years left, this is my first semester. The cost of dropping out is only social stigma and my parent's disappointment and the disappointment in myself for giving up. The costs of staying on is i just don't like it, and i feel like i'm wasting my time. If i was working 4 days a week doing a random job and then doing what i'm doing now, meditation, yoga, looking up online business' id be much happier, i think but i don't really know tbh.

What are these benefits of finishing? I finished my undergrad degree after failing a year from depression, it literally doesn't mean shit. Well i learned a lot about science which is nice, but i knew 90 % of it from high school science. 

Always end in a positive way is just a thought story you tell yourself. I could just as easily say follow your heart's desires and it could contradict what you just said. Enlightenment work makes a mockery of all this bull shit, and I feel like i'm trapped between the old me and the new me. 

[Raptorsin7]

@Nickyy It's harsh until it isn't. Any negative feeling can be transcended, that's the whole point of this work. If the reason for staying in school is because you will regret in the future then that's fucking nonsense. I'm either going to reach a place of contentment and satisfaction or I won't. Everything i'm going through right now will literally mean nothing in 5 or 10 or 15 years. I'm just delaying the pain for some future time. At some point i'm going to have trust my gut and go for it, and accept the criticsm and shame from going an alternative path.

[Raptorsin7]

14 minutes ago, Nickyy said:

@Raptorsin7 Also, you're being financially supported by your folks (because?) you are studying law.

If that's the case then figure out what your values are with regard to taking the support knowing full well you won't be using your degree when you're done.

How does this all work for you? 

 

Yes and No. Right now i'm having everything paid for because i'm in law school. Apartment, food, yoga, etc. But if i drop out i would just go live at home, and start working. There's nothing I NEED that i spend money. The vast majority of my expenses come from eating out every day for basically every meal, and that wouldn't be the case if i lived at home. 

I told them already i don't want to do this. I told them i have 0 intention of practicing law. They said finish it anyway. But i think they are hoping i'm going to change my mind. When i graduate they will just say, work for a year or two and then reassess. They will always move the goal post.

[Nickyy]

@Raptorsin7 You sound very convinced that you don't want to do this.

I believe in character.

I'm old skool. I'm generation X and believe that if you have a value of success then you should finish what you start. Dropping out is a pattern of behaviour I find to be destructive, because you tell your brain that it's fucking ok to accept instant gratification.

You know what you want, there is no doubt, but you're in something now and you can learn a lot by delaying instant gratification and just working through it. I would go against my whole being if I agreed with you to drop out. It's not just a thought story for me, it's a massive piece of the puzzle about feeling congruent. My self image is not a drop out, so I don't drop out, therefore j don't have conflicts in me.

But there is more to consider than your own interiors here. There is the fact that actually finishing the degree will speak VOLUMES to the right people in the future that you need to work with in order to actualize any business plan. Others are always screening you for integrity and if you are a guy with no integrity you will attract bad situations and people until you fix it. The easiest way is prevent that by just having integrity now. 

Millennials can sometimes think they are entitled to something. Also saying that you can transcend negativity sound like spiritual bypassing.

If any negativity can be transended, then why don't you just stay at college and be a millionaire lawyer who transcends his negative feeling about life?

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Nickyy

3 minutes ago, Nickyy said:

But there is more to consider than your own interiors here. There is the fact that actually finishing the degree will speak VOLUMES to the right people in the future that you need to work with in order to actualize any business plan. Others are always screening you for integrity and if you are a guy with no integrity you will attract bad situations and people until you fix it. The easiest way is prevent that by just having integrity now.

The most important thing to anyone in a business context is can this person help me. When i reach a point where someone judges as to whether they want to work with me or not they will assess me as a person. If they look at me and say wow i really like this guy, but he dropped out of law school so i can't work with him. If only he just stayed in law school and proved his metal by getting a piece of paper that is completely useless unless you actually want to practice law. Anyone with that kind of thought process is an idiot and I hope i never work for someone that stupid. Life is momentum. People go up and down. In business you want to find people on the same path and momentum as you. You can tell a flake from a mile away by the way they talk and their level of preparedness. If i drop out of law school but i show up to the business meeting and know what the fuck i'm talking about then that is what matters. 

 

7 minutes ago, Nickyy said:

If any negativity can be transended, then why don't you just stay at college and be a millionaire lawyer who transcends his negative feeling about life?

That is a fair point. I had those thoughts early in the semester too. I thought i would overcome the challenge of law school and then make the decision from a position of strength. But right now it's like i used to be a drug addict and i bought all these drugs and i was so excited to just fucking do all the drugs. But then i realized i don't want to do drugs anymore and maybe i should do something else. But then people are saying hey man you already bought all the drugs why don't you just finish them. Most people will look down on you if you don't finish the drugs. Even though most people are fucking idiots. People who are actively judging you for a purpose other than trying to improve the world or themselves are fucking idiots. 

When i say negativity can be transcended i mean no matter what decision you make your life will turn out fine. If i stay in school eventually my life will be fine because at some point i'm going to have to bite the bullet and do something that completely uproots my current life. Growth requires pain and change. If i drop out tmrw my life is going to be just fine. It might hurt but life doesn't depend on anything. I can literally do whatever i want and i'll be fine. That's why this is distressing me so much, I know it's the right decision to drop out. If someone told me i had 3 years to live, you think i'd fucking spend it in law school? That's a fucking no brainer. But everyone in my life is telling me to stay. And i know they're all fucking idiots because I can see what drives them and it's all bullshit.

[Key Elements]

On 12/2/2019 at 11:03 AM, Raptorsin7 said:

@Key Elements What do you do for work or a living? 

Oops! Sorry...I didn't see this question.

I said something here about my work being in layers. First, you get a job in the profession that you like. Then, you try to make it self-employment. And, finally, you try to make a product out of it. Those are the three basic steps. Big steps! Of course, it's easier said than done. 

I wrote something here too about my struggles.

But then, a while back I started a thread on LP, hoping more ppl will notice and take into consideration. Hey LP is important to me. Hope these links help. Of course, I'm still in the process. It's quite a long journey for me. You got to make good decisions and figure out.

[Raptorsin7]

@Key Elements Thanks for the posts. I will definitely check out your LP thread and try and make some contributions.

[Key Elements]

@Raptorsin7 ok cool. 

[Nickyy]

2 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Nickyy

If they look at me and say wow i really like this guy, but he dropped out of law school so i can't work with him. If only he just stayed in law school and proved his metal by getting a piece of paper that is completely useless unless you actually want to practice law. Anyone with that kind of thought process is an idiot and I hope i never work for someone that stupid. 

I agree. But I never said anything about anyone judging you for dropping out of college because it's useless to you, I said that people will not trust you because you actually are a drop out because that is what you did. And if you drop out of things in the past you might drop out of a deal with me.

You also teach your brain (not your mind) that you cannot handle doing something that you don't want to do. So anyone looking at you will think that whenever you're asked to perform tasks that you personally find tedious, they will know just by looking at you that you're not upto the task.

Once you teach your body to drop out, that unfortunately comes across in your future deals with people. Especially women. Women just know you're not really upto challenge, you are not upto her moods, so they take one look at your energy and put you in the friend zone, that's if you're even lucky to get into the friend zone lol 

Seen it a thousand times. It's all around you if you care to look. 

What you do now affects your life in the future. It's just karma. Karma is real, it's not my thought story, it's actually a thing.

 

Edited December 4, 2019 by Nickyy

[Raptorsin7]

@Nickyy You are off bro. You're basically saying mistakes made in the past will haunt you forever and people will always judge you for it. That's your thought story. That's true for YOU. If i was in a business deal and some guy told me he spent 3 years in law school knowing he was never going to use it compared to a person who dropped out after the first semester and did something productive for the next years, I would respect the guy who had the balls to drop out. But in either case it wouldn't be determinant in how i judge them in the present. If the guy shows up late and doesn't know what he's talking about and he has a college degree who gives a fuck. 

I laugh at the guy who "respects" the idiot who sticks out a 3 year degree knowing he's going to end up in the exact same place business wise in 3 years as he would if he just dropped out today. 

But i'm the idiot too because i'm probably not going to drop out. I'm going to just stick it out, and i'll be fine for it. Either way i'm going to be fine. It's just frustrating because I know what the right decision is but everyone in my fucking life is a fucking idiot and can't see it.