I Am Scared

[Preety_India]

@Raptorsin7 lol not everyone on the forum is going for spirituality and enlightenment. A lot of people are for personal development, life purpose and relationships and Journaling

[Preety_India]

@Raptorsin7  I do long meditation for hours. But not really good. Sometimes leads to lucid dreaming and OBE which I don't like. 

I would rather do short spans of 15 min meditation and use it for self enquiry and insights. Or for calming the mind. 

But no more long hours for me. Gets dizzy.. Also I don't really believe in enlightenment. 

. 

[Raptorsin7]

@erik8lrl Because I don't control it. I know people say i'm already enlightened, etc etc. But right now I feel like a mind an ego. I want good things, and I don't want to avoid bad things, like hell, demons etc. But with awakening this whole charade is over. Whatever it is will change me, and i don't know how it will change me. I like my current trajectory, and I was hoping i could use awakening to be the best version of myself and live my dream. But this is all an illusion. Awakening will cut through all of the illusion, and i don't if I'm going to like what I find.

I'm also just feeling scared right now. Like it's kind of late and i'm alone in my apartment. If was on a hike with friends or something I bet I wouldn't be as scared. But right now the fear feels real so i'm just reacting to my current state. I completely recognize that tomorrow I could feel better and be more optimistic about facing the truth, but times like these show me that this path isn't all sunshine and rainbows. And it's scary...

[JustThinkingAloud]

@Raptorsin7

I would slowly let it go/release. If you keep holding on to it, it might let go on its own and you'll get surprised and could freak out. It's nothing scary, just slowly let the energy go, a bit at a time. Trust the nature, it's got it all figured out.

 

[erik8lrl]

@Raptorsin7 Follow your intuition and do what feels right. You are not alone, I love you. 

[Raptorsin7]

@Preety_India Ahh i see. Enlightenment is real imo. It's what happens when we stop telling ourselves who we are with thoughts and feeling, and just look and see reality. Then we see truth.

[Ananta]

6 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

But right now, I feel like if i let go I will see IT. And i'm not ready, so i'm kind of suck in no man's land. What is the alternative here? Do you think it's possible to experience awakening without facing our inner fears and demons.

Most go through a series of awakenings and going back to sleep, over and over, for a variety of time which depends on circumstances, etc.

There truly isn't anything scary about it. My first was total shock ?,  but not scary, then many baby awakenings, then another big one where everything was funny, hilarious really.

 The inner demon/fears may come into play a bit if there's an ego backlash, but that's you, awareness, fully re-identifying with the body/mind to the point that its painful.

[Raptorsin7]

@Anna1 Ahh very interesting. Thank you for your response

[Ananta]

@Raptorsin7 Your welcome

[JustThinkingAloud]

I freaked out because it came out of blue but afterwards I realised that it was just my imagination and there's nothing to worry about. Now, I just keep letting it go a bit a time and everything is fine. We used to have when we were kids all the time.

[Raptorsin7]

@JustThinkingAloud Thank you. I think all the yoga and meditation will help when I do finally wake up, I will try not to resist. I will surrender. I think that will make it easier. Sometimes I like to think of my favorite tv show characters that were brave to inspire me haha, but i also think that is more thought and ego trying to control the situation so idk if that's good.

[JustThinkingAloud]

2 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@JustThinkingAloud Thank you. I think all the yoga and meditation will help when I do finally wake up, I will try not to resist. I will surrender. I think that will make it easier. Sometimes I like to think of my favorite tv show characters that were brave to inspire me haha, but i also think that is more thought and ego trying to control the situation so idk if that's good.

[Eugenio]

I heard the coolest thing said regarding meditation today. The guy said that meditation is forgetting oneself. If I'm meditating for the purpose of Enlightenment, then it seems to me that happiness wouldn't be a part of it. I too seek Enlightenment yet simply because I have something inside of me that won't settle for anything less. Happiness and Enlightenment aren't synonymous... though you might find that you are happy with the results.

[Nahm]

@Raptorsin7 You just gotta relax. All this fear, demons, “facing it”, etc, enlightenment or truth being scary...it’s all entirely just thoughts. Evaluate your meditation duration & technique. Don’t over due it, and don’t hold thoughts like this most importantly. Thoughts come and go. You do not come and go.  If you’re scared, it’s literally only because of what thoughts you are choosing to entertain. Meditation is for relaxation, letting go, peace, equanimity, tranquility, detaching from thoughts, not clinging and weaving scary stories. I would be a lot more choosy about what garbage you’re putting in front of you, and in your body. Like Anna is saying, I have ‘seen’ what there is to see, and if you’re encountering anything scary, it’s conditioning, it’s made up. There is love for you that you can’t even begin to imagine. Leave this nonsense behind. ??♥️

[Raptorsin7]

@Nahm So do you think bad trips, and other negative experiences from enlightenment/spirituality work are simply a product of thinking getting out of control?

When i recognize my mind going into a fearful spiral, if i can calm down and let go of the thoughts and come back to pure presence is that enough to overcome the fear i'm creating for myself?

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

 

Brace yourself against that wind, and its gonna pass 

[Raptorsin7]

@Sombra What do you think about all the advice that has been posted? Does it change your perspective on what you experienced during your meditation practice?

[abrakamowse]

2 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@erik8lrl Is child pedophilia all love?

What does that have to do with your awakening?

[Raptorsin7]

@abrakamowse I was upset because someone telling me it's all love when i'm sitting there obviously not feeling the love. I guess it's just my resistance to the idea that all is love, because I can think of things that don't seem to be all love. But it's a nothing comment and I shouldn't have made it.

[Inliytened1]

@Raptorsin7 its not the petty little human love.  Its Absolute Love.  Absolute Divinity.  Its so powerful that it will knock you to your knees and leave you reeling.  It will leave you in uncontrollable tears of bliss.