Materialist Paradigm

[Red-White-Light]

It's been 4 months since I've shattered completely my materialist paradigm, however, I want to go back to the materialist paradigm. 

Infinite beauty was something I enjoyed but for it to constantly be in my perception can be disturbing, especially when you can't tell anyone about it and you have to pretend you're not being mind fucked by what you see.

Another mind fuck is no longer existing as a human being. I feel like I have died and what exists is myself as a conciousness seperate from the mind and body.

I truly miss being able to live a blissfully ignorant life as a separate self. Is there any hope of return to the materialist paradigm?

Edited November 23, 2019 by Red-White-Light

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, Red-White-Light said:

a blissfully ignorant life as a separate self.

This is a fantasy. There was nothing blissful about it.

Drop the fantasy and enjoy the present moment. You can't find happiness anywhere but HERE & NOW.

[Red-White-Light]

@Leo Gura The thing is I've had extremely altered states of consciousness in the past that have been nirvana, seeing conciousness with the substance of love and absolute emptiness, however this emptiness doesn't have the quality of love anymore. 

[Leo Gura]

@Red-White-Light Because you haven't finished your work, not even close, and you are having ego backlashes to going further.

[traveler]

I can relate to your problem. I think it's normal to disassociate with the body and mind after a big experience. When your an ego chasing enlightenment you take on a lot of spiritual conditioning in the process. This is a trap I found myself in , and I think many people get stuck in for a while. It's a spiritual ego. An ego that thinks it knows. Either it takes on a superior act (the I know and you dont) or It takes on the existential dread act (the everything is meaningless and nothingness and hopeless, but it's own interpretations of these words). I have found myself in both of these traps multiple times before. The book by adyashanti "the end of your world" talks about this.

I saw a video by a guy named Matt Kahn the other day and he really opened my eyes to something. He said "it's okay to have an ego," omg you're not allowed to say that right? But just feel into it. Doesn't it feel better to just embrace that you might have an ego, and that you inhabit a body? It's easy to get stuck in between the world and the "spiritual realms" or whatever, this might ground you a little. ?

[WelcometoReality]

@Red-White-Light The way is forward. You can't return to that paradigm, not when you've seen the truth.

What you're experiencing is the ending of the spiritual honeymoon. That can be quite a rude awakening. It might seem like a step backwards but it is actually progress

[Red-White-Light]

@Leo Gura I miss duality

[Inliytened1]

@Red-White-Light 

The materialist paradigm just assumes there is a physical world and consciousness exists within the brain.   Once you become conscious that physical reality is in fact held within consciousness, then your old paradigm is shattered.  That doesn't mean you can't enjoy duality.  It's just recontexualized.

By continuing the work you can become conscious that duality is in fact identical to non-duality, thereby coming full circle.  It's quite wonderful after that.

[Leo Gura]

32 minutes ago, Red-White-Light said:

@Leo Gura I miss duality

You're still in it, so what are you complaining about?

[Surfingthewave]

@Red-White-Light By the sounds of it you haven't actually shattered your materialist paradigm. You may have had glimpses but to want to go back to duality as you describe, then somewhere along the way you have got confused. How did you shatter it, what practices did you do and/or are doing? You can't undo what you have seen. Perhaps you are oscillating between being awakened and being a human within the materialist paradigm. 

Keep going, dont give up, you'll see the light soon. ? 

Edited November 23, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Red-White-Light]

@Leo Gura It feels like my whole reality has become a dream and I want it to feel real again. Perception is also too high definition and it distracts me.

[Nak Khid]

Just go with finite love so you don't OD

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Red-White-Light said:

@Leo Gura It feels like my whole reality has become a dream and I want it to feel real again. Perception is also too high definition and it distracts me.

Just sit and enjoy what is true.

Suffering arises when you want something to be different than what it is.

[zeroISinfinity]

Yes like curious cats. IT will grow and grow until you won't be able to hold it. Ofcourse it is uncoditional because you are everything. Atleast it is like sort of normal size to IT. IT is Infinite like literally Infinite lol. Still fascinated, why dunno. 

Bigger the ego(constructed self) lower Level of Consciousness. 

No self=Infinite Consciousness 

Edited November 24, 2019 by zeroISinfinity