How To Get In The Mood For Sex As A Female All The Time

[Natasha]

@Salaam Wow.. your wife posts her sexual experiences on FB? 

 

Edited June 4, 2016 by Natasha

[charlie2dogs]

29 minutes ago, Fitness Model said:

@charlie2dogs well yes we both didn't have the resources to make a fruitful relationship, but I think you know that love isn't a real thing, it's what you see in movies so that can't be what is missing in the relationship, now connection on all levels yea that's definitely something to work on as our relationship didget better in terms of communication, and we are more honest with each other than we use to, I understand way better than before, we got much closer after we had our daughter as he is an extraordinary father, we don't fight anymore, we discuss and I respect him because he's intelligent and logical. So our relationship isn't a failure it just needs on going improvement especially on this area: sex, if this is fixed I think I'm in the best marriage ever.

love is a state of being, but not one that can be had by the human identity.  The human identity does acts that it associates with and as love, and it involves emotional and mental states.  Any time love is based on emotional and mental states it is subject to be one way today and another tomorrow, depending on the emotional and mental state of being.  When one experiences love as a state of being, it is love and what it does is not dependent on emotions or mental states, love will do what love does and it wont be an act that looks like love.

Having said that i understand you have a good relationship with your husband, and both of you may have grown to make it a better relationship, for those who can do that it is great, but so many cant or wont and it ends up in a mess.  sounds like both of you are making changes to  create a better relationship, i hope it continues for you both.

My statement before wasnt directed at you it was a general statement about human beings , love and sex.  at least that was what i intended

[Salaam]

1 hour ago, Natasha said:

@Salaam Wow.. your wife posts her sexual experiences on FB? 

 

And wow right back at you. Project much?

We're not a part of that weird "kill the ego" cult. Fuck that nonsense.

My wife is a shaman, healer, counselor, ordained minister, and survivor of child hood sexual abuse and trauma.

She's done A LOT of work on herself and with me to be able to enjoy her sexuality in ways she's never experienced before. She deserves to be able to share in that enjoyment and celebrate in whatever medium she chooses. Plus, it's clear that wasn't a "look at me" post about some shallow shit. But one of sharing and discussing energetic experiences, that is relevant to a lot of our other friends who happen to work on the same stuff.

I mean jeez, the woman is sharing an experience where she felt like she got a piece of her soul back and the only thing you can come up with is this shit?

Ha... funnily enough, Eckhart Tolle liked one of my Wife's pictures on instagram a couple weeks ago. It's kind of ironic, given your video selection.

Edited June 5, 2016 by Salaam

[Natasha]

1 hour ago, Salaam said:

And wow right back at you. Project much?

We're not a part of that weird "kill the ego" cult. Fuck that nonsense.

My wife is a shaman, healer, counselor, ordained minister, and survivor of child hood sexual abuse and trauma.

She's done A LOT of work on herself and with me to be able to enjoy her sexuality in ways she's never experienced before. She deserves to be able to share in that enjoyment and celebrate in whatever medium she chooses. Plus, it's clear that wasn't a "look at me" post about some shallow shit. But one of sharing and discussing energetic experiences, that is relevant to a lot of our other friends who happen to work on the same stuff.

I mean jeez, the woman is sharing an experience where she felt like she got a piece of her soul back and the only thing you can come up with is this shit?

Ha... funnily enough, Eckhart Tolle liked one of my Wife's pictures on instagram a couple weeks ago. It's kind of ironic, given your video selection.

You don't kill anything. Ego is to be developed in a responsible way (self-actualization), integrated, and transcended.

Isn't sexual intimacy is to be enjoyed, shared, and celebrated between the 2 people involved. Not everyone wants to know what's going on between other people's sheets, honestly. That's called boundaries.

Your part about seduction/ building tension is very good. But perhaps a personal blog would be a more fit place for your wife to talk about more intimate details, where she can help others with similar problems to recover and to heal. What she's done with her life is indeed admirable.

I recently deleted my FB because people would share too much on there, some of the stuff made me wonder what the heck. This is just my opinion anyway. Peace.  

Edited: Eckhart mentioned in one of his talks that he doesn't do FB or any other kind of social media, he's a very private and conscious person. His assistant Steve takes care of that. 

 

Edited June 5, 2016 by Natasha

[Salaam]

@Natasha

Lol, come on, many women are sex nerds. They talk about all the intimate details with their friends. That post of hers created an awesome discussion with many different people chiming in. Many of whom knew what it was like to go through similar things in their past and gained hope and inspiration from her successes. Maybe you should read up on how some women who have been abused go through periods of hiding their body with bulky and black clothes, disconnecting from their sexuality. It's a big thing for them to see a kindred spirit be able to bask again in their natural femininity and sexual expression.

I get it, it is your opinion. I don't have a problem with that. What I don't like is how you tried to push that opinion onto my Wife's expression of something beautiful and self-empowering. You're similar to the baptists down south, trying to shame people into conformity. There are girls that have been molested by deacons and when they try to tell someone about it, they are shamed into silence and conformity as well, all for the sake of some ignorant, righteous view.

I'm not going to allow anyone to shame my wife on some side-shit. And don't even try to tell me that wasn't your intention.

See, on facebook they give you the option to choose who you share it with. It can be public, or some unique mixture of private. Why are you assuming it was a public post? It wasn't. You should have asked me about that first in a private message, before derailing this thread.

Also, you talk about transcend? Do you even understand the role validation has in our bodies? Do you understand that humans will always have a self-referencing mechanism, because it is a system that learns through contrast and association with things outside (and inside) it's physical boundaries? 

Every single memory, belief, view, etc. is internalized and maintained and shifted along deeper or shallower degrees of internalization via validation. When you eat something good for you and get a healthy feeling from your body, that is a form of validation. You have a wide spectrum of internal and external flavors of validation. It is not validation itself that is ever the problem, it is the CONTEXT of what is being validated and consequently internalized.

That is a physical reality, no matter what religion or philosophy you ascribe to. I know this because my awareness is faster, deeper, and more sensitive than any of your damn gurus. I can feel and track it in my body and if other people spent the time I have they'd be just as capable.

Anyways, if you want to respond to this, please send me a private message. I don't want to clutter up this thread with an off-topic discussion.

Edited June 5, 2016 by Salaam

[Sarah Marie]

On June 3, 2016 at 8:25 AM, Fitness Model said:

@Sarah_Flagg Thank you dear, I do suggest stuff like that to him but he seems not that interested & honestly Im doing it half hearted as I rather do something else or sleep and he is the same and we both know this is what the other person is thinking, so its not as much of a toy thing or technique thing as it is a lust and desire thing (AKA being horny and lusting the other person).

I watch porn sometimes but it doesnt turn me on as it feels soooo fake, I get more horny on reading erotica or watching movies like basic instinct 2, killing me softly, loool thats how I

Awesome, I understand that. I love 50 shades of grey. MACA root might be worth looking into to boost your libidos. 

[charlie2dogs]

8 hours ago, Natasha said:

You don't kill anything. Ego is to be developed in a responsible way (self-actualization), integrated, and transcended.

Isn't sexual intimacy is to be enjoyed, shared, and celebrated between the 2 people involved. Not everyone wants to know what's going on between other people's sheets, honestly. That's called boundaries.

Your part about seduction/ building tension is very good. But perhaps a personal blog would be a more fit place for your wife to talk about more intimate details, where she can help others with similar problems to recover and to heal. What she's done with her life is indeed admirable.

I recently deleted my FB because people would share too much on there, some of the stuff made me wonder what the heck. This is just my opinion anyway. Peace.  

Edited: Eckhart mentioned in one of his talks that he doesn't do FB or any other kind of social media, he's a very private and conscious person. His assistant Steve takes care of that. 

 

Natasha, you are wise to get rid of facebook, i never did facebook, twitter,  those programs are run and controlled to a large degree by those who want to control, monitor and manipulate your life.  I agree with your thoughts on the ego,  I too lead a private life, in real life.  I also agree that what happens between a man and his wife or mate, should remain private between them, to me that is one of the few things that can be considered sacred, and to toss that out on the web, under the guise of helping others, is something that human identities might do, but not a truly awakened being.

[Annie]

@Fitness Model I have been married for 13 years now, we have 2 small children and our sex life was great at first, then became boring, then almost inexistent and now we're back "on track" after my libido was extremely low (had never been super high but never thaaaat low). What worked for me to finally get things going again was something so simple it's almost ridiculous. Do you ever look into each others eyes when you have sex? Have you ever had an orgasm with your eyes wide open looking into his? I swear to you it's the hottest thing there is!

[Fitness Model]

22 hours ago, Salaam said:

Caring is a humble little thing, but in all the many challenges I've learned from and faced, it's served me as the best of foundations.

I do believe this as well, thank you for the encouragement,

 

22 hours ago, Salaam said:

what that all means is being opportunistic with tension and developing habits that create an inviting or fertile ground for tension to be present. This means connecting deeper with your own sexuality and the rest of your identity so you have more flavors and styles for tension to wrap around in those moments as you engage with another, but it also means seeing and savoring more of the flavors and styles of your partner.

please mention one of ur habits or suggest one that would work on u by your wife.

what do you mean by: connecting deeper to my identity and sexuality? how do you do that? I honestly forgot what my sexuality was after trying to alter it so many times to fit my husbands taste but with no success.

he tried to convince me to take cheating as a fetish (AKA get turned on when I fantasize about him having sex with another woman) and it worked FOR A WHILE till I no longer felt it turns us on to do that fantasy so we thought maybe have a threesome with my girlfriend (whom I use to make out with when I was single) but I thought of that out of desperation more than inspiration. but I was scared that this would become the norm, and deep down I knew he wanted to do it just so he would be able to become actually horny when hes with me cz if its just me than thats not enough, and that idea was killing me. we didn't do it, he also coward out of it when I told him to send her plane tickets.

22 hours ago, Salaam said:

She may have a new fingernail polish on and rather than just comment on it, I'll take her hand in mine and slowly slide my fingers over her skin as I talk about her nails, noticing how they go with her eyes or how it works with her dress. In between that I'll kiss her fingers, then her wrist softly, then bite her there. Mixing the softness with a little bit of the animal inside me, taking her by surprise. Giving her a cheeky smile and a little flash of the sexual hunger, coiled inside me. Then I'll switch to talking about something else and let that simmer, while pulling her into me and sharing a moment of closeness, maybe nuzzling against her every now and then and slowly savoring the smell of her hair, gently and slowly grazing her ear with my lips and breath. I have a deep voice and when my sex rises, there is a subtle vibration or purr that does something to her.

Reading this I got soooo turned on I almost masturbated, ARE YOU A REAL PERSON? I never imagined that there would be a man who would actually do this!! and after 4 years of marriage!! you know if my husband does that I would probably orgasm as he is kissing my fingers (we dont kiss to begin with not even in sex, he avoids it)

anyway, this reminded me of the good old days when I was obsessed with seduction (I was reading The art of seduction by Robert Greene and playing those techniques on my husband who was my boyfriend then. how can you be seduces after seeing all her flaws? 

I have a question, are you enlightened? cz you cant be just a normal human thinking this extremely high thinking, your superhuman.

may I ask what is your job? are you an author?

22 hours ago, Salaam said:

Seduction is about viewing normal things as an opportunity to create something more. A touch, a gaze, a conversation, sex.

today for example we went to the park and I thought let me try what Salaam was talking about so I put my self in seductress mentality and I thought to imagine time stopped and I smiled at him and wanted to make an eye contact with him but he smiled back quickly and immediately put his eyes on his phone to play a game, so I dont know how I can ever experience a fraction of what your experiencing

22 hours ago, Salaam said:

The best sex comes from the interplay of presence and personality, while allowing that inter-play to balance out, ground, and enhance the natural allure a person has.

how to have presence, and how to make the other person play along, especially if that person isnt into this high thinking?

22 hours ago, Salaam said:

My focus is instead on building deeper and richer moments with my partner, because the more it builds, the more it transports us into higher and higher flow or trance states, that allow us to tap into deeper and more primal parts of who we are.

22 hours ago, Salaam said:

so I am like this bull of a man, roaring and devouring my wife, triggering her primal and ancient, witchy sides to come to the surface from her subconscious depths. Those are the kinds of sides, deep within a woman, that not many men, ever truly get to see.

I conclude from this that you are both mediators, if not both enlightened?  Im a beginner in meditation like 6 weeks only of 20 minutes do nothing meditation.

my husband isnt into that at all and thinks its a waste of time, he rather playing video games.

is it possible to achieve a small percentage in this practice if just one of the 2 people in relation is a mediator, a seductress?

22 hours ago, Salaam said:

"I'm curious...is there anyone that has seen sacred geometry, flowers, shapes, ...etc during sex?
Yes, I have as of last night...i saw just a simple white 5-petaled flower with a big rosy center and today I saw the sacred geometry flower forming...Hmmm...my left ear started ringing during a simple kiss yesterday too.

Something has changed inside me. There's a stronger feeling of calm, peace, being at ease entirely...grounded, and capable. More than I've witnessed before...a knowing and wisdom too...and again calmness around it. Oh and the passion and fire! I don't know what...but married sex!!! lol I've never experienced ANYTHING like what we've been experiencing. wooooooo

David says that it feels very empowering. Both of us! Just mind blowing!!! Body expanding and exploding into a million stars, whilst forming again and grounding into what feels like a VERY ancient knowing. I want to say 'body' but it isn't my body that is ancient...it's my soul...ALL of it. I feel that I have found new pieces of my soul...new knowing, understanding...so much.
Oh! And I have gotten way more vocal in terms of saying what I want...if you have known me in the past...you know I don't generally speak up. I kinda like it it's powerful. I've never been like that during sex...

So...I was curious if anyone sees sacred geometry, flowers, shapes...etc during sex? Feel free to private message me if you don't want to say it publicly. But please don't be a creepy dope. I'll block you."

wow!!!!! your lady is definitely on the same page, she seems to have the superhuman thinking as well.

does your lady meditate during sex?

Edited June 5, 2016 by Fitness Model

[Fitness Model]

@charlie2dogs I apologize if I came offensive, you are obviously more knowledgeable than me in the self actualization field, I think Im not mature enough and my ego creeps out of no where and acts defensive.

you are absolutely right, Love is a state of being, and that is what I am trying to achieve.

[Fitness Model]

@Salaam hey there Master! 

I replied to your amazing post above but forgot to @user you so apologies for that.

thank you sooo so much for your kind help, I hope you get it back multiplied!

[Annie]

@Fitness Model You don't kiss?! Well if I were you I'd change that as soon as possible because that - for me at least - is a very important part of intimacy, it will make a huge difference I promise you. If he avoids is ask him why.

[Fitness Model]

@Annie your right dear Annie, its very important for me and I actually get wet just by kissing, I told him I love kissing and foreplay but when we are having sex he becomes so hurried to put it (intercourse) and he wants it either by me sitting in reverse (reverse cow girl) or doggie, so I dont know how to kiss during that.

even when I initiate sex by kissing he quickly turns his face to the side, I thought I had mouth odor but I made a test with the spoon, and I dont, it smells good.

I asked him why do u turn ur face when I start kissing u, he said cz he cant breathe and kiss in the same time.

liar ofcourse cz he use to kiss me for loong times when we were dating.

same applies for giving me oral sex, as he doesnt lick me at all, he did it like 4 times throughout our 4 year marriage, I also thought I had vaginal odor but I always stick a finger inside me before sex and smell it and taste it, I never ever had a smell its almost tasteless n no odor.

I always wash with intimate wah after each urine and dry with a separate towel especially for my vagina, and I always am shaved down there, and at the house I dress panties and bra to keep my body fresh, and anyway my skin isnt the kind that produces sweat, I basically dont sweat, not even while working out unless its HIIT training, and I shower and scrub everyday.

[Annie]

@Fitness Model I believe the problem here is definitely not you here but only his attitude. Your husband clearly has some intimacy issues.  Perhaps he choses those positions so he doesn't have to look at you. Forgive me for making this assumption but perhaps he is fantasizing about having sex with someone else because why else would he avoid getting intimate with you? Does he only care about reaching his orgasm quickly or do you have sessions that last a few hours? Does he treat you well when you're having sex?

[Fitness Model]

@Annie no sweetie your right! and I know it, I feel it, and I told him that but he said that my low self esteem issues are not his problem and Im a needy person, jealous and do not possess self confidence otherwise I wouldn't think that.

but I know it, he isnt attracted to me anymore, and he claims cz Im not horny like I use to be. (he basically lies down and tries to save as much effort as possible)

I told him that he changed as well, cz he use to actually LIVE  between my legs when we were dating, he said that was because he was turned on by my supreme horniness.

he is sooooo immature, he just doesnt wanna do anything about it, its easier to put the blame on me, and keep checking girls out in the street, and follow hotties groups and masturbate over their slutty pics, thats more comfortable for him than working with me to make us both happy and satisfied.

I wanted to leave him so many times, but I keep thinking: why does my daughter have to pay the price for 2 adults who are sooo selfish they dont want to make any effort to make this a happy family.

outside sex, we have a great time together, we dont fight anymore, we both love our daughter to death, he never cheated, so thats why Im sure I can do something about it, just like I was 103 kilos when I was 17 and lost those to 49 kg in 2 months and built a perfectly toned body, and kept the weight off, I think I can manage this guy, I just need patience and the right strategy, my daughter will get the best life no matter what!

[Annie]

@Fitness Model Glad to hear that at least every other aspect of your relationship is fine. Specially for your daughters sake. But he needs to understand that he is causing the problems, not you. You alone can't fix it, it takes two to do that. You mentioned earlier you're located in Germany, so am I by the way. Are you both German? Perhaps its a cultural thing that his way of thinking is so weird?! Although on second thought I think his behaviour is off in pretty much any culture. You are his wife, the mother of his child, he should worship you on every level. If he was turned on by your supreme horniness then tell him that his behaviour is a huge turnoff and that this horniness will return if he puts some effort in this too.

[Fitness Model]

@Annie HAHAHHAAAAAAAA u cracked me up soo bad, yes Germans are weird loooool, they kill sexuality in anything, even in nudity.

actually I am half British half Brazilian, and my husband is Yugoslavian, we met in the UK when I was out of an MBA class heading to the Gym, he was giving a presentation to Bill Gates looool, and on the road we car raced then he blocked me and refused to let me go unless I gave him my number, really nice time. at that time I had one 3 beauty pageants, miss bikini and a face model for makeup.

he had hair now hes bold hahahaaa, Im less pretty than before because of the hard times and my baby isnt an east one at all, super hyper active, naughty, expert in making mess and hates to sleep  I look tired even when Im not tired and my waist is wider than before, generally chubbier than before but still fit and toned, I just dont spend 3 hours getting ready to go anywhere even to the gym like I use to. no time

 

but you are definitely right, I must sit with him and tell him to work with me as soon as I understand Salaams technique looool.

 

ps I live in Hamburg, lovely city and very friendly people

[Salaam]

@Fitness Model

I want to take the time to answer you properly so I'll get to your questions soon but in the mean time, here's a little something I wrote for some other people relating to seduction.

And also, just call me Salaam or David, the master stuff is for the bedroom we're equals here.

------------------------
On a fundamental level what makes a story? It has to have at least three parts right? What some would call a beginning, a middle, and an end, but for the purposes of pleasure we'll call them something different in a second. But, first an exercise.

On the tip your finger there is a stretch of skin between your fingernail and the pad of your finger that feels softer and less "grippy" than the pad of your actual finger tip.

Take that spot and trail it gently across the skin of the wrist of your inner arm. Draw slow looping lines with your finger up your inner arm, to your outer arm, and then back in again, cycling slowly from the feel of inner skin to outer as you make your way toward the crease in the pit of your elbow where it bends inward.

As you get to that crease, slooooow down and draw out the sensation and tension that occurs as you trail along the edge of that crease, without actually breaking the crease and touching the center of that soft skin at the pit.

Instead, slowly draw your finger down the edges of that crease to the soft skin past your elbow and along the inner arm towards your arm-pit. Notice how the feelings change as you cycle through the different kinds of skin and how they build upon each other like a story. How you can create an open-loop, that builds and builds if you loop back and run along the edges of the crease in your elbow pit, increasing tension.

What this is about is learning to differentiate between the skins sensitivity types and how you can then stack those differences to create an experience.

1. Skin along the inner arms, thighs, etc.
2. skin along the outer arms, thighs, etc.
3. Skin along the folds and creases of the body like the back of the knees and elbows, crease of the neck, clitoris, nipples, penis, inside the vagina (g-spot), etc. (notice how the most sensitive parts of us are hidden in the creases and corners of our body. Like how the penis and clit actually have specialized ways of retracting and hiding)

If those three types are the elements of pleasure, then:
#1 introduces the pleasure (beginning of the story or chapter)
#2 grounds and contrasts the initial pleasure (middle)
#3 is the climax that you edge along, building tension and anticipation (climax or end)

So if we made it like music or a rhyme scheme, the exercise above would have a rhythm of 1,2,1,2,1,2,threee,1,2,1,2,threeeeeeeee,1,2,1,2, 3 ad infinitum (HOWEVER, you can and should switch this up with different tempos and pacing. Make it yours!)

What we did with the arm, you can do with many other parts of the body, like the neck or lips. The lips actually have 3 very subtly different kinds of skin as well, and as you kiss you can cycle between the different parts of the lips brushing against each other and build tension.

Further, much like a book can cycle between characters as it goes from chapter to chapter, a seducer can cycle between different body parts, leaving open loops of pleasure and tension that increases each time you return back to the character/body part you had previously left on a cliffhanger. In effect, with the understanding above, you can leave every part of his or her body a tingling open-loop cliff-hanger of a story aching for that final tipping over the edge into climax. Plus, each area on the body has different intensities of sensation for their respective 1,2, and 3 parts. The difference between a woman's arm and her vagina for example. But, make no mistake playing with this pattern just on the arm can be enough to bring your partner amazing pleasure, especially when you add different things like a bit of pain to the mix (biting the inner wrist just as the pleasure edges, which adds a new dimension to the story, especially when it's unexpected).

But, what I gave you above is just the bones of the story. The flavor and energy of the story comes from your intent to touch and the emotion behind it and the overall cohesion of the "story" depends on your ability to keep a rhythm. Think back on the emotional space you were in when you first tried my exercise. What happens if you slowly breathe and relax and fill yourself with feelings of sex and pleasure? How does that change the experience of the exercise?

So, with the above, you've now got the bones of understanding, but authenticity, spirit, enjoyment, and rhythm will be the rest you need to really make your story sing. It's great to know the structure, but the emotions and meaning of what you're expressing will be your truest guide. Without it, this will come across as mechanical, and that's not fun. Make it juicy with how you feel and what it means to you.

I hope this helps some of you all. It's a joy to have the freedom and ability so that every touch can have a story and an identity. It changes your touch from some one or two-dimensional thing, to something more that builds, which can help us all express the desires we wish to share.
---------------------------
(These are some additional comments from me and and another guy that came up when I posted my touch thing on a seduction forum)

(Ijji)
Great! Exactly the type of post I wish there was more of!! These are just the type of details I too think in terms of, when it comes to kino.

Sadly, most guys seem to lack similar level of mindfulness, so there was rarely much discussion following this type of posts in the past. But that wont be the case if I have a say!

So here are my immediate 'argumentative' thoughts:
-Why so liberal with your 3s?
-Part about slowing down (tempo) is very important imo. I would emphasize it even a bit more than you did.
-Rhythm is great in itself, but also because it facilitates 'breaking the pattern'.
-The 'Weak 2 > Strong 2/3' insertion. (Its actually another type of 'slowing down' and it is amazing!)

I will probably elaborate/ add more thoughts later. Hopefully others will chime in too!

(Me)
Nice and thanks ijji! I hope you do add more later, I wanted to introduce this as like looking at the bones or structure of how people approach kino on a basic level and then building and enhancing upon it with different styles and added dimensions.

-The liberal 3 thing was an attempt to illustrate drawing out the 3. So threeeeeeee, instead of 3,3,3,3,3 if that's what you mean.
-True, slowness increases signal/attention... fidelity
-Yup, breaking the pattern like a "beat-drop" creates a vacuum/gap (restrain -> contrast -> vacuum). Lol, I can't believe I forgot to add that part.
-Ah, nice man true. There are so many wrinkles a person can add to this to differentiate and inter-play the contrasting feels. Any more like that you can think of or elaborate on would be cool. Hidden vs Not, Weak vs Strong, Flow vs Gap, Pleasure vs Pain, etc. so many contrasts that really shine once you combine and layer them together. Often times a paradox only seems that way, because a person is looking to choose one over the other, rather than combine them.

(Ijji)
Sorry for delay! Had a micro flu or something.

Defining a sacred taboo zone, and then TIPTOEING ON THE BORDER of that zone, is another way of verbalizing this in my opinion!
You can define the zone to be anything you want. Even something like all her skin! Its all about that border tiptoeing, conveying to her where a 'barrier' has been met.
The 'magic' happens when she starts to physically sense that barrier (something the brain does automatically, creating a slight sensory input for things it knows MUST be there, based on the sum of other inputs.)

In terms of telling a story, what comes next is that you dont just cross that border. You make an EVENT out of it.

I want to talk about how tempo and vector are the main signals for all this, but Im very sleepy now.

(Me)
Yea, that sacred taboo zone is another example of an Edge. Playing with the degrees between social propriety and taboo is a great way to be provocative and seen as having an edge without having to dip into black triangle traits (those traits are the extra stuff that shroud how to do provocative right. People get distracted by those traits cause not too many know how to be provocative with the attractiveness they naturally have). Playing with the edges of social propriety/taboo, like when it comes to proximity for instance, and of course touch and grip, and many other things... it's super dynamic.

Another edge is Mystery. How much you will or won't tell about yourself, or places you will or won't allow a person, whether we're talking about a place inside yourself, or a place in your house for instance... if it's tantalizing, people will want to know what's around that bend that their being restrained from seeing.

The "make an event out of it" is where I start thinking about IMPACT/Penetration. The level of Impact of that crossing of the border plays a big part in the level of impression or degree of internalization a person has of the experience (this is a wide topic however and for it's range to include an indelible impression on a person's memory the level of meaning involved with the Impact Event must also be considered). I feel like in a lot of ways... Sex is a vehicle for Imprinting or creating an Internalization in another person. From biologically speaking as far as having a baby, to emotional bonding, and other things like affecting the chemistry of pleasure between you and another person.

Anyways, one thing I want to talk about is Restraint. I feel like Restraint is one of the key facets in tempo (degree of restraint plays a key part in what slows something down or creates a gap. It creates a space for more things to fill, which is why slowing down increases the coherency and richness of an experience... more space allows for more diversity and greater diversity enriches an experience if they connect and inter-relate in a stimulating way).

But, also Restraint, is one of the key facets of Dominance.

Restraint has an internal and an external facet, as well as edges of provocation. Self-restraint is it's internal manifestation of course and it's edge of provocation is the edge of change between self-restraint and suppression. In other words you want to lightly restrain yourself with sort of "soft" hands/strong base, rather than hold on too tightly and suppress yourself. Working on lightly restraining yourself at all times on all things is actually a really great way to learn where you hold yourself too tightly and where you let go too loosely, causing diffusion (cumming too early is an example of diffusion). So the internal spectrum is Diffusion <---> Restraint <---> Suppression and the sweet spot is playing along that middle ground or balance point and it's edges of provocation that are the tipping points into diffusion and suppression. Cutting loose... but not too much and buckling down... but not too much.

It's pretty much the same with it's external manifestation. Too much external restraint is Oppressive and too little is... something... Formlessness? Lacking Leadership? So it could look like Formlessness <---> Restraint <---> Oppression. Even a hug for instance has an element of external restraint, as does a handshake, all the way to things like choking during sex or bondage type stuff. And it's not just about grip, but weight and pressure, like the pleasure a woman feels with the weight of her man on top of her (unless it's too heavy and becomes oppressive) but also the heaviness of a woman's breasts and how that can be attractive or not and how it signals things.

So yea... Restraint is a much more deeper topic than people might realize, especially once they get past all the emotional hype or whatever that gets bundles up with the word Dominance.

I use it on the dance floor to create muscle tension pleasures... what you call Body Syrup I think. Dancing slower than the music would initially have me do if I lacked self-restraint so the energy in my body doesn't diffuse, but instead builds creating that pleasurable tension that feels great on the inside and contrasts in an attractive way to those viewing me from the outside.

Oh and another thing regarding barriers... did you know that there are certain feelings that only arise when there is a resistance to something? Just like there are only certain feelings that arise when you are risking something or being vulnerable?

(Ijji)
i promised a post about first touch vs my non escalation mantra. the edge concept here, could really help me explain it better. ill sleep on it though, cos its hard to explain, but will try.

EDit: Transition from no to touch, is best done in a strong cause-effect chain. Like saying her jacket looks really soft.

A more 'meaningful' touch should build up as an edge, before happening. This is what is meant by "Escalate the vibe, not the physical actions."

-------------------------------------------

How to have a "Mona Lisa" Style Smile or Hidden Smile

In my experience this manifests from containment and having things built within that containment.

When a man's created things for himself, a way of understanding and viewing the world, lines of directions from varied pursuits, he knows what it's like to see and feel things that have personal meaning, primarily just for him.

So you know what it's like to share a moment for yourself. You walk by and see a girl flash a bit of femininity that sparks a memory of past intimacy and you "hidden smile" to yourself and glow a bit.

People can sometimes feel when a person is sharing something worthwhile with themselves and especially if it's somewhat related to them, they'll be curious and "want in" or be attracted to sharing in that feeling as well.

It happens with my girl often. I'll look up from working on something and see her being all cute and adorable and smile to myself, and it'll catch her attention and she'll come "peek-in" or nuzzle up to me and we'll love on each other. It's awesome.

It happens all the time with normal girls too, because I've got a lot going on inside me and sometimes the cool things I'm feeling or contemplating "leak out" and catch their attention.

It's a small thing though. A little bit of sharing and minor captivation, I guess.

(And add-on for the same topic by my friend Cosy [there is no one in the world who understands sexual tension like him. He writes articles and books himself as well http://www.girlschase.com/content/make-her-feel-woman

Depends on the guy
For example,
Some shy guys have a wry smile naturally but its not the same
And some bold guys do a cheek lift and it has the right kind of effect

To develop is best like Sal said, inner nostalgia, and a sensing of something nice
You could practice while savoring a coffee or anything nice, like while reading, or watching a comedy
That kinda stuff
Cats do it a looooot

Edited June 7, 2016 by Salaam

[Fitness Model]

23 hours ago, Salaam said:

 

And also, just call me Salaam or David, the master stuff is for the bedroom we're equals here.

@Salaam loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollll, you cracked me up bad David

I read this piece of art 3 times, I loooove it, but I strongly believe that theres a pre-requirement for this art that you are presenting.

almost like seduction 102, I must take seduction 101 to really digest this. 

a lot of the concepts you and this other gentleman speak about are foreign to me.

I read the art of seduction by Robert Greene 10 years ago, but he never came across these concepts.

I definitely believe in creating tension and anticipation and those worked amazingly in the past on the guys I use to date and secretly use as hamsters to test the techniques Greene talks about.

so, what book or forum do you recommend for me as a beginner to actually understand this advanced piece?

but I love your description of seduction being a story.

are you sure your not a poet or an author?

[Denis]

@Fitness Model To begin with I would recommend a vibrating cock ring, it is very enjoyable for both especially if you like to be on top.  They also have little vibrators which you can use on many parts of your body but he would have to use it on you and you can use it on him as well.

As to the second question I actually find my girlfriend very attractive all the time.  This isn't just a physical thing though, I feel you are very focused on that having read most of the replies.  Sexual attraction is so much more than the physical.  We have great communication and we truly respect one another, we sometimes talk for hours about all kinds of topics, we go on adventures together, we are vulnerable with each other.   All those things contribute to the person overall.   What we essentially fall in love with is not the physical person but the essence of who that person truly is and this is kind of a knowing that you have in your heart.  When two people meet at first and than they like each other they become very lustful towards each other.  During that lustful period we fall in love with the concept of who we think our partner is but not who they really are.  It is only after that initial period passes (and for some people it can last more than a year) that we can truly start to get to know this person.  A lot of people misrepresent themselves early on in the relationship because they want to win over the other person but you can't keep acting forever, eventually their true personality will show itself and sometimes its not good but sometimes its even better than role they were playing up to that point.  So you see when you truly fall in you are not focused on the shallow physical aspects (I am not judging you here) because they will pass if not now than in 10 or 20 years but that true love will still remain.  So for me not to find my girlfriend attractive she would have to become a completely different person than who she is now and at that point the relationship would probably be over, but that is not reality lol.  Also I noticed you said your husband is from former Yugoslavia, I am from there as well actually.  Males in that society have very strong egos and many do not view their wives as equals but rather beneath them.  I am sure his male ego is very strong but it is a nut that can be cracked.  Also as far as checking out other girls Leo has a great video on male and female psychology which I recommend you watch, it will shed some light on that.   I thinks its two different videos but they are great, it will help you understand yourself better and us males and the way we think.  Also having read all the other replies it actually sounds like your husband is the one having issues(in the bedroom) and not you, he is just projecting them onto you.  He is kind of crying out for help by acting he way he does.  This is an issue he will have to address otherwise it will stay with for the rest of his life weather you two are together or not in the future.