Undone

[28 cm unbuffed]

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt08101850/

Have any of you watched this? I'm so mindfucked after watching it.

It's like - me and my friend had a though - is it possible, that our life since our heroic psylocybin trip is just a dream and we will wake up one day?

There is something i gotta do 2 days from now and it's so fucked up, I have no idea if I'm going to be able to do this.

And that's what these series are about - breaking circles, time travels and Groundhog Day. 

Please, I really need a fucking help, I'm losing my mind.

Edited November 22, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Nahm]

That’s crazy talk. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

So, basically, there is gossip going around about this chick, and I think my friend started it, but he doesn't want to admit it.

I think I gotta beat it out from him.

But I'm not sure if that's not just "hero" mentality and I would love to go beyond that, into "magician" vibration.

And I think this chick wants us to fight each other, because she is very manipulative and narcissistic and she wants to get me pulled into this shit.

How can I tell the difference? What is the main thing I should focus on to decide if I should do it or not?

[Nahm]

All ego. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

What you mean? Should I fight him or not?

[Preety_India]

Hey don't fight with him and waste your time. A good person wouldn't want you to do that 

Be clear and keep your boundaries. 

Stay away from people who target your weakness. It's exploitation

Take care 

 

[Nahm]

Why exactly are you considering this?

[28 cm unbuffed]

I think she has some narcissistic personality disorder, based on fear of course.

She wanted us to "talk to each other", because she "felt we didn't clear things out", where he doesn't give a fuck and moved on with his life.

I think it was her fear and guilt that stopped her from talking to him and being with me. 

The gossip is that "she was having sex with dudes for money" while being with him. And I'm sure he started this gossip. 

Also, she told me "I don't have sex without love". 

But after I denied to fight him she blocked me everywhere and I had this strange experience: i woke up from a dream. I FELT like she is experiencing orgasm with some other dude and that opened my solar plexus chakra and started my dark night of the soul experience / shadow integration.

So the question is - is she really a slut or did she do it, because she knew my biggest fear was to get cheated on (which is basically my karma and subconciously I'm creating a reality where I get cheated on or I don't even want to engage on a girl out of fear of that).

Also - by being a nacrissist I think she has to compensate herself the fact that I didn't engage on her, because I felt something is wrong and she was lying about meeting other guy and she is fucking dude I know, who is money/sex/lower self oriented guy (like I mentioned in some other topic - she is my personal Mary Magdalene). 

My intuition is showing me a situation where I find out that she is fucking with him, I vomit when I find out and hear them having sex (that's my strong childhood trauma, where my parents were having sex next to me and I woke up paralized out of fear) and I'm crushing her ego, exposing her true nature.

But I have no idea why this friend of mine/her ex doesn't want to admit that he started this gossip - what might be his agenda? The only thing that comes to my mind is that she promised him that she will fuck with him if he will keep that for himself.

Edited November 22, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[28 cm unbuffed]

But as I mentioned - she fears to talk to him and things are 100% clear between me and him. 

So, that might be just a narcissistic way to make me do whatever she wants me to do.

That's why I'm fucking confused.

Edited November 22, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Nahm]

Maybe in one short phrase, why are you considering this? 

[28 cm unbuffed]

Because all of this relationship was trauma based from the start. It wasn't going smooth, I experienced lots of suffering, but that's because this is the only kind of love I knew - my mother is an abusive nacrissist too who was feeding of me my whole life.

I developed this sufferer-narcissist (Jesus-like) personality, just to survive that abuse.

And there is also this one thing - from the start, where I was maybe like 5 - I was rejecting all of true love offers towards me and sabotaging myself. Maybe it changes your perception somehow.

Edited November 22, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[28 cm unbuffed]

Basically - should I move on and focus on improving myself or get involved in problems and emotional drama?

Like I said - staying in "hero" mode vs going into "magician" mode and focusing on myself and my life?

Edited November 22, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Nahm]

Fighting isn’t going to help anything. I think you’re deeper into a thought story than you realize, and you should just chill and let the whole situation go. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

I'm a motherfucking Heyoka empath. I always do the opposite to achieve things, by mirroring people.

This time I think I have to say all of the things I think about this girl (that she is a slut, etc.), just because he thought these things too, just to trigger him. 

It will make him enraged, because I think he is still jealous of her / loves her and he will admit that he started this gossip. 

 

This way I will not get pulled into her narcissistic game and get to know the truth at the same time.

Thank you God for answers and guidance 

Edited November 23, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Nahm]

♥️ I love ya, and you don’t need any more complication in your life. Less is more.

Manipulation is a tango for two. But dance alone - Dance Alone!!! Pssshh. Forget about it. It’s already done. 

”When you’re not practicing, she is. When you meet her, you will lose.”

[zeroISinfinity]

Tango added on dreamboard asap and panther a real one not a cheap copy. 

Oooh I am you, god damn it not that song again. 

Edited November 23, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[28 cm unbuffed]

i have no idea what the fuck are you talking about, both of you

tango down ~Cpt Price, Call of Duty

Edited November 24, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[zeroISinfinity]

@28 cm unbuffed Yes awoken sound like bunch of wackos I agree. Bunch of hippies with teary eyes. 

[Nahm]

@28 cm unbuffed

No one can manipulate you, you actually proceed with it willingly, from not practicing...meditating...and choosing how you want to be spending your time. Is there nothing you’d rather be doing? 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Nahm

shit, i got it