I have trouble being a doormat

[barcos]

Totally uncertain but I’ve recently been identifying with the character of an infj, maybe this helps people understand what type of person I am, “how I roll?” thus how to help me.Ive been prioritizing myself but I still have trouble setting boundaries with those around me.I love my family because I understand where they come from and why they are the way they are.This,a big picture understanding of my family’s characters and the power of acceptance and love, with my nature to not want others around me to feel negative then make me feel negatively because I’m sensitive to my environment like that, makes me lean over to not doing or saying anything that might displease or hurt these individuals.Whenever I’m interacting with people, I am not quick.I need processing time.As in I can’t just be in the moment and as extraverted,talkative,”fun” Maybe I’m dumb or not,but I need time to think out my response.Help appreciated

[Alissa]

@barcos I think taking time to think about what to say and choosing the proper words to avoid hurting others is not something to be ashamed of. May be you need to consider learning about communication skills and about the body language to interact with people better. Beside that try to be in your nature and don't fake anything about yourself to please others ;the right people will be attracted to you. Good luck ?

Edited November 23, 2019 by Alissa

[Pramit]

I think you are fine the way you are. In fact, I think its better that you are the way you are. Its rare to find individuals who pay so much attention to people around them. They should treasure you. Though sometimes I wish people were more honest, rather than trying not to hurt me. 

[NoSelfSelf]

Im infj too well i dont have any advice beside understanding more how relationship works,start putting yourself first you are important too,and do alot of spiritual work...you want everything to be in harmony but watch out which situation is suited for that,which situation is right for you to make it harmonious...

[Commodent]

Welcome to the Internet, where everyone are either INTJ, INFJ or INTP.

Jokes aside, find your inner truth, and get comfortable sharing it. That's the only thing you should focus on if you struggle with boundaries.

[barcos]

@Commodent ???
 

maybe these types are the most common out of all other types to be explorative of how reality operates.They come here to find like minded created content, to quench that thirst for insight 

[Espaim]

Try meditation

Try expressing what you are feeling when people cross your boundaries. Not like "you doing x made me feel y" but "I dislike when x happens because z,x make me feel y" or "I value x so when y happens I feel q". No one can make you feel anything. You can choose that.

By expressing what happens in you you'll increase people's awareness and your own. Eehhh, at least your own

For the "slowness" part you need training. Talking with more people for more time will increase your fast-replying skills. Or just tell the person it would be good if you had some time to think about the issue.

[max duewel]

Hey, I recently listened to a podcast on MBTI and personal growth in which they state how to develop this " weakness" in INFJ.

Maybe you can identify with some of the things said I found it very valuable !!