Still plagued by the perception and feeling of being ignored. I get triggered very ea

[PenguinPablo]

and... it tends to snowball and carryover into my important aspects of my life like school. Getting depressed, angry, and consequently not very functional. I know this is all rooted in trauma from being ignored. But I cannot keep relying on others to give me the attention and validation I want especially since my mind probably fixates and exaggerates these things.

 

This causes me immense suffering. And I truly must overcome this soon.

 

or maybe the best way to say it is: feeling unloved

Edited November 21, 2019 by PenguinPablo

[Ananta]

3 hours ago, PenguinPablo said:

or maybe the best way to say it is: feeling unloved

Do you have any family you can lean on while you are feeling this way?

((((((HUGS))))))))❤

I love you!❣

Hang in there!

[PenguinPablo]

@Anna1 I luv u too <3 

 

I have a plan... One day at a time  

[Ananta]

3 minutes ago, PenguinPablo said:

@Anna1 I luv u too <3 

 

I have a plan... One day at a time  

Perfect!?

One hour at a time, one minute at a time, one second at a time, if needed.?

[Average Investor]

Loneliness is well worth confronting. If you can become happy in isolation and loneliness you will be much happier when you are in the presence of others. Not to mention you will realize how much less and less you need to depend on anyone for anything. I get that in school it might seem ideal to have all of the friends and what not to help pass the time. But most are just going to introduce to drugs and low conscious activities. So you probably are not going to miss out on as much as you think.

Everyone gets busy from time to time, but if someone makes a habit of just blowing you off or ignoring you all of the time I would just break it off with them. It could be possible they are wrapped up in issues of their own, which it would not hurt to ask them about. I'm cool with not talking for months or once a month. But if the person just blows me off for months at a time if I contact them there is something else going on there. I have a cousin lately I noticed won't open a snapchat from me for over a month. I don't really go to crazy or send a bunch of spam out to people on there. I have usually 3 people I message on there at most if I do. But I can see that he does update his status or whatever it is on there, so he does open the app and use it.  It was a little upsetting because I do enjoy my cousins presence, but I also realize that he had just communicated with me over the last few years mostly when it benefited his survival. Now I don't really benefit his survival at all. Even when we last spoke maybe it wasn't appropriate, but he was going to give an excuse of why I had not heard from him in months and I just said "I enjoy your company, but I don't really care if you contact me or not" or something along the lines of that. And I reassured him I do enjoy hanging out with him etc. So maybe that helped clear the air on if he really wanted me around or not. 

I spend most of my time by myself now. I cut off about a lot of toxic relationships. One more isn't going to make me lose any sleep. 

[Nahm]

“Still plagued by the perception and feeling of being ignored. I get triggered very easily”

Of course, it’s not the perception or the sensations...it’s the repeating of the thought story about yourself. The “doesn’t feel good” is feeling saying, “that ain’t true”. “Getting triggered” is reactionary thinking, based on that thought story about your self. Change your story about yourself, empower yourself. No one makes you feel that way. Believing your thoughts about yourself makes you feel that way. Listen to the message of the feeling. The thought simply is not true. If you want to feel love...love. 

[LeoX8]

@PenguinPablo Discuss with that thought and ask yourself?

"Do I really need attention/love of others to feel love? What is it that really makes me feel this way? Can i get love without relaying on others? Do I really need love from others? "

Argue with yourself and start to answer those questions. When you think the answer is right, you can act based on that to find solutions

[Thought Art]

Hey, I have a fear of abandonment that is deep seated. I think I would talk to a professional or a councilor, as well as buy some books on the subject. Perhaps reading books on trauma, or even self love could help. 

I noticed on my path that books are great maps but are not the same as working directly with out nervous system. We hold a lot of memories in our body mind. I know I can lash our if I think people are going to abandon me. This is part of my work, as I still struggle with intimate relationships. Full on PTSD and I cant relax...

But, I persist, and my gosh growth is so possible as long as you JUST PERSIST!! wooo

Edited December 13, 2019 by Thought Art

[Bill W]

Hello there,

I think you are on the right track. You are taking responsibility and it shows through your post when you write I cannot keep relying on others to give me the attention and validation

Speaking from personal experience around poor mental health, there are two things I've been able to appreciate the significance of. These two things, if someone had asked me to consider them a few years back , I'd have thought it was out of order for me to even have to consider them, so you might think the same here! It has helped me, but it's a bit more "tough love" so to speak.

Right these two things are

-Victim mode (I think Leo has a good video on this). Gets you to think about whether you are playing victim too much. Not saying you are! I just found for me it did apply to some of my stuff and when I gained this insight it was painful but it did help empower me

- Sense of entitlement. We cannot be expected to be human door mats but in my recovery I had to face that some of my expectations of others were not quite in line with reality and the how the world really is. I had to face up to the fact I was expecting a lot of people to fit into my idea of how they should be, and how they should respect me, give me attention and show me love and this and that blah blah blah. I had to check my sense of entitlement as some times it was a little bit off and needed correcting.

 

None of the above might apply to you. I am not here to tell you that you are playing the victim and are acting with too much self-entitlement. It's just for me, I had to look into these two factors and once I did, it helped.