How can someone have an unshakable self esteem and be completely fearless

[Sussso]

How to become a complete Wild motherfucker who is not afraid to say the truth and speak up in any situation, also can easy say No. you ever found it hard to say No?, well saying No is a important life skill and we can be afraid to just simply say it sometimes. and be a beast in life and doesn't care about what people think of him/her cuz self esteem is unshakable. How In your opinion you can achieve that state of mind? let me know what y’all think. 

Imo how you can achieve that? To simply put it I’d say you might already know how, you just need to be insanely! insanely!!!! disciplined and you will become a god or anything you want to be in life. 

Edited November 21, 2019 by Sussso

[Byun Sean]

thousands of hours of hardcore spiritual work and contemplating in realtime for thousands of hours what your emotions are, where they come from and get direct insights into that. Practice telling the truth even when it is hard.

[Leo Gura]

Death

[Nahm]

? 

? 

[Raptorsin7]

@Nahm

[Proactive]

@Raptorsin7  CAN U STOP @Nahm I'M TRYING TO FIND HIS DREAM-BOARD BUT WHEN I SEARCH FOR HIM, ALL I SEE IS YOU ???

[Raptorsin7]

@Proactive LOL i'm sorry. It just works so well I gotta let ya'll know.

[Dumuzzi]

21 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Death

@Leo Gura You know what, that reply stuck with me for some reason. Now I realise why. A Near Death Experience is actually something that makes people quite fearless. I've had one (of sorts) a few years ago and it has completely cured my fear of death. It has also made me fearless of other things. I'm still not crazy about spiders and wouldn't deliberately put myself in a dangerous situation, but I can't remember the last time I was genuinely scared of something. Must have been years ago. I also didn't lack confidence before, but now there is a certain unshakeable calmness and assuredness that never seems to leave me. Every time I get into a shifty situation, where others would perhaps panic, I feel equanimity and peace, sure in the knowledge, that the worst thing that can happen to me is that I die, which is fine too. Been there, done that, no big deal. I also cannot get existential angst about the end of the world, the end of humanity or whatnot, because I know it is just a projection on a movie screen essentially, even if the projection stops, the observers, the people who thought they were living this life on earth, but actually were just looking at it from another, higher dimensional perspective, continue on with their eternal, deathless and timeless existence as infinite awareness.

[Forestluv]

@Dumuzzi You are within the personal story that a "me" exists. . . 

"How can someone have an unshakable self esteem and be completely fearless?"

The terms "unshakable" and "completely" are absolute and involve transcendence of the self (death). 

You are asking "How can someone have relatively stable self esteem and be relatively fearless". This is a different context that involves personal development. 

[Dumuzzi]

@Serotoninluv you seem to be hung up on semantics.

I prefer a more practical approach.

A separate ego may be an illusion, but it is also through the individuated self that we get to experience this world. It is necessary for us to separate from source in order to have a direct experience of this material realm. Fear and insecurity are caused by separation anxiety. When one experiences unity consciousness, fear and doubt melt away.

[Forestluv]

 

19 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

@Serotoninluv When one experiences unity consciousness, fear and doubt melt away.

Yes. Unity consciousness is completely fearless.

One doesn't experience unity consciousness, one IS unity consciousness. There is no separation between the one who experiences unity consciousness and unity consciousness. 

19 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

It is necessary for us to separate from source in order to have a direct experience of this material realm. Fear and insecurity are caused by separation anxiety. 

It seems like you answered your own question. Separation consciousness = fear and anxiety. Unity consciousness = No fear and no anxiety. 

The next realization is Separation consciousness = Unity consciousness. 

The mind is creating these distinctions. 

[Dumuzzi]

56 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

 

Yes. Unity consciousness is completely fearless.

One doesn't experience unity consciousness, one IS unity consciousness. There is no separation between the one who experiences unity consciousness and unity consciousness. 

 

hmm, not sure if I agree. I think the very essence of individuality is separation. It may be an illusion per se, but it is a crucial distinction. Without wanting to sound too precocious, I believe that those intelligent life forms that are above us on the evolutionary ladder (you may call them gods or aliens if you wish), go in and out of collective consciousness with ease,  but they do not lose their individuality in the process. Us humans lack this ability, though we can catch glimpses of it. 

56 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

It seems like you answered your own question. Separation consciousness = fear and anxiety. Unity consciousness = No fear and no anxiety. 

The next realization is Separation consciousness = Unity consciousness. 

The mind is creating these distinctions. 

Yes, but whose mind? I would argue that there is actually just one mind, which we all share. Or maybe that is the point you were trying to make? 

 

[Forestluv]

19 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

hmm, not sure if I agree. I think the very essence of individuality is separation.

For sure. If we create a thing called "an individual" that is separate from other "things" we create, then it is separate. If I say my pinky finger is separate from my ring finger, then it is separate. I just made it so! A fun magic trick.

19 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

Yes, but whose mind? I would argue that there is actually just one mind, which we all share. 

If there is one mind, who is this "we" that shares it? . . .We would need to create separation. We would need to create a "me" that is separate from "you" and say "me and you" share the One mind. . . .That is a fine metaphor. The problem comes when there is attachment/identification with "me" as being separate from One. This attachment/identification creates fear and anxiety. 

This type of theory is great as a framework, yet the direct experience is really important. For example, a nondual experience with no self. . . Yet afterwards, the psychological self may try to take ownership and create a thought story about "an experience I had".

Also, the framework of unity vs individual can have value - yet that framework can collapse in to unity = individual. 

[Dumuzzi]

@Serotoninluv I have a problem with idea of "No Self". There is no such thing. Some people even talk about ego death or killing the self. That is an impossibility. 

I've noticed a lot of people misinterpret the idea of non-duality and Oneness, thinking it means that they have to dissolve and "kill" their own self in some way. That is actually the exact opposite of what they should do. 

In an enlightenment experience, where separation and duality cease to exist and Oneness is regained, the Self expands into infinity. It becomes the Universe, or rather the point of view of the observer changes and he realises that he IS the universe and he is boundless, infinite, unceasing, undying, timeless, etc...

So, rather than the Self dissolving into some infinite mass of sameness, the observer realises that he was never separate from the universe in the first place, it is only his attitude and point of view that made it seem that way. However, with this realisation, instead of dying an ego death, he realises that the ego was never real, it was only a projection and a certain point of view, on the other hand HE was always the SELF, which is unbound and infinite.

I hope I'm making sense here.

[Surfingthewave]

@Sussso Explore your own version of fear. Realisation that fear is just another sensation but with made up thoughts. Letting go and realising everything will work out just as it is, dropping your sense of self in the process. How you do that is up to you. Stop comparing yourself to others and drop the ego. To be a wild motherfucker as you so describe is to live the Truth, but not shout about it. 

Edited November 23, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[pink]

Courage, it takes being courageous to be present in truth To be a wild embodied mother.

[Spiral]

Suffer until nothing in normal life can even remotely compare.

[Forestluv]

7 hours ago, Dumuzzi said:

@Serotoninluv I have a problem with idea of "No Self". There is no such thing. Some people even talk about ego death or killing the self. That is an impossibility. 

I've noticed a lot of people misinterpret the idea of non-duality and Oneness, thinking it means that they have to dissolve and "kill" their own self in some way. That is actually the exact opposite of what they should do. 

Terms like “no self” are pointers, they are maps. They can be true/helpful in one context and false/unhelpful in another context. The mind likes to see things in opposites and wants true vs. false and does not like paradoxes.

There are many different images we can create with “no self”. For example, we could say “self” is a movie in which a person is immersed within. They are attached/identified as being a character within that movie. One could say that “no self” means the character disappears and the movie ends. Or one could say “no self” means there is omniscient awareness - the movie continues, yet there is no more attachment/identification. 

As well, we can create different maps of “awakening” that are tru/false and helpful/unhelpful expending on context. For example, one may say that awakening is the cessation of ego. One may say awakening is transcendent awareness of ego. Each has true/false and is helpful/unhelpful. 
 

In the context of what you wrote above, I agree. A mind can create a nonduality story and become attached to that story. Yet what happens if we become attached to the opposite story?  There is truth to what is written above, yet by thinking “that is the opposite of what they should do”, there is now attachment/identification to the opposite side of the story. In doing so, one will only see the falsity in killing the self and will not see the truth in killing the self. It is two sides of the same coin. 

7 hours ago, Dumuzzi said:

In an enlightenment experience, where separation and duality cease to exist and Oneness is regained, the Self expands into infinity. It becomes the Universe, or rather the point of view of the observer changes and he realises that he IS the universe and he is boundless, infinite, unceasing, undying, timeless, etc...

So, rather than the Self dissolving into some infinite mass of sameness, the observer realises that he was never separate from the universe in the first place, it is only his attitude and point of view that made it seem that way. However, with this realisation, instead of dying an ego death, he realises that the ego was never real, it was only a projection and a certain point of view, on the other hand HE was always the SELF, which is unbound and infinite.

I hope I'm making sense here.

You are making complete sense and it’s true. It’s beautiful. Rupert Spira uses similar imagery. I think what you are pointing at is a transcendent awakening. It is a rooftop with a meta view. It can take years of work to build a ladder and climb up to the rooftop. Yet we don’t want to become become Quasimodo.

An enlightenment experience is described as “where separation and duality cease to exist and Oneness is regained”. That is true and not not saying it’s false. This isn’t is true vs false dynamic. . . separation and duality can cease to exist and Oneness is regained. That’s true. It’s also false. How can separation and duality cease to exist in Oneness? How can duality not be Oneness? To say duality isn’t Oneness is a duality. Oneness includes both duality and nonduality. (And the opposite is also true).

[Dumuzzi]

@Serotoninluv It is getting complicated, so I will try and make it as simple as possible and cut out the complexity.

We are all One. There is but Love in this world, everything else is illusion. 

It is Love that binds us together and connects us. Hate and mistrust, on the other hand, separates us.

When we Love, we unite and become One.

In Unity, there is diversity, yet, there is no separation, because we exist in a continuum, all unique in our own way, but we also have points of connection, where we merge into each other and it is no longer possible to tell where one of us starts and the other ends. It is at these connection points that various forms of love manifest, depending on the kind of relationship we have with one another. This could be friendship, neighbourliness, kindness, familial love, romantic love, etc...

But, the highest form of love is divine love, which is love for all. All other forms of love are pale reflections of the real thing and in our lives, what we ultimately seek is divine love, expressed through unity consciousness. All throughout our lives, we seek connection and meaning. Even our various addictions are a desperate search to find, meaning, connection and unity. What we ultimately all want is to love and be loved. The forces inherent in the illusory mirror world that we're lost in pull us away from each other. Our memory of our divine nature and what it means to be ONE is what draws us closer together. When we serve the forces of Unity and Love, we move the whole world closer together to its ultimate source. Fear of unity and the insecurities that come with it are what fuel hate and separation.

Our ultimate destiny is to regain unity consciousness and to reintegrate our souls into a greater whole, from which we consciously separate ourselves every waking moment of our lives, even in our sleep and as reincarnation proves, even in our death. We are consciously resisting drifting back into unity by constantly building and maintaining barriers between us and others. Reversing that requires letting go and not doing, in other words, stopping the conscious and constant sabotage of our own happiness and bliss. When we let go of the ego, our fears, insecurities, hatred and all other separational emotions and consciousness vehicles, that is when the bliss of infinity and nothingness, of unbound love and unadulterated joy becomes our reality. Because at this moment, we are filled with light, some refer to this re-emergence of unity consciousness as enlightenment.

[Forestluv]

@Dumuzzi I don’t disagree with you. I think what you wrote is a beautiful construct and has a lot of value. I am pointing to something else.

It doesn’t look like we are on the same frequency, which is fine. It happens. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me ❤️ ?