Need some advice from The Void I am looking at

[electroBeam]

So here I am, looking at God, and knowing and right now experiencing the fact that this whole actualized website and all its followers are "inside" God/the present moment, and that this forum is just a way for God to express itself, a mouth so to speak, I need an answer to this question I will write below.

 

I have been severely depressed for the past year(and half depressed for the years before) I dont know why i was depressed for the years before, but just by walking in the park and contemplating, Ive just had an experience that explains why Ive been severly depressed for the past year. 

 

I feel like crying right now, just letting heaps of emotions out. Unfortunately I think crying is for girls so its hard for me to do that.

 

I know now that my sever depression all along has been coming from that fact that deep down I know my loved ones are not real. I feel like my life is one of those plot twist movies like fight club or 6 sense. 

You know on the surface they are there. Their bodies, personalities. They are there. But deep down they arent really there. Behind the curtain there's Nothing. There's absolutely nothing. 

I dont know what to say. This is why Im depressed. This is why i have so much energy to cry. 

I told myself that Im depressed because im worried that my girlfriend will leave me, that my parents will disown me or die from cancer. But really its this.

 

I can go sit with them now, eat dinner with them, watch movies with them. Im not saying I cant, i really can. But they are gone and I just feel like crying so much.

 

Once this experience is over, and im back to ordinary life, this post will really make me cringe, but while im aware and conscious that this forum is God's mouth piece, please God tell me what to do. 

[Shaun]

I would advise you to have a look at Rupert Spiras video called "grief is not essential to you". Your loved ones are not fake cardboard cutouts. That's solipsism.

Edited November 19, 2019 by Shaun

[LfcCharlie4]

@electroBeam They are there. 

I've been exactly where you are thinking myself into these kind of oblivions that make daily functioning so so hard, and I really feel for you, I can almost feel your pain, and I wish I could help. 

But they aren't gone, they are more real than before my friend. This is why using nothing to describe the absolute is dangerous, as it can be taken to be literally nothing which isn't the case at all. 

As much as you are the self, they are also the Self with a capital S, EVERYTHING is the self. We all then have our unique human personalities, bodies and abilities etc etc, but believe me your loved ones are not merely nothing in it's literal sense. 

Going through the stage you are at alone will be terribly difficult, please reach out if you ever need any help at all mate, I am more than happy  to help!

[DoubleYou]

Whatever you imagined your loved ones to be, there's something there, behind their eyes, that's infinitely more beautiful than that.

And if you can't see that, that's only because you can't see it in yourself yet. Because it's YOU.

And that YOU, is the I that WE all share.

And the realisation of this shared being is called LOVE.

And that is why your loved ones are your loved ones in the first place. Because you already know. You've always known.

[electroBeam]

Thankyou for the support

[SoonHei]

@electroBeam u got this champ <3

god bless you!

and crying aint bad. cry it out.

let it out. don't let it build up!

it's like stubbing your toe - imagine doing that and just keeping the scream inside... vs letting out a howl of pain/scream as you stub your toe.

if it's held in, it becomes trapped in... let it out. allow it to pass.