Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Mikael89 said:

So, are you seriously saying that there doesn't exist a single guy in the world who is thoroughly nice?

There are nice guys. Many many nice guys. Some of them are just pretending to be nice. Some are genuinely nice. 

There is always a tendency to think in absolute ways like when you say women like alpha assholes who treat them like shit or beta guys don't stand a chance because of how women are designed. 

Just one of those. In reality everything is mixed and complex and made up of n number of permutations and combinations. 

People like to think of the average or general or most common. 

It's a reductionist approach especially facilitated by dating coaches that speak in statistical ways. 

Buying into the philosophy causes error in judgement and inhibition of the limitless possibilities of life. 

Life is a mystery that cannot be explained by a statistic or a coach, it has to be lived in its real essence. 

[Dumuzzi]

12 minutes ago, JustThinkingAloud said:

This is the biggest problem I have with men. Somehow, they assume they know what is in our heads and don't listen what we actually say. They think they know us better than we know ourselves. We all are human beings, our brains work the same, we didn't come from a different planet and we don't need anyone to tell us what we think, we know what we think. 

Ha. I call BS on that. Clearly, men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, haven't you heard?

 

[JustThinkingAloud]

3 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

Ha. I call BS on that. Clearly, men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, haven't you heard?

 

Human imagination is limitless haha

[Dumuzzi]

13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

There are nice guys. Many many nice guys. Some of them are just pretending to be nice. Some are genuinely nice. 

There is always a tendency to think in absolute ways like when you say women like alpha assholes who treat them like shit or beta guys don't stand a chance because of how women are designed. 

Just one of those. In reality everything is mixed and complex and made up of n number of permutations and combinations. 

People like to think of the average or general or most common. 

It's a reductionist approach especially facilitated by dating coaches that speak in statistical ways. 

Buying into the philosophy causes error in judgement and inhibition of the limitless possibilities of life. 

Life is a mystery that cannot be explained by a statistic or a coach, it has to be lived in its real essence. 

You have to consider that many men's entire lives are built around meeting women. That is literally the only thing they're interested in. I know plenty of guys like that, especially from latin countries. Everything they do in life has only one goal, to meet and impress women. I personally think it's rather pathetic, but you could argue that the whole of human civilisation is currently built on this fact. 

[Nickyy]

7 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

Ha. I call BS on that. Clearly, men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, haven't you heard?

 

Actually that is a very good read. I recommend all guys read that book rather than watch RSD. They don't know what they are missing !

[JustThinkingAloud]

Just now, Nickyy said:

Actually that is a very good read. I recommend all guys read that book rather than watch RSD. They don't know what they are missing !

Enough theory, it's action time! 

[Nickyy]

21 minutes ago, JustThinkingAloud said:

This is the biggest problem I have with men. Somehow, they assume they know what is in our heads and don't listen what we actually say. They think they know us better than we know ourselves. We all are human beings, our brains work the same, we didn't come from a different planet and we don't need anyone to tell us what we think, we know what we think. 

Yes I hear ya. And the biggest problem men have is not listening to women properly, on an intellectual level and on an energetic level. 

Guys are taught in the pick up world to actively avoid listening to women because apparently women don't really know what they like in men. 

I for one would like to see the end of that mentality for good.

Thanks for commenting ?

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

You have to consider that many men's entire lives are built around meeting women. That is literally the only thing they're interested in. I know plenty of guys like that, especially from latin countries. Everything they do in life has only one goal, to meet and impress women. I personally think it's rather pathetic, but you could argue that the whole of human civilisation is currently built on this fact. 

That's a hindrance. It can even be called an addiction like a love addiction lol.. 

There is no need an abnormal dating need to have kids. People have kids even though they are not expert or master at attracting the opposite sex. 

It's a mental thing and also a social thing. 

I personally wouldn't want my life to be all about meeting and being with a man. Would be too toxic for me. 

For me every area of life needs to be carefully nurtured and grown and fulfilled. 

[JustThinkingAloud]

Just now, Nickyy said:

Yes I hear ya. And the biggest problem men have is not listening to women properly, on an intellectual level and on an energetic level. 

Guys are taught in the pick up world to actively avoid listening to women because apparently women don't really know what they like in men. 

I for one would like to see the end of that mentality for good.

Thanks for commenting ?

[Preety_India]

@Dumuzzi I wouldn't want to be a sanyassin either. Just balanced all around. 

I mean I wouldn't be happy being a sanyassin. I'm too romantic for that. 

I have my own demons. 

Edited November 19, 2019 by Preety_India

[Dumuzzi]

8 minutes ago, Nickyy said:

Actually that is a very good read. I recommend all guys read that book rather than watch RSD. They don't know what they are missing !

The one I would recommend, is The Female Brain. It was written by a female neurologist, from a scientific and behaviourist perspective. Not only is it scientifically accurate, but very funny and entertaining as well.

[Dumuzzi]

@Preety_India I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, to be honest, but in my case, it was a bit of a necessity. I went through a Kundalini Awakening 7 years ago and struggled quite a bit to overcome some of its effects and to adjust physiologically. At the moment, all of my sexual energies are transmuted at the muladhara and channelled upwards to the sahasrara. This is a biological, as well as an energetic transformation and it is fuelled by the reproductive system. At the moment, it seems all the energy produced by it is needed for a higher spiritual purpose, but perhaps my priorities will change with time.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Dumuzzi said:

@Preety_India I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, to be honest, but in my case, it was a bit of a necessity. I went through a Kundalini Awakening 7 years ago and struggled quite a bit to overcome some of its effects and to adjust physiologically. At the moment, all of my sexual energies are transmuted at the muladhara and channelled upwards to the sahasrara. This is a biological, as well as an energetic transformation and it is fuelled by the reproductive system. At the moment, it seems all the energy produced by it is needed for a higher spiritual purpose, but perhaps my priorities will change with time.

Although I have zero knowledge of what muladhara or sahasrara. So I can't speak on that. But I can say I would avoid it because I cannot survive with that level of restraint. 

My mother is Spanish so I understand your point of view of Latin countries when it comes to love and romance. 

But I need a balance of both romance and consciousness in my life. 

I can't live without either. 

 

[Dumuzzi]

@Preety_India Oh, they're just the sanskrit terms for the lowest and highest of the seven chakras. Sorry for assuming you would know them, haha

No, I certainly would not recommend total renunciation, especially for a young girl. Normally you're only supposed to do this once you've had a family and your children can take care of themselves. I did not consciously choose it, but it happened anyway. It was probably meant to happen. I believe the rough shape of our lives, our fates are already written well before we're born and we agree to it, before we take a human body. Only some of the details need to be filled in, as we go on with our lives. It may sound unusual, but I am very happy and content with the way things are. I have given up certain things in life, not consciously perhaps, but by making certain spiritual choices. By giving up what most people would consider the highest goals in life, materially speaking, I have gained it back a thousand fold on the spiritual side. The bliss and contentment I experience on a daily basis is indescribable.

[Nickyy]

8 minutes ago, Dumuzzi said:

@Preety_India Oh, they're just the sanskrit terms for the lowest and highest of the seven chakras. Sorry for assuming you would know them, haha

No, I certainly would not recommend total renunciation, especially for a young girl. Normally you're only supposed to do this once you've had a family and your children can take care of themselves. I did not consciously choose it, but it happened anyway. It was probably meant to happen. I believe the rough shape of our lives, our fates are already written well before we're born and we agree to it, before we take a human body. Only some of the details need to be filled in, as we go on with our lives. It may sound unusual, but I am very happy and content with the way things are. I have given up certain things in life, not consciously perhaps, but by making certain spiritual choices. By giving up what most people would consider the highest goals in life, materially speaking, I have gained it back a thousand fold on the spiritual side. The bliss and contentment I experience on a daily basis is indescribable.

I'm happy for you man ? and thank you for the book rec. also 

[Bill W]

19 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

 

I am teaching you, not the otherwise. Remember I am 40 yo. Respect your elder's wisdom.

 

 

 

ARC

 

 

 

There is another thread about Levels Of Consciousness. I don't really agree with it, the way they allocate a level to someone. But....with this post above, you would wreck their numbering system LOL, you would be minus something - probably lower than a corpse lol

 

[Applegarden]

W8 but doesn't most people believe they are nice, as a way of distracting them of their own flaws?

[whoareyou]

2 hours ago, Key Elements said:

Once you get into a relationship, it's a test of your nature, your inner balance. That's the best I could describe it. Are you both able to adjust in a balanced kind of way? Both have to be willing to adjust. There was a friend of mine I knew since high school. She told me her mom left her dad. I was wondering, "why?" They were married for 30+ years with three children. But then, I found out that the mom had a passive aggressive type of personality. Nothing pleases her in the family. She was always complaining no matter what anyone did, even though she had smart kids and a husband who is soft spoken and helped out around the house. He literally raised the kids all by himself and did all the housework, whatever he can. They were both university professors of the same university. He was the president, and she was the dean.

To me, I think she allowed her ego to get the best of her. She never addressed her personality. She had everything going for her. She made all the major decisions. She made no attempts to stop herself from being passive aggressive. There's a saying, "don't make a moutain out of a molehill." In this case, the woman was out of balance. He chose to be with someone who eventually got out of balance.

There is another way of looking at it. Why was she "passive aggressive"?  Did the husband change and became a different man that he was?

Quite possibly he was a leader and on his purpose in the beginning, then lost it - and after a lot of "testing", she gave up.

They also had a mismatch of roles - he took on the traditional role of a mother - who normally would be raising the kids and doing the housework.

To me, this is a sign of failed leadership on a man, and having lost touch with his woman.

[Nickyy]

46 minutes ago, whoareyou said:

There is another way of looking at it. Why was she "passive aggressive"?  Did the husband change and became a different man that he was?

Quite possibly he was a leader and on his purpose in the beginning, then lost it - and after a lot of "testing", she gave up.

They also had a mismatch of roles - he took on the traditional role of a mother - who normally would be raising the kids and doing the housework.

To me, this is a sign of failed leadership on a man, and having lost touch with his woman.

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

There is always a tendency to think in absolute ways like when you say women like alpha assholes who treat them like shit or beta guys don't stand a chance because of how women are designed. 

Yeah I agree, black and white thinking that prevents grey areas to allow to flourish. After green we can allow ourselves to be less politically correct and use broad strokes and generalisations again to make a point. I believe this is a reclaimed aspect of healthy blue, but now without the fixation and idetification of being immersed in the blue structure and actually buying into black and white thinking.  

@whoareyou

46 minutes ago, whoareyou said:

They also had a mismatch of roles - he took on the traditional role of a mother - who normally would be raising the kids and doing the housework.

At the green stage this is no longer an issue as old blue fixed roles have been replaced by conscious teamwork that allows both male and female to switch between each role.

However this can stagnate and has a way of destroying sexual polarity. In a 2nd tier relationship the male and female can play any role they like, but if they want to return to sexual polarity both partners need to rest in their native masculine or feminine and co-create from that place. It's usually the man of course who is more identified with the masculine and the women more identified with her feminine. However this is not always the case, and one of the beautiful things green brought to the table was this freedom to be a hetrosexual man who's actually got a feminine essence and allow him freedom to find a woman with a more masculine essence, and vice a versa, and so on for gay, lesbian and so on and so forth, and not have society look down on anyone for being who they are at their core. 

This concept applies to all genders, orientations and essences. 

2nd tier sexuality takes what green achieved and evolves it out of the stagnation of its own ideology by reclaiming all of the energies of 1st tier without any of the identification.

 

Edited November 19, 2019 by Nickyy

[Arcangelo]

11 hours ago, Anna1 said:

You want to moan, bitch, complain and like some other men....blame women.

I was JK about me being a teacher. I am student.

And OFC i know you will never respect my wisdom.

You gotta re-read my post. I never complained about anything. I just told the guy what i think women thinks about nice guys.

Where did i bitch moan or complain? Stop projecting your stuff on me.

 

 

Arc