Pick Up = Sexual Harassment?

[Nickyy]

1 minute ago, Arcangelo said:

@Nickyy So in your opinion day game cold approaching = Stalking?

I am not a stalker because all i do is go to the supermarket and if i see a woman that i find sexually attractive i walk to her and open my mouth to say words, I am smart enough to understand rejection, and after that i move on.

How is that stalking?

 

You don't think it's a problem, but if you look at these situations through the eyes of other people you will start to see that it's not appropriate in this context. That's why it is considered weird. 

To understand yourself and the world around you, you need to use your mind to empathize with other people, empathy includes seeing the world through the eyes of other people. Understanding their emotional reactions to your behaviours. Only then can you be successful with people, not just women. 

 

 

[Forestluv]

@Sombra Yea, young guys don’t have it easy either. We could also have a conversation about challenges of being male.

And cool avatar. It reminds me of Day of the Dead memorials I’ve seen. 

[Nickyy]

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You act like you're too bold and brave. Like you said you'd risk anything if that's what it takes to talk to a woman and ask her out. 

At the same time you say it's a numbers game. I do wish that you show the same boldness after winning her with your wooing, like "hey you are just a numbers game for me, are you still interested?" Because guess what most probably you won't be bold enough to do that. 

 

 

What's worrying is that you haven't understood what the rejection means. You should have learned that the rejection itself is telling you something.

The pua community frankly brainwashes people into interpreting reality a certain way. Once you have someone's ideas in your head, it can be difficult to grow because those thoughts are informing your world view 

The best thing you can do is get away from these videos about pickup and start to unprogramme yourself from it. That way you have a chance at actually improving yourself.

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Nickyy said:

What's worrying is that you haven't understood what the rejection means. You should have learned that the rejection itself is telling you something.

The pua community frankly brainwashes people into interpreting reality a certain way. Once you have someone's ideas in your head, it can be difficult to grow because those thoughts are informing your world view 

The best thing you can do is get away from these videos about pickup and start to unprogramme yourself from it. That way you have a chance at actually improving yourself.

 

In the 21st century I'd have expected a woman's emotions being valued. 

The OP suggests he is worried about the future of men. Looking at the attitude of the pua community, I'm worried about the future of women !

[Preety_India]

Just now, Sombra said:

@Nickyy Dude the PUA community is so toxic its not even funny.... I'm actually really happy a lot of their channels are getting taken down currently even though I don't watch their stuff... I mean if you knew what I knew about their business, and ethics... its disgusting lol. Theyre just marketers. PERIOD. (Snake oil on top of that)

 

Glad you get it. 

[Nickyy]

3 minutes ago, Sombra said:

@Nickyy Dude the PUA community is so toxic its not even funny.... I'm actually really happy a lot of their channels are getting taken down currently even though I don't watch their stuff... I mean if you knew what I knew about their business, and ethics... its disgusting lol. Theyre just marketers. PERIOD. (Snake oil on top of that)

I extend PUA to any mentality that imagines that male / female interactions are a "game". 

It's all the same. 

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Nickyy said:

I extend PUA to any mentality that imagines that male / female interactions are a "game". 

It's all the same. 

 

 

I can say it can be used to learn some skills for shy guys and a way of upgrading skills. 

But other than that, don't go too far with their mentality, don't drink their coolaid because it's mostly snakeoil. 

 

[Nickyy]

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

In the 21st century I'd have expected a woman's emotions being valued. 

The OP suggests he is worried about the future of men. Looking at the attitude of the pua community, I'm worried about the future of women !

Lol.. the internet. a double edged sword 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Sombra said:

@Preety_India yeah you know its nice to actually treat women good for once, like the community is all like dont buy girl drinks, and fuck this fuck that... its like no, sometimes dressing up and going somewhere nice for dinner is cool lol. 

My point is the community massively gets guys focused on either esoteric concepts that are just totally superfluous that helps them sell products.
Or they literally make guys basically combative to women.... as in another fucking human being LMFAO. 

Total cancer.

 

It messes up a man emotionally. It's the emotional exploitation and manipulation of men. Deep down it will lead men to be permanently psychologically and emotionally damaged for their rest of their lives. 

Men are emotional creatures. Just like women. A man's emotions are deep and rigid. This one thing is almost never taken care of in the whole rsd pua whatever this woman attraction snakeoil selling community is called. 

 

Without emotional harmony, a man will get messed up. 

[Arcangelo]

@Preety_India  I have been single for a while now, so long that it is embarrassing to type it in here.

When guys like me get into pick up is because we are desperate, we have close to zero friends, no social circle whatsoever, and we definitely don't want to swipe left and right, i perceive online dating like a scam.

I have been thinking about the female hobbies for a while now,  with your green light I'll do it for sure. I am so doing it that i am coming back to this thread, telling you about my acting, Pilates, yoga and art lessons.

BTW I am not young i am 40 but i look younger, I do study female nature but i am not good at pick up.......at all......yet.

I am an adrenaline junkie TBH.

Edited November 18, 2019 by Arcangelo
BTW

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Nickyy said:

Lol.. the internet. a double edged sword 

 

If you have average or above average intelligence and freedom of thought without leaning into peer pressure, then it's very easy to avoid the bad parts of the internet. 

 

[Forestluv]

@Sombra If the pua community/websites are toxic, are there any healthy resources for young men to learn how to approach women in a healthy way to nitrate dating/relationship?

[Nickyy]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

 

If you have average or above average intelligence and freedom of thought without leaning into peer pressure, then it's very easy to avoid the bad parts of the internet. 

 

That's my intention currently. To develop myself to become an independent thinker . I think it is crucial for enlightenment. I see through the tendancy to parrot and adopt almost religious belief systems around enlightenment. I see it a lot in the forum, or maybe im projecting? Its sometimes difficult to tell

[Forestluv]

@Arcangelo Have you tried something like meetup groups for singles? It seems like women that attend those would be open to dating. 

[Nickyy]

7 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

@Preety_India  I have been single for a while now, so long that it is embarrassing to type it in here.

When guys like me get into pick up is because we are desperate, we have close to zero friends, no social circle whatsoever, and we definitely don't want to swipe left and right, i perceive online dating like a scam.

I have been thinking about the female hobbies for a while now,  with your green light I'll do it for sure. I am so doing it that i am coming back to this thread, telling you about my acting, Pilates, yoga and art lessons.

BTW I am not young i am 40 but i look younger, I do study female nature but i am not good at pick up.......at all......yet.

I am an adrenaline junkie TBH.

You're 40?

I genuinely thought you were a young guy. Your original post communication the vibe of a young person

[Nickyy]

1 minute ago, Sombra said:

@Serotoninluv The only guy I recommend is John Anthony Lifestyles, I actually was living with his roommate in Las Vegas. 

That said UNDOUBTABLY do NOT think John Anthony is your "friend", anyone who talks to him gets sucked into drama somehow- I even heard that from another old roommate that there's just no way around it with that guy.

That said he does cut through the bullshit. But just be aware you're basically learning from a sex addict- no doubt. When you hear his laycount of 1100+ understand that his roommate was able to look me dead in the eye and say that it is 100% true.

John sells cookie-cutter methods I believe on how to replicate his results, but as I mentioned in a previous post any "pua technology" is merely training wheels.

Lastly, there's a good quote I rather like "high-performance people make decisions quickly but change their minds slowly", I think every person I met has their own goals with women. Don't get sucked into anybody else vision for you believe your intimate life should be handled.

That said John (despite sounding like a massive asshole) does a very good job given a level headed and consulting point of view on all of his advice.

No, that's not healthy. It's just another dating coach. I think we need to move away from dating coaches and start to just learn social skills, critical thinking skills, meditation, emotional healing.

That kind of thing.

Everything you need to relate to people is already inside. We just need to unwire the silly ideas we have picked up and start to think for ourselves about what we want from life.

[Arcangelo]

26 minutes ago, Nickyy said:

The best thing you can do is get away from these videos about pickup and start to unprogramme yourself from it. That way you have a chance at actually improving yourself.

Nah man you got me wrong. I haven't watched a pick up video in 4-5 years.What I watch is a dating coach on you tube he mostly focuses on what to do once you are in a date and afterwards, to keep women interested. He says he doesn't do cold approaches anymore because his game is so strong. So there....

I am no PUA i am just a guy that wants to get laid. I wouldn't be doing this pick up shit if i was invited to house parties every weekend or something.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Arcangelo said:

@Preety_India  I have been single for a while now, so long that it is embarrassing to type it in here.

When guys like me get into pick up is because we are desperate, we have close to zero friends, no social circle whatsoever, and we definitely don't want to swipe left and right, i perceive online dating like a scam.

I have been thinking about the female hobbies for a while now,  with your green light I'll do it for sure. I am so doing it that i am coming back to this thread, telling you about my acting, Pilates, yoga and art lessons.

 

Try to seek women who would value you. That way you'll have less rejection. 

Online dating is not necessarily a scam. But I can understand why you feel that way. 

The only solution is to socialize a lot with just everyone. That improves confidence overall. 

Don't be embarrassed because you havebeen single. It means nothing. 

If you get rejected, no worries at all. You're saved from something that wasn't meant any way. 

Be happy in life. Take things light. Focus on personal growth. Not having a woman does not translate a loser. That's social perception peer pressure bullshit. 

Don't chase too much and waste precious time of your youth. You might regret not spending it on personal development. It can be a lose lose situation if it continues. 

Try putting some effort in getting a relationship. I know it's hard especially because of feminism. But you can't waste your life on it. A woman is not everything, (so also a man)

Be happy. There are lots of things to do and to be happy about other than women,dating, relationships and the merry go round. 

Be patient or you will get increasingly desperate resulting in depression or low self esteem. Relationships take time especially if they are going to be real and not some shallow bullshit. 

Be safe and don't engage in relationships with huge red flags just to fill the loneliness,can be a recipe for emotional damage. 

Lastly , nothing triumphs confidence. As long as you are confident of who you are, you'll continue to flourish with or without a woman. Never give up that as a man. Keep building it life long. That's the greatest high or fuel. 

 

[Nickyy]

1 minute ago, Arcangelo said:

Nah man you got me wrong. I haven't watched a pick up video in 4-5 years.What I watch is a dating coach on you tube he mostly focuses on what to do once you are in a date and afterwards, to keep women interested. He says he doesn't do cold approaches anymore because his game is so strong. So there....

I am no PUA i am just a guy that wants to get laid. I wouldn't be doing this pick up shit if i was invited to house parties every weekend or something.

? Still, dating coaches or what not , it's still someone else's ideas tho. You can get laid if you go to a nightclub and get lucky. You can do all of that in a club and it's the right context. People want you to approach them at clubs. 

[Nickyy]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Don't chase too much and waste precious time of your youth. 

His youth is gone. Over. Kaput. The other side of the hill. Lol

It's all downhill from now on

?