Strange jealousy issue

[28 cm unbuffed]

So, I've got this stange jealousy issue and I have no idea what it means.

In my mind there is this loop scenario - that a girl that I love, will cheat on me with my best friend. That's an ego projection - and that's why I want to have sex with her best friend.

I had this strange issue with my ex-girlfriend - just before we were about to get together, I got drunk and kissed with her best friend on a party. 

I understand that it is fear based mechanism, that when I will sleep with her best friend, I will somehow "show her", that I'm able to do anything and she shouldn't mess with me or try to cheat on me. But again - maybe that's the shadow and something I got to do? 

I'm really interested about that, because right now I'm going through dark night of the soul and a lot of bipolar thoughts are on my mind, what makes it even more confusing. 

Edited November 17, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Preety_India]

@28 cm unbuffed

5 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

So, I've got this stange jealousy issue and I have no idea what it means. In my mind there is this loop scenario - that a girl that I love will cheat on my with my best friend. That's an ego projection - and that's why I want to have sex with her best friend.

I had this strange issue with my ex-girlfriend - just before we were about to get together i got drunk and kissed with her best friend on a party. 

I understand that it is fear based mechanism, that when I will sleep with her best friend I will show her that I'm able to do anything and she shouldn't mess with me or try to cheat on me. But again - maybe that's the shadow and something I got to do? 

I'm really interested about that, because right now I'm going through dark night of the soul and a lot of bipolar thoughts are on my mind right now and it makes it even more confusing. 

I'm sorry but you're showing sociopathic tendencies of manipulation and control pretty early on. Please remove those thoughts out of your mind.

The need to hurt a lover just to get at them is downright dangerous. It's emotional manipulation usually seen in sociopathic behaviors. 

It can either stem from deep insecurity or the need to sake revenge as seen in borderline bipolars. 

If you have a girlfriend who cheats on you in order to hurt you, she is a huge red flag and should be dropped immediately. 

Such behavior from either you or her only leads to long term emotional damage. 

Recognize that in a healthy relationship you do not have to say "don't mess with me or else"....not at all. 

You're showing distress signals. You're already building up your defense in dysfunctional ways in order to avoid getting offended or betrayed. 

This will totally dismantle your relationship. 

Solution-

1. Work on your anxiety
2. Seek therapy
3. Open communication with partner 
4. No playing games
5. Draw boundaries and communicate them succinctly. 
6. Learn to reject if something is very bad 
7. Do not jump the gun. No premature judgement
8. Remove cognitive dissonance or inner conflict that she might do so and so. 
9. Be on your best behavior. If the partner is not on their best behavior, leave them 
10. Have readiness to confront. Don't be scared to confront. Let feelings show instead of bottling up. Don't be sneaky about it. 
11. Don't let your ego ruin it. Have enough self control. Nothing is going to hurt your ego as long as you don't allow it. 
12. Keep calm under pressure 
13. Work on anger issues. Suppressed anger management. 
14. Practice forgiveness and letting go when tension builds up. 

 

She is subject to damage as much as you are. Try to keep your emotional state safe and don't get worked up. Avoid predatory behavior. 

Focus on positive things. Keep negativity away. The only reason you attach to negativity is because of deep rooted survival need and the paranoid need to scan for threats . This is a fear based mechanism but it can quickly become out of control and unnecessarily paranoid.

Be balanced and reasonable with your fears. Don't get carried away by your primal survival based fears. 

Good luck

[Alissa]

@28 cm unbuffed

First importantly what's good is that you're aware of your ego projection. You got to ask yourself whether this issue belongs to your past or not, cause probably your case can be a reactive feeling to an old situation (i.e: your previous x cheated on you, your mom cheated on your dad, etc). 

Secondly take into consideration the source of your issue ; is it just a pattern of thoughts and feelings or a real belief you're holding in your subconscious mind that includes "showing your partner that you're capable of doing anything and she shouldn't mess out with you"? 

Thirdly get to know about your thoughts and opinions of how relationships work and how to sustain them; is it by applying love and respect to the relationship or by controlling the partner and being dominant in the relationship? 

Forthly get a clear understanding of your thoughts about cheating and its reasons. And think about what love means to you,  how you love and how you show your partner compassion and true love. 

As long as you're going through the dark night of the soul, try your best to be aware of your feelings, thoughts and tendencies during this period. Don't be too harsh on yourself and try to get the clearest image of who you think you are in the most difficult times. Remember that you are your best friend so be kind to yourself.           Good luck ❤️

 

 

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

Right off the bat something that kind of baffles me about your thought process is that you cheating on your girlfriend by sleeping with her best friend and her being aware of that, will make it LESS likely that she cheats on you? That is for sure going to backfire on you. It will likely be the exact opposite of that, she will be more likely to cheat on you, if she doesnt leave you first or your relationship doesnt crumble into pieces because of that. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

i'm have no fucking idea what's going on, but please hear me out

there is a concept called "twin flames" in spirituality and i think i found mine

we had this karmic contract with each other: i'm this jealous, needy guy, who was too scary to engage on her sexually (karma which I got from my mother I think: she got cheated on by my step father after 25 years of relationship)

she is a girl, that doesn't give a fuck and always gets what she wants (her mother is the same and she cheated on her father just to make him less lazy and to become responsible)

dark night of the soul got activated by her "breaking my heart", i felt her having and orgasm with someone and that crushed my solar plexus chakra into pieces and created a channel from root chakra to heart chakra, so that i can feel all of stored emotions

and i get these "dark energies" attacks from all around that i have to "fight" now

she is like Marie Magdalene in Christianity or Goddess Kali for Hinduism and my job is to help her heal now

it's so fucking crazy and I would never believe that, but yet it's real

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

i'm have no fucking idea what's going on, but please hear me out

there is a concept called "twin flames" in spirituality and i think i found mine

we had this karmic contract with each other: i'm this jealous, needy guy, who was too scary to engage on her sexually (karma which I got from my mother I think: she got cheated on by my step father after 25 years of relationship)

she is a girl, that doesn't give a fuck and always gets what she wants (her mother is the same and she cheated on her father just to make him less lazy and to become responsible)

dark night of the soul got activated by her "breaking my heart", i felt her having and orgasm with someone and that crushed my solar plexus chakra into pieces and created a channel from root chakra to heart chakra, so that i can feel all of stored emotions

and i get these "dark energies" attacks from all around that i have to "fight" now

she is like Marie Magdalene in Christianity or Goddess Kali for Hinduism and my job is to help her heal now

it's so fucking crazy and I would never believe that, but yet it's real

I'm completely confused. 

 

 

[28 cm unbuffed]

 

[mandyjw]

16 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

she is like Marie Magdalene in Christianity or Goddess Kali for Hinduism and my job is to help her heal now

it's so fucking crazy and I would never believe that, but yet it's real

Not crazy, but let's take one step back and one deep breath. 

Ready?

You are Mary Magdalene and Goddess Kali. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@mandyjw

Yeah, I know that. Twin Flames are basically two parts of the same soul and my lust is something i have to heal and integrate by balancing my emotions. 

But still - I have no idea, what is the best way to go about that.

 

P.S

This morning I had this strange feeling like - it's all me - I want to cheat on myself, I don't trust myself, I want to fight myself, etc. It may be spiritual awakening / nonduality stuff opening in me.

Edited November 18, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[mandyjw]

@28 cm unbuffed Sex and attraction seems to be one of God's favorite ways of getting our attention.  It's so similar to the feeling of ego death and desire for unity, and yet also potentially such a powerful distraction from that thing itself.

Awareness, awareness, awareness. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@mandyjw So, basically, you are telling me to get out there and have tons of sex?

Edited November 18, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[mandyjw]

@28 cm unbuffed  No, just be very aware of everything you think, feel and do around that subject, pay attention to the structure, not the content. Things are not as they appear. 

For whatever reason I still really like to believe that Jesus and Mary Magdalene never had sex. 

[Alissa]

@28 cm unbuffed alright I sort of got you. As long as you found your twin flame, you got to take the guide from your higher self to understand how to truly help her heal. No one here can really help you  ;we're just giving you  opinions that bounce in the sphere of reality but don't actually give the truest solution or guide. 

Also watch out your criticizing words that you use for judging your twin flame to understand yourself in a better way, and work on yourself. I think my comment didn't add much to you, but really sometimes I feel that that's what I need to hear (to go inwards in a deeper way). Wish you all the best ?

[28 cm unbuffed]

So, basically, what I found out is that when I feel suffering about something, let's say - i suffer, because I think it's bad that she has to go through all of that - I'm wrong and that's rooted deeply in guilt.

I feel guilty and what I need to do is to find out the root cause "wrong thought" of that guilt. 

That's what I got for now, any help would be great, really need to help her.

Edited November 18, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[28 cm unbuffed]

In this topic: 

I wrote about some kind of "demon" that is waking up inside of me and that wants to take over control. First I thought it's something bad, but I went with all this dark night of the soul / awakening / shadow integration work and I realised the thing I have to do is to love it fully.

So, as @mandyjw noticed - Goddess Kali is me. There is really great karmic circle that is about to end soon and that I will write about.

So - friend of mine, was on a trip with this girl and she told him, that nothing can happen between them and he is basically just sitting home and playing computer games since then (like 2+ years).

Now, after Mercury : Retrograde he became furious and he feels like killing her, just to find out what really happened. This girl I think, really wants to be with this other guy, which doesn't give a fuck about her and prefers to fuck young girls. I think the friend of mine is there to show him what love really means, I mean, the "brutal nature of love".

Second part, which includes me and this girl i mentioned - I think she went into "shame vibration mode", became a dirty whore/slut/Mary Magdalene, because her ex, friend of mine was using her, just for sex and she was too good of a person to tell him "no".

All this time she was telling me, that they didn't have sex for like 2 years and that she doesn't have sex without love. And all this time she was giving me signs, that something is wrong between me and him and we have to end that "something". That's why I wrote about Lion King fighting Scar in topic above - I think he is a personalisation of my shadow - being good and having a huge heart, but only when it serves him.

So - that realisation led me to awaken Kali within me too, just like my friend and this girl. I feel this strong lust for blood, to kill, just for justice, just to save her.

It's some kind of Brahma - Vishnu - Shiva dynamic between three of us. 

 

Edited November 19, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Sombra

Dunno about her, but I'm not on antidepressants, I actually quitted smoking due to all of this situation, it was killing me more then helping and it was somehow "blocking the channel" between root and heart chakra. 

I never was in love with a chick.

With a girl before her i almost did the same shit, before even knowing her, so it's not out of love, more of out of lust / fear of being alone.

Edited November 19, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Preety_India]

@28 cm unbuffed

When love/desire and fear get all mixed up like that, you know that something really important is going on. Remember that we can only ever be afraid of ourselves. Try not to overthink it, but go into the experience for what it is in the moment. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Preety_India

Thank you, i just got like 10 epithanies this morning about what my karmic circle is all about.

Thank you all for help.

So: (maybe it will help someone) - I was with a girl 3 days ago, we kissed, we touched each other and I started to finger her. 

I didn't feel anything towards her, but still - intuition told me I should do it. After some time of me fingering her she told something like - "I'm not good with emotions" and that was it.

Next day I went and asked her: "ok, so - what do we do with all of that?". She was just like "dunno, nothing". And that moment I felt like energy was drained from me and i realised that I got used. She was walking around the house pridefully and I noticed that immediately. 

That situation helped me realise how all of this works: everytime you are having an orgasm or draining sexual energy from somebody, eventually you will get your karma. It's like a law of physics. How do I know that? I talked to this girl again yesterday and words she used were like messages from her subconciouss that she feels guilty, like: "i have to smoke", "i went to Mc Donalds today", "I like little guilty pleasures" etc. 

So - me and this girl, that I called my Twin Flame got the same karmic pattern - I was sleeping with a girl I didn't love and she was sleeping with a guy she didn't love - we both felt guilty, that we are using them, so (sneaky ego mechanism) - we used them more, out of guilt of course. After some time of doing that, my mind went completely bananas and basically I became a fucked up human being and I really had to work hard on myself to fix all of that shit. 

And now all of that guilt and shame got her - "demonic possesion" you may call it, but let's just say it's degragation of the mind, frying your mind with electrical signal by orgasm, not out of love, but out of guilt.

The more guilt you put your mind to, the more guilty you will feel and act out of it. 

So to sum things up - my ex used me, I apologised to her and she forgave me. Some time after I felt a need to comment her photo with something funny and she tried to shame me for that. I didn't react (cause fuck guilt, right? It was for just for fun).

She deleted me from my friends list and I was like - wtf, why would you do that, you tried to use me again and your sneaky plan didn't work? 

And now I have to get the truth out of my Twin Flames' ex - did they have sex out of love, or was he just using her - and that's the Lion King vs Scar fight I was mentioning in other post. It all makes perfect sense.

 

Edited November 19, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Preety_India

Thank you, i just got like 10 epithanies this morning about what my karmic circle is all about.

Thank you all for help.

So: (maybe it will help someone) - I was with a girl 3 days ago, we kissed, we touched each other and I started to finger her. 

I didn't feel anything towards her, but still - intuition told me I should do it. After some time of me fingering her she told something like - "I'm not good with emotions" and that was it.

Next day I went and asked her: "ok, so - what do we do with all of that?". She was just like "dunno, nothing". And that moment I felt like energy was drained from me and i realised that I got used. She was walking around the house pridefully and I noticed that immediately. 

That situation helped me realise how all of this works: everytime you are having an orgasm or draining sexual energy from somebody, eventually you will get your karma. It's like a law of physics. How do I know that? I talked to this girl again yesterday and words she used were like messages from her subconciouss that she feels guilty, like: "i have to smoke", "i went to Mc Donalds today", "I like little guilty pleasures" etc. 

So - me and this girl, that I called my Twin Flame got the same karmic pattern - I was sleeping with a girl I didn't love and she was sleeping with a guy she didn't love - we both felt guilty, that we are using them, so (sneaky ego mechanism) - we used them more, out of guilt of course. After some time of doing that, my mind went completely bananas and basically I became a fucked up human being and I really had to work hard on myself to fix all of that shit. 

And now all of that guilt and shame got her - "demonic possesion" you may call it, but let's just say it's degragation of the mind, frying your mind with electrical signal by orgasm, not out of love, but out of guilt.

The more guilt you put your mind to, the more guilty you will feel and act out of it. 

So to sum things up - my ex used me, I apologised to her and she forgave me. Some time after I felt a need to comment her photo with something funny and she tried to shame me for that. I didn't react (cause fuck guilt, right? It was for just for fun).

She deleted me from my friends list and I was like - wtf, why would you do that, you tried to use me again and your sneaky plan didn't work? 

And now I have to get the truth out of my Twin Flames' ex - did they have sex out of love, or was he just using her - and that's the Lion King vs Scar fight I was mentioning in other post. It all makes perfect sense.

 

Yea totally true. The karmic circle. I have my own saying for that. I don't know how much people believe in it but it goes like "you attract the energy you create"... I see this happening everyday. This is how the karmic cycle begins and end. Life for example if you say a lie, or have sex without the motivation of love, you have created a karmic energy in the moment. This karmic energy stays in the environment. 

Now after a few days either your partner or you realize the truth that the relationship has no true value and the sex was without love. At this point the karmic energy manifested itself as an outcome. 

Now understand this. This is where it gets important. The reason you attracted a partner who also showed similar karmic pattern is because of your own karmic energy created by you.. "you attract the energy you create".... If you had created the energy of truth, your karmic energy would have represented truth and attracted a truthful partner in return. Because the karmic energy you create has to find a way to expose or manifest itself. So it ultimately gets exposed or manifested in a situation that has been gradually attracted by it for the purpose of expression or final outcome or exposure. Now if you expressed the karmic energy of great friendship you will attract a great friend. You created the karmic energy of sex without love so you were gradually taken to a situation where you realize that both you and her were using each other for sex without love leading to guilt. This guilt situation was attracted by your initial karmic energy and also by her karmic energy. That's why such a situation came. 

Hope it makes sense now

 

[Fede83]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Yea totally true. The karmic circle. I have my own saying for that. I don't know how much people believe in it but it goes like "you attract the energy you create"... I see this happening everyday. This is how the karmic cycle begins and end. Life for example if you say a lie, or have sex without the motivation of love, you have created a karmic energy in the moment. This karmic energy stays in the environment. 

Now after a few days either your partner or you realize the truth that the relationship has no true value and the sex was without love. At this point the karmic energy manifested itself as an outcome. 

Now understand this. This is where it gets important. The reason you attracted a partner who also showed similar karmic pattern is because of your own karmic energy created by you.. "you attract the energy you create".... If you had created the energy of truth, your karmic energy would have represented truth and attracted a truthful partner in return. Because the karmic energy you create has to find a way to expose or manifest itself. So it ultimately gets exposed or manifested in a situation that has been gradually attracted by it for the purpose of expression or final outcome or exposure. Now if you expressed the karmic energy of great friendship you will attract a great friend. You created the karmic energy of sex without love so you were gradually taken to a situation where you realize that both you and her were using each other for sex without love leading to guilt. This guilt situation was attracted by your initial karmic energy and also by her karmic energy. That's why such a situation came. 

Hope it makes sense now

 

This karmic circle got me❤️❤️ Can u suggest me some book for it?? Much love ❤️❤️