If I see some traits of Feminism as a threat or unfair is because I´m biased?

[Preety_India]

3 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

The power of women, once again, isn't trying to beat men at their strengths, but it's to own their unique role in this world and get in touch with their own feminine essence.

Women are not trying to beat men. A woman needs financial independence. It's absolutely important for her. That in no way means she is trying to defeat the man. I have no idea why you think that. 

Women need a job just as much as a man needs. Why should it be otherwise. This does not degrade her feminine essence in any way.. 

In your mom's case I can completely understand that she might have wanted a wonderful person in her life to share her struggles and take pressure off her, but it's kinda unrealistic to expect that. There is no knight in shining armor kind of a guy who wants to rescue a woman from all her troubles and take care of her emotional and security needs. The word here is "willing" that you have used here 

14 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Most women thrive when they have an emotionally safe partner who's willing to take care of them and who makes them feel safe and secure physically.

Most men are not willing or they are willing only for some time. Do you think that if you were offered money to sit on the couch then you would say no. Absolutely not. Nobody will.. A woman is very lucky to find a man who is wonderful and kind. But it's not always a story with a happy ending. She has to find her own way. 

Now the toxic part of feminism. It is true that women need independence so they can survive on their own two feet. But feminism is not all rosy. There are parts in it which are toxic. Like I have seen women in higher positions wielding their power to demean and destroy people. 

My boss at work is a female. And I have encountered a lot of misuse of power and abuse. She fired an employee simply because they didn't get along well, she was a hard working girl and we had become good friends but the boss was sorta jealous of her and wanted to rid of her. This is where feminism gets toxic. 

Feminism is not inherently toxic. Because it was meant to empower women and help them with their survival, needs and ambition..

But a lot of women exploit feminism. A very good example of this is seen in divorce cases especially in the West where the woman strips the man naked of any financial asset and sometimes even denies the man the right to see his children. My ex boyfriend who was an American had this problem. His ex wouldn't allow him to see his own child. Its ridiculous. His mom sent him to a cult where he was exploited and abused. He was raised without a dad because his mom did not think that a man was needed around her kids. Now you see? His mom and ex made his life unbearable to the point where he was suicidal. That made him abusive to me in return because he started despising women as a result of his past and I had to suffer the brunt of his hate of women. But his hate is reasonable because he was a good guy, he was great at school but the women in his life ruined him. This is where feminism gets toxic. When a woman gets disproportionate amount of power and she can do whatever she wants for her family, children etc. Her decisions have no supervision or approval. And if she ever gets criticized she is quick to pull out the woman card. 

Feminism becomes toxic when a woman thinks she can never go wrong and when she is never subjected to scrutiny and when she is never held accountable for her bad decisions and choices. When she never has to pay or get punished for wrecking lives but let go with a slap on the wrist just because she is a woman. 

Feminism becomes toxic when a woman is not treated as a normal human being capable of flaws and failings, but put on a pedestal and treated like a goddess. 

I have seen both good and bad sides of feminism. It's like a double edged sword. The good side is when a woman is given support so she can survive on her own when she is empowered to Iive her life with confidence, when she given tools and resources and opportunities so that she can achieve her dreams and ambitions, when she is offered help in distress so she quits abusive dependent relationships and finds her survival. 

The bad side is when she uses her power to control and dominate other's lives, when she makes decisions that are never objected or questioned, when she assumes unquestioned authority and nobody can find her wrong because she is a woman. 

 

 

 

[Arcangelo]

Thank you SO MUCH for this post! ^

19 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

But a lot of women exploit feminism. A very good example of this is seen in divorce cases especially in the West where the woman strips the man naked of any financial asset

You see? I told you guys. This is why is not a good idea to get married in the first place.

 

 

Arc

[Ananta]

29 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

good example of this is seen in divorce cases especially in the West where the woman strips the man naked of any financial asset and sometimes even denies the man the right to see his children.

I've not been divorced, but here in the West the women and men are entitled to 1/2 of all assets, a judge doesn't allow a women to just strip away all assets. 

Also, the judge awards a custody arrangement, if either party does not abide by this arrangement. They can be brought back to court and held accountable, they may even lose their own rights if they break the arrangement.

Men can even get full custody if the women are an unfit parent. I know this because my father was awarded full custody of me and my sister, but he allowed my mother visitation regardless.

 

 

 

[Ananta]

1 hour ago, Arcangelo said:

 

You see? I told you guys. This is why is not a good idea to get married in the first place.

 

 

Arc

You should not marry then, its probably a bad idea for you. 

[Arcangelo]

4 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

You should not marry then, its probably a bad idea for you. 

Leo has a video: Stop moralizing, eliminate the shoulds out of your life.

The odds for a divorce are 50/50 when you get married. Will you jump out of a plane using a parachute with those odds? Obviously no right? Then why marry? I am saying that getting married is not a good idea for anyone, man or women.

 

Arc

Edited December 21, 2019 by Arcangelo
added men or women

[Ananta]

17 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

The odds for a divorce are 50/50 when you get married. Will you jump out of a plane using a parachute with those odds? Obviously no right? Then why marry? I am saying that getting married is not a good idea for anyone.

I've been married since 1991, that is 28 years.

Also, my son is 27 years old and he is in a happy relationship. 

[Ananta]

@Arcangelo

Then don't marry.

[Preety_India]

46 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

I've not been divorced, but here in the West the women and men are entitled to 1/2 of all assets, a judge doesn't allow women to strip away all assets.

Also, the judge awards a custody arrangement, if either party do not abide by this arrangement. They can be brought back to court and held accountable, they may even lose their own rights if they break the arrangement.

Men can even get full custody if the women is unfit. I know this because my father was awarded full custody of me and my sister, but he allowed my mother visitation regardless.

 

 

 

Is that the reason why prenups exist in the west. Is that the reason why men are scared to get married there. Is that the reason why my ex was never allowed to see his child and his ex  got hold of his house, car and even his dog. I am not very convinced.. 

Men in western countries aren't complaining for nothing. I know how the situation is. The judge awarded the custody to the wife and he protested it in court. Still it was her win. 

Plus do you wanna know what else his ex did.. In May of this year she went to court to have their son's last name changed over to her last name, so basically completely obliterating her ex husband's identity from her son's life. And when he informed her that he is going to protest it in court, she immediately filed a retraining order against him on absolutely no grounds because a woman's word weighs more in American courts than a man's. 

It's the whole "me too" movement in America.. Believe a woman even when she is bullshitting. 

His ex has flouted all rules when it comes to coparenting. And the courts have never done anything. If he ever tried to protest he is made to look like the bad guy. 

He was hit by another woman in the face right in front of me when I was there with him in New Orleans. Guess what.. She went to her room and called the cops on him and lied to them that he was the attacker. My testimony saved him. Because there were injuries on his face. So they arrested her and basically just released within hours. 

So much for equality 

Casey Anthony is another great example. 

I'm not saying that equality doesn't exist constitutionally. 

But nobody cares about the nitty gritty of the constitution in small county courts. 

Women are easily believed and they also have an upper hand in divorce cases a lot of the time. 

The only time the man is believed is when there is hardcore evidence of her abuse and if she is a drug addict with a bad history of abuse. Maybe then

Western feminism is just getting toxic day by day. 

It's getting sexist. 

Hillary Clinton defending a rapist and dehumanizing a 12 year old and getting away with it. 

Women in western countries don't face the same consequences as men for similar crimes. 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2019 by Preety_India

[Ananta]

57 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Is that the reason why prenups exist in the west

Yes, if you want to keep what you came into the marriage with and not split it if a divorce happens then you need a prenup.

57 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Is that the reason why men are scared to get married there.

I've not heard this from any man, irl. Only men I've heard say this are on this forum.

 

57 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Is that the reason why my ex was never allowed to see his child and his ex  got hold of his house, car and even his dog. I am not very convinced.. 

Sometimes the one that gets to have main custody of the kids, also gets the house and dog, because it is what's best for the kids, but not always.

Divorce with kids is never totally fair for both ppl, how could it be? If both want main custody, only one will get it or they do joint custody. 

If both want the house only one will get it or they sell it and take 1/2 the profit.

57 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Western feminism is just getting toxic day by day. 

That's your opinion. I live here and I disagree.

 

[Preety_India]

 

What I saw from personal experience is that when women get full and absolute control and power, they turn into gangsters, they become hard and unempathetic. They get impossible to deal with. They develop this "my way or no way" attitude towards people and things. 

Conversely it could also be that women who are bossy and controlling are more likely to fight for a dominating position or a place of authority. They vie for such positions because it fulfills their need for power and control. 

Also in my experience I have worked under both a male and a female boss. 

And a domineering male boss is obviously bad but a domineering female boss is even worse. 

Here I'm not trying to imply that each and every woman is like that. But based on my personal experiences, I have tasted the toxic feminist experience and its hard to deal with. 

I want equality for both men and women but at the same time I have witnessed that women so often try to bring each other down that it's hard to believe if they really mean what they say when they use the word girl power. 

I have seen many examples of women tearing each other down by insulting, humiliating, Jealousy and sabotaging each other's progress that its hard to take a woman's word seriously and think that she genuinely wants other women to do well. 

Therefore at least in my opinion a woman cannot be completely trusted in a position of authority because she does not leave her emotions in her  bedroom, she carries them on her sleeve. 

When I see a woman in a position of authority I see her more worried about her husband and kids than the role she is supposed to play in her capacity at her position. She appears to be psychopathic, manipulative and selfish and uses the resources for her and her family's benefit rather than focusing on the commitments of the role. It's like instead of using her skills and talents to bring value to her role, it seems like she uses the role to bring value to her life. The word that will describe this behavior is "self serving." 

Women are absolutely capable of achieving the same thing that men achieve but there's a caveat and that is her attitude. She brings this " I'm a woman" attitude to everything which makes it hard to consider men and women neutrally. It means that she wants equality but actually bags for more than equality, and she wants everything to be gender neutral yet her constant need to stress that she is a woman actually makes her very exclusive and difficult to be considered ordinary or unassuming. 

When a woman doesn't get what she wants in an authority position she is quick to play the victim which I see as another tactic to get what she wants. 

These are just some of the instances of behavior I normally observe in women in authority positions. 

These are not absolute representations of women, just relative and depend from woman to woman. 

Of course not all women are going to exhibit every toxic behavior, but these are some of the behaviors that represent or bring out the toxicity in feminism. 

 

 

 

[Ananta]

@Preety_India Wow.

That's really too bad.

Imo, all "people" can behave badly. It's not necessarily a gender thing.

 

[Preety_India]

14 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

@Preety_India Wow.

That's really too bad.

Imo, all "people" can behave badly. It's not necessarily a gender thing.

 

Of course it's not a gender thing at all. Men can behave bad in their own ways. I was just pointing out ways in which women can behave badly (especially when given control and power)  and this bad behavior is usually hard to notice because it's covert. 

[Parththakkar12]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Do you think that if you were offered money to sit on the couch then you would say no. Absolutely not. Nobody will.

Of course I'll gladly accept free money! Having said that, most men will NOT thrive in a situation where they're getting provided for! In fact, if he doesn't become financially independent, he'll literally rot within the confines of the comfort zone of getting provided for. If there's nothing to do in his life, a guy will not have a sense of direction/purpose which is pretty depressing. A chaotic situation is better than a static comfort zone for a guy, cuz there's things to do in a chaotic situation and guys are in their element in a chaotic situation. Feel free to look at the empty lives of guys who are trust-fund babies!

It's important to note that this isn't the case for most women, i.e. women generally get frightened and slip into terror/anxiety in a chaotic situation. However, in a peaceful/safe situation, they'll just be able to flow and create better when they don't have the pressure of providing on them. (All of this is from my own experience)

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Most men are not willing or they are willing only for some time. Do you think that if you were offered money to sit on the couch then you would say no. Absolutely not. Nobody will.. A woman is very lucky to find a man who is wonderful and kind. But it's not always a story with a happy ending. She has to find her own way. 

In my opinion this is a failure of men. It's not fun, as a guy, to tell a woman that I'll not be able to provide for her!

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Women need a job just as much as a man needs. Why should it be otherwise. This does not degrade her feminine essence in any way..

In my opinion, it's a failing of our society that women have to take on the pressure of providing. Generally, women have to suppress their femininity (It doesn't have to be this way in all cases, it's true in most cases) and be in the masculine in order to take on the pressure. I'm not against the society allowing women to work (which by the way is a fairly recent occurrence), but in the healthiest and happiest relationships, the man is mostly the provider. I'm not saying that becoming dependent on any random guy will solve all your problems, it's gotta be emotionally safe and authentic.

Edited December 22, 2019 by Parththakkar12

[silene]

14 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

society allowing women to work (which by the way is a fairly recent occurrence),

I suggest the opposite is true: the stay-at-home, non-working woman is a minority lifestyle mainly practiced by middle and upper income families. We mustn't forget that housework, childcare, care of the elderly etc is still work, but reading between the lines perhaps you really mean paid employment. However, I've seen plenty of examples of  working class women, toiling in the fields, mills and factories.  Then I saw this quote from Wikipedia on hunter gatherer societies: 

"One common arrangement is the sexual division of labour, with women doing most of the gathering, while men concentrate on big game hunting. In all hunter-gatherer societies, women appreciate the meat brought back to camp by men. An illustrative account is Megan Biesele's study of the southern African Ju/'hoan, 'Women Like Meat'.[30] Recent archaeological research suggests that the sexual division of labor was the fundamental organisational innovation that gave Homo sapiens the edge over the Neanderthals, allowing our ancestors to migrate from Africa and spread across the globe.[31]" 

So both women and men have always worked and contributed to their families and tribes. What's newish is challenging the traditional types of work allowed, especially for poorer men and women. 

Edited December 22, 2019 by silene

[Codrina]

I have lived in 3 countries over the last 4 years. There is a feminist movement going on everywhere. And it gave me an uncomfortable feeling. I can feel energy quite well. And this year my awareness grew even more, thanks to me focusing more inward. 

In England there are men who are not allowed to spend time with their children, unless their mother agrees. Good, working men. The mother has all the rights. I see them lost in a stupid war over old grudges. Stories of 'I want to spend a weekend with my son and she said yes and now she changed her mind because she woke up feeling miserable and now wants to make me miserable as well'.  And the children are the ones who suffer most. And it is a surprising amount of people in this story. I was truly shocked witnessing the same dynamic over and over again.

In Spain there're feminist campaigns everywhere. Art, music, marketing, you name it. The more cosmopolitan the city, the more you see it spread. Like Barcelona is more into this paradigm than Madrid.

What concerns me though, is that this story of feminism is not really about equal rights, but about revenge. There is a lot of hatred, blaming and shaming towards men. It is more like an annihilation of men, making them look mean, stupid and useless.

The feminist propaganda I notice is not about how men and women share the same qualities, strengths and faults, but about how men hurt women through out history and how they are monsters and women are innocent victims.

I feel this comes as an inevitable repercussion from women who denied themselves authenticity in favour of comfort. 

Comfort is the great temptation which suppresses growth. And women had more opportunities to choose comfort over authenticity than men, an offer many women took.

I wish them to see beyond their pointless blaming and hatred. 

 

[Alyosha]

I support equality of genders, but I refuse to be dominated and bullied by women taking advantage of feminism. And yes I've seen that happen first hand. 

[Alyosha]

On 12/21/2019 at 7:10 PM, Preety_India said:

Of course it's not a gender thing at all. Men can behave bad in their own ways. I was just pointing out ways in which women can behave badly (especially when given control and power)  and this bad behavior is usually hard to notice because it's covert. 

The worst bosses I've ever had were all women. 

[Ananta]

10 minutes ago, Alyosha said:

The worst bosses I've ever had were all women. 

That's a shame.  As a new "boss" myself I think I try to relate very well with ppl and I'm proud of that. I've already had to "correct" others, but I don't do it it a deaming way. I try to build them up and help them be better.

[Alyosha]

2 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

That's a shame.  As a new "boss" myself I think I try to relate very well with ppl and I'm proud of that. I've already had to "correct" others, but I don't do it it a deaming way. I try to build them up and help them be better.

I apologize if my post caused any offense. 

[Ananta]

1 minute ago, Alyosha said:

I apologize if my post caused any offense. 

No problem,  but women are sometimes getting a bad rap. I'm very nice irl to ppl. I got all the ppl I work with a Christmas gift for example. One lady who works for me was so surprised and happy, she came to me crying and hugged me. I loved it.?