Hard to make new friends

[Fede83]

I see myself every day that goes on trying to give an excuse to myself about why i have no friends ... I am usually very friendly with anyone who coming along me especially at work, but I can't take the step to ask a person to go out for a drink in a friendly way .. it seems like there's a block inside me that prevents me from freeing myself ... can it be a defense mechanism for my ego that feels the need to keep me safe? past traumas can block my social growth? it is almost a year that I practice meditation every day for about 30 minutes .. I found inner peace but now it is like if I was afraid of all this..someone sees me in my words ? Is the spiritual awakening process that I’m going trough related to what’s happening here ?immense love for each of you ❤️❤️

[Cocolove]

What is it that you want friends for? Like, what do you want to do with your friends? Like seriously, anything from mountain biking to going to the beach to clubbing. Find that. Go do it. Meet people there. Do it with them. Now you have friends.

[Fede83]

I appreciate ur words ❤️

But is not that easy for me:) I just want friends to interact together and to have a social life and all stuff coming along

8 minutes ago, Cocolove said:

What is it that you want friends for? Like, what do you want to do with your friends? Like seriously, anything from mountain biking to going to the beach to clubbing. Find that. Go do it. Meet people there. Do it with them. Now you have friends.

 

[Alissa]

@Fede83 Hello! 

• First of all being friendly with everyone around you isn't a way of having more friends.
• Secondly determine what kind of people you want to be friending (if this doesn't matter then it becomes easier for you to make more friends of different backgrounds and ages) 
• Thridly you got to talk to people in unusual, informal manner. Either ask them about how their day was, or what is their favorite movie. Or you can talk about yourself as an opening to a conversation. 
• Forthly you got to push yourself to talk first and ask questions first. This's not easy for introverted or shy people, but try your best. 
• Fifthly be more humorous with people. People are attracted to funny people and like to spend more time with them.                     I hope that helped you. Good luck ❣️

[Peo]

Maybe your just an introvert

[Nickyy]

4 minutes ago, Peo said:

Maybe your just an introvert

Maybe, but introverts are able to easily make friends, they have friends, but they prefer to introspect, spend time alone. This is where they get their energy. I'm introverted.

 

6 hours ago, Fede83 said:

I see myself every day that goes on trying to give an excuse to myself about why i have no friends ... 

That's good that you notice yourself making excuses. Just keep an eye on that, don't judge it, just observe it.

6 hours ago, Fede83 said:

but I can't take the step to ask a person to go out for a drink in a friendly way 

Watch how your mind tries to come to a definitive conclusion about who you are and what your capabilities are. Look how sneaky the mind is at keeping you stuck (it's only trying to protect you by the way?, so don't judge it, just observe these tendancies in your mind).

Think about a time where you have acted in different ways. Think about times when you were more confident. Now look at your belief and look at those memories of you being more confident . Is it really true that you "can't" take the step to ask someone out for a drink? 

Sounds weird doesn't it? When you look at this belief it surely doesnt seem right that you define yourself so narrowly. 

Take action and just ask someone out. It doesn't matter if they say yes or no, and it doesn't matter if your night out isnt a great success in your preception. All that matters is you took action. 

Keep taking action and before you know it you will be immersed in having a good time.

When your night is done, come back to your post here and review it. Review it in light of your night out and see the difference in how you feel when you read your original comment. 

Soon you will be onto your next challenge and wondering what all the fuss was about 

[Fede83]

21 hours ago, Alissa said:

@Fede83 Hello! 

• First of all being friendly with everyone around you isn't a way of having more friends.
• Secondly determine what kind of people you want to be friending (if this doesn't matter then it becomes easier for you to make more friends of different backgrounds and ages) 
• Thridly you got to talk to people in unusual, informal manner. Either ask them about how their day was, or what is their favorite movie. Or you can talk about yourself as an opening to a conversation. 
• Forthly you got to push yourself to talk first and ask questions first. This's not easy for introverted or shy people, but try your best. 
• Fifthly be more humorous with people. People are attracted to funny people and like to spend more time with them.                     I hope that helped you. Good luck ❣️

I was stucked in a loop but after he meditation yesterday night I move over it, my mind plus my ego they like to make up stories ❤️But thank u for ur time here appreciated a lot ❤️

 

21 hours ago, Nickyy said:

Maybe, but introverts are able to easily make friends, they have friends, but they prefer to introspect, spend time alone. This is where they get their energy. I'm introverted.

 

That's good that you notice yourself making excuses. Just keep an eye on that, don't judge it, just observe it.

Watch how your mind tries to come to a definitive conclusion about who you are and what your capabilities are. Look how sneaky the mind is at keeping you stuck (it's only trying to protect you by the way?, so don't judge it, just observe these tendancies in your mind).

Think about a time where you have acted in different ways. Think about times when you were more confident. Now look at your belief and look at those memories of you being more confident . Is it really true that you "can't" take the step to ask someone out for a drink? 

Sounds weird doesn't it? When you look at this belief it surely doesnt seem right that you define yourself so narrowly. 

Take action and just ask someone out. It doesn't matter if they say yes or no, and it doesn't matter if your night out isnt a great success in your preception. All that matters is you took action. 

Keep taking action and before you know it you will be immersed in having a good time.

When your night is done, come back to your post here and review it. Review it in light of your night out and see the difference in how you feel when you read your original comment. 

Soon you will be onto your next challenge and wondering what all the fuss was about 

This is a very beatiful insight, thank u for sharing it❤️ I already moved over was a temporary block but I thank u immensely ❤️

[Key Elements]

Hi, just sharing...

Join a nice group with a common goal. What are you trying to accomplish in this life? Let the goal be professional and profound. Study the group before you join. Plan ahead before you join. Think of just a handful of good questions to ask about the topic. Try to have a good discussion. Be a good listener. I wouldn't jump into a friendship right away. Real friends take time.

Another key thing: be professional first. You don't expose everything of yourself all at once. Watch your step. There are ppl who will take advantage of you if you do this. If you're on a deeper level, then many ppl are only meant to be good acquaintances to casual friends. We are usually meant to be each others' stepping stones.

[Alissa]

@Fede83 your welcome?.. I'm glad that you moved over it. Good luck?