The Health Benefits of Being Social?!

[7thLetter]

So I went to this last minute event in my area which taught people about how to meet strangers, social skills, the health benefits of being social, your value in society etc. It was a 2 hour event, the instructor talked for an hour or so on the topic, then we did some social experiments with other people in the room. At the end they offered people a free 45min 1on1 session for after the event, so I signed up why not. Before my scheduled free session, I had to fill out an assessment form, which basically lets the instructor know whether or not I'm willing to pay them money for their training that they sell for $300/hr. Later on the instructor called me to go over my answers, then eventually cancelled my free session because he knows I probably won't pay him for training.

Anyways, the whole point of this thread, is that it was a free event, and the people who run it have a business that sells you on how to become more social, meet more people, dating, etc. The thing that I find a bit ridiculous in my opinion is how they sell you on becoming more social. They tell you there's many health benefits to being social, and that those who isolate themselves and are lonely "have a 50% higher chance of dying in the next 7 years" according to ONE study??

I attached their e-book they sent me below, and some of the health benefits they claim are: live longer, heal faster, less pain, reduce risk of type 2 diabetes, less likely of stroke, beat cancer, etc.

And I don't mean to bash them, they're running a business cool, and I definitely had points in my life where I isolated myself heavily from family or any human, and I felt a bit down because of it. But are these "health benefits" really true? Or is it for those who are less spiritually developed? I mean they have a business so of course they're going to sell you on being social, which is why I'm a bit skeptical on these "health benefits."

Thoughts?

 

The Magic Pill the health benefits of talking to strangers.pdf

[Commodent]

Yes, it's no secret that we all have a biological need for belonging and that not having that need met leads to more or less hidden stress which has all sorts of damaging effects on the body. So the health benefits they proclaim does not seem unlikely at all.

Don't use spirituality as an excuse to not try and meet your needs.

Of course, to what extent you have this need for belonging is highly individual, but we all have it to some degree. So if you feel content with your relationships you probably shouldn't go out of your way to be more social.

Edit: Also, try to find a positive motivation to be more social. If you're always worrying about the health risks of not having your needs met then you're going to have a bad time. Focus on the joy that the connection with other people will bring you.

I'm not saying that coaching can't be useful, but $300/hr sounds a bit expensive. Owen Cook (RSD Tyler) and Julien Blanc have so many amazing videos on YT on how to improve your social skills, so I would suggest maybe trying those first.

Edited November 16, 2019 by Commodent

[mandyjw]

@7thLetter Check out the research on blue zones, it's very interesting! I think that many of us are trying to find connection and community in stage orange environments and that can take more effort and creativity than it did in the past. 

 https://www.bluezones.com/2016/11/power-9/

 

"7. Belong

All but five of the 263 centenarians we interviewed belonged to some faith-based community.  Denomination doesn’t seem to matter. Research shows that attending faith-based services four times per month will add 4-14 years of life expectancy.

8. Loved Ones First

Successful centenarians in the blue zones put their families first. This means keeping aging parents and grandparents nearby or in the home (It lowers disease and mortality rates of children in the home too.). They commit to a life partner (which can add up to 3 years of life expectancy) and invest in their children with time and love (They’ll be more likely to care for you when the time comes).

9. Right Tribe

The world’s longest lived people chose–or were born into–social circles that supported healthy behaviors, Okinawans created ”moais”–groups of five friends that committed to each other for life. Research from the Framingham Studies shows that smoking, obesity, happiness, and even loneliness are contagious. So the social networks of long-lived people have favorably shaped their health behaviors."

[ivory]

Relationships are the most important thing we can have in life. But it's important to be authentic. By that I mean you're not going to be friends with everybody. When people try to sell social skills it reeks of inauthenticity. Find the people who are like you and that share the same values. When you find your people no effort is required.

[Knock]

6 hours ago, ivory said:

When people try to sell social skills it reeks of inauthenticity. 

I'm intrigued by what you meant by the above? If they possess social skills, are educated in the area, and is selling this knowledge and expertise to willing buyers, I don't see any problem? A lot of people nowadays are not properly being taught these skills, it's a real big issue. I think this could be a very helpful business that could enrich many lives. 

@7thLetter In response to your questions about the health benefits, they may not all be 100% true, but inadvertently, socialization does play a major factor in your health. I see it as a fundamental pillar of strength, that supports other areas of health and provides a buffer for the inevitable tough times in life that everyone endures. 

I think we can all benefit by socialising more with those that enrich our lives. 

[Nickyy]

12 hours ago, 7thLetter said:

So I went to this last minute event in my area which taught people about how to meet strangers, social skills, the health benefits of being social, your value in society etc. It was a 2 hour event, the instructor talked for an hour or so on the topic, then we did some social experiments with other people in the room. At the end they offered people a free 45min 1on1 session for after the event, so I signed up why not. Before my scheduled free session, I had to fill out an assessment form, which basically lets the instructor know whether or not I'm willing to pay them money for their training that they sell for $300/hr. Later on the instructor called me to go over my answers, then eventually cancelled my free session because he knows I probably won't pay him for training.

Anyways, the whole point of this thread, is that it was a free event, and the people who run it have a business that sells you on how to become more social, meet more people, dating, etc. The thing that I find a bit ridiculous in my opinion is how they sell you on becoming more social. They tell you there's many health benefits to being social, and that those who isolate themselves and are lonely "have a 50% higher chance of dying in the next 7 years" according to ONE study??

I attached their e-book they sent me below, and some of the health benefits they claim are: live longer, heal faster, less pain, reduce risk of type 2 diabetes, less likely of stroke, beat cancer, etc.

And I don't mean to bash them, they're running a business cool, and I definitely had points in my life where I isolated myself heavily from family or any human, and I felt a bit down because of it. But are these "health benefits" really true? Or is it for those who are less spiritually developed? I mean they have a business so of course they're going to sell you on being social, which is why I'm a bit skeptical on these "health benefits."

Thoughts?

 

The Magic Pill the health benefits of talking to strangers.pdf

It's not really a scam, but in some ways it is. 

This is what coaching has become unfortunately. It's a growing industry and scentists are even bought and paid for to conduct studies on behalf of these companies. It's very much like the supplements industry, fitness industry, the fad diet industry, the pickup industry and the self help industry. And this accounts for one of the reasons there is so much conflicting information on social media. 

They are trying to appeal to orange and blue who are fixated on self improvement but haven't really found the real material they need. Everyone interested in personal development goes through this these days, they get coaching that they could easily find the information independently (if they just applied themselves) and have to pay extortionate prices just for very basic information .

You could see it as a necessary part of the process and learn from it. There is a problem if you are unable to see through it and get sucked into being a consumer for these industries. 

Edited November 16, 2019 by Nickyy

[Lento]

Of course don't trust any information when: 1- the product is merely information - 2- the representative tells you that they're not responsible for their information - 3- their survival is dependent on selling you that information. They must be biased for them to be able to advertise and benefit from you and others. They certainly can be honest, but I think they exaggerate a lot as well, probably unconsciously.

On the other hand, I think socializing is a core part of the puzzle of personal development, and practice in my opinion and experience is the best teacher.

[Byun Sean]

direct experience is king. If you have needs, meet them. If you feel happy alone, fine too.

[88888will88888]

Socializing is a very healthy activity (unless you're hanging around toxic people all the time; solitude is probably better than a toxic friend group). Socializing with interesting and healthy and intelligent people allows your mind to expand, builds your connection with the human world, grows your understanding of language and culture, gives you an opportunity to express your ideas and articulate your beliefs. I mean, the list goes on and on; socializing is a healthy activity. Ideally, balance social activities with solitude activities. I spend at a few hours everyday meditating and journaling by myself, and at least a few hours everyday hanging out with friends and family. Important to note though: You don't have to pay anyone to socialize. Just go out into the world and express yourself. Those that find you interesting will be attracted, and likely those who find you interesting will also be interesting to you

[ivory]

On 11/16/2019 at 1:00 PM, Knock said:

I'm intrigued by what you meant by the above?

Once embarking on the self-development journey you come to realize that most people are lame. Why develop social skills just to get validation from lame folks. For me, green and above are the only ones I like to spend time with and I find it very natural. So when I say find people who are like you, I mean exactly that. Real friendships are formed when you share a common set of values. No effort is required because there's already common ground. My advice to anyone on this forum would be that. Find people who reside in green territory, it may take a while but it's totally worth it. Start there and see if you still want to develop your skills.

[Thalie]

Hi. This is what works for me and hope that it can help. Instead of focusing on the social aspect, the need to belong, to fit in etc .... I focus on my Needs.

I have the need to Exercise .... so I join an exercise class, sport where I interact with people. 

I have the need to socialise by eating out once in a while ... so I have a few groups where the highlight is food and just giggling and talking about superficial things.

I have the need for spirituality and going deep .... so I come to this forum where the "I am God. You are God" would not come across as being weird.

That way, I strike MY balance. I socialise with people by sharing the same passions and need. 

 

 

 

[Thalie]

An observation : When you do things that you love with people who are also passionate about the same things .... somehow everyone Open up , talk more .... become more social in a way.