Fruit flies and pedophiles

[FuriousGeorge]

There are two things I hate the most in this world. Fruit flies and the person who abused my child. I don’t know how to quantify hatred but at one point or another I could have killed either with the same amount of remorse. The thing about this hatred is that there is lessons hidden within. The first lesson, fruit flies tell me when I need to get better at keeping my kitchen clean and the other one has thought me to trust my instincts and use them to protect the people that I love. The other lesson is about perspective and attempting to forgive.  Both of these organisms are trying to survive, fruit flies are feeding off the mess and the pedophile is trying to find love in any twisted way that they can manage. None of this means that we should accept them or allow them to be within the environment that we live. I’ll still crush fruit flies under my thumb and I would still kill anyone in order to protect those that I love

[outlandish]

Fuck dude I'm so sorry. 

[Nak Khid]

23 minutes ago, FuriousGeorge said:

There are two things I hate the most in this world. Fruit flies and the person who abused my child. I don’t know how to quantify hatred but at one point or another I could have killed either with the same amount of remorse. The thing about this hatred is that there is lessons hidden within. The first lesson, fruit flies tell me when I need to get better at keeping my kitchen clean and the other one has thought me to trust my instincts and use them to protect the people that I love. The other lesson is about perspective and attempting to forgive.  Both of these organisms are trying to survive, fruit flies are feeding off the mess and the pedophile is trying to find love in any twisted way that they can manage. None of this means that we should accept them or allow them to be within the environment that we live. I’ll still crush fruit flies under my thumb and I would still kill anyone in order to protect those that I love

Be careful of resorting to killing in order to protect,  It often backfires  

If the word was governed by fruit flies you would be in jail for life and not be able to see your kids

Nevertheless the way to get rid of fruit flies is to but some vinegar with a touch of syrup in it into a small clear container and then squeeze a drop of dish detergent on to the top of the liquid.  Normally the fruit fly can land and take off again on the liquid because of surface tension but the detergent breaks that tension and they will sink

For hatred, do two things,  act soberly and legally to improve the general issue and do other unrelated positive things for yourself and child and remember people aren't flies even if they act that way.  In some instances you may have to kill to protect.   That should be the absolute last resort not made into a pledge.

[FuriousGeorge]

@outlandish thank you, as cliche as it sounds I don’t think I would have built myself into the person I am if all that cam afterward didn’t happen. When I reported it, my son was removed and placed in foster care for 6 months. The fight to get him back was brutal as it involves a 3 way battle between my ex wife and CPS. It was my ex wife’s stepdad and he abused her as a preteen so essentially we knew he was a risk and didn’t protect our son. It was hell but I accept that I didn’t do what I needed to to keep him safe. My instinct told me to not allow my ex to have him alone with him and I ignored it in order to try and keep the custody battle civil. 

[FuriousGeorge]

@Nak Khid absolutely, I wish there was a simple vinegar trick to let pedophiles kill themselves ??‍♂️ I was able to control myself from doing anything stupid of course but it was difficult, knowing that my son needed me was the only thing that saved the situation 

[SoonHei]

@FuriousGeorge god bless you <3 

[outlandish]

 

14 minutes ago, FuriousGeorge said:

@Nak Khid absolutely, I wish there was a simple vinegar trick to let pedophiles kill themselves ??‍♂️ I was able to control myself from doing anything stupid of course but it was difficult, knowing that my son needed me was the only thing that saved the situation 

Yeah it would be so much worse for your son if you were in jail for killing his abuser. It's better you can be there to protect him, care for him, provide for him. I hope he can heal and grow past the trauma from this in your care.

[FuriousGeorge]

@SoonHei thanks ?

[FuriousGeorge]

@outlandish He is doing great ? I think the only trauma may be from foster care but he’s a really happy kid ??

[tenta]

9 hours ago, FuriousGeorge said:

@outlandish He is doing great ? I think the only trauma may be from foster care but he’s a really happy kid ??

 

Nice, he will get over it, but you need to know the consequences of taking big actions in the moment

[outlandish]

11 hours ago, FuriousGeorge said:

@outlandish He is doing great ? I think the only trauma may be from foster care but he’s a really happy kid ??

Thats awesome. Yeah I was imagining the foster care to be a tough situation. I feel like child services put kids in foster care way too readily. It should be an absolute last resort. 

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

Fruit flies aren't even that bad dude. Just buy some fruit fly traps at the grocery store for like 5 bucks, it will attract them into a liquid in a small container and drown them. Would you rather tiny little fruit flies trying to get some nutrition from your fruit or big ass hairy cockroaches crawling all over your food and kitchen pantry, perhaps even ones that fly?

[Scholar]

Your love is limited, and it will not increase by you thinking you are obligated to increase it. What you are facing is the fundamental challenge of corruption. Your inability to show true love towards the fruit flies will inevitably lead to an inability to express true love towards you own child.

Your mind currently is so twisted, however, that it will only want to know true love so it can show love to what it is attached to most. That desire is not a desire for true love, it is once more a desire for limited love, which your child and your self will suffer for.

 

Only when you come to love the fruit fly, when you will cease looking at it through your own desires, you will start being able to expand your love. When it will be you who is saving the fruit fly instead of terminating it. When you will realize that your desire to kill the fruit fly is no different from the desire of the pedophile to abuse a child. This is deeply personal, for the fruit fly as much as it is for you.

 

This truth will offend you, but the hatred you feel for the fruit fly and for the pedophile will become part of your child, as much as it is part of yourself. One day, if you have not learned to truly Love, it will be your child who will have to be the one who forgives, the one who expands their love. If you fail to do so however, it is likely that your child will too.

Notice that you not only get offended by this, but that the desire to change is completely egoic. You want to change for yourself and for your child, which is only more limited love. You truly need to find love for the fruit fly, not because you want to love your child, but simply because you love the fruit fly.

 

This is why True Love is so radical and rare. It cannot be forced, it cannot be sought after. It can simply manifest itself into being.

Edited November 15, 2019 by Scholar

[Leo Gura]

Ego, ego, ego. Survival, survival, survival. Duality, duality, duality.

Being outraged by and righteous about a thing is survival and delusion.

This work is about truth, not justifying attacks on parts of reality which threaten your survival.

Everything you attack is none other than your self. Just because you hate something a lot doesn't change this fundamental fact.

If you have been hurt in the past, that is understandable, but adding ego on top of the hurt creates a spiritual trap.

You cannot overcome evil through hatred or judgment. Never, never, ever. Until you realize this, you will be stuck.

The only solution to evil is Truth. And what you wrote above is not Truth.

[Forestluv]

In defense of fruit flies. . . I do laboratory research with fruit flies and would like to mention that fruit flies have contributed greatly to our understanding of human health and medicine. Fruit fly research as been awarded multiple Nobel Prizes in medicine. . . For example, fruit flies revealed all the Hox genes involved in development (including human development).

In regards to child abuse. . . It is a cycle of pain and suffering. Many children that were abused become damaged and then abuse children as adults. It's easy to restrict our empathy to the abused child. Yet it is often an inter-connected web of suffering. . . A good movie that captures this dynamic called "Little Children". There is a web of about six characters, each of which is both abused and abuser. The tendency for humans is to categorize as good and evil, yet this movie breaks that tendency. It's really profound, yet also really difficult to watch - at least it was for me. I was shaken up for weeks and it still comes up years later.

The movie "Crash" also has a similar theme, yet is much less intense. In "Crash" there is also a network of about six characters and the themes are more about racism and sexism. Again, each character is complex and is both good and evil depending on context. There was a police officer that used his power to abuse a woman in a vulnerable position. I got so upset with him. He was the bad guy. Yet later, in a different context, he used his power and risked his life to save the life of the same woman he had abused. She was trapped under a burning car and she refused the help of the hated police officer. Yet he wouldn't be able to live within himself if he left her there and he refused to leave. They would both die together or they would both survive together. They both realized this and there was a beautiful moment of shared humanity. . . Each character was like this. I couldn't hate or love them.

In Leo's first video on love, he spoke about expanding our capacity to love. These two movies helped me with this expansion. They helped reveal how my love was contracted and conditional based on my own personal filters. 

[remember]

@FuriousGeorge sometimes the traumata of a loved one becomes our traumata. it´s both important that your son has someone maybe a therapist who might guide him through some difficult times especially when he starts to grow from a child to a man, probably - because the memory will come back probably then. but it`s also important that you go through these emotions of your own traumatisation of being helples, of guilting yourself maybe, that you were not more cautious. also be careful that you don`t deny it  because you wish everything is alright,  because it might be hidden at the moment, although it`s also difficult to not be suspicious about every sign that is showing. it`s very sensible and you have to realize that this is like an autoimmune disease of your son, he has that now, it won`t go away, but it might be possible to hold it in check. be prepared that it will surface from time to time and that he might need help to coap with it - like with all memories, they surface from time to time. maybe you could even do father son therapy - don`t know... family therapy is probably difficult, as you are not together with your ex.

Edited November 15, 2019 by remember

[FuriousGeorge]

Thank you to everyone who’s commented, I’d like to reply to each thing but it’s a bit overwhelming at the moment. For me this lesson of there being a lesson hidden within the hate has been a big step forward in forgiving but I realize I still have a long way to go. This whole process has definitely been my biggest test and my dark night of the soul. I still have a lot of letting go to do. My ego was definitely triggered as it wanted to tell @Leo Gura to go fuck yourself at first ? I’m curious how you would reframe an issue like this Leo, if you were/are me, and your 4 year old told you something so heinous? 

[Leo Gura]

36 minutes ago, FuriousGeorge said:

I’m curious how you would reframe an issue like this Leo, if you were/are me, and your 4 year old told you something so heinous?

Love and forgiveness is the solution in such a case.

What such a "test" is testing you for, is the breadth and depth of your love.

If you fail the "test", that's okay too. You'll just suffer more.

The cure to all forms of abuse is deeper self-love, both for the parent, the child, and the abuser.

It's very counter-intuitive because when your survival is deeply threatened the last thing you want to do is love. It takes great wisdom, bravery, heart, and consciousness to be able to love in such situations. And therein lies the "test". Such situations reveal your true level of development. Highly developed beings are capable of embracing it with love. But of course this is rare among humans. We are a crude species.

Deeper self-love is the cure to all trauma and injustice.

[Scholar]

You could watch the new Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy, it has some of these themes as a main focus.

[CreamCat]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Deeper self-love

Can you define self-love? Is it non-dual God self or a human self?

Edited November 17, 2019 by CreamCat