Letting go of me

[Surfingthewave]

Delaying Gratification 

Why do we avoid the things we really need? According to Scott Peck in The Road Less Travelled it's a lot to do with the kind of parenting we received and how we we may have been given or not given the things we wanted. More importantly it's about delaying gratification. Why does our society suck at this? 

My mastery hit a few roadblocks in so much that I procrastinate doing the work. But I showed my work to some family members and they loved it, asked me to commission a picture.

I am working with my  ability to delay gratification. The best way to do this is do the most difficult thing first. The other good way to do this is enjoy the process of mastery, not the end result. The process is the bit where I can experience Flow, a state of Oneness - who cares about the end product. 

Continuing daily meditation and Yoga Nidra. Vivid dreams, lots of thoughts lots of imaginary scenarios, fear, anxiety. Understanding that Love fundamentally does conquer all. It's not out there, it's inside. 

The road to Freedom is you, you are the road. External constructs are just leaves falling in the way, sweep them to one side and carry on. 

 

[Surfingthewave]

What is Pain?

Pain can take many forms. Sensation, thought, memories, perceptions, feelings. Anger, fear, sorrow, but also pain can be a comfort. 

Ultimately pain is resistance to What Is. 

We go through life analysing pain, theorising pain, avoiding pain, getting addicted to pain. 

What is the payoff? Not being the What Is. Ultimately pain is a rejection of Love. Allow the Love in. The Joy that comes from this. 

This week I am Light. I no longer put any demands on the What Is. Light cuts through the dark. Light gives us vision, weightlessness. The more I drop the more Light I am. 

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

Every moment has potential 

Sounds like a line from a cheesy Tony Robbins power seminar. But this stuff really works. Been feeling good recently. I've been setting boundaries with myself and important people in my life. The daily meditations and regular yoga have allowed a lightness to be present. 

If you truly realise the potential of every moment you have a different perspective of those bad habits and stories you make up. You see them for what they are: stories. You begin to really listen and connect with others without judgement.  You begin to listen to your deep inner voice, that feeling that is your inner guidance system. The one that has the answers. You begin to receive what you have been asking. 

You begin to see the beauty everywhere, this beauty we take for granted every day. When you let go of "good" and "bad" experience - as this is the mind filtering experience - you enjoy the what is. You merge with it more and begin to get what all those spiritual gurus have been going on about all this time. 

Michael Singer talks about waking up and feeling good every day. Surrendering to what is, is his mantra because actually, there's nothing else. 

I've begun to let go of those stories and scripts of who I thought I was. I am light that shines bright. 

Favourite quote this week:

Laugh at what games the mind plays, the tricks of the mind. See the mind sticking to stories and experiences like barnacles on a boat (Deepak Chopra's Methuman). 

Getting close to nature has really helped me with this. Star gazing, walking and being in the wild. Doing more stuff that brings joy. We are only here for a brief moment. See the potential of the moment and all will be well. 

Tips i've taken to wellness:

Daily meditation / yoga / consciousness work

Jounalling

Eating healthy, drinking more water and exercising regularly 

Regular rest / contemplation  (important for nervous system) 

Daily creative expression and consumption: music, art, books etc

Nature connection:  wild swimming, walking, retreats etc

Commitment to self development: books, seminars etc

Having fun: enjoying the journey and connecting with others 

To sum up:  Consciousness, Contact, Chi, Contemplation, Creativity, Connection, Commitment, Calling

Edited July 20, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

You are not your thoughts 

Some thoughts are overwhelming. Some can be obsessive like a strange loop and come back time and time again. Some thoughts make us feel a certain way, a feeling we crave. Thoughts can become stories. Stories that stick and become part of identity. 

Thoughts are not what we are. They are like sensations but localised,  as our perception says, in the mind. Although this is not the case. From where do thoughts arise? To where do thoughts go?

Surrender to this place. Become conscious of this place. This place is awareness, it is consciousness. 

What is only real is this moment. Thoughts can stop is from really enjoying and experiencing this moment. 

Let go of judgement of your thoughts. Practice having no attitude to your mind, as Deepak Chopra talks about.

What you really and truly are is something way more magical and mystical. Don't let thoughts get in the way of experiencing this. 

[Raphael]

Your journal is beautiful.

[Surfingthewave]

@Raphael Thank you. 

[Surfingthewave]

Why do we get blown off course? 

There are a million reasons but a good one is self protection. Just like the thermostat in your house, homeostasis will pull you right back when you start to make progress. 

When it comes to life purpose see this as part of the path. You can quit anything but what can you actually stick to? What kind of life do you want to reflect on when you're on your death bed? 

These are key parts of the path. The biggest threshold guardian is yourself. Are you ready to really push yourself and go the extra distance. But what if this was all an illusion created in the mind? The mind creates all sorts of rubbish to stop you from doing what you need to do to protect you from doing it. See the games the mind places and carry on regardless. But if you need time out, take it. Just don't quit cos things are about to get exciting. 

When you feel like quitting it's generally because you're about to make massive progress. Keep going. 

[Surfingthewave]

Experiencing God

So I had a tough week. Family and relationships can bum you out at times but something different happened this time. This time I didn't get roped in. This time I could see clearly what was being played out.

I called it out. And interestingly it comes down to projection. People, particularly people close, can project onto you, especially if you're at a certain level of awareness/consciousness /self actualisation. Perhaps to avoid their own issues. But a sibling relationship which - in my early years caused a lot of pain but also brought a lot of love - I could feel the level of distress radiating from a detached perspective.

This detached perspective is awareness. 

What I then experienced in my Yoga&meditation session today is God. More than just a feeling, an experience of consciousness, a love,a being, a glow, a grounding, but most importantly a Knowing. A Knowing I am always supported. A letting go of needs, of positive and negative. A realisation of the mystery of what this means.

This brought me to tears because I realised then everything I want I already have. It is already on its way. A profound shift has occurred. I no longer need to seek so much as it is already here. 

 

 

Edited August 5, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

Paradise Lost

Rupert Spira talks about movement and rest, the movement towards awareness and the resting in awareness. The movement towards awareness can be the shift towards seeing the light of being. 

Michael Singer talks about how we over complicate spirituality, that really it's just being aware of thoughts. Perhaps we over complicate life? 

Seeing the light of being is essentially seeing paradise in the moment - the sun setting, a beautiful tree, a tasty meal, laughter with a friend. Not seeing the light of being is seeing suffering, experiencing resistance and being caught in thoughts. 

Paradise Lost is where we get caught in between, when we seek too much or when we miss what's in front of us. What are you missing? 

[Surfingthewave]

Paradise Lost Part 2 - Call off the Search 

It's time to stop seeking. Seriously, call off the search. The seeking has become a distraction. Keep learning by all means, practicing and growing. But seeking has a heavy meaning. 

I had an insight today, its just another thought. There will always be thought, although now and again I can experience blissful minutes, sometimes hours of no thought. One special day, early on in my journey I had no thought for an entire day. Pure consciousness. Consciousness carried me through. 

When we experience no thought, we allow. We allow the opening of consciousness / vibration / awareness of no self. What is this? This is a slice of Infinity. Enjoy it. When thought appears, smile and observe thought disappear, or sometimes, not. 

So call off the search, keep practicing but enjoy things as they are. Let consciousness carry you through. 

[Surfingthewave]

Matter over Mind

Rupert Spira talks to Curt Jaimungal (Theories of Everything). Curt can't quite see it, he's battling with entrenched materialism. 

Rupert makes the point that when the engine on a large ocean liner is turned off, it doesn't just stop. It keeps going. When we become aware of our True Nature (that we are Infinite Consciousness) it can take time for our bodies and minds to catch up. It can take days, weeks, months, years, or sometimes a lifetime. 

Rather than seeking or letting go it's about sifting through the layers of thoughts, feelings, sensations etc to, get to that vibration, that sense of awareness . There are no boundaries to awareness. Try and sense the boundaries. There are none. 

You don't need to go anywhere. It's right here. What's stopping you from seeing and experiencing? It's because it is formless, disguised by form. 

You're looking for something that is invisible but is made up of everything. You're looking for something that you are. Next time you say "I am" - stop. What are you? The I am will tell you. Instead of Mind over Matter, realise that Matter is taking over the mind. Let go of Matter, Let go of Mind. 

When you feel the Joy that rests in empty silence, you have it. Rest in Infinite Consciousness. That's all. 

[Surfingthewave]

The Illusion is Real

Wow I've really been drowning in the illusion this week. Mostly family dynamics and historical stuff but at what point does the illusion become real? When you believe the illusion. 

The mind creates stuff just to exist. Just when you think you're progressing - nostalgia can hit you like a ton of bricks and you're right  back again swimming in the lllusion, like Alice in Wonderland when she swims in her own tears. 

There is no struggle remember, just thoughts, feelings, sensations doing their thing. Letting go of personal preferences is the bit that can suck, but becoming conscious of all this stuff makes the ride a whole lot easier. 

How do you become conscious when you're too busy trying to stay afloat? Float downstream not upstream. 

[Surfingthewave]

The Power of Yet 

Dr Carol Dweck talks about the Power of Yet in her TED talk. She talks about the importance of rewarding others (and yourself) for experiencing difficulty and turbulence on your journey. Rather than rewarding only the end result, rewards must come along the way. 

Rather than failing, it's thinking I haven't achieved it...... Yet. 

The Power of Now is strong but the Power of Yet is as strong. It gives us hope. 

This has been an excellent paradigm shift for my Life Purpose. As an artist, the struggle is real everyday. Reward yourself just for being on the path and overcoming difficulty. The mind dreams up many reasons why not being on the path to mastery is better, and why procrastinating and laziness is far more fun. The Power of Yet cuts through this. 

It may take 10 years or more, but the journey itself is sure gonna be fun. Those years will pass anyway so if I can be a successful artist along the way then hell yeah, I take on the challenge. Rather than chasing and chasing I will enjoy the path of mastery, as I know that what's yet to come will Enlighten me further. 

[Surfingthewave]

So how DO you let go? 

According to Michael Singer you allow the feeling, thought or sensation to arise within. You move towards it, not away from it. You relax and you release. All of these parts of the process of letting go are different but serve a purpose. 

If you struggle to release the feeling thought or sensation, why is that? Is there something you need to work on.  Being aware of the resistance to the feeling, thought or sensation is enough.

Purification happens when you allow the form to rise up, expand and contract within you, you can also do this formally through meditation or Yoga.

Quite often just becoming aware of the following - is it a thought, feeling or sensation - can help this process. Is it Visual, Verbal/talk Auditory, Physical. Localised or generalised in the body.

From where did it arise and to where will it go. 

 

[Surfingthewave]

Allowing is an Art

Something I have desired for 13 years is manifesting. It's a deep desire and I have pushed it down for so long. 

Something else I have desired for even longer seemed to get stuck, I couldn't seem to allow it. It's linked to my life purpose so a pretty big desire of mine. What I realised is I - was the obstacle. I got in my own way as a way of self protection. Now I realise the only limitation is what I put on, I can let this go. I  know I am limitless. 

Allowing is an Art - like Abraham Hicks talks about. To allow you have to believe in your creation and the ability to tap into consciousness. 

What are you not allowing into your life? 

Edited September 13, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

Living as limitless 

When we glimpse Infinity we truly see what we have been searching for. The thing we are searching for literally does not exist. What does exist blows the mind. How do we live as limitless? 

I went for a walk yesterday and was astounded by what I saw. What we miss because we are too stuck in our heads. On this path we can get obsessed with trying to change. Being a human being and being able to experience what surrounds us, that's the bit we get stuck on. 

When we live from a place of true consciousness or limitless-ness we are allowing things to be as they are. But we get in our own way. We want to rush our dreams, goals and healing rather than relaxing and smelling the roses around us. 

It's not until we loose something do we realise how important it was. If you lost your hands you would be bereft. How would you be a keyboard warrior if you had no hands?

Realise the unimaginable beauty of what we are and why we're here. Stop getting stuck in Mind. The Mind is a beautiful thing but there is something more amazing than mind. Being conscious of having a Mind. 

 

[Surfingthewave]

The road to non seeking - patience

Being patient you arrive at yourself. You let go of seeking and trust that things have their time. Time to come to fruition. Time to ripen, time to arrive. 

When we rush or push for things to arrive we can be seeking too hard, too much, and this can cloud consciousness. 

Deep emotional and physical pain this week. Loss, grief, exhaustion. Moving into the eye of the storm, there is peace and silence. Acceptance and patience is guiding me. Sadness manifesting as anger mixed with fatigue and tiredness. Going back to source, I breathe and move into sadness. I remember my tools. Strength is in allowing. Strength is in patience. Strength is in talking. 

When we move through difficult things in our lives, we are making progress, we are growing. To love is to loose, but to not love at all, that is to loose ourselves. 

 

[Surfingthewave]

Turning fear into joy

So this is the biggie, right? How do we turn water into wine, lead into gold. 

Realising fear is the same as joy. It's a feeling, a thought, a sense. We just conceptualise it differently based on our life situation and context. What you truly fear, is ultimately what you are. To live as the moment. We fear this because it dissolves meaning. And yet there is so much meaning in the moment (the ultimate paradox). 

We are desperate to gain meaning in our lives. We get stuck on the path searching and seeking. 

Turn back into yourself and face yourself. What are you afraid of? What is your heart telling you to do. 

Follow your Heart. Follow your Bliss 

Turn Fear into Joy. 

Edited October 1, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

The boundaries of Infinity 

Well there are none, right? When this is discovered - as well as the knowing you have a lot less control over things than you think - you are on the way to the big G (or consciousness). 

These past few weeks sadness has been arising in my awareness. I'm beginning to meet and welcome this emotion with gratitude not resistance. Sadness has come up in many forms but mainly it can stop motivation, can cause anxiety, anger, fear. 

Yoga Nidra this week - my San Kalpa is I am Well. Meditations this week - rest in awareness. Sensations and stories together become "fear"  or "worry". 

The pandemic has impacted me deeply in so many ways. Loss of my previous working life, loss of control, loss of health, loss of life, loss of freedoms and extended stress. Paradoxically it had brought gifts in the form of connection, love, family, support, gratitude and most of all a sense of Infinity. As I begin to get my life back, I realise the stuff that is the breath of life. 

My dreams have been full of intense and fearful experiences, letting go and processing what has just happened in the past 18 months. There is no guide for what to do in this situation, but self care is number 1. 

Self actualisation is not a thing to be achieved. It's a recognition of who you truly are. It's actualising what you are part of and letting go along the way. 

Edited October 14, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

Our Infinite abilities

We have the ability to feel an infinite number of sensations

We have the ability to see, hear and taste an infinite number of things in Nature 

We have the ability to think an infinite number of thoughts 

We have the ability to travel to wherever we want to go, including to space 

We have the ability to heal, to love, to forgive and to create 

We have the ability to remember and to forget 

As Mooji says "Marinate" in this