Letting go of me

[Surfingthewave]

@Raptorsin7 Yes I do get a sensation of my third eye opening, for time I thought it was pressure either side of my forehead but I had a Reiki healing massage and the practitioner said my third eye was quite open. 

When you say your difficulty is being whatever in the moment, what does that feel like? Perhaps do a Noting meditation to really take you away from thought and resistance. Other technique is Do Nothing so allow thoughts and resistance to come up. 

Walking in nature helps me connect with being as does contemplating and just sitting in silence. I also find live music connects me with being (depends on how good it is!) in a deep way. 

[Surfingthewave]

You are the sparkle on the waves

The glimmer of rays

The whisper in the breeze 

The freshness and ease

We may mourn and weep 

But secretly we keep

As we wait, to awake

You're here, you're there

Everywhere, too far and near

A laugh, a tear

You're where we'll be

The sparkle, the freshness, I smile as I see

The light, the peace

I rest

Within 

Edited November 28, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Raptorsin7]

@Surfingthewave I think i'm expecting a certain level of bliss and happiness from my meditation. So when i sit and down and meditate, I can recognize that i'm not there so i guess that disturbs me. There is also just a physical sensation or feeling that my mind uses as evidence of my non-enlightenment/ non-happening.

[Surfingthewave]

I've seen a reduction in the following soft addictions :

TV watching, engaging in gossip, reading horoscopes, social media browsing, bad diet choices, ruminating

Reduction in the following hard addictions:

Alcohol, overworking, overspending, over eating 

Meditation sessions this week : letting go, awareness of the infinite 

Walking in nature, reading books, life purpose work, focus at work, music 

Resources : Abraham Hicks, Tony Robbins 

Sleep : better, still some disruption and general health seems to have improved. 

Insight this week: Receiving. I am supported, aided and guided by the infinite. I look forward to what this will bring. 

Edited November 30, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

@Raptorsin7 Let go of any expectation. That is where you are meeting difficulty. Can you see that you are already setting yourself up to fail? Meditation is about awareness, oneness and letting go. Just be aware of any thoughts feelings that arise. and let go.

[Surfingthewave]

So this week it begins. The receiving. Receiving of love, support, forgiveness, truth, gifts, dreams, wishes, but most of all the now. Although I am letting go, the more I let go the more I am receiving. It is counterintuitive, but that is this work. 

Fast and slow, smooth and rough, edges that curve, hurt that forgives, receiving the nothing, the most wonderful gift of all. 

The weekend brought me a surge of creativity, I was able to put this into my life purpose. When you get rid of old baggage you bring in new energy, creative freedom, innovation and focus. 

This morning when I woke, weirdly I felt reborn. Although I hadn't really slept, I realise it was anticipation for the day ahead, for what I was to receive and experience. But also for what I will be shedding, my limitations, my resistance and my old self. It was like I had a near death experience and been given another chance to live. 

The morning light glimmered, the air was fresh and everything had a certain dew effect. On my packed commute I smiled. Today I have been laughing more, listening to my favourite music and enjoying the taste of tea. Thank you.

Edited December 3, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

First real test today. Got extremely annoyed today at work, due to a work thing. I was aware of myself ruminating on my feelings of anger and frustration. I went for a swim later on and also used the letting go technique and some of the strategies Abraham Hicks talks about, seeing the potential for the moment for example. 

It's true what they say, yesterday's enlightenment becomes todays frustration. This is why it is important to engage in daily practices. 

I still have that feeling of anticipation and excitement. What used to be anxiety is something else. I'm laughing more, enjoying myself more and giving myself more self love. I'm noticing small details more, like the beauty of a piece of clothing, the light of the sky and the amazement of things. 

I'm noticing how hard it is to let go of the feelings that arise from certain relationships, and the roles I play (work roles for example). Watch this space. 

 

Edited December 4, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Raptorsin7]

Surfs up... I still can't get over how you started your journal with that line LOL. It's so awesome.

[Surfingthewave]

@Raptorsin7 Thank you! Am still on the wave, let's see where it leads..... 

[Surfingthewave]

Insights this week:

Contemplation: I'm aware that sometimes I contemplate during my meditation practice. Quite often solutions or insights come up when I'm in formal meditation practice. 

Source: I was being challenged at work about something, it was a difficult conversation. Before I would have floundered and flustered but this time I returned to source during this exchange, became very aware of myself and the conversation went well. This hasn't happened previously so I'm pleased about the results as it shows I'm taking my practice off the cushion into day to day life. This is the ultimate in letting go for me. 

Wellbeing: I've focused a lot this week on things that make me feel better for example listening to live music, socialising, reading, walking, exercise, time alone, relaxing etc. I've listened to more Abraham Hicks. Feeling better you really are in a position to receive more. It really is working, the creativity and creative energy I am feeling is amazing. I'm ready to continue to receive this abundance in creativity. 

Ruminating : I tend to wake up with a lot of stuff in my head. Thoughts, dreams, problems, goals etc - visual, sounds and feelings. Mornings are a good time to meditate for me. I'm aware that ruminating and distraction are key areas to continue to work on. I was shocked at how much distraction I do. Perhaps one influences the other. 

Edited December 8, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

Big insight in the middle of the night. Maybe that's why I've been having bouts of insomnia recently because things are massively shifting and I'm trying to consolidate. My ego is trying to adjust (or floundering while trying to retake control!). 

For many many years I have put other people first, as in I've felt that helping others in need (my current job) is the key to to meaning and fulfillment. Well it ain't just that I'm afraid. It's lead me to many many geat things in my life but it's not my life purpose. I'm on track with my life purpose now but I've been struggling with commitment and discipline to this. I think this is because I've programmed myself when in doubt help others. This also relates to experiences in my childhood. 

But also maybe because I'm lacking in clarity with my LP? 

Need more space and time for contemplating. Part of myself feels like I'm obsessing about myself. Sometimes when I watch Leo's vids for example I think wow, he really thinks about himself a lot, does he not just miss having a few beers with his pals? Maybe that's what OSHO was doing with all those Rolls Royces. 

Sometimes with this work you gotta stop for a bit and go and have some fun! 

[Surfingthewave]

Insights this week:

Insomnia still prevails, however insights are still appearing late at night. 

The politics of my country leaves me to dispair but I realise there is something bigger at work, beyond the corruption of our political system, beyond the huge multimedia machine driving and influencing voters and I have faith in that. 

Energy is key to my motivation. When I'm lacking in energy my soft and hard addictions can consume me. Focusing my energy through exercise, yoga, meditation practice and visualisations will impact my life purpose work and levels of fulfillment. 

Letting go work has improved my ability to not let things get to me. I almost have an invisible barrier protecting me, or perhaps it's the other way round and reality/actuality is protecting me. 

 

[Surfingthewave]

@Surfingthewave

Further insights /additions

- The letting go work I am doing is really enlightenment work. 

- I often give others advice when I need to give myself the same advice. I can be very hard on myself, as I see in others on this forum. 

- Wonderland really is in every moment. When you fall down the rabbit hole, the world you see becomes curiouser and curiouser. Quotes from Alice in Wonderland.... Lewis Carroll was a master writer. 

"Who in the world am I?  Ahh that's the great puzzle." 

"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." 

"It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then....." 

Edited December 14, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

Insights this week:

Massive ego back lash experienced. Massive. Huge. Insomnia back on. Thoughts back on. But this was after an amazing self inquiry and yoga session where I connected to source effortlessly, watched my mind, my thoughts go by. The awareness of awareness became a recognised feeling. Quite blissful even.

Today however its a different story. But that's exactly it, it's a story. Trigger points could have been work but also family dynamics as this is the link to previous trauma. 

I'm using all the resources I have to let this go, watch this space. That's exactly it, it's space of consciousness, the sky, the screen, nothing more.

I'm longing more and more for freedom, freedom in my work, freedom in my day to day. I've added this to the dream board. 

 

[Surfingthewave]

There is no happiness and sadness. 

There is just is-ness (to quote Mooji). 

Happiness and sadness is filtered through the lens of perception, sensations, feelings and thoughts. The lens of the mind. 

Actuality just is. 

When I shop for Christmas presents I'm in a good mood, I see the raw poverty on our streets, I'm sad. 

When I'm sad due to an event at work I'm happy because I have a job. 

Whatever you feel, flip it. Is -ness is here to stay. Feelings are temporary states, actuality isn't. Actuality is here to stay and is the greatest gift there is. 

The biggest mistake we make is to think "something" can make us happy. This doesn't exist. Saying yes to the moment is happiness. Is fulfillment. 

Leave your mind at the door and see what happens. When you experience "no-mind" you are in the direct path of is-ness, of source. That is true happiness. But dear readers, letting go of the mind is the biggest challenge there is. Or is it? 

Edited December 20, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Surfingthewave]

What is power? 

The power of Now

The power of Positive Thinking 

Personal power 

Powerful quotes

Powerful leaders 

Power is a term used a lot in personal development. 

Power moves us in ways our experience shifts, and is never the same again. 

Power can be great but also can be toxic. 

What if we were to let go of all assumptions of power. 

There is power in humbleness, consistency, perseverance, patience.

There is power in actuality. In experience, in what's around us. 

What is powerful to you? 

[Surfingthewave]

So the festive season will always play havoc with my meditation practice and enlightenment work. However I let this go and just enjoyed the hedonism and chaos. No resistance, no fight. I saw it as a bit of a break from the routine. Also old habits return, over eating, drinking and spending, but this will be only for a short time. 

Lots of anger / strong feelings however raised at work, mainly due to not feeling freedom. Will reflect on this later. 

Sleep routine still up and down. My thoughts go wild at night but I know why. Did a yoga Nidra one night which helped, my intention was "self expression". 

Something amazing happened visiting the family. I wasn't triggered at all! Couldn't believe it. Massive progress. I've been doing this work for several years now and going back to my family has always pulled me back into old thought stories and deep emotions throwing me off the path. This time it was magical. I was able to observe what was going on with a smile. 

It's also about being kind to yourself and giving yourself a break in hard times. I realise how lucky I am in some ways. My cousin has been given 5-7 yrs to live due to a cancer diagnosis. This has put a rocket on my work....... 

 

Edited December 26, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Raptorsin7]

Do you practice shadow work or inner work? 

Also, did you do Leo's life purpose course?

[Surfingthewave]

@Raptorsin7 I have practiced shadow work, yes. My meditation practice brought up deep trauma / emotional abuse I suffered in my childhood which was something I needed to work through.

It sounds like you may be going through something similar? I was very resistant to facing this. Instead I was angry, suffered with low self esteem, chasing the wrong things such as success etc and couldn't assert myself. 

I had tried counselling but tended to walk out as soon as I was beginning to get to the heart of the trauma. This is why meditation really helped me. Journalling was also really key. 

No I haven't done Leo's LP course. I have a good idea of my life purpose is already. 

Edited December 26, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Raptorsin7]

@Surfingthewave Yea i read an article about spiritual escapism, and it really hit home. I think healing my inner trauma and reconnecting with my self is the key to my growth from here on out.

A few years i got depressed, and after a year i finally got sick of it and completely transformed my life. I had never felt better. I always wondered what i did what worked such magic. I think i practiced some form of ad hoc inner work that compounded back then and that's what the "trick" was of my transformation.

https://lonerwolf.com/spiritual-escapism/

This is the website I found. 

What kind of inner work are you practicing now?