How to have Sociopathic levels of detachment with girls and dating

[Ananta]

On 11/14/2019 at 1:32 AM, Gili Trawangan said:

Fake it 'til you make it.

Damn, I was going to post this! 

But, seriously, OP stop giving in to your every wim or you won't get far. Fake it until you make it! This means act "as if" you aren't needy and clinging. Don't give in to these insecurities and get a hobby to occupy your time, so a GF isn't your "everything" or she will run away from you. 

[Leo Gura]

Of course awakening helps with detachment in profound ways.

But if you can't teach yourself to attract girls I would not trust you to be able to awaken yourself. That's much harder.

Start with managing the easier stuff.

[Gili Trawangan]

1 hour ago, Mikael89 said:

How come I would love having a gf to whom I'm her everything? I would prefer having a needy and clinging gf. Why am I so different compared to girls?

I don't understand how anyone can dislike a needy and clingy partner.

Oh boy, you have much to learn about girls and what they find attractive... read about it, it has been thoroughly explained many times.

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

How come I would love having a gf to whom I'm her everything? I would prefer having a needy and clinging gf. Why am I so different compared to girls?

I don't understand how anyone can dislike a needy and clingy partner.

You feel that way because you are so needy.

When you get a really clingy girlfriend you will see that it repulses you. You will start to feel disgusted by her and even have desire to abuse and exploit her. She will start to feel almost sub-human to you.

Obviously this can get very toxic and dangerous.

[RawJudah]

@Leo Gura this is why it’s so important to know where you are in life. I was getting way too ahead of myself learning about all the spiritual stuff you teach, but if I’m honest I can’t even talk to hot girls. I’m pretty good looking and I’ve got plenty of friends, but I can’t talk to a hot girl without being socially awkward.

What a mindfuck!

[Leo Gura]

@RawJudah Like I say, the things I teach are way too advanced for most humans. This is not a flex. This is really advanced stuff that most humans cannot fathom or handle. You've sorta got yourself in the deep end here.

It's important to keep in mind that most humans beings have the consciousness level not much higher than animals. So this stuff is not suitable for most people.

[RawJudah]

@Leo Gura your recent video ‘The Dangers Of Spiritual Work’ really hit the nail on the coffin for me. Watching that was a huge wake up call. Going too far ahead while not getting the basics right is a recipe for disaster.

[Preety_India]

 

A relationship is not a psychological thriller 

 

 

[tenta]

Correlation isn't causation, this doesn't have to mean the reason you're not succeeding is that you're being overly needy even tho it could be a part of it

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Mikael89

it's 100% true

for some time you will be amazed by how beatiful she is and how much she loves you

after that you will start to see that she needs you more than you need her and it will start to annoy you

you will start to fuck her like crazy to compensate yourself higher values that way

and then you will start to hate her and not even want to look at her anymore

trust me, i've been there, there are levels of destroying ego and awakening to a true value of a girl you are dating

Edited November 16, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Mikael89 

yeah, my bad, but i can say just from my experience

maybe all you need in life is a needy desparate housewife, dunno

Edited November 16, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Nickyy]

37 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

I already know what girls find attractive.

I don't believe that.

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@RawJudah

@Mikael89 You might benefit from looking up reticular activating system or self fulfilling prophecy. Understanding both of these concepts have made my life a lot more enjoyable ?

(Sorry about the tag leo, quoted you by accident and couldn't erase it)

Edited November 16, 2019 by Nickyy

[Preety_India]

25 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

I already know what girls find attractive.

I don't believe that.

 

Neediness should be there, like wanting or possessiveness. That's what makes the relationship passionate. Or it gets mundane 

But too much neediness is a psychological disorder in both men and women

Often times the reason a partner is acting needy is not because they don't have boundaries or immaturity but because the other partner has kept them deprived for long. That's called negligence. 

I agree with you. It's not wrong to want a needy girlfriend or a needy boyfriend. 

People should not have to dictate whether your choices are bad or good as long as they are within the confines of morality. And you don't have to change a thing. 

What you like and or dislike is what makes you uniquely different than others. 

If everyone had the same attitude and style towards a relationship then we would all look like factory potato chips, all cut out in the same shape and all same flavor. 

It's completely okay to have a certain neediness,  a certain passion, a certain ferociousness in a relationship, it's a part of connecting to your animal side

The only difference is everything should be in moderation. It shouldn't cross limits and become pathological. That's where you have to pay attention. 

As long as you are 100 percent committed to making a relationship work, every flaw you have , you can conquer it and work on it for the better health of your partner and they can do the same. So there is nothing to worry. 

When you have true love and willpower to make a relationship work, you both will dedicate yourselves to seek and cultivate the best in each other. 

[Nickyy]

8 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Mikael89 

yeah, my bad, but i can say just from my experience

maybe all you need in life is a needy desparate housewife, dunno

Desperate people are unbearable, but the experience can be a good lesson as you get to see and sense directly how the ego creates a living nightmare for itself and others. 

[Beginner Mind]

One of my best friends (who is very handsome) got dumped for an ugly guy.  The reason?  My friend was needy and the ugly guy was not.  Neediness is the death of attraction.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Beginner Mind

it's energy that women are attracted to, not the looks

it's all about how they "feel" about the man, personality and shit are just byproducts of our vibration

Edited November 16, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Beginner Mind]

@28 cm unbuffed Indeed.  Looks obviously play a role, but they aren't the most important thing.

[Preety_India]

Looks play a big role. A lot of people ignore that. 

A guys looks can say a lot. 

It's not just handsome. A guy can be handsome yet boring. 

But another guy can be handsome but have that romantic glint in his eyes. 

The face can convey a lot of things plus it's the seat of facial expressions,the seat of emotions, the eyes peep into the heart. 

I remember when I used to have arguments with my guy, but his eyes used to make me forget them. 

Looks are important in both men and women. 

But obviously character decides the overall and final outcome of a relationship.

 

 

[Beginner Mind]

@Preety_India Looks will help you get your foot in the door, but if you start displaying neediness or any other unattractive behavior, your good looks won't mean shit.  She may sleep with the guy a few times, but she will never consider him as a serious long-term partner.

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Beginner Mind said:

@Preety_India Looks will help you get your foot in the door, but if you start displaying neediness or any other unattractive behavior, your good looks won't mean shit.  She may sleep with the guy a few times, but she will never consider him as a serious long-term partner.

That's exactly what I said in the last para. Looks are important but character meaning behavior will ultimately decide the outcome of a relationship.