Is jerking off to porn self-deception?

[assx95]

I was contemplating about my sexuality. And here is what I discovered: 

1. My desire to spend more time with a certain someone of the opposite sex (my drive for romantic relationships) was innate in me since the age of 7. 

2. Unlike my ancestors whose sexual attraction to women was triggered by visual cues on seeing a real woman. My first and subsequent sexual attraction was to women dressed in skimpy clothes in a magazine at the age of 5. I was born in 1995. It wasn't until 16 i was sexually attracted to a real girl in my class. But it was too late as i had immersed myself in internet porn by then. 

My theory is that this has made me sexually dysfunctional in that, i seek more porn than real women, and confuse women in porn for real women and jerk off to them as if they are real. Consciously i can make the distinction that women in porn are just pixels, but i think it doesn't register on the subconscious level which still thinks it is fucking real women. 

So, can someone answer the question? 

Edited November 11, 2019 by assx95

[Shroomdoctor]

What do you seek when using porn? For me it is intimacy, which I dont get through it. Im in the process of kicking that habit. It fucks up everything.

[Aeris]

mindfulness masturbation

[Average Investor]

A lot of it comes from the fact that children are never usually exposed to naked people. That's where things like foot fetishes develop because there is a lack of exposure. The feet could be something they get exposed to while under a table playing. 

There is not a lot of people who successful change what their sexual interests are, but since yours is just virtual it might be easier to move it to physical. My guess would be more of an addiction if anything. Might seem a little out of what most would suggest, but how about you try a low dose of shrooms and dedicate the time to contemplating this. Also, do 30 days no fap. If you find yourself with heavy desire during that it might be a good time to trip. 

[whoareyou]

There is nothing healthy about porn. Watching porn is like eating at Mcdonalds.

Quit porn cold turkey and get on to semen retention.

 

[oMarcos]

Porn is that junk food that really tastes good, but when the fun is over you tell yourself "I'm miserable"

[Aeris]

15 minutes ago, oMarcos said:

Porn is that junk food that really tastes good, but when the fun is over you tell yourself "I'm miserable"

depend, if you do it mindfully.

I read many tantra exercice about self pleasure.
 

someone awakened could still put his life to the service of giving sex or be a master at sex.

but surely this is a drug.

but guess what, everything we put our hands on, is a potential chemical release ( energy depletion ).

so surely if you cease an activity that depletes you ( like if you fap 5 times a day ) of course you'll feel like shit when you do, and feel good when you don't.

if you see yourself as a phone, with battery everyday.
 

it depend aswell how many time you abused porn:fapping.

 

you can seriously live a healthy life while fapping on porn;

But it depend the porn, depend the practice you do, depend how you do it, why you do it, and HOW many times you do it, and how your body react to overdoing it/ not doing it.

I would try period without fapping for days ( just to effectively, cease the ritual pattern and become aware of it, if there is )

 

I think the shame from fapping, coming from religious belief

 

Edited November 11, 2019 by Aeris

[Bill W]

Porn gets such a bad deal on here! Just don't let it become an obsession. The problem is never the porn and never the fapping. Its like many things in life, be sensible and use in moderation. If you are vulnerable to porn and fapping then work on your inner issues rather than laying the blame external to you. 

[Lento]

Dude, you're very young, it's okay to have a strong sexual desire at your age. I would say go with it fully and don't hold back, discover your sexuality, whatever that means to you.

Edited November 11, 2019 by Lento

[Arcangelo]

Yes.

 

[assx95]

@Arcangelo @Lento @Bill W @Aeris @oMarcos @whoareyou @Average Investor @Shroomdoctor 

Thanks everyone. But the question remains unanswered. Either I was not clear, or the question was misunderstood. The question wasn't about the healthiness or unhealthiness of porn or about addiction. 

In the context of Leo's 3 part videos on Self-deception, 

Is jerking off to porn self-deception? 

[Lento]

Answer it for yourself and you will become enlightened.

Try the question: what is deception?

Edited November 12, 2019 by Lento

[assx95]

@Lento

51 minutes ago, Lento said:

Try the question: what is deception?

Deception is about masking up the truth such that it isn't obvious what the truth is. Deception presents itself as the truth. If the truth sets you free, then deception keeps you entrapped in its paradigm. Deception is a sweet lie. So sweet that it convinces you that the truth is not worth pursuing, and it offers you the sweetest deals without telling you the cost you will incur. Deception doesn't let you know you're being deceived. Deception distracts you from anything that leads towards the truth. Deception is a force of its own, but i don't understand why it needs to deceive, is the truth that bad? 

[Lento]

@assx95 No.